all I ever needed to know in life....

[galadriel]

This is a list that I wrote for my friend's birthday... or at least the more witty sections. Feel free to add on!

All I Ever Needed To Know About Life, I Learned from... Tolkien?

-If you want to marry an Elven princess, thus causing her to forsake her immortality, make sure her father really likes you. It also doesn’t hurt if you’re the rightful heir-in-exile of a prominent kingdom.

-Highborn Elves may ask you for locks of your hair, but in the end, give them to a Dwarf. They’re brave, loyal, and they’ll go around bragging about how wonderful you are for the rest of their existences.

-In a pinch, an apple can prove to be an excellent weapon.

-When a monster approaches that makes all the little monsters scurry away in fear, get out of there.

-A talent at solving riddles can come in handy at the most unexpected times.

-Don’t trust people wearing multicolored robes.

-Always bring rope.

-If you ask an Elf a question, be prepared to hear a song.

-If you ask a wizard a question, be prepared to hear a speech.

-Those who try to categorize Tom Bombadil are looking for a whack on the head.

-It's not Proudfoots, it's Proudfeet.

-Don’t say “good morning” to a wizard unless you want to hear a long diatribe about the multiple interpretations of stock phrases.

-"Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!"