Ice Village, chapter two: Chaos Fire

[Tessar]

All right, I'm back and I've got more Ice village for you all who wanted to read it! Don't worry, the first chapter was the longest, and most are three to four pages now. Personally I'm enjoying how this story is turning out, and I hope you all will too!

I'm well aware that there are still some problems with it, so please tear into it all you like. I'm not 'attached' to how it's written now, and I like a mix of attack and praise .

Remember, if there is anything you don't understand, just ask and I'll be more than happy to expound .

Chapter Two

The sun rose wearily over the icy mountaintops, as if too tired to do more than add light. Whether the sun was truly weary or not, it certainly brought no warmth to the frozen land as it climbed higher over the mountains, almost banishing shadow to a memory... But not quite.

The first thing Danlor sensed was the darkness. Whatever the shadow last night had been, it was back. Not directly on top of him, but too near for comfort… Far too close to simply be lurking around the mountains… It was waiting for night to come again.

Letting his eyes open slowly, Danlor blinked at the brightness of the sun reflected off the pure white snow. Sitting up, he shook his head and rubbed bleary eyes. One hand instinctively checked for his sword while the other took over the job of rubbing both eyes at once. His sword was still there, and as Danlor removed his hand from his eyes he saw that everything was as it had been the night before. A warm blast of air on the back of his neck told Danlor that his san’dar was still there, and about ready to eat Danlor if nothing else was forth coming with great speed.

Pushing himself ungracefully to his feet, Danlor staggered to the vicious animal and, after steadying himself, began checking it for any injuries from last night’s battle. There were few things crankier than a hungry san’dar, one of those few things being a hurt san’dar. And a san’dar that was both hurt and hungry at the same time generally meant some one or other was going to get bitten. Seeing how Danlor was the only someone-or-other around, he wasn’t at all surprised when the blasted animal did indeed bite him. Hard.

Muttering things that would surely have made the san’dar blush if it had understood him, Danlor awkwardly shrugged his cloak off and struggled a bit to get his vest off. Wrapping the vest around his bitten arm, Danlor hurriedly bent and pulled his cloak back on to guard against the icy wind that had sprung up.

“Next time I tell you I’m going somewhere cold, do me a favor and bite my arm just like that.” Danlor said with a heavy sigh and tied off the vest to hold it in place.

With a blink of surprise, Danlor turned and looked at his san’dar more clearly. Was that Power forsaken animal nodding its head? No… it was just his… Yes. The bloody lizard was nodding its head. Probably because it had a bit of Danlor’s sleeve caught in its mouth, but still…

“Hunt!” Danlor snapped the command, catching the san’dar’s attention. Very few san’dar wouldn’t listen to that command. It meant that the animal was free to run about and find its own food for a while, although it was doubtful that the lizard would find much up here. Danlor really should have brought a kaddar… or at least a horse.

As the san’dar trotted off, snapping at the falling snowflakes in an attempt to make them go away and make sure they knew who was boss, Danlor turned back towards the village and began jogging downhill in its general direction. At the most Danlor estimated it must be five miles or more to the little town, and it would probably take him an hour or more to reach it if he could keep his jog up.

“Keeps the weight off.” Danlor huffed to reassure himself almost thirty minutes later. He wasn’t actually breathing hard at all, but he definitely wasn’t in the same shape he had been when he first left the academy. Of course he hadn’t actually been running through the snow the last time he had run five miles, but at least thinking about how out of shape he must be made the time pass quicker.

Only about a mile or so away from the town, something began nagging Danlor’s mind about the area. It looked the same as yesterday, and it felt the same. In fact nothing had changed, and that was a problem.

[Tessar]

Danlor came to a sudden halt and stood stock still, breathing somewhat heavily and narrowing his gaze on the little town. There had been no lights in any windows last night; there had been no people running about, no animals or children playing. There wasn’t even the sound of an ice cow’s lowing on the still air. Nothing to break the perfect silence except Danlor’s own breathing and the beat of his heart.

“Powers… Please no…” Danlor breathed, as a cold hand seemed to clutch his soul. He noticed for the first time that what had appeared to be a mound of snow outside the gates was now very clearly something else. Many something’s.

Focusing his will, Danlor began running again. He was running much faster now, although not directly any harder. The last mile was covered very swiftly and as Danlor drew in close to the mound and the village gates he saw for sure that the mound of snow was indeed what he had prayed it would not be. The mound was made of bones, many of them melted slightly.

Chaos.

The word echoed hollowly through Danlor’s mind as he again halted. The only thing he could think of that would melt bones like that and yet leave them white, was Chaos Fire. And only the Wielders of Chaos would want to do a thing like this. The feeling of the shadow was very strong here, and it matched in Danlor’s mind with the feeling of Chaos. The shadow was directly related to whatever had happened here.

And Danlor did know the feeling of Chaos very well. Two of his class mates at the Academy had turned to Chaos when they failed the final test to become Psionics, and Danlor had hunted them both down and eventually killed them, although it nearly cost him his life both times. But there was not the moment to remember those two runts, time only to see what must be done.

With his mind Danlor reached out to the village and searched for the spirits of the villagers, hoping they would tell him what had happened. Images flickered in front of Danlor’s eyes as the souls answered his call.
Six men approaching the village, all of them surrounded by dark auras that almost appeared to be black fire *flicker* a green and black fireball leapt from one of the men and struck down a fleeing villager, burning through the cloaked figure and slowly cooking them *flicker* pain *flicker* death *flicker*.

A vein in Danlor’s forehead began pulsing and his jaw clenched as tears of rage poured down his face. More images flashed in his vision, each one more terrible than the last. Considering how quickly they had answered, these spirits were ‘freshly dead’ as some of the more morbid people liked to say. Maybe they had only died a week or two ago.

Focusing for a moment, Danlor linked and suddenly the blue aura surrounded him again, an aura of light, but not of peace.

Danlor jumped up and forward, easily clearing the village wall and landing on the other side. He dropped into a crouch and let a hand rest on his sword as a voice assailed his ears. It was a mocking voice, and it had a rasping undertone.

“We’re waiting, MASTER Avindar. Come to us if you dare show your face to the Bringers of Chaos.”

“I did not know, that the fools who command that power had so many names.” Danlor’s voice was thick with rage and boomed hollowly through the empty town.

The village looked normal enough as Danlor sprinted down street after street. A very closed and empty town, but with no signs of a massacre or anything else at all. Not even a broken window. But that mattered nothing to Danlor as he continued searching out the voices that suddenly sprang up with the first one. What they said meant little to Danlor, just so long as he could find them.

Rounding a last corner, Danlor saw his opponents. Four Chaos Wielders, with their dark flame auras surrounding them, stood in what appeared to be the center of a square. A woman was huddled in the snow in front of them and looked both angry and afraid all together, although she quickly moved for cover when Danlor appeared.

“I am Danlor Avindar, Master Psionic. Run and I will hunt you, die now and your death will be easy.” Danlor’s sword flew from its scabbard and a clear ringing tone marked both its drawing and his words. The blue glow flowed down the sword blade as it had the night before, but it didn’t stop there. The glow gathered and pulsated twice before a blue beam of light lanced outward as Danlor pointed it at one of the men, striking the target and cutting through even as Chaos Fire flew at Danlor from behind. There were two more who had been hiding it seemed.

With a loud battle roar, Danlor tore into the Chaos Wielders with nothing held back, and his powers brought fully into play.

[Arat-Falathion]

ajajaj! Will have to read this when I get the time Finally!!

[Arat-Falathion]

Ahh You please me once more Tessar

I have no time now to go into any specific detail of critisism, you write well and fill up the lines with little nice details that keep hold of my interest in the story. I will read chapter 1 and 2 tomorrow... I am curious to see if you have gotten any true "characterism" into your characters behaviour yet... clearly Danlor Avindar is the most important aspect of the story. Like Salvatore says: The character builds the story, he is an interesting character!

Nice to see you are working Tess! Eager to read next chapter... oh, and do your chapters hold any titles? Always interesting to read those "guidelines" of what the chapter "might" hold...

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Tessar
There were few things crankier than a hungry san’dar, one of those few things being a hurt san’dar. And a san’dar that was both hurt and hungry at the same time generally meant some one or other was going to get bitten. Seeing how Danlor was the only someone-or-other around, he wasn’t at all surprised when the blasted animal did indeed bite him. Hard.

I quite liked this part. I always like it when there are at least some fun parts in an otherwise serious story. It breaks the format a little.

I'm also a little surprised there's still a woman alive though, since the other people of the village died in an interval of one to two weeks as you said.

[Tessar]

Originally posted by Eärniel
I'm also a little surprised there's still a woman alive though, since the other people of the village died in an interval of one to two weeks as you said.

Bahaha... BAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

Oh what fun this is!

[Earniel]

*has a growing feeling she's missing something*

Okay, what's so funny? Did I misread something?

Or should I better shut up before I make a total fool out of myself?

[Tessar]

Oh no, no, no. You aren't a fool...

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

No one will find out for a few more chapters... Ehehehehe...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Earniel]

Oh, you little weasel! You just did that to make me curious about the next chapters, didn't you? Admit it!

[Arat-Falathion]

Tessars main purpose in life, as he sees it himself, is to make people as anxious about something as ever possible. To torture people in curiousness is his very lifebread.

I've come to understand this now

[Lief Erikson]

Lol!

I enjoyed the chapter, Tessar, and am eagerly awaiting the next .

Found the description of the weary sun rather amusing- and a little odd. You might want to change it, to make things make more sense.

At the most Danlor estimated it must be five miles or more to the little town, and it would probably take him an hour or more to reach it if he could keep his jog up.

In this sentence, if I were you, I'd change the "must be five miles or more". Delete the "of more", for you already said that this was supposed to be at most. So if the five miles is at most, then there can't be an of more. If the of more is a part of it, then the "at most" is unclear, as to how much "at most" is.

Anyway . I haven't checked the whole thing for grammar- just mentioning that about that one sentence.