Ask Snape Column - Page 5

Gil-galad · 10-02-2005, 08:57 PM

Miss Granger,

It's a pity your Inner Eye fails to serve you. You might have predicted my reaction to your cheek. Ten points from Gryffindor. I do hope you enjoy being an insufferable know-it-all, because it will be your only consolation next time. Give me a reason to expel you. I beg you.

Snape

------------------------

Dumbledore's Pet,

I still don't trust you. Thought you ought to know.

Bellatrix

Lord Choc Obo · 10-03-2005, 06:57 PM

you wouldn't even trust your own hands unless they were carrying food Bella, so I don't care at all...I know you're lying to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I'm a perfect occlumens, remember, you wouldn't want HIM to find out???

Snape

____ccccc______CCCCCC_______cccccc_______

Snape,

I don't trust bellatrix anymore, could you get rid of her for me???

Voldy (I like that name, it sounds...cool, please adress me like this in the futur, or else you'll die a painfull death)

ladymadaysia · 10-10-2005, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Choc Obo

you wouldn't even trust your own hands unless they were carrying food Bella, so I don't care at all...I know you're lying to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I'm a perfect occlumens, remember, you wouldn't want HIM to find out???

Snape

____ccccc______CCCCCC_______cccccc_______

Snape,

I don't trust bellatrix anymore, could you get rid of her for me???

Voldy (I like that name, it sounds...cool, please adress me like this in the futur, or else you'll die a painfull death)

Voldy,

I would gladly get rid of that useless woman for you. She aggravates me, anyway. Would you like a slow and painful death or a quick death. Avada Kedavra? Write back soon.

Severus Snape

Dear Snape,
I don't appreciate your use of poisons on the Potter kid. Kindly please refrain from poisoning him again.
Minerva McGonagall

ladymadaysia · 10-11-2005, 12:02 AM

this is fun =)

EarthBound · 10-12-2005, 03:22 PM

Minerva,

How was your tea this morning ? [grin]

Snape

Professor Snape,

Why do you always wear black, kinda gloomy don't you think?

anonymous student

Lord Choc Obo · 10-12-2005, 06:13 PM

dear anonymous student

by touching this letter, you just became colour blind for a month, thanks to a special potion of my own making... from now on I will write the instruction rules on the blackboard in dark green... see of you can read that.

I like black okay, it's just a reflection of my mind, now be gone.

snape

//////////////////////////////////

good old Snape

remember me??? I don't remember me at all, so I was hoping you knew me...

love, Lockheart

ladymadaysia · 10-12-2005, 07:41 PM

Dear Lockheart,

I remember you. I also remember the job you took from me. Sorry to hear that you don't remember yourself, but just know that you were a pompous sleezebag, and I, I was a handsome man that poisoned your drink with need-to-pee every so often.

Good day,
Snape

Dear Snape,

Did you love my mommy?

Love,
Harry

Lord Choc Obo · 10-17-2005, 05:07 PM

dear harry, I am the cause of your mother's death, I didn't love her a single bit, I despiced her with all the hate I had in my body.

so no, I did not love her at all.

now I will kill you

your dearest Snape

_____ ______ ______ _____

good snape,

I just saw in my glass orb that Harry Potter is out to kill you, watch out for the boy.

The One With The All Seeing Eye

ladymadaysia · 10-18-2005, 12:24 AM

Dear One With The All Seeing Eye,

Your glass orb is nothing but a fishbowl full of water that is upside down. I know that the Potter kid is out to kills me, so if you please don't mind, keep your nose out of other people's business.

Severus

---

Dear Snape,

Can we have your autograph? We'd love to put it up in our new joke shop.

Sincerely,
The Weasley Twins

**Nurvingiel** · 10-18-2005, 03:00 AM

Dear Snape,
May I have some Boomslang? Lee Jordan told me if you put a pinch of Boomslang in photograph developing solution, you can actually get the subjects to throw objects outside the picture. Consider this a special study project.
Sincerely,
Colin Creevy

Mr. Creevy,
You need remedial studies, not special studies. Since you have only served to illustrate why I don't let incompetant students get their unwashed hands on my private stores, the answer is no.

Snape

PS. You have an extra assignment from me for your foolishness. Write 12 inches on why you must not take Potions advice from Gryffindors. Due next lesson.

Telcontar_Dunedain · 10-18-2005, 12:48 PM

Nurv. You're meant to answer the last letter in the last post, and write but not answer a new letter in your post, not write and answer.

ladymadaysia · 10-19-2005, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nurvingiel

Mr. Creevy,
You need remedial studies, not special studies. Since you have only served to illustrate why I don't let incompetant students get their unwashed hands on my private stores, the answer is no.

Snape

PS. You have an extra assignment from me for your foolishness. Write 12 inches on why you must not take Potions advice from Gryffindors. Due next lesson.

Dearest Snape,

I accidently put love potion inside of your drink yesterday. I hope you aren't angry with me.

Sincerely,
Professor Umbridge

Lord Choc Obo · 10-19-2005, 06:52 PM

I knew something was wrong when I woke up next to minerva this morning.....

____ ________ _______ ____ _________

dear professor snape

I was wondering if you would give us slytherins a few dueling lessons, we're thinking about taking over the gryffindor common room you see.

thank you

signed, the slytherin suicide squad

Lord Choc Obo · 11-17-2005, 06:19 AM

well dear slytherins, I don't think you will even need dueling lessons, just say BOO and they'll scatter and run like the cowardly chickens they are.

don't forget about the AK spell I thaught you if Potter or Weasley tries to resist.

jolly hunting young men.

_____________________

Snape, it's been a long time I heard of you, what've you been doing these last years?

your DAD

Fleur Delacour · 11-17-2005, 07:37 PM

Dear Father,
What on earth would have given you the idea that I actually cared if you were alive or not?. From the first day that I was born and I saw your ugly pointed face sneering down at me like a rabid boar. Perhaps you would have done us both a favor by killing me at birth. Perhaps then I would not have had to put up with your malice, your conceit, and your utter contempt for life.

Sincerely,
Professor S. Snape

Severus,
I seem to have run out of that special potion you’ve been brewing for me and wondered if you might send some with this owl, only there’s a full moon coming up and... Well you know what happens, you’ve seen the effects for yourself,
Thanking you in advance,
Remus Lupin

durinsbane2244 · 11-17-2005, 09:02 PM

Lupin,

Oh, my DEAR, DEAR Remus, of course! who could imagine a better task than slaving over a hot cauldron so you can sleep at night! i mean, it's not like i'm busy at the moment, i'm only PLOTTING YOU AND YOUR FRIEND'S DEATHS!

sincerly yours,
severus
--------------------------------------------------------------------
dear snape,
watch out punk, i'm comin for you! it's your fault my mum and pa are dead, and you killed Wob Wo-i mean, Dumbledore! fear me!

H.P.

rohirrim TR · 11-17-2005, 11:33 PM

hey whats with the scar in the movies, i just watched, um whats the title..? Prsoner of azbakan and Harry's scar went from the rights side of head to the left and then back in less than 2 minutes, JUst a continuity error or what?

Lord Choc Obo · 11-18-2005, 08:03 PM

rohirrim, keep to the thread

____ ____ ____ ____

dearest harry,

I'm very sorry for the death of your parents, why don't you come and meet me and He who must not be named for a cup of coffee??? that way it's easier for us to kill you, we will in the end anyway, no need in running and hiding you know.

deadly yours

snape

____ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

good snape,

remember me? it's Slughorn, your favorite potions teacher. how have you been doing? still not up to my league now are you??? never mind that, I was wondering if you would cut up a few carrots for me, thank you.

Slughorn

durinsbane2244 · 11-18-2005, 08:55 PM

nice, nice...i'll let someone else go...but the temptation...oooh...carrots...

rohirrim TR · 11-19-2005, 01:21 PM

i thought this was a question thread. oh wait snape is that really grumpy dude huh. oh so its like a joke thread *realization dawns* oops

10-12-2005, 03:22 PM	#85
EarthBound Lady Tipple & Queen of Blessed Thistle Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: I've been told it's all in my head Posts: 916	Minerva, How was your tea this morning ? [grin] Snape Professor Snape, Why do you always wear black, kinda gloomy don't you think? anonymous student __________________ Beer + Pizza = N'uff said Happy to be here The HACBR has been alerted to my postings…..Hobbits Against Constant Beer References Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Ben Franklin I want my Mooter T-Shirt!

10-18-2005, 12:48 PM	#91
Telcontar_Dunedain Warrior of the House of Hador Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 4,651	Nurv. You're meant to answer the last letter in the last post, and write but not answer a new letter in your post, not write and answer. __________________ Then Huor spoke and said: "Yet if it stands but a little while, then out of your house shall come the hope of Elves and Men. This I say to you, lord, with the eyes of death: though we part here for ever, and I shall not look on your white walls again, from you and me a new star shall arise. Farewell!" The Silmarillion, Nirnaeth Arnoediad, Page 230

11-17-2005, 09:02 PM	#96
durinsbane2244 Dreamweaver Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Misty Mountains, where the spirits go... Posts: 3,560	Lupin, Oh, my DEAR, DEAR Remus, of course! who could imagine a better task than slaving over a hot cauldron so you can sleep at night! i mean, it's not like i'm busy at the moment, i'm only PLOTTING YOU AND YOUR FRIEND'S DEATHS! sincerly yours, severus -------------------------------------------------------------------- dear snape, watch out punk, i'm comin for you! it's your fault my mum and pa are dead, and you killed Wob Wo-i mean, Dumbledore! fear me! H.P. __________________ Lord, what fools these mortals be! ---------------- We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams; World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams: Yet we are the movers and shakers Of the world for ever, it seems. ---------------- Shanti, shanti, shantih...

11-18-2005, 08:55 PM	#99
durinsbane2244 Dreamweaver Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Misty Mountains, where the spirits go... Posts: 3,560	nice, nice...i'll let someone else go...but the temptation...oooh...carrots... __________________ Lord, what fools these mortals be! ---------------- We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams; World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams: Yet we are the movers and shakers Of the world for ever, it seems. ---------------- Shanti, shanti, shantih...

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10-02-2005, 08:57 PM	#81
Gil-galad Hobbit Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 15	Miss Granger, It's a pity your Inner Eye fails to serve you. You might have predicted my reaction to your cheek. Ten points from Gryffindor. I do hope you enjoy being an insufferable know-it-all, because it will be your only consolation next time. Give me a reason to expel you. I beg you. Snape ------------------------ Dumbledore's Pet, I still don't trust you. Thought you ought to know. Bellatrix

10-03-2005, 06:57 PM	#82
Lord Choc Obo Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 101	you wouldn't even trust your own hands unless they were carrying food Bella, so I don't care at all...I know you're lying to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I'm a perfect occlumens, remember, you wouldn't want HIM to find out??? Snape ____ccccc______CCCCCC_______cccccc_______ Snape, I don't trust bellatrix anymore, could you get rid of her for me??? Voldy (I like that name, it sounds...cool, please adress me like this in the futur, or else you'll die a painfull death)

10-11-2005, 12:02 AM	#84
ladymadaysia Sapling Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 7	this is fun =)

10-12-2005, 06:13 PM	#86
Lord Choc Obo Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 101	dear anonymous student by touching this letter, you just became colour blind for a month, thanks to a special potion of my own making... from now on I will write the instruction rules on the blackboard in dark green... see of you can read that. I like black okay, it's just a reflection of my mind, now be gone. snape ////////////////////////////////// good old Snape remember me??? I don't remember me at all, so I was hoping you knew me... love, Lockheart

10-12-2005, 07:41 PM	#87
ladymadaysia Sapling Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 7	Dear Lockheart, I remember you. I also remember the job you took from me. Sorry to hear that you don't remember yourself, but just know that you were a pompous sleezebag, and I, I was a handsome man that poisoned your drink with need-to-pee every so often. Good day, Snape Dear Snape, Did you love my mommy? Love, Harry

10-17-2005, 05:07 PM	#88
Lord Choc Obo Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 101	dear harry, I am the cause of your mother's death, I didn't love her a single bit, I despiced her with all the hate I had in my body. so no, I did not love her at all. now I will kill you your dearest Snape _____ ______ ______ _____ good snape, I just saw in my glass orb that Harry Potter is out to kill you, watch out for the boy. The One With The All Seeing Eye

10-18-2005, 12:24 AM	#89
ladymadaysia Sapling Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 7	Dear One With The All Seeing Eye, Your glass orb is nothing but a fishbowl full of water that is upside down. I know that the Potter kid is out to kills me, so if you please don't mind, keep your nose out of other people's business. Severus --- Dear Snape, Can we have your autograph? We'd love to put it up in our new joke shop. Sincerely, The Weasley Twins

10-19-2005, 06:52 PM	#93
Lord Choc Obo Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 101	I knew something was wrong when I woke up next to minerva this morning..... ____ ________ _______ ____ _________ dear professor snape I was wondering if you would give us slytherins a few dueling lessons, we're thinking about taking over the gryffindor common room you see. thank you signed, the slytherin suicide squad

11-17-2005, 06:19 AM	#94
Lord Choc Obo Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 101	well dear slytherins, I don't think you will even need dueling lessons, just say BOO and they'll scatter and run like the cowardly chickens they are. don't forget about the AK spell I thaught you if Potter or Weasley tries to resist. jolly hunting young men. _____________________ Snape, it's been a long time I heard of you, what've you been doing these last years? your DAD

11-17-2005, 07:37 PM	#95
Fleur Delacour Sapling Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Beauxbatons, Academy of Magic Posts: 13	Dear Father, What on earth would have given you the idea that I actually cared if you were alive or not?. From the first day that I was born and I saw your ugly pointed face sneering down at me like a rabid boar. Perhaps you would have done us both a favor by killing me at birth. Perhaps then I would not have had to put up with your malice, your conceit, and your utter contempt for life. Sincerely, Professor S. Snape Severus, I seem to have run out of that special potion you’ve been brewing for me and wondered if you might send some with this owl, only there’s a full moon coming up and... Well you know what happens, you’ve seen the effects for yourself, Thanking you in advance, Remus Lupin

11-18-2005, 08:03 PM	#98
Lord Choc Obo Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 101	rohirrim, keep to the thread ____ ____ ____ ____ dearest harry, I'm very sorry for the death of your parents, why don't you come and meet me and He who must not be named for a cup of coffee??? that way it's easier for us to kill you, we will in the end anyway, no need in running and hiding you know. deadly yours snape ____ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ good snape, remember me? it's Slughorn, your favorite potions teacher. how have you been doing? still not up to my league now are you??? never mind that, I was wondering if you would cut up a few carrots for me, thank you. Slughorn