P.C./ Multi-ethnic FOTR

afro-elf · 02-07-2002, 06:56 PM

If the FOTR had to be recast ONLY with minorities who would you cast as who?

Hobbits

Pippin and Merry Chris Tucker and Chris Rock

Frodo Ricky Martin they are about the same height and the girls think he is so cute.

Sam Eddie Murphy as one of the Klumps

Humans

Aragorn Denzel Washington noble type

Boromir Wesley Snipes he's a bad ass

Elves

Arwen Roselyn sanchez the girl form rush hour 2

I thought Jennifer Lopez but her ethnic bum and build make a better canidate for Eowyn. ( but this only for FOTR)

Galadriel Michele Yeoh

Elrond Chow Yun Fat

Legolas Enrique Igelsias (sp?) Legolas is the son of the King of Mirkwood Enrique is the son of the King of Latin crooners

Dwarves

Michael Dorn dwarves are short klingons anyway

Wayfarer · 02-07-2002, 07:05 PM

heheh. that's pretty funny, afro elf.

I wonder what they would do to the actual plot and text in order to make it 'pc'.

Or worse yet, if the characters in the book had acted under the watchful eye of the ACLU. ]: ) Scary thought!

afro-elf · 02-07-2002, 07:57 PM

There would be no hobbits or dwarves because it would be insensitive to short people.

No Smoking.

The Nazgul would walk and no bill the pony as not to make people think that animals art our servants.

Elves would be fat so as not to re-enforce negative body images on teenage girls. Or to have more alternate bodies images in movie as positive.

afro-elf · 02-07-2002, 08:05 PM

Oh yeah,

There would be no violent conflicts. The characters would just talk their way out of confrontations.

Twilight · 02-07-2002, 08:08 PM

That would be a way to bet Bombadil back into the movie. I shutter to think what they would do with him though.

afro-elf · 02-07-2002, 08:21 PM

Think of the way he is dressed.

He would be gay and goldberry would be gold fairy his same sex marriage partner.

Twilight · 02-07-2002, 08:27 PM

I was thinking the same thing, but I desided to let somebody else say itl

jerseydevil · 02-08-2002, 01:21 AM

Afro-Elf that is too funny.

The only thing that is sad is that you're right about what would happen if it was made PC and under the 'watchful eyes of the ACLU" as Wayfarer said.

aldesign · 02-08-2002, 06:50 PM

Gandalf = Laurence Fishbourne (matrix)
Aragorn = Jackie Chang (rush hour)
Arwen = Aaliyah (Romeo Must Die)
Boromir = Jet Li (Romeo Must Die)
Gimili = Ice Cube (Three Kings)
Eowyn = Lucy Lui (Charlies Angels)

aldesign · 02-08-2002, 07:18 PM

wooohooo sorted out my Avatar

VINCE *bang bang*

Varda-Me · 02-09-2002, 02:10 AM

Afro-Elf:

Love your sense of humor!

Sakata · 02-09-2002, 02:54 AM

Excatly why the truth isnt always pc.

hehe, I doubt they would have Tom B. telling the hobbits to take off their clothes and run naked in the grass

Hehe they could have Frodo as a chinese girl in a wheelchair LOL, reminds me of those stupid spanish videos we have to watch. Eowyn would be overcoming her breast cancer battle to talk the nazgul king out of killing people and then turning lez once Aragorn rejected her... I shudder to think, I will have nightmares tonight! almost as bad as having Arwen and Eowyn wresling in jello for Aragorns heart...

Sakata · 02-09-2002, 03:19 AM

what thread was that in anyway, I dont know how the conversation turned to Arwen and Eowyn wrestling in jello, but I would like to read it again, anyone remeber what the thread name was? I cant find it

luinilwen · 02-09-2002, 06:13 AM

*lol* methinks there ought to be more female presence in the movie. hasn't theoden even heard of equal employment opportunity? why get the best man for the job when you could have a WOMAN!!! buuuut thinking like that is what got liv tyler a part in the helm's deep battle

*still furious about that!!!*

haha had a thought - instead of rohirrim, why not just have amazonians??? and instead of hobbits being halflings, why not use actual children??? and the nazgul can have motorised wheelchairs instead of black steeds

Quote:

'Alas!' he cried. 'It was this accursed walking frame that gave the wound. Few now have the skill in healing to match such evil weapons. But I will do what I can.'

Arathorn · 02-09-2002, 12:20 PM

OK. How about...

Don King - The Hair of Sauron
Mike Tyson - The Morgul King (but Frodo gets bitten instead of stabbed)

Each race will be represented by all the real races (african, asian, malay, indian, caucasian, did i miss any?)and will be distinguished by the clothes they wear.

The narrator will make the most money because she'll be needed to disclaim a lot of things about the plot and characters.

Gandalf convinces the balrog to turn from evil and they both die trying to stop the orcs from pursuing the fellowship. They cry during their last moments.

Lurtz will become a member of the fellowship after he is shown the phial of Galadriel. He joins Aragorn in mourning Boromir's death and swears to pay for his "mistake".

Bill will still be there but he has Shadowfax's temperament (he only "allows" you to ride him or to make him carry things).

afro-elf · 02-13-2002, 03:59 AM

Well, least we forget Ian McKellan IS gay.

mirrille · 02-28-2002, 01:47 AM

I just watched the movie "Chungking Express" and I am convinced now that the singer Faye Wong would make a perfect elf. I just wouldn't know where to put her in the movie, because she's too cool to be Arwen.
She's got a pixie-looking face, magnetic eyes and is very beautiful. She's tall enough, thin enough. And she's got that crystal clear singing voice that can be used for singing haunting elf-songs.

emplynx · 02-28-2002, 08:41 AM

Saruman would get sued for not hiring any hobbits for his orc army.

Wayfarer · 02-28-2002, 09:51 PM

Lol!

Actually, what I meant was, what if the 'White council' had been like the aclu? In middle earth. ]: )

I.E. Gandalf trying to hit elrond with racial guilt. Saruman putting 'affirmative action' into practice with his minions (every work gang must be 40% snaga, 30% dunlendings, 20% half orc and 10% uruk). Attempts to legislate away the balrog and food hand-outs in moria. Equal opporotunity employment among the rohirrim. (hmmm...that wouldn't be so bad)

Oh yeah, sauron is no longer referred to as 'dark' (he's "Angband-Valarin") or 'evil' (he's been abused by the imperielist west).

]: )

afro-elf · 03-02-2002, 07:50 AM

Wayfarer you are the lord of sick wit.

02-07-2002, 06:56 PM	#1
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	P.C./ Multi-ethnic FOTR If the FOTR had to be recast ONLY with minorities who would you cast as who? Hobbits Pippin and Merry Chris Tucker and Chris Rock Frodo Ricky Martin they are about the same height and the girls think he is so cute. Sam Eddie Murphy as one of the Klumps Humans Aragorn Denzel Washington noble type Boromir Wesley Snipes he's a bad ass Elves Arwen Roselyn sanchez the girl form rush hour 2 I thought Jennifer Lopez but her ethnic bum and build make a better canidate for Eowyn. ( but this only for FOTR) Galadriel Michele Yeoh Elrond Chow Yun Fat Legolas Enrique Igelsias (sp?) Legolas is the son of the King of Mirkwood Enrique is the son of the King of Latin crooners Dwarves Michael Dorn dwarves are short klingons anyway __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. Last edited by afro-elf : 02-07-2002 at 07:01 PM.

02-07-2002, 07:05 PM	#2
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	heheh. that's pretty funny, afro elf. I wonder what they would do to the actual plot and text in order to make it 'pc'. Or worse yet, if the characters in the book had acted under the watchful eye of the ACLU. ]: ) Scary thought! __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned

02-07-2002, 07:57 PM	#3
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	There would be no hobbits or dwarves because it would be insensitive to short people. No Smoking. The Nazgul would walk and no bill the pony as not to make people think that animals art our servants. Elves would be fat so as not to re-enforce negative body images on teenage girls. Or to have more alternate bodies images in movie as positive. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. Last edited by afro-elf : 02-07-2002 at 08:03 PM.

02-07-2002, 08:05 PM	#4
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	Oh yeah, There would be no violent conflicts. The characters would just talk their way out of confrontations. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

02-07-2002, 08:08 PM	#5
Twilight Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wilmore, KY Posts: 269	That would be a way to bet Bombadil back into the movie. I shutter to think what they would do with him though. __________________ Sometimes I wonder how many monkeys with typewritters it would take to reproduce what I just wrote.

02-07-2002, 08:21 PM	#6
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	Think of the way he is dressed. He would be gay and goldberry would be gold fairy his same sex marriage partner. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

02-07-2002, 08:27 PM	#7
Twilight Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wilmore, KY Posts: 269	I was thinking the same thing, but I desided to let somebody else say itl __________________ Sometimes I wonder how many monkeys with typewritters it would take to reproduce what I just wrote.

02-08-2002, 01:21 AM	#8
jerseydevil I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Plainsboro, NJ Posts: 9,431	Afro-Elf that is too funny. The only thing that is sad is that you're right about what would happen if it was made PC and under the 'watchful eyes of the ACLU" as Wayfarer said. __________________ Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

02-08-2002, 06:50 PM	#9
aldesign Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Uk Posts: 447	Gandalf = Laurence Fishbourne (matrix) Aragorn = Jackie Chang (rush hour) Arwen = Aaliyah (Romeo Must Die) Boromir = Jet Li (Romeo Must Die) Gimili = Ice Cube (Three Kings) Eowyn = Lucy Lui (Charlies Angels)

02-08-2002, 07:18 PM	#10
aldesign Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Uk Posts: 447	wooohooo sorted out my Avatar VINCE bang bang

02-09-2002, 02:10 AM	#11
Varda-Me Hobbit Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 40	Afro-Elf: Love your sense of humor!

02-09-2002, 02:54 AM	#12
Sakata Elven Warrior Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Lothlorien Posts: 216	Excatly why the truth isnt always pc. hehe, I doubt they would have Tom B. telling the hobbits to take off their clothes and run naked in the grass Hehe they could have Frodo as a chinese girl in a wheelchair LOL, reminds me of those stupid spanish videos we have to watch. Eowyn would be overcoming her breast cancer battle to talk the nazgul king out of killing people and then turning lez once Aragorn rejected her... I shudder to think, I will have nightmares tonight! almost as bad as having Arwen and Eowyn wresling in jello for Aragorns heart... __________________ "When evil people come to destroy me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will know no fear." -Psalms 27:2-3 -Dare you venture into Gollum's Lair? JESUS LIVES!

02-09-2002, 03:19 AM	#13
Sakata Elven Warrior Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Lothlorien Posts: 216	what thread was that in anyway, I dont know how the conversation turned to Arwen and Eowyn wrestling in jello, but I would like to read it again, anyone remeber what the thread name was? I cant find it __________________ "When evil people come to destroy me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will know no fear." -Psalms 27:2-3 -Dare you venture into Gollum's Lair? JESUS LIVES!

02-09-2002, 12:20 PM	#15
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	OK. How about... Don King - The Hair of Sauron Mike Tyson - The Morgul King (but Frodo gets bitten instead of stabbed) Each race will be represented by all the real races (african, asian, malay, indian, caucasian, did i miss any?)and will be distinguished by the clothes they wear. The narrator will make the most money because she'll be needed to disclaim a lot of things about the plot and characters. Gandalf convinces the balrog to turn from evil and they both die trying to stop the orcs from pursuing the fellowship. They cry during their last moments. Lurtz will become a member of the fellowship after he is shown the phial of Galadriel. He joins Aragorn in mourning Boromir's death and swears to pay for his "mistake". Bill will still be there but he has Shadowfax's temperament (he only "allows" you to ride him or to make him carry things). __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

02-13-2002, 03:59 AM	#16
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	Well, least we forget Ian McKellan IS gay. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

02-28-2002, 01:47 AM	#17
mirrille Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Canada Posts: 479	I just watched the movie "Chungking Express" and I am convinced now that the singer Faye Wong would make a perfect elf. I just wouldn't know where to put her in the movie, because she's too cool to be Arwen. She's got a pixie-looking face, magnetic eyes and is very beautiful. She's tall enough, thin enough. And she's got that crystal clear singing voice that can be used for singing haunting elf-songs.

02-28-2002, 08:41 AM	#18
emplynx Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,214	Saruman would get sued for not hiring any hobbits for his orc army.

02-28-2002, 09:51 PM	#19
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	Lol! Actually, what I meant was, what if the 'White council' had been like the aclu? In middle earth. ]: ) I.E. Gandalf trying to hit elrond with racial guilt. Saruman putting 'affirmative action' into practice with his minions (every work gang must be 40% snaga, 30% dunlendings, 20% half orc and 10% uruk). Attempts to legislate away the balrog and food hand-outs in moria. Equal opporotunity employment among the rohirrim. (hmmm...that wouldn't be so bad) Oh yeah, sauron is no longer referred to as 'dark' (he's "Angband-Valarin") or 'evil' (he's been abused by the imperielist west). ]: ) __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned

03-02-2002, 07:50 AM	#20
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	Wayfarer you are the lord of sick wit. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

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