ME singles ads

afro-elf · 03-12-2002, 10:06 PM

What would middle-earth personal adds look like?

Assume ALL characters for this purpose are single

Wayfarer · 03-12-2002, 10:25 PM

Single Exiled Numenorean Male looking for Single Elf Maiden. Likes long walks under strange stars, pipe smoking, and heroic quests. Has a Large Sword. Contact aragorn, son of Arathron.

FrodoFriend · 03-12-2002, 10:34 PM

Forgot to mention: large sword is broken.

Single Dark Lord wants curvy, golden beauty. Will wrap you around his finger. Enjoys desert hikes and weekends in secluded fortress. Seeks one-of-a-kind relationship. Go to Black Gate and ask for Lidless Eye.

Eruviel Greenleaf · 03-13-2002, 12:54 AM

~Single human female, looking for future king. Must have a re-forged sword that was the heirloom of an ancient king. Preferably a ranger/exiled Numenorean. I enjoy horseback riding, sword fighting, and slaying foul dwimmerlaiks. Also, I don't mind going on long hikes through dreary, frightening places. I can be very devoted, too. Contact Eowyn, Lady of Rohan, and the daughter of Eomund.

Cirdan · 03-13-2002, 02:20 AM

Voluptuous entwife seeks huorn for quite times. No mead drinkers please.

Eruviel Greenleaf · 03-13-2002, 02:32 AM

I guess I should do one for myself--er, I mean Legolas. . .or not. He seemed perfectly happy with his adventures and his good friend Gimli.

~Wraith-king seeks female wraith companion. Enjoys chasing after hobbits, trying to take over countries, scaring people out of their minds, hanging out with pals in towers that used to belong to Gondor, before we corrupted them, riding the skies on winged .things and a quiet tea time with orcs. Contact The Witch King, Minas Morgul.

Aragorns Dimple · 03-13-2002, 07:41 AM

Senior, refined Gentleman seeks lady similar for companionship, view marriage. I am tall, slim build, with facial hair and many magickal powers. I enjoy nature walks, hiking and camping out, rock-climbing, abseiling and free-fall dives. Seeking an adventurous lady who would accompany me on my travels, Smoker OK, Kids OK. Call 1-900-GANDALF and leave a message.

Arathorn · 03-13-2002, 11:54 AM

Dancer and songwriter wishes to meet fellow free spirit. Applicants with hangups of any sort need not apply. Cooking skills are a major advantage.

StrawberryIcecream · 03-13-2002, 12:33 PM

small, lonely once-a-man seeking a presssiousssssssss young girl with lotssssssss of fissssssshhhh. No nasty hobbits and contact Gollum in SSSSSSSSSSHhhhhelobs lair.

galadriel88 · 03-14-2002, 12:39 AM

LOL, Strawberry, that was good!

Tanoliel · 03-15-2002, 05:07 PM

Mature dwarf, enjoys caves, rocks, gems and explorations of mines. Seeking similar companion, or else an elf queen. Contact Gimli.

Heh...Galadriel...

-tano

Eruviel Greenleaf · 03-15-2002, 05:10 PM

LOL, Tano!

Lonely Mountain seeks companion, preferably also a mountain. . .

Elf Girl · 03-15-2002, 05:21 PM

-Balrog seeks companion of similar sort. Must not mind seeing wizards cast into pits. Go to Moria, ask for the Boss.

Elfmaster XK · 03-15-2002, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Eruviel Greenleaf
LOL, Tano!

Lonely Mountain seeks companion, preferably also a mountain. . .

That was funny!! I like!!

galadriel88 · 03-16-2002, 01:01 AM

Beautiful and wise elf queen seeks wise companion, willing to rule over Lorien with me, preferably not a dwarf except those whose names begin with G and end with i....

Arathorn · 03-16-2002, 01:26 AM

Action-starved funky uruk reeks desire for obedient maggot. Pleasing personality not required. Go to 4th crack from dead tree root beside morgul bridge. Yell for Lugshnak. Throw first emerging uruk over bridge then enter crack to be satisfied. Understand?!

olsonm · 03-16-2002, 01:33 AM

Single male, lord of the house of Hador: seeking golden-haired lady. Must not be judgemental about past instances of incest; it was an honest mistake!---Turin

Eruviel Greenleaf · 03-16-2002, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Elfmaster XK

That was funny!! I like!!

Thanks

Eruviel Greenleaf · 03-16-2002, 01:52 AM

Halfelven Mariner seeks companion to sail the sky with. Enjoy sailing, and have a Silmaril and a lovely ship blessed by Varda herself.

Arathorn · 03-16-2002, 02:35 AM

Hoom Hroomm I am a single tall middle aged ent with fine branches and soft but firm leaves. I would like to say more as I am not at all hasty but the adspace is quite limited as you can imagine. I would gladly meet you near the entwash on the fortnight to get to know you better if you wish to know my full name among others. Hoom Hroom

*wipes sap from eyes* I don't think I can go on with this...

Why did I not compliment her flowers in the first age? Hoom Hroom I am doomed to end my days with a broken cork. Hoom Hroom.

03-12-2002, 10:06 PM	#1
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	ME singles ads What would middle-earth personal adds look like? Assume ALL characters for this purpose are single __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

03-12-2002, 10:25 PM	#2
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	Single Exiled Numenorean Male looking for Single Elf Maiden. Likes long walks under strange stars, pipe smoking, and heroic quests. Has a Large Sword. Contact aragorn, son of Arathron. __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned

03-12-2002, 10:34 PM	#3
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	Forgot to mention: large sword is broken. Single Dark Lord wants curvy, golden beauty. Will wrap you around his finger. Enjoys desert hikes and weekends in secluded fortress. Seeks one-of-a-kind relationship. Go to Black Gate and ask for Lidless Eye. __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears

03-13-2002, 12:54 AM	#4
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	~Single human female, looking for future king. Must have a re-forged sword that was the heirloom of an ancient king. Preferably a ranger/exiled Numenorean. I enjoy horseback riding, sword fighting, and slaying foul dwimmerlaiks. Also, I don't mind going on long hikes through dreary, frightening places. I can be very devoted, too. Contact Eowyn, Lady of Rohan, and the daughter of Eomund. __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

03-13-2002, 02:20 AM	#5
Cirdan Elf Lord of the Grey Havens Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: somewhere else Posts: 2,381	Voluptuous entwife seeks huorn for quite times. No mead drinkers please. __________________ There exists a limit to the force even ther most powerful may apply without destroying themselves. Judging this limit is the true artistry of government. Misuse of power is the fatal sin. The law cannot be a tool of vengance, never a hostage, nor a fortification against the martyrs it has created. You cannot threaten any individual and escape the consequences. -Muad'dib on Law The Stilgar Commentary

03-13-2002, 02:32 AM	#6
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	I guess I should do one for myself--er, I mean Legolas. . .or not. He seemed perfectly happy with his adventures and his good friend Gimli. ~Wraith-king seeks female wraith companion. Enjoys chasing after hobbits, trying to take over countries, scaring people out of their minds, hanging out with pals in towers that used to belong to Gondor, before we corrupted them, riding the skies on winged .things and a quiet tea time with orcs. Contact The Witch King, Minas Morgul. __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

03-13-2002, 07:41 AM	#7
Aragorns Dimple Enting Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: On Viggo's Chin Posts: 77	Senior, refined Gentleman seeks lady similar for companionship, view marriage. I am tall, slim build, with facial hair and many magickal powers. I enjoy nature walks, hiking and camping out, rock-climbing, abseiling and free-fall dives. Seeking an adventurous lady who would accompany me on my travels, Smoker OK, Kids OK. Call 1-900-GANDALF and leave a message. __________________ "Is it nice, my preciousss? Is it juicy? Is it scrumptiously crunchable?" - Gollum

03-13-2002, 11:54 AM	#8
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	Dancer and songwriter wishes to meet fellow free spirit. Applicants with hangups of any sort need not apply. Cooking skills are a major advantage. __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

03-13-2002, 12:33 PM	#9
StrawberryIcecream Elf Lord Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: In my jeans Posts: 915	small, lonely once-a-man seeking a presssiousssssssss young girl with lotssssssss of fissssssshhhh. No nasty hobbits and contact Gollum in SSSSSSSSSSHhhhhelobs lair. __________________ www.foolofatook.com for all you pippin's out there.

03-14-2002, 12:39 AM	#10
galadriel88 Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Far off in a dream Posts: 1,166	LOL, Strawberry, that was good! __________________ The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come."

03-15-2002, 05:07 PM	#11
Tanoliel Eccentric Chocolate Crow Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The Emerald City--Seattle, WA Posts: 1,861	Mature dwarf, enjoys caves, rocks, gems and explorations of mines. Seeking similar companion, or else an elf queen. Contact Gimli. Heh...Galadriel... -tano __________________ Wisdom for Short Attention Spans...Ozy and Millie. It rocks. Food Of The Gods: 3,7-dihydro-3,7-dimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione Feed Me.... Another Online Dwelling Place... "All right, I confess. It is my intention to comandeer a ship, pick up a crew in Tortuga, to rape, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out." -Captain Jack Sparrow "The trouble with unknown enemies is that they are so difficult to identify." -Amelia Peabody Emerson "Most people obey the orders of someone who is pointing a gun at their head." -A.P. Emerson

03-15-2002, 05:10 PM	#12
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	LOL, Tano! Lonely Mountain seeks companion, preferably also a mountain. . . __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

03-15-2002, 05:21 PM	#13
Elf Girl Lurker Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Lothlórien Posts: 3,419	-Balrog seeks companion of similar sort. Must not mind seeing wizards cast into pits. Go to Moria, ask for the Boss. __________________ There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium...

03-16-2002, 01:01 AM	#15
galadriel88 Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Far off in a dream Posts: 1,166	Beautiful and wise elf queen seeks wise companion, willing to rule over Lorien with me, preferably not a dwarf except those whose names begin with G and end with i.... __________________ The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come."

03-16-2002, 01:26 AM	#16
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	Action-starved funky uruk reeks desire for obedient maggot. Pleasing personality not required. Go to 4th crack from dead tree root beside morgul bridge. Yell for Lugshnak. Throw first emerging uruk over bridge then enter crack to be satisfied. Understand?! __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

03-16-2002, 01:33 AM	#17
olsonm Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: minneapolis MN Posts: 920	Single male, lord of the house of Hador: seeking golden-haired lady. Must not be judgemental about past instances of incest; it was an honest mistake!---Turin __________________ Gandalf lives...oh and Frodo too. Haldir Lives!!!

03-16-2002, 01:52 AM	#19
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	Halfelven Mariner seeks companion to sail the sky with. Enjoy sailing, and have a Silmaril and a lovely ship blessed by Varda herself. __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

03-16-2002, 02:35 AM	#20
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	Hoom Hroomm I am a single tall middle aged ent with fine branches and soft but firm leaves. I would like to say more as I am not at all hasty but the adspace is quite limited as you can imagine. I would gladly meet you near the entwash on the fortnight to get to know you better if you wish to know my full name among others. Hoom Hroom wipes sap from eyes I don't think I can go on with this... Why did I not compliment her flowers in the first age? Hoom Hroom I am doomed to end my days with a broken cork. Hoom Hroom. __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...