Ask Snape Column - Page 2

Lostyia Delr-Padroot · 12-02-2004, 05:17 PM

i acedently retyped something so i got rid of the bad one.

Lostyia Delr-Padroot · 12-02-2004, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manveru

Moony,
Snape,
How do you type with boxing gloves on.. uh.. i mean oh crap!
fhqwgads

________________________________
www.homestarrunner.com

Dear Fred and George,
do not waist my time on petty questions! 50 points from Gryffindor!
-snape
---------------------------------
---------------------------------

dear mr. snape,
i got confused during your lecture and scewd up the potion. could you help me?
-neville

Telcontar_Dunedain · 12-02-2004, 05:23 PM

Neville
No
Snape

Snape
Potter assaination has been schedueled for february 4th. Can you do it?
Voldemort

Lostyia Delr-Padroot · 12-02-2004, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Telcontar_Dunedain

Snape
Potter assaination has been schedueled for february 4th. Can you do it?
Voldemort

voldemort,
you would cost me my opp. for d.d. so no.
snape
---------------------------------------------
dear mr. snape,
POTTER screwd up my potion!
-malfoy

***Tessar*** · 12-02-2004, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Telcontar_Dunedain

Snape
Potter assaination has been schedueled for february 4th. Can you do it?
Voldemort

To: Voldemort@HE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED.org
From: Snape@hogwarts.net
Re: Potter Assasination

Sorry. Have a doctor's appointment.

Love,
Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: Snape@hogwarts.net
From: wandzforcheap@wandz4cheap.net
Re: Wand enhancements

Snape,

Tired of a limp wand? Want a longer wand? Want more satisfaction when doing spells?

Try our wands! They are guaranteed to provide satisfaction! The women will want you, the men will envy you and your wand size!

http://www.wandzforcheap.net

Japp Longwand

Lostyia Delr-Padroot · 12-10-2004, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tessar

To: Voldemort@HE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED.org
From: Snape@hogwarts.net
Re: Potter Assasination

Sorry. Have a doctor's appointment.

Love,
Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: Snape@hogwarts.net
From: wandzforcheap@wandz4cheap.net
Re: Wand enhancements

Snape,

Tired of a limp wand? Want a longer wand? Want more satisfaction when doing spells?

Try our wands! They are guaranteed to provide satisfaction! The women will want you, the men will envy you and your wand size!

http://www.wandzforcheap.net

Japp Longwand

japp longwand,
take me off your mailing list.

not truly yours snape
-------------------

dear snape,

i learned recently that there was trouble in your class considering mrs hermonie granger and my son. have it fixed promptly.
your friend lucious(sp) malfoy

Manveru · 12-10-2004, 06:38 PM

dear lucius,
don't worry i'm planning to have that mud-blood mysteriously 'disappear', and by 'disappear' i mean 'never to be seen by mortals again' and by 'never to be seen by mortals again' i mean 'no one will see her ever' and by 'no one will see her ever' i mean i'm going to kill her. she'd be dead already if that basilisk didn't kill her a couple years back. Well when you want things done right you gotta do them yourself i guess.
Severus

_________________________________

Dear Snape,
What do you want for Christmas this year?
-Santa

Elemmírë · 12-10-2004, 07:12 PM

"Santa",
Another of your lame jokes and you will be expelled. If you insist upon continuing with these antics, try a more imaginative name next time.
Snape

_____________________________

Professor of Potions,
I am writing to inform you that I am the new D.A.D.A professor for this term. I hope that this year at Hogwarts will be a productive one, and am sure that we will all be able to work together to assist the students.
Sincerely,
Your newest professor,
Remus Lupin

PippinTook · 12-13-2004, 11:22 PM

Lupin,
Oh God no.
The most superior and amazingly dashing and so much better than you, Snape

_________________________________

Prof. Snape,
I've got those extremely rare plants for that Nose-shrinking potion you were planning on making, though I don't know if anything will work for that schnoz of yours.
Prof. Sprout

Arcala · 12-14-2004, 05:15 PM

Wouldn't it be fun if we actually wrote about the events of a year in the letters? Like, this could take place during Book 5 or something. Just an idea.

Prof. Sprout,

I will need the plants by next Wednesday, and keep your thoughts about my "schnoz" to yourself, IF you please.

Snape

*******
Snapey-poo,

Wanna go on a -broomstick ride- tomorrow?

Your Very Secret Admirer

Minielin · 01-02-2005, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arcala

Snapey-poo,

Wanna go on a -broomstick ride- tomorrow?

Your Very Secret Admirer

Fred and George:
20 points from Gryffindor. Further suggestions of this variety will be responded to with immediate confiscation and incineration of said broomsticks.
Professor Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snivellus:
Make one more dog joke and I'll patent the grease from your face as being a highly efficient wart remover.
Sirius

Mercutio · 01-08-2005, 10:20 PM

Dear Professor Snape,

Ever since I saw your lookalike in Jane Austen's "Sense & Sensibility," I can't imagine anything but wonderful, brilliant, sorrythatmariannedidntloveyouatfirst, willoughbyisajerk, you'remyhero thoughts when I see you. Do you think I have an obsession? Does this offend you?

until next time, dearest,
P.W.

dawningoftime · 01-17-2005, 07:42 PM

Dear P.W.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Professor Snape

Lostyia Delr-Padroot · 01-26-2005, 04:54 PM

dear Professor Snape,

Guess who?
bet you don't know!!
hehehe.
what will happen if i spill a really bad smelling potion in your room?????

-your freindly ghost "headless nick"

hehe

Master'sBaneSwiftSnowmane · 01-26-2005, 11:20 PM

Dear NEARLY Headless,
I would sick the bloddy baron after your not quit solid butt.
Severus.

Prof. Snape
Once I've taken over this school prof. you will be the new DATDA teacher. Count on it. By the by...that Verataseruim that I tried to use on Potter didn't work. Are you slacking on your potion making skills? Must I turn in to Fudge before you even get promoted?
Love,
Umbridge

Minielin · 01-26-2005, 11:43 PM

Professor Umbridge:
Clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop...
-Snape

Manveru · 01-27-2005, 06:33 PM

Dear Professor Snapey,
why don't you go see what's in your cupboard?
Peeves

Master'sBaneSwiftSnowmane · 01-27-2005, 11:39 PM

Peeves,
I thought I changed my address you idiot thing that isn't even a ghost. Guess I'll have to do better next time. Or I could just sick the Bloddy Baron on your tail. I'm sure that'll shut you up.

Prof. Snape,
I did that assignment you on werewovles that you asked for. It's 40 rolls of parchment longer than you requested though, do I get extra credit? Also, Prof. Lupin said we didn't have to do it, I still want credit. Will you make him give me credit? I know how much you like to boss and I hope you'll do it even though I'm not your favorite student.
Sincerly,
Hermione

Elanor the hobbit · 02-10-2005, 12:52 PM

Miss Granger,
I am not responsible for your attempts to show off what an insufferable know-it-all you are. Go back to your muggle parents and ask for credit.
Professor Snape

Dear Professor Snape,
My best friend is so annoying. She won't stop talking about this guy she likes, and how he has the most adorable Irish accent, and she's driving me insane! Please tell me what to do!
DivintnGurrl

The Wizard from Milan · 02-10-2005, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elanor the hobbit

Dear Professor Snape,
My best friend is so annoying. She won't stop talking about this guy she likes, and how he has the most adorable Irish accent, and she's driving me insane! Please tell me what to do!
DivintnGurrl

Fifty points from your house, Ms. DivintnGurrl (unless your house is Slytherin) and 50 from your ninnyhammer friend (unless she is in Griffindor, in which case it is 100). And if your breath stopped stinking like bulbotuber puss you would have boyfriend too.
Prof. Snape

__________________________________________________ _____________

Dear Prof. Snape, Sir,
Harry Potter has been putting bat-guano in your pensieve.
Yours in truth,
Draco Malfoy

12-02-2004, 05:17 PM	#21
Lostyia Delr-Padroot Enting Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: on this little place called earth or is it middle earth Posts: 92	i acedently retyped something so i got rid of the bad one. __________________ well pickles. hahahahahahahahahahaha bears i love mystical creatures. emokid, i.d. selling -metophysically she raises her wooden flute to spite pavhowlh. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...e/612f359b.jpg visit my site at http://cr8tivmind.proboards44.com/ Last edited by Lostyia Delr-Padroot : 12-02-2004 at 05:25 PM. Reason: sorry i messed up

12-02-2004, 05:23 PM	#23
Telcontar_Dunedain Warrior of the House of Hador Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 4,651	Neville No Snape Snape Potter assaination has been schedueled for february 4th. Can you do it? Voldemort __________________ Then Huor spoke and said: "Yet if it stands but a little while, then out of your house shall come the hope of Elves and Men. This I say to you, lord, with the eyes of death: though we part here for ever, and I shall not look on your white walls again, from you and me a new star shall arise. Farewell!" The Silmarillion, Nirnaeth Arnoediad, Page 230

12-10-2004, 06:38 PM	#27
Manveru Elven Warrior Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 256	dear lucius, don't worry i'm planning to have that mud-blood mysteriously 'disappear', and by 'disappear' i mean 'never to be seen by mortals again' and by 'never to be seen by mortals again' i mean 'no one will see her ever' and by 'no one will see her ever' i mean i'm going to kill her. she'd be dead already if that basilisk didn't kill her a couple years back. Well when you want things done right you gotta do them yourself i guess. Severus _________________________________ Dear Snape, What do you want for Christmas this year? -Santa __________________ Earendel arose where the shadow flows At Ocean's silent brim; Through the mouth of night as a ray of light Where the shores are sheer and dim He launched his bark like a silver spark From the last and lonely sand; Then on sunlit breath of day's fiery death He sailed from Westerland

12-10-2004, 07:12 PM	#28
Elemmírë avocatus diaboli Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Himring Posts: 1,582	"Santa", Another of your lame jokes and you will be expelled. If you insist upon continuing with these antics, try a more imaginative name next time. Snape _____________________________ Professor of Potions, I am writing to inform you that I am the new D.A.D.A professor for this term. I hope that this year at Hogwarts will be a productive one, and am sure that we will all be able to work together to assist the students. Sincerely, Your newest professor, Remus Lupin __________________ ~ I have heard the languages of apocalypse and now I shall embrace the silence ~ Neil Gaiman

12-13-2004, 11:22 PM	#29
PippinTook The Infamous Tea Hobbit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Riding my Attack Llama, CORY! Posts: 1,162	Lupin, Oh God no. The most superior and amazingly dashing and so much better than you, Snape _________________________________ Prof. Snape, I've got those extremely rare plants for that Nose-shrinking potion you were planning on making, though I don't know if anything will work for that schnoz of yours. Prof. Sprout __________________ http://jupiter.walagata.com/w/shanakdakhete/svbf.gif If I can stop one heart from aching, I shall not live in vain. -Emily Dickinson But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd Never can quite understand The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought By the touch of the Master's hand. Though she be but little, she is fierce! -MSND

12-14-2004, 05:15 PM	#30
Arcala Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Eating WAY too much peanut butter... Posts: 274	Wouldn't it be fun if we actually wrote about the events of a year in the letters? Like, this could take place during Book 5 or something. Just an idea. Prof. Sprout, I will need the plants by next Wednesday, and keep your thoughts about my "schnoz" to yourself, IF you please. Snape ******* Snapey-poo, Wanna go on a -broomstick ride- tomorrow? Your Very Secret Admirer __________________ "When I wake up early in the morning Lift my head, I'm still yawning When I'm in the middle of a dream Stay in bed, float up stream (float up stream) Please, don't wake me, no, don't shake me Leave me where I am - I'm only sleeping Everybody seems to think I'm lazy I don't mind, I think they're crazy Running everywhere at such a speed Till they find there's no need (there's no need) Please, don't spoil my day, I'm miles away And after all I'm only sleeping..." -from the Beatles' I'm Only Sleeping

01-08-2005, 10:20 PM	#32
Mercutio Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Narnia Posts: 1,656	Dear Professor Snape, Ever since I saw your lookalike in Jane Austen's "Sense & Sensibility," I can't imagine anything but wonderful, brilliant, sorrythatmariannedidntloveyouatfirst, willoughbyisajerk, you'remyhero thoughts when I see you. Do you think I have an obsession? Does this offend you? until next time, dearest, P.W. __________________ Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?". Interested in C.S. Lewis? Visit the forum dedicated to one of Tolkien's greatest contemporaries. Last edited by Mercutio : 01-09-2005 at 02:46 PM.

01-17-2005, 07:42 PM	#33
dawningoftime Enting Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 90	Dear P.W. I have no idea what you're talking about. Professor Snape __________________ Audio Editor

01-26-2005, 04:54 PM	#34
Lostyia Delr-Padroot Enting Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: on this little place called earth or is it middle earth Posts: 92	dear Professor Snape, Guess who? bet you don't know!! hehehe. what will happen if i spill a really bad smelling potion in your room????? -your freindly ghost "headless nick" hehe __________________ well pickles. hahahahahahahahahahaha bears i love mystical creatures. emokid, i.d. selling -metophysically she raises her wooden flute to spite pavhowlh. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...e/612f359b.jpg visit my site at http://cr8tivmind.proboards44.com/

01-26-2005, 11:20 PM	#35
Master'sBaneSwiftSnowmane Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 103	Dear NEARLY Headless, I would sick the bloddy baron after your not quit solid butt. Severus. Prof. Snape Once I've taken over this school prof. you will be the new DATDA teacher. Count on it. By the by...that Verataseruim that I tried to use on Potter didn't work. Are you slacking on your potion making skills? Must I turn in to Fudge before you even get promoted? Love, Umbridge

01-26-2005, 11:43 PM	#36
Minielin Elven Warrior Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: I dwell in possibility. Posts: 247	Professor Umbridge: Clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop... -Snape __________________ "...then how shall I Revive the dying tones of minstrelsy, Which linger yet about lone gothic arches, In dark green ivy, and among wild larches?" Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum.

01-27-2005, 06:33 PM	#37
Manveru Elven Warrior Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 256	Dear Professor Snapey, why don't you go see what's in your cupboard? Peeves __________________ Earendel arose where the shadow flows At Ocean's silent brim; Through the mouth of night as a ray of light Where the shores are sheer and dim He launched his bark like a silver spark From the last and lonely sand; Then on sunlit breath of day's fiery death He sailed from Westerland

01-27-2005, 11:39 PM	#38
Master'sBaneSwiftSnowmane Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 103	Peeves, I thought I changed my address you idiot thing that isn't even a ghost. Guess I'll have to do better next time. Or I could just sick the Bloddy Baron on your tail. I'm sure that'll shut you up. Prof. Snape, I did that assignment you on werewovles that you asked for. It's 40 rolls of parchment longer than you requested though, do I get extra credit? Also, Prof. Lupin said we didn't have to do it, I still want credit. Will you make him give me credit? I know how much you like to boss and I hope you'll do it even though I'm not your favorite student. Sincerly, Hermione

02-10-2005, 12:52 PM	#39
Elanor the hobbit Sapling Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: hobbit hole Posts: 12	Miss Granger, I am not responsible for your attempts to show off what an insufferable know-it-all you are. Go back to your muggle parents and ask for credit. Professor Snape Dear Professor Snape, My best friend is so annoying. She won't stop talking about this guy she likes, and how he has the most adorable Irish accent, and she's driving me insane! Please tell me what to do! DivintnGurrl __________________ Elanor the friendly hobbit who draws cool mazes: Segovia Mazes

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