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Old 08-29-2007, 08:21 PM   #1
Nautipus
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Discussion for Hoofbeat Hill

I am only posting this story so that I can get some feedback on it. Please be as candid as you like. i really would like to know what you think.
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One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons
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Old 08-30-2007, 11:35 AM   #2
Acalewia
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Oh wow. You hooked me on the opening line about small towns. I can tell right now this is going to be a good thriller. You've already got me asking questions. Like why did Alex and Tyler leave? Where is everybody? What is going on?
Btw don't answer that here

Keep it up
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"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked

Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

"Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor

http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera
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Old 08-30-2007, 11:45 AM   #3
Nautipus
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Thanks a bunch. And yeah, all that is too be explained later. I dont know when I will be able to post there again for a couple of days, but I will continue.
__________________
One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons
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Old 08-30-2007, 11:05 PM   #4
Tuinor
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Whoa, man. This is getting pretty good. I gotta wonder wether Tasha's really seeing these things, or if she's just completely mental.

. . . You're not planning to pull a psychological thriller on us, are you?


Don't you mess with me!!!

I also love the way you described the noise she heard in your most recent post. It's the small details like that that make stories worth reading instead of watching the movie. It is possible, however, to go overboard with them. Trust me on that.
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Old 08-30-2007, 11:20 PM   #5
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Thanks, T. I will use that advice, but I have already had a few stories shot down (then burned, flayed, and hung) because of too much of the little stuff. You'll know soon enough about her though, and Tyler and Alex, too.
It's coming.
Get an umbrella.
__________________
One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons
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Old 09-01-2007, 12:40 PM   #6
Acalewia
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*holds an umbrella at the ready*

This is just getting better and better
__________________
"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked

Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

"Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor

http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera
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Old 09-06-2007, 11:55 PM   #7
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The car has to be changed, man.

Or at least destroyed later on in the story.

Other than that, I liked these new additions to the story. Especially Alex and Tyler's brotherly love thing you got going. It was pretty convincing (and got me to thinking 'bout me and my own brother... good times ).
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Old 09-07-2007, 12:13 AM   #8
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Thank you, thank you very much.
I really liked this new approach Im taking, Im trying to rveal bits and pieces of the twin's background story as they go along(
the story about their friend is a clue
). Unfortunately, Tasha is left without a very interesting background, but she is a vessel for something else of great importance.
I hope you enjoy what I'll be posting over the next few days.
If you dont keep up with your own story Im gonna gut a chevy right before your eyes.

Oh, by the way, the car stays. I put it their just for you.
__________________
One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons

Last edited by Nautipus : 09-07-2007 at 03:34 PM.
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Old 09-08-2007, 12:23 PM   #9
Acalewia
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That was the funniest post yet. The brotherly bickering was just funny
__________________
"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked

Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

"Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor

http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera
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Old 09-13-2007, 08:39 PM   #10
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The night grows silent...

Eerie. My friend, your skills are improving.
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Old 09-13-2007, 09:09 PM   #11
Nautipus
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Why thank you, my pitiably land-locked friend.
__________________
One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons
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Old 09-13-2007, 09:29 PM   #12
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Talk about your book, not me.
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Old 09-13-2007, 09:45 PM   #13
Nautipus
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Better than you.
__________________
One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons
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Old 09-16-2007, 04:27 PM   #14
Acalewia
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*shivers*Oooo. Creepy.

So the twins have guns. The question is: will they be useful later? I have been watching too many horror and thriller movies lately.
__________________
"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked

Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

"Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor

http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera
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Old 09-16-2007, 06:47 PM   #15
Nautipus
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Well, this isnt going to be a typical horror story, just ask Tuinor . I usually try to draw from real life events, and then weave them with fictional myths or stories of my own design. So, whether or not the guns will be useful depends really upon your definition of it. I wont give anything away, but I will say that this particular story is heading down a road that I didnt think it would, this is after-all a seat-of-the-pants operation . I do have a bit of storyline mapped out, but for the most part.....well I just have a beggining, amiddle, and an end. We'll see how it goes.
__________________
One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons
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Old 09-17-2007, 11:30 AM   #16
Tuinor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nautipus
Well, this isnt going to be a typical horror story, just ask Tuinor
You leave me outta this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nautipus
this is after-all a seat-of-the-pants operation .
I haven't wet myself yet...
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Old 09-17-2007, 12:29 PM   #17
Acalewia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuinor
You leave me outta this!
I take you you two either know each other in rl or are really good friends


Quote:
I haven't wet myself yet...
LOL. Me either
__________________
"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked

Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

"Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor

http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera
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Old 09-17-2007, 03:12 PM   #18
Nautipus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuinor
I havn't wet myself yet...

Yes you did. Right on my bed. I know it was you, I heard you laugh. You cant blame Snickers!



And yes, Acalewia, we are good friends in rl.


Anyway, I feel good about the beginning to chapter 3.
__________________
One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons
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Old 09-18-2007, 12:32 PM   #19
Acalewia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nautipus
Anyway, I feel good about the beginning to chapter 3.
I do too
__________________
"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked

Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

"Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor

http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera
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Old 09-18-2007, 09:26 PM   #20
Nautipus
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Thankyou, for the agreementnessishingthing.
agreement
__________________
One of my top ten favorite movies.

"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
"Oh."

-Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons
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