One Hungry Hobbit

[Yodaman]

Here's a humor poem I did. Hope you enjoy it.

One Hungry Hobbit
By Yodaman


‘Why don’t we stop for a bite?’ asked the Hobbit
With a beastly ravenous fury
He’d take anything from some beef to chicken
Even some Gondorian curry!

‘What?’ asks the Ranger of the North
‘We just got one at the inn!
Surely that was enough for you
Don’t you want to say trim?’

‘Yes’ said the Hobbit with a smile on a face
Eager for a bite of pork rind
‘What about a second breakfast’ he said to his friend
His stomach enzymes messing with his mind.

The ranger just walked off ignoring the mess
Shocked at the behavior of his friend
He had never had more than three meals
Let alone beg for one till the end.

‘He doesn’t know about second breakfast’ said the other Hobbit
And very angry was he
He just wasted a very good minute
A minute of peace and glee!

‘Doesn’t know about second breakfast?’ asked the shocked Hobbit
The worst of all horrors he must bear!
No elevensies or afternoon tea
And dinner and supper not there!

How could his life end this way
With so much agony and pain?
His life was so young and carefree
And now it would never be the same.

Suddenly he felt a bump on his skull
Oh he was going to smack his pal!
But lying on the ground was an apple
Salvation had come to his bowels!

Picked the fruit up and said ‘Oh!’
But happier was he than that!
He devoured the morsel with such desire
And happily on the ground he sat.

Thus is the tale of a monstrous horror
A terror beyond comprehension
But all fears can be overcome by kindness
And that’s the end of this conversation.

The End

[Nurvingiel]

I really liked your poem, it's hilarious! I have a few minor suggestions:

He’d take anything from some beef to pork to chicken

I think you should write this line as: He’d take anything from beef to chicken, to fit the meter of the rest of the stanza.


‘Yes’ says the Hobbit with a smile on a face
To keep verb tense consistent, put "said the Hobbit".


Eager for a bite of pork grind

I think you mean "pork rind"


Shocked of the behavior of his friend

Shocked at the behavior


‘Doesn’t know about second breakfast?’ asked the shocked Hobbit
The worst of all horrors he must bear!
No elevensies or afternoon tea
And dinner and supper are not there!

To fit with the meter of the rest of this stanza, I think the last line should read: And dinner and supper not there!


Salvation had come to his bowels!

I would recommend a different word than "bowels". Sadly, I couldn't think of a suggestion that rhymed.


Picked the fruit up and said ‘oh’

I think you should write the line like this: He picked the fruit up and said 'Oh!'


The humour of this poem is very good, and I think the rhyming and meter fits it well. Nice work.
*wanders off chuckling Gondorian curry...*

[Rosie Gamgee]

Cute! I always loved that part. Poor Pip. He's so cute, though.