Declaration Of The Rights Of The Hobbit

[The Lady of Ithilien]

(Preliminary notes: I found this on a Spanish language Tolkien site yesterday; it is by the Tolkien Society of Spain and appears on several sites, but apparently none in English, so I figured it would be useful to try to translate it. It's too long for one post, so I split it into two parts. Note: I'm not a professional translator, so this may or may not be an accurate translation. Please read the translator's notes post.)

UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF THE RIGHTS OF THE HOBBIT - PART I

Considering that liberty, justice and peace in the Shire have as a basis the recognition of the intrinsic dignity of equal and inalienable rights for all members of the family of hobbits (I clarify that I don’t know what this paragraph means, but Mr. Baggins has said we should insert it because it looks nice);

Considering that the lack of recognition and belittlement of the rights of hobbits have brought about barbaric abuse, and that it has been proclaimed the highest aspiration of any hobbit, the advent of a Shire where all are free of the awfulness of running out of pipeweed;

The General Assembly Hobbytla proclaims:

The current Universal Declaration of the Rights of the Hobbit as a shared ideal that all towns of the Shire should make an effort to respect and to make respected:

Article 1. – Todos los hobbits nacen. Ejem. Todos los hobbits nacen libres e iguales en dignidad y derechos. Quiero decir, no es que todos los hobbits nazcan derechos; es más recuerdo al hijo de los Matojo, que tuvo dificultades y sacó primero una mano, pero luego todo fue bien. QuerÃ*a significar que todos los hobbits nacen libres e iguales en dignidad e iguales en derechos, no se si ustedes me entienden. No sé, creo que para ser el primero ha quedado algo confuso.

Article 2. – All hobbits have all the rights proclaimed in this Declaration, without distinction of listing in the Book or family connections. This means that the Cortinilla, no matter how very nosey they may be, also have them.

Article 3. – Every hobbit has the right to life, liberty and security of his/her person, including when it’s night and he/she is traveling through the Old Forest.

Article 4. – No one may be subject to bondage or thralldom, exception made for Bob and Nob (who are in thralldom by their own wishes because Butterbur always has behaved well with them), except Saturdays and Sundays, when they may have a free day.

Article 5. – Nobody may be subjected to torture or pain or treatment that is cruel, inhumane or degrading, even though his name is Gollum and he doesn’t pronounce “S’s� well.

Article 6. – Every hobbit has the right to be a hobbit, and to be recognized by the rest as a hobbit, even though he/she may be very ugly or have no hair on his/her feet.

Article 7. – All hobbits are equal before the law and have, without distinction, correct and equal protection of the law. This means that the Tooks shall not receive special favorable treatment.

Article 8. – Every hobbit has the right to be sheltered by the Thain or some other official of the Shire, except in the case where he/she is being chased by a wolf, when one must adhere to the procedure expounded in Article 14.

Article 9. – No hobbit may be arbitrarily reprimanded by an official of the Shire, even rogamos sepan disculpar al Oficial Pedregal quien, debido a su avanzada edad, a veces se confunde, como aquella vez en que el chico pequeño de los Pardal estaba... eh?..., si, ya lo dejo.

Article 10. – Every hobbit has the right to be heard publicly by others, even if his/her conversation is quite boring, for the sake of exhibiting his/her problems and his/her claims, even though they waste our time.

Article 11. – Every hobbit has the right to be considered innocent as long as his/her guilt cannot be proven. Then, he/she will have the right to be guilty.

Article 12. – No hobbit shall be the object of arbitrary interference in his/her private life, his/her family, his/her smial, or his/her correspondence, nor of attacks on his/her honor or his/her reputation. This goes for los Cortinilla, who hear of it.

Continued in Part II

[The Lady of Ithilien]

UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF THE RIGHTS OF THE HOBBIT - PART II

Article 13. – Every hobbit has the right to move freely through the Shire. Every hobbit has the right to leave the Shire and to return to it, always and when it makes things conveniently tidy.

Article 14. – In case of persecution, every hobbit has the right to run.

Article 15. –Every hobbit has the right to be a hobbit. Nobody shall be dispossessed of their “hobbit-ness�. This is in case Article 6 was not clear.

Article 16. – All hobbits have the right to establish a family, always and when it contradicts this accord. Because after business as usual, que la mother-in-law nos cae gorda y tal y cual, then don’t get married, idiot!

Article 17. – Every hobbit has the right to have things of his/her own.

Article 18. – Every hobbit has the right to think what he/she wishes and to express themselves wherever and however he/she wishes, EXCEPT that which refers to the excellent quality of the pipeweed of Tobold Hornblower. Any discussion in respect to that will be considered in bad taste (this article has been suggested by Barbo Hornblower).

Article 19. – Every hobbit has the right not to be harassed because of his/her opinions, snoring or because he/she smells bad. Every hobbit has the right to spread these around (the opinions, not the other stuff), without limitation of borders.

Article 20. – Every hobbit has the right to meet with others, especially in inns and at gatherings of friends. No one is to be forced to go to an inn, if he/she doesn’t want to.

Article 21. – Every hobbit has the right to be Thain, just just the Tooks. Every hobbit has the right to be an official of the Shire.

Article 22. – Every hobbit has the right to be invited by the rest to feasts and parties, and to invite others in turn.

Article 23. – Every hobbit has the right to sit back and relax.

Article 24. – Every hobbit has the right to sit back and relax more.

Article 25. – Every hobbit has the right to meat patties, cheese, rabbit stew with oregano, nuts, raspberries, beer of the 1420 vintage, and pipeweed (accredited, of course).

Article 26. – Every hobbit has the right to learn things.

Article 27. – Every hobbit has the right to sing, dance and tell funny stories.

Article 28. – Every hobbit has the right to bet that these rights may be fulfilled (in the original: a que se cumplan estos derechos).

Article 29. – Every hobbit has the right to fulfill these rights (in the original: a cumplir estos derechos).

Article 30. – None of these rights may be interpreted to supersede any other part of the present declaration.

Epilogue: – It is encouraged that these be applied to other towns and races further from the Shire. We ought to carry these to all the world, to Elves, Men, and Dwarves, and even to Orcs, no matter how bad their breath.

So signed and initialed by the General Assembly Hobbytla, in Cepeda, today.

Josu Gomez, Mailing List of the Tolkien Society, Spain; Alejandro Salamance, 12 December 1998 (List of the AEFCF)

[The Lady of Ithilien]

Translator’s notes:

--While DECLARACIÓN UNIVERSAL DE LOS DERECHOS DEL HOBBIT may be found on many Spanish-language sites, I used this online document.

--There are some references in this document (i.e., to Mr. Bolsón in the prologue (12/19 note: thanks to Starr Polish for shedding the light on that), to the Oficial Pedregal in Article 9) that were mystifying; perhaps these are in-jokes to the Tolkien Society, Spain...?

–I couldn’t figure out which Tolkien characters were meant by los Cortinilla so I left it as is; it means “little curtains,� I think. I suspect the Sackville-Baggins are intended, but am not sure.

–Article I is a wonderful play on the words derechos (rights) and derecho (straight ahead/upright) that quickly escalates into Pythonesque heights of silliness: I couldn’t begin to translate it adequately, so I left it as is. Enjoy, Spanish-speakers!

–Articles 28 and 29 appeared to contain another play on the verb cumplir and its reflexive form cumplirse that I translated as best I could, but kept the original in parentheses.

–Elsewhere, words in italics are those places in the original that I just couldn’t get. Can you?

--Addendum, 12/16/2002: At some point after posting this I realized there could be a better translation of Article 4 that would be more 'to the point,' and so went in and edited that.

[Beleg Strongbow]

that's great!

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Hm-hm, most amusing!

[The Ringbearer]

Beyound cute!

[Elvellon]

Definitely funny

[Starr Polish]

Lady of Ithilien, good job on translating! Mr. Bolson is actually Mr. Baggins in Spanish. I know this becauce a friend of mine bought "El Hobbit" while we were in Spain and the main character was "Biblo Bolson", son of "Belladona Tuk".

[The Lady of Ithilien]

Thanks, Starr Polish! Will go in and correct that. Er, was there any mention of los Cortinilla in your friend's Hobbit? (And if not, can your friend be persuaded to go back to Spain and get El Señor de los Anillos?

[Khamûl]

Hey Lady of Ithilien, you live in Alabama, right? I saw a copy of Lord of the Rings in Spanish in one of the bookstores in a mall in Montgomery. I believe that it was B. Dalton books in Eastdale mall, but I'm not sure. I just remember thinking that it was odd seeing LotR in another language. You might want to check it out if you can.

[Lanelf]

How cute! I can really imagine a council of Hobbits deciding that (with ample breaks for meals and snacks between them, of course) and their pipeweed, and all sitting round a table arguing whether stating that one has the rights to fulfil one's rights makes any sense whatsoever!
Lanelf.

[Beleg Strongbow]

That's great. But would they actually _decide_ anything? They would have a good time, though. A lot of pompous officiousity, a lot of ale, pipeweed, food... The official Four Farthings council.

[Starr Polish]

Originally posted by The Lady of Ithilien
Thanks, Starr Polish! Will go in and correct that. Er, was there any mention of los Cortinilla in your friend's Hobbit? (And if not, can your friend be persuaded to go back to Spain and get El Señor de los Anillos?

I don't know, since she graduated and I haven't seen her since that trip. Sorry...oh, and I probably couldn't go back to Spain, since I live in the US. I could check it out in a Spanish book store though. Heheeee....

[The Lady of Ithilien]

¡Muy bueno!

Too, I could get very brave and track down and join the Spanish Tolkien Society's mailing list (Lista de Correo de la Sociedad Tolkien España), if it's still around, and ask them -- maybe they need a good laugh.

OK. I'm reaching for my mouse...I'm clicking on the keyboard icon to change it to Spanish ... y vamonos a Google!

(to be continued/continuado)

1/16/2003: Just an update. It took a while but I did contact the Spanish Tolkien Society via their "contact us" feature at their Web site; however, the message bounced because that address had been banned by Yahoo.es for spamming. Then I looked up an e-mail address for the Society's smial in Madrid, composed even more Spanish to explain everything, and sent the request out to him. It didn't bounce, but I haven't heard back yet: whether that's because the gentleman in Madrid is still convulsed in laughter at my clumsy Spanish or because it's not a high-priority item, I don't know.