02-07-2002, 06:56 PM | #1 |
Hoplite Nomad
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P.C./ Multi-ethnic FOTR
If the FOTR had to be recast ONLY with minorities who would you cast as who?
Hobbits Pippin and Merry Chris Tucker and Chris Rock Frodo Ricky Martin they are about the same height and the girls think he is so cute. Sam Eddie Murphy as one of the Klumps Humans Aragorn Denzel Washington noble type Boromir Wesley Snipes he's a bad ass Elves Arwen Roselyn sanchez the girl form rush hour 2 I thought Jennifer Lopez but her ethnic bum and build make a better canidate for Eowyn. ( but this only for FOTR) Galadriel Michele Yeoh Elrond Chow Yun Fat Legolas Enrique Igelsias (sp?) Legolas is the son of the King of Mirkwood Enrique is the son of the King of Latin crooners Dwarves Michael Dorn dwarves are short klingons anyway
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. Last edited by afro-elf : 02-07-2002 at 07:01 PM. |
02-07-2002, 07:05 PM | #2 |
The Insufferable
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heheh. that's pretty funny, afro elf.
I wonder what they would do to the actual plot and text in order to make it 'pc'. Or worse yet, if the characters in the book had acted under the watchful eye of the ACLU. ]: ) Scary thought!
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02-07-2002, 07:57 PM | #3 |
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There would be no hobbits or dwarves because it would be insensitive to short people.
No Smoking. The Nazgul would walk and no bill the pony as not to make people think that animals art our servants. Elves would be fat so as not to re-enforce negative body images on teenage girls. Or to have more alternate bodies images in movie as positive.
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. Last edited by afro-elf : 02-07-2002 at 08:03 PM. |
02-07-2002, 08:05 PM | #4 |
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Oh yeah,
There would be no violent conflicts. The characters would just talk their way out of confrontations.
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
02-07-2002, 08:08 PM | #5 |
Elven Warrior
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That would be a way to bet Bombadil back into the movie. I shutter to think what they would do with him though.
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02-07-2002, 08:21 PM | #6 |
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Think of the way he is dressed.
He would be gay and goldberry would be gold fairy his same sex marriage partner.
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
02-07-2002, 08:27 PM | #7 |
Elven Warrior
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I was thinking the same thing, but I desided to let somebody else say itl
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02-08-2002, 01:21 AM | #8 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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Afro-Elf that is too funny.
The only thing that is sad is that you're right about what would happen if it was made PC and under the 'watchful eyes of the ACLU" as Wayfarer said.
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02-08-2002, 06:50 PM | #9 |
Elven Warrior
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Gandalf = Laurence Fishbourne (matrix)
Aragorn = Jackie Chang (rush hour) Arwen = Aaliyah (Romeo Must Die) Boromir = Jet Li (Romeo Must Die) Gimili = Ice Cube (Three Kings) Eowyn = Lucy Lui (Charlies Angels) |
02-08-2002, 07:18 PM | #10 |
Elven Warrior
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wooohooo sorted out my Avatar
VINCE *bang bang* |
02-09-2002, 02:10 AM | #11 |
Hobbit
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Afro-Elf:
Love your sense of humor! |
02-09-2002, 02:54 AM | #12 |
Elven Warrior
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Excatly why the truth isnt always pc.
hehe, I doubt they would have Tom B. telling the hobbits to take off their clothes and run naked in the grass Hehe they could have Frodo as a chinese girl in a wheelchair LOL, reminds me of those stupid spanish videos we have to watch. Eowyn would be overcoming her breast cancer battle to talk the nazgul king out of killing people and then turning lez once Aragorn rejected her... I shudder to think, I will have nightmares tonight! almost as bad as having Arwen and Eowyn wresling in jello for Aragorns heart...
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02-09-2002, 03:19 AM | #13 |
Elven Warrior
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what thread was that in anyway, I dont know how the conversation turned to Arwen and Eowyn wrestling in jello, but I would like to read it again, anyone remeber what the thread name was? I cant find it
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"When evil people come to destroy me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will know no fear." -Psalms 27:2-3 -Dare you venture into Gollum's Lair? JESUS LIVES! |
02-09-2002, 06:13 AM | #14 | |
Elven Warrior
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*lol* methinks there ought to be more female presence in the movie. hasn't theoden even heard of equal employment opportunity? why get the best man for the job when you could have a WOMAN!!! buuuut thinking like that is what got liv tyler a part in the helm's deep battle *still furious about that!!!*
haha had a thought - instead of rohirrim, why not just have amazonians??? and instead of hobbits being halflings, why not use actual children??? and the nazgul can have motorised wheelchairs instead of black steeds Quote:
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02-09-2002, 12:20 PM | #15 |
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OK. How about...
Don King - The Hair of Sauron Mike Tyson - The Morgul King (but Frodo gets bitten instead of stabbed) Each race will be represented by all the real races (african, asian, malay, indian, caucasian, did i miss any?)and will be distinguished by the clothes they wear. The narrator will make the most money because she'll be needed to disclaim a lot of things about the plot and characters. Gandalf convinces the balrog to turn from evil and they both die trying to stop the orcs from pursuing the fellowship. They cry during their last moments. Lurtz will become a member of the fellowship after he is shown the phial of Galadriel. He joins Aragorn in mourning Boromir's death and swears to pay for his "mistake". Bill will still be there but he has Shadowfax's temperament (he only "allows" you to ride him or to make him carry things).
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02-13-2002, 03:59 AM | #16 |
Hoplite Nomad
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Well, least we forget Ian McKellan IS gay.
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
02-28-2002, 01:47 AM | #17 |
Elven Warrior
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I just watched the movie "Chungking Express" and I am convinced now that the singer Faye Wong would make a perfect elf. I just wouldn't know where to put her in the movie, because she's too cool to be Arwen.
She's got a pixie-looking face, magnetic eyes and is very beautiful. She's tall enough, thin enough. And she's got that crystal clear singing voice that can be used for singing haunting elf-songs. |
02-28-2002, 08:41 AM | #18 |
Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages
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Saruman would get sued for not hiring any hobbits for his orc army.
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02-28-2002, 09:51 PM | #19 |
The Insufferable
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Lol!
Actually, what I meant was, what if the 'White council' had been like the aclu? In middle earth. ]: ) I.E. Gandalf trying to hit elrond with racial guilt. Saruman putting 'affirmative action' into practice with his minions (every work gang must be 40% snaga, 30% dunlendings, 20% half orc and 10% uruk). Attempts to legislate away the balrog and food hand-outs in moria. Equal opporotunity employment among the rohirrim. (hmmm...that wouldn't be so bad) Oh yeah, sauron is no longer referred to as 'dark' (he's "Angband-Valarin") or 'evil' (he's been abused by the imperielist west). ]: )
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03-02-2002, 07:50 AM | #20 |
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Wayfarer you are the lord of sick wit.
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
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