The Sylmaryllyon - The Early Years

[jammi567]

Once they finished, Turin said: "You're so beautiful. Do you want to marry me?" And she said yes instantly, but there was a nagging doubt that she shouldn't.

[Grey_Wolf]

The wedding was held at the City Cathedral and the party afterwards at the Coyote Ugly club.

A strange woman walked into the bar as the party came into full swing.

[Grey_Wolf]

Unbeknowst to the pair it was their mother who had been looking for Neinor for a very long time and upon seeing the twine dancing and kissing was shocked.
"My dear daughter, what are you doing?" and Neinor, which had lost her memory because of all the booze consumed during the shows at the club, somehow got it back and recognized the man in front of her as her brother and was horrified.

[jammi567]

She ran out of the club, went back to where she 'did it', got a knife, and killed herself, by slicing her stomach.

[Grey_Wolf]

Several hundred years later the Realm of Doriath was revealed and under siege by hoards of the Enemy Musicians.

[Grey_Wolf]

The borders of that once secret abode of 60's girl group pop was breached by emmense hords of Punkrocker balrogs, heavy metal orcs, death metal dragons banging their heads against the walls trying to get in.

[jammi567]

But in they couldn't get. So they hired classical dwarf to get in, and kill the heads of the group: Melian the fair, and Thingol the transvestite.

[Grey_Wolf]

The elves made ready to exit through the backdoor - and activated their special defense system - highspeakers set up around the perimeter of the castle.

Out blared the Supremes, Martha and the Vandellas and for good measure Barbra Streisand.

[jammi567]

The punk rockers writhered in pain, and they managed to escape. For now....

[Grey_Wolf]

But with skillfully aimed rocks the orcs succeeded in damaging a couple of the high-speakers and gained entrance just after the elves had escaped.

[jammi567]

Inside, they messed everything up into a total mess. They then started making plans on how to kill the escapees.

[Grey_Wolf]

But one of the orcs who had severe inability to let things alone happened to punch a button on the cd-player of the magnifecent stereo set in living room and out blared Shirley Bassey - to the utmost discomfort of the invaders.

The Band leading orc shouted: - For crying out aloud will you shut that horrid crap music off.

[jammi567]

He did so (by smashing it), and that got them so worked up that they went out and distroyed everything in their path.

[Grey_Wolf]

And the Dragons and Balrogs playing their Heavy and Death metal outside caused the walls to tumble down.

[jammi567]

And so thus, doriath was distroyed forever, never to rise again.

[Grey_Wolf]

....

[jammi567]

Once done, they went off to celebrate somewhere.

A short time later, some classical dwarves came to nargothrond, asking for some work.

[Grey_Wolf]

The elves were a bit at a loss as to what kind of work they could possibly give dwarves them having a reputation of being hardworkers, but decided to give it a shot after all.

The Dwarves set up their orchestral arrangement and began playing something which in their minds was beautiful but in the ears of the elves were horrendous and were on the verge of driving them to suicide.

[jammi567]

Which they did. Even the noble and wise elf-king was driven to do it.

[Grey_Wolf]

and thus Dwarf Damage metal was born ... ZZ Durin and Ozzy Dwalin were the first to pimp up their beards with mithril skulls - tho' even the elves thought the eye-makeup too much ...

Yet the looks were not enough for to push the Elves towards the inevitable end - when the Dwarves began playing their classical/metal mix many of the high ones began jumping off the high wall in despair and the flood of elven bodies increased 5 fold until there were no one left.

The elven blood cascaded into the fertile ground ... and t'was oftentimes said in later years, that the gardens of Doriath were a sight to behold... and the carrot cake truly delicious