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Old 04-23-2004, 01:34 AM   #1
Katt_knome_hobbit
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New Play- Title and Comments Please

The working title of this play is Brain Pain. I would love suggestions and comments as well.

~~~~~

Scene 1 - A cafe
(Two tables on stage with two chairs at each table. Cassandra sits at B2 bundled up and reading. Gary is at A2 with his jacket on the back of the chair, drinking a coffee. Jake comes in and sits at A1)

GARY: Hey Jake.
JAKE: Hey Gary. (winces and grabs head)
GARY: Jesus, are you still having those migraines?
JAKE: Don’t say Jesus, I’m Catholic.
GARY: Aw hell, in all our years of friendship I have never known you to go to church, and I’ve known you since high school.
JAKE: I can still be offended, so shut up goddamnit. Religion is the only part of my life that’s not attacking me.
GARY: What, is work bad too?
JAKE: Well, it’s work you know? All paper pushing and computers. (winces again) An yes, I am still getting “those migraines.”
GARY: Hey Jake, why don’t you take some time off? Go ask that doctor guy if he’s got anything stronger. I can get you some sick leave--
JAKE: Look, thanks a lot for getting me this job. I needed it. But what I don’t need is a bunch of favors like I’m your charity case.
GARY: Fine, suit yourself. (check’s watch) Lunch break is almost over. (stands up, grabs coat) Sure you won’t just go home?
JAKE: Ha. There’s nothing for me at home except a can of tuna fish.
GARY: Jake, I’m serious. See that doctor guy again. If you don’t come back to work today, it’ll be fine with the company. (leaves)
(Jake winces and takes some medication. Cassandra looks up and glares at him from the next table.)
CASS: You really shouldn’t be taking all those you know.
JAKE: Listen, I’ve got a bad headache, and you don’t need to make it worse.
CASS: Migraines are the product of built up negative energy. What you need is a cleansing ritual.
JAKE: What?
CASS: Something to soothe your sole and mind.
JAKE: (gets up and walks to Cassandra’s table) I’m sorry. I’m Jake. (Holds out hand)
CASS: Cassandra. (Takes hand)
JAKE: (sits down at B1) What was this you were saying about “negative energy” and “cleansing rituals”.
CASS: You obviously aren’t familiar with the Pagan religion. It has to do with all the currents of energy and humans are the rocks that line the river.
JAKE: (thinks this is bogus but says nothing) I see.
CASS: I am like a flat rock in the river of the universe; the currents of energy carve me flat and smooth. Whereas you are like a big boulder sticking out of the water, always fighting the current, but still miserable.
(They make eye contact. There is a definite connection between them. Jake breaks it.)
JAKE: I’ve never liked rivers much.
CASS: It’s metaphorical.
JAKE: Well, I don’t like metaphors either. I’m more technically minded. What about you?
CASS: I’m a college student studying ecology. Somehow, a piece of the 70’s spirit has got stuck in me.
JAKE: (winces) Somehow, a battle axe from the 14th century got stuck in me.
CASS: Hey, one of my classes is acupuncture. I could try some on you.
JAKE: No no, thanks. I have a doctor I go to.
CASS: I heard. (pause) What’s he like?
JAKE: Well, he researches a lot. (pause, Jake rubs a temple) His name is Dr. Ray, if you ever get tired of herbs and candles.
CASS: And if you ever get tired of being pumped with drugs like some fat heifer on the way to the slaughter house, you can call me. (gives Jake her phone #)
JAKE: You get electricity in your witchie cottage? (hands her his phone #)
CASS: Don’t mess with me. And don’t you even say the frog line.
JAKE: Sorry.
CASS: You should be. I’m late for class. Bye.
(Cassandra leaves. Jake has another sip of coffee. He pulls out his meds and defiantly takes another then exits also.)
__________________
How to Survive the Sillmarillion

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do.
I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.
But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between self control and self abuse.


"Lacerations make complications, but welts go away in a day."
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Old 04-23-2004, 01:37 AM   #2
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Scene 2 - Jake’s apartment
(One couch up center stage. Jake comes in and flops down on couch. We hear humming from off stage. Jake winces.)
EVA: (Entering) You never have any decent food in this place. (Sits next to Jake) So, what about that girl you met today, huh? Cassandra the witch? (giggles)
JAKE: Leave me alone.
EVA: Honey, I’m inside you’re head. You’d need brain surgery to get rid of me, and don’t even think for a second that those wimpy little pills the doc gave you will help.
JAKE: (reaching defensively for his pills) I don’t need personified conscious hanging around insulting everything I do. I don’t need you.
EVA: Yes you do. You deserve this, otherwise why would I be here? Hey, you really like that girl don’t you? Her little 70’s crazy thing, and acupuncture needles. I bet you just can’t wait for her to stick some needles in you.
(Jake takes a pill. Eva looks startled, gets up, and walks to stage left muttering. Jake pulls out his cell phone and the number Cassandra gave him. He dials)
EVA: Oh, and now you’re calling that girl. (Girl is said as if it were an insult)
JAKE: Be quiet!
EVA: Ok, fine. (sits down and listens, occasionally laughing at Cassandra)
(Cassandra comes on stage right with a candle and her phone. She kneels stage right and answers the phone)
CASS: Hello?
JAKE: Hey, it’s Jake. We met today.
CASS: Good. I’m glad you called. Tell me, what’s your astrological sign?
JAKE: Sign?
CASS: Or your birth date will do just fine.
JAKE: What are you doing?
CASS: I’m doing a spell to remove your negative energy. It’ll help your migraines, really. Do you know your mothers maiden name?
JAKE: I’m sorry, I don’t. (tries not to laugh) So, you’re really that concerned about me?
CASS: Yeah. I could sense a lifetime of pain from you, and I felt that you should become my project. But the first thing you have to do is stop taking drugs.
JAKE: WHAT?
CASS: Their polluting you’re system. I can’t do anything with all those narcotics disrupting the flow of energy.
JAKE: Oh no. You haven’t seen me when I don’t take my medicine.
EVA: Come on Jake, you don’t need those drugs. I’ve been in your brain. I should know.
JAKE: (Waves Eva off) Really Cassandra, sometimes I actually vomit from the pain.
CASS: Wow, that is serious. I’m going to have to do some research on this. Just promise me one thing.
EVA: Ooh!
JAKE: What?
CASS: Don’t go to any extremes to fix these migraines. I mean, try cutting back on the drugs instead of asking for more. It might help.
JAKE: I promise.
EVA: Liar.
CASS: Great. We should see each other again. I have a break from three thirty to four. The coffee shop? Same as yesterday? Oh! My tofu lasagna is done. Gotta go! (Exits)
(Jake looks at the phone, sighs, and puts it away. Meanwhile, Eva has stood up and is walking back over to Jake laughing.)
EVA: Ah ha! Tofu lasagna! That’s marvelous. At “disrupting the flow of energy” I almost had to grab the phone and hook it up to an electrical current!
JAKE: (Takes another pill)
EVA: Although she was right about all those drugs. If you could see your brain you would never take another pill.
JAKE: Well, since you have seen my brain, why am I always getting migraines?
EVA: How would I know? I know everything you know. Do you know what a healthy brain looks like from the inside? Neither do I. Plus, it’s really dark in there. (cracks up)
JAKE: (stands up) You’re not funny! I have lost the past three jobs because of too much sick leave taken, and then I have to come home to a hallucination of a personification of abuse!
EVA: I am not a personification of abuse! I’m your conscious!
JAKE: Then why don’t you advise me instead of just criticizing my every move?
EVA: I’m here to analyze your mistakes. It’s you who has to learn from them.
JAKE: I don’t need you here! I can analyze my own mistakes! Just leave! I don’t care where you go!
EVA: I’m still part of you!
JAKE: Well I hate that part of me! If I had the chance I would delete you so fast it would short out fifty microchips!
(Phone rings. As Jake picks up, Dr. Ray enters stage left. He has a clipboard)
JAKE: (answers phone) Hello?
RAY: Hey Jake. It’s Dr. Ray.
JAKE: Oh hello. (Calms down) What’s new.
RAY: Have you heard about the new chronic pain treatments I’ve been researching?
JAKE: No, I haven’t seen you in two months.
RAY: Well, I have some new results to tell you about. Come by my lab tomorrow morning. By the end of the day, you could be pain free.
JAKE: Thanks! I’ll see you tomorrow!
(Jake hangs up. Ray exits)
JAKE: There, you see? New treatment. Pain free by tomorrow night.
EVA: You don’t like the looks of this.
JAKE: Nonsense. It sounds wonderful.
EVA: Don’t try and fool me. You are thinking “I wonder what crazy old Ray is up to now?” and you don’t like the answers.
JAKE: Hey, Ray has been a great help in controlling the pain.
EVA: Yeah, but “pain free”? What was that you were saying about deleting parts of yourself earlier? You’d go to any means? Well, it looks like you’ll have a chance to see exactly how far you’re willing to go.
JAKE: It’ll be worth it if he really can make me pain free. I’ll be able to think again, I can get a promotion at work-- (Pause, realization) Work! Oh no, I’ve got to call Gary. (Pulls out cell phone and dials)
EVA: Well just drop all you’re doing and run run run to Doctor Ray’s house of horror! Don’t worry about work, we’re here to fix your brain!
JAKE: (wincing) Just shut up, will you? (Put’s phone to ear)
(Gary runs on from stage right and answers his phone. Gary is impatient. Jake sits down when Gary answers the phone. Eva sits on the edge of the couch.)
GARY: Hello?
JAKE: Hey Gary. It’ Jake. So... how are things?
GARY: Hey Jake! I’m in the middle of a date. Can you speed things up a bit?
JAKE: I was just wondering if I could take tomorrow off work.
GARY: Sure, fine. Take the rest of the week of if you need. You can still get paid. Advance sick leave.
JAKE: Doctor Ray says I might be able to get rid of my migraines forever.
GARY: Great! Is that all? Have fun Jake. Gotta go.
(Gary runs back offstage and Jake flops back on the couch.)
JAKE: (rubs temples) Arr......
EVA: (flops down almost on top of Jake) Well I know I’m exhausted. Gotta get some sleep, huh? Big day tomorrow?
JAKE: Yeah. (Positions himself to sleep and Eva moves out of the way to the floor)
EVA: Remember in seventh grade when you were the smart one and lots of girls liked you?
JAKE: Uh-huh.
EVA: And remember when the only girl you liked was going out with Gary?
JAKE: Uh-huh.
(Lights start to dim)
EVA: What ever happened to those days?
JAKE: Dunno.
EVA: And now you have a witch. Do you remember when...
__________________
How to Survive the Sillmarillion

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do.
I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.
But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between self control and self abuse.


"Lacerations make complications, but welts go away in a day."
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Old 04-23-2004, 01:39 AM   #3
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Scene 3 - Doctor’s Office
(There is a table up center where the couch was in the previous scene. Two chairs are down right. Ray is sitting on one and has his feet propped up on another. He has a clipboard with messy papers clipped to it. Jake enters.)

JAKE: Um, hello? Doctor Ray?
RAY: (startled) Jake! There you are! I’ve just been looking over the last of these test results, and I think this will work for you. Hold on. (exits)
EVA: (pops up from behind table) Surprise!
JAKE: What are you doing here?
EVA: Well, I have to get out of that awful apartment sometimes, and what’s the harm of seeing my old creator off to destroy himself?
JAKE: I am not going to destroy myself! I am going to undergo a harmless procedure to make my life a little better is all!
EVA: (nasty) Ha! You don’t even know what he’s going to do to you. It’s all in the experimental stages anyway. He probably doesn’t even know what it’s going to do to you.
JAKE: Shut up! (winces)
RAY: (entering) Are you all right?
JAKE: Another migraine, you know how it is.
RAY: Yeah I do. I’ve seen a lot of people like you, with pain part of their everyday lives. But you’ll be the first to try this new treatment.
EVA: Ha! Told you.
JAKE: (shoots Eva a look) I didn’t get much sleep last night either.
RAY: Well, don’t worry. You can sleep through this whole thing, though it will be pretty short. Just half an hour. What we’re going to do is turn a couple of genes in your brain off. They are the ones that mess with your nervous system and make you in pain all the time. There are a few side effects. These genes mess with your memory too, so you may forget a few things; names and such. Nothing much.
EVA: Isn’t that illegal?
JAKE: (echoing) Isn’t that illegal?
RAY: No, not at all. It’s only illegal to mess with genes of people that haven’t been born yet. All this is is a quick shot and a resting period while I monitor you, then you’re out of here. Just sign this release form like always...
EVA: And sign your soul away.
JAKE: Hold on a minute, I told someone I was going to tell them about this... thing.
EVA: Oh not her! I thought you thought she is a loony! She is in my book!
RAY: Sure! I’ve got to get the CAT scanner set up anyway.
JAKE: Thanks.
(Jake walks stage left and pulls out cell phone. Ray exits.)
EVA: You must be really hung up on her to ask her opinion. Think for yourself for once.
JAKE: Why don’t you leave me alone and let me think?
(Cassandra enters stage right and answers her phone)
CASS: Hello?
JAKE: Hey, Cassandra. It’s Jake. I have to tell you about this new treatment.
CASS: Have they started drilling holes in your head already?
JAKE: That’s not very nice. These people are scientists--
CASS: And not at all like in the medieval times, I expect. They probably give you a sedative now before taking apart your scull.
JAKE: Stop that! You don’t know what this will do for me.
CASS: It will make you someone else.
JAKE: No it won’t! You can’t talk me out of it with your “homeopathic” junk.
CASS: Then why did you call?
JAKE: I don’t know! You’re the first friend I’ve had for a while, so I’d thought you’d be happy for me.
CASS: I am a friend. Don’t do it.
JAKE: Too bad.
(Jake hangs up. Cassandra exits, close to tears from frustration.)
EVA: You should have listened to her.
JAKE: Like you care, you just don’t want me to get control of my own mind.
EVA: Oh, I’m being selfish? You call her up to brag and when she disagrees you don’t listen for a second. I call that childish.
JAKE: You are the child, always whining about me. For all I care, you can go hang out with Cassandra then both of you can have a nice long complaint about me.
EVA: There you go again, it’s always “Me me me” when you’re around. The universe does not revolve around you.
JAKE: This is my head and the universe can spin any way I choose. You should know that. Actually, if my head was working correctly, you wouldn’t be here at all. I am going to fix this thing, and no female, real or imaginary, is going to stop me.
(Ray enters)
RAY: I heard some yelling. Did your friend not like the idea?
JAKE: I have no friends so there is no problem.
RAY: Right then. Just lay down on the table like normal please.
(Jake lays down)
EVA: I’m staying with you Jake.
RAY: There shouldn’t be any problems so don’t worry.
EVA: You might want me to stay if this gets out of hand.
JAKE: I won’t.
RAY: Good. I’m giving you a sedative now. (Gives Jake injection)
EVA: Good night Jake.
JAKE: Good night.
RAY: (a bit puzzled) Good night, I guess.

Scene 4 - Doctor’s Office
(Same as before. Jake is alone on stage. He wakes up and shakes his head then smiles. He turns around to laugh at Eva, but she isn’t there. No one is. He looks around. Ray enters.)

RAY: Well good morning Jake. Head not giving you any problems then?
JAKE: No, it feels fine.
RAY: Really? How does it feel exactly.
JAKE: It feels... empty.
RAY: Well that’s all well and good. All your tests are perfect so I suggest going home. Or back to work if you want.
JAKE: Yeah thanks. I think I will.
RAY: Oh, you don’t need to come back. I don’t think you’ll have any problems anymore. There might be some memory loss, but I doubt if it will be anything important.
JAKE: Oh really? That’s good.
RAY: Wonderful in fact. Now run along.
(Jake exits straightening up)
__________________
How to Survive the Sillmarillion

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do.
I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.
But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between self control and self abuse.


"Lacerations make complications, but welts go away in a day."
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Old 04-23-2004, 01:41 AM   #4
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Scene 5 - Jake’s Apartment
(Couch is still center. Jake comes in an tries to look happy. He wants someone to talk to, but no one is around. He is relived when the phone rings. Cassandra enters stage right. She is all smiles and giggles.)
JAKE: Hello?
CASS: Hey Jake. How are you? Did everything go well this morning?
JAKE: It was great. The doctor says I’m perfect now.
CASS: That’s wonderful honey! I knew this would be good for you!
JAKE: Weren’t you the one who said it was almost as bad as medieval torture?
CASS: Of course not! It’s a wonderful medical breakthrough, and nothing is too good for my sweetie pie.
JAKE: (a bit weirded out) Uh, yeah. Of course.
CASS: Oh Jake, when are we going to see each other? It’s so hard to have a relationship over the phone. I no you weren’t going to rush it until you were sure about this treatment, but since everything is perfect, I’d thought I’d bring it up again.
JAKE: Sure. But what are you talking about?
CASS: You know, last week at the cafe. We were talking about how much better your life would be after your treatment, but you said you didn’t want to discuss it because you had another migraine. You are such a cute little liar. Don’t you remember?
JAKE: Sure. I think. What is it?
CASS: When can we move in together? I mean, you’ve seen my place. There are only a few bookcases which could fit very neatly on your bare walls. I know you kept them bare to help stop your migraines, but now you can get some color into the place. And there’s the alter too, of course, and that can go in the bedroom.
JAKE: (freaked out) Um, I don’t know. Can we talk later?
CASS: Oh, what’s wrong honey buns? Are you getting another migraine? How is my cutie wootie snoogums?
JAKE: No my head is fine. I just... (scrambles for idea) I just have to go to work. I’ll call you later.
CASS: All right. But I expect your usual eight calls. I love you! Give me a kiss before you go. Yes you little fuzzy wuddely fluff muffin! Give your earth goddess a widdle kwiss!
JAKE: Um, bye!
(Jake hangs up. Cassandra makes a little pouty face at the phone before skipping off. Jake shoots a glance into the corner but no one is there. He looks puzzled and desperate for someone to talk to, then exits.)

Scene 6 - Jake’s Office
(A desk with a chair down center. If possible, walls to make it look like a cubical. Jake enters and sits in his chair. He looks around. At least this is familiar. He picks up a piece of paper and starts to read. Gary comes around the corner.)
GARY: Hey! Jake! Buddy! How’s it going? Hey, how was you’re treatment?
JAKE: Pretty good. Not a migraine in sight.
GARY: Then maybe you can get caught up on your work, eh? Ha. You ready for a big work day? (nudges Jake) But seriously, we have some news for you, and I’ll tell you as soon as the other manager get’s here.
JAKE: What other manager? You’ve been solo flying this place for five years.
GARY: We hired her three weeks ago. Don’t you remember?
JAKE: I seem to be having a few memory problems. It’s connected to the treatment somehow, but the doctor said there’d be no serious problems.
GARY: Good, because there is something I need to ask you, as well, and it would look pretty silly if you didn’t remember your own manager.
JAKE: So what’s this big secret all about?
GARY: Well, remember when you called last night and I was in the middle of a date? (looks suspiciously at Jake) You DO remember, right?
JAKE: Of COURSE.
GARY: Well, my date was with her. I can’t say anymore. She doesn’t want me to give anything away without her here. (looks up impatiently) Where is that person? I’ll go find her. (Exits)
JAKE: Three weeks? How much memory have I lost? (rolls eyes) Good thing my conscious isn’t here to comment.
(Gary re-enters with Eva)
JAKE: Ah!
GARY: Woah! Didn’t mean to scare you. (Slowly) This is Eva. Your manager. You do remember her, yes?
JAKE: Yeah I remember.
EVA: Why are you glaring at me? You know that makes you look like a fish.
(Gary and Eva laugh to themselves)
JAKE: All right, what’s going on here?
GARY: We have some very exciting news.
EVA: We’re getting married. Isn’t it wonderful?
GARY: Yeah. But what we wanted to ask you was if we could have a joint wedding.
JAKE: What?
EVA: Well, since you and Cassandra are engaged, we thought we might as well save you some expense and have a joint wedding.
GARY: Oh be nice Eva, they’re not as poor as all that.
(Gary and Eva laugh to themselves)
GARY: So what do you say, Jake old pal?
JAKE: Um, I guess I’d have to talk it over with Cassandra. But I’m, um, really busy right now. I have lots of work to catch up on.
GARY: Yeah, all right. Call us then.
EVA: And remember not to hunch. It’s very bad for your back.
GARY: Hey Eva, don’t pester him. This isn’t the seventh grade.
(Gary and Eva laugh to themselves and exit)
JAKE: I’m engaged? (calming down only a little) Three weeks. That’s it. I somehow forgot three whole weeks. That’s all it is. I’ll ask Doctor Ray for something. (Leans back and rubs eyes, sits up suddenly) But who the hell is Eva?
__________________
How to Survive the Sillmarillion

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do.
I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.
But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between self control and self abuse.


"Lacerations make complications, but welts go away in a day."
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Old 04-23-2004, 01:42 AM   #5
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Scene 7 - A Hallway
(It is a bare stage. Jake hides by pressing himself against a wall. When Eva comes onstage he jumps out at her.)
JAKE: Hey.
EVA: Aa! Jake, you shouldn’t jump out at people like that.
JAKE: So, Eva...
EVA: Yes?
JAKE: How long would you say you’ve known me.
EVA: Three weeks.
JAKE: Are you sure?
EVA: Of course.
JAKE: You can drop the act. I know you don’t belong here.
EVA: Oh, it’s this again, isn’t it?
JAKE: I could say the same thing to you.
EVA: Listen Jake, ever since I got here you have been isolating me and pelting me with little jokes and games. All I have tried to do was to was build a friendship, and you’ve pushed me away. I tried advice, I’ve tried fun, but you’ve made my job as your superior a nightmare. Well I’ve had enough. You’ve shoved me away so much that I’m leaving the company. I got a better job offer anyway, and I might just take Gary with me.
JAKE: Quit this nonsense! You don’t exist!
EVA: And now my existence is called into question? I have had enough of you Jake! I’m not waiting! I quit today!
JAKE: Good! If you leave you cease to exist and you can’t marry Gary!
EVA: I will marry Gary! (has a thought) About our joint wedding, I think we should go through with it. Cassandra and Gary are so looking forward to it. Too bad you have to be there. (exits)
JAKE: (Throws up hands) Enter Rod Serling! Oh no, Cassandra. What will I tell her? “Hi, I don’t remember anything about you except your name.” God damn it all! (Claps hand over mouth. Crosses himself) Forgive me lord. Why did I just do that, anyway?

Scene 8 - Jake’s Apartment
(Same as before. Jake is pacing.)
JAKE: I can’t believe this. My memory of the last three weeks is gone, and now my subconscious has a life of her own. I really need to see the doctor again.
CASS: (waltzes in) Hello Jake! Gary called me and told me about their idea for a joint wedding and I think it’s absolutely marvelous! (starts setting up candles on the floor) Of course, I’m going to have to meet Eva so we can start planning. But for right now, I think we should have a nice little ceremony of our own to thank the Triple Goddess.
JAKE: What are you doing?
CASS: Ah Jake, are you still having qualms about changing your religion so suddenly? It’s not like you ever really practiced Catholicism anyway. So, come here, light your candles, and later you can help me sacrifice a chicken.
JAKE: (panicked) No thanks. I have to go see the doctor for some follow up tests.
CASS: Hurry home sweetie!
(Jake runs off. Cassandra smiles to her candles then takes them off as she exits.)

Scene 9 - Doctor’s Office
(Couch can stay on with the table in front of it. Ray has his feet propped on the table while sitting in a chair. Jake rushes in.)

JAKE: Doc! Hey, Ray! You’ve got to help me. I’ve lost three weeks. I don’t know what is going on. Everyone has changed. And there’s this person who is, um... she just shouldn’t be here.
RAY: Hey, calm down Jake. I warned you that their might be memory loss. Just sit down and relax.
JAKE: I can’t relax. All I’m missing is people. They say all the things that happened yesterday happened weeks ago. Last night I called my boss and he said he had a date I didn’t know. Then today he said that the date was with someone who I had met three weeks ago.
RAY: You obviously misunderstood.
JAKE: Then there’s this girl who wants to move in with me.
RAY: Ah yes. Cassandra. I hope you told her she could.
JAKE: You mean she knows you too?
RAY: Oh no, I’ve never met her. You just talk about her incessantly. How much she’s in love with you. How you are so in love with her that you’ve given up Catholicism.
JAKE: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
RAY: Of course. You must think you’re going crazy. You’re brain has been under a lot of stress.
JAKE: You sound strange.
RAY: Now you’re delusional. Let me just give you this post-surgical injection and you’ll feel much better. (Stands behind Jake and mimes a hypodermic needle)
JAKE: What injection? Get off of me. (Stands up)
RAY: Paranoia. Another common symptom.
JAKE: (Almost yelling) Symptoms of WHAT?
RAY: Oh you are very sick, mister. We’ll need to get a LOT of drugs in you.
(Ray begins to chase Jake around the table)
JAKE: And what will (gestures to imaginary hypodermic) THAT do to me?
RAY: This will begin to eat away your blood cells so we can transfuse you with new genetically altered blood.
JAKE: No! Get away from me!
RAY: The endoplazmic functions will soon dissolve into a kalideoscopic pattern of hydrovessant microbonds, catalistic of aberration of the fundamental biscopages.
(Jake exits running. Ray stops before exiting, as if stopping pursuing, then exits)
__________________
How to Survive the Sillmarillion

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do.
I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.
But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between self control and self abuse.


"Lacerations make complications, but welts go away in a day."
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Old 04-23-2004, 01:44 AM   #6
Katt_knome_hobbit
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Scene 10 - Jake’s Apartment
(Gary and Eva are on the couch drinking tea with Cassandra in another chair. Jake enters panicked.)

CASS: Oh there you are, sweetie! We’ve just been discussing our marriage.
GARY: Yeah. Cassandra can really change your life.
EVA: She’s too good for you, Jake.
JAKE: This is wrong. This shouldn’t be happening.
EVA: (Standing up, suddenly in a rage) What IS wrong Jake? Is it wrong for things to start changing? Can you not handle the modification of you life? Things should be better now. What is wrong with YOU?
CASS: (standing) You love me, don’t you? Or you want to at least. All I’m trying to do is further your life to be more worthwhile.
GARY: (standing) Out with the old, in with the new. That’s business for you. You have to move with the times.
JAKE: But she (referring to Eva) shouldn’t BE here!
(The three surround Jake)
EVA: You’ve always resented me. You never wanted me around. You’ve resented your whole life. So I’m leaving for you.
CASS: You have so much hostility towards your religion. It ties you to past ideas, so you were hostile to your parents for forcing it on you. I cut your spiritual anchor.
GARY: You could never settle down because of your problems. You could never stick to one job.
CASS: Or person.
EVA: Or personality.
GARY: I gave you a steady job that you had no excuse to fail at.
JAKE: None of you helped me.
EVA: How can you say that--
CASS: To your fiance--
GARY: To your boss--
EVA: To yourself.
GARY: We are your closest friends.
CASS: We know you the best.
EVA: We define who you are.
JAKE: You can never help me. You only drive me insane.
EVA: You can’t do this alone, Jake.
JAKE: Do what?
E,G&C: Release your resentment.
JAKE: What?
E,G&C: Your hostility towards yourself. It’s not your environment you can’t except, it’s you.
JAKE: (get’s migraine) I hate metaphors.
E,G&C: (circling) If you can’t accept yourself you can’t accept anything. If you can’t know yourself you can’t know anything.
JAKE: Leave me alone! (drops to the floor in pain Center stage)
E,G&C: Accept who you are!
JAKE: You’re not me!
E,G&C: Accept who you are!
JAKE: You don’t exist
E,G&C: Accept who you are!
JAKE: I don’t know how!
(There is a blackout. exeunt except for a spot on Jake. He is close to tears the pain in his head is so bad. When he realizes everyone is gone he looks up. Full blackout)

Scene 11 - Doctor’s Office
(Jake is lying on the table again. On a chair are piled all the distinctive clothing items. Jake sit’s up suddenly and touches his head. His position sitting on the table should mimic the end of scene ten. Ray enters.)
RAY: Jake! You’re up! How do you feel.
JAKE: (doesn’t let Ray touch him yet in case of another hypodermic) I’m fine. So, I’ve only been unconscious for half an hour?
RAY: Good Heavens no. (sees Jakes reaction of bewilderment) Oh, I told you half an hour, didn’t I? You’ve been under for three and a half. I really should explain. (pulls out omnipresent clipboard) What happened was I ran a few more tests, but I noticed something odd. Your DNA looked perfectly normal, as did the genes I thought were malfunctioning. On a hunch, I injected you with an isotope that detects a different kind of source of migraines. It turns out that I had the wrong DNA sample with your name on it. What you really have are inflamed meninges.
JAKE: Excuse me?
RAY: The padding in between your brain and your scull is inflamed. I can’t do much, but I’ve got this new excellent pain killer that I could prescribe.
JAKE: You know, I think I’ll stick to the medicine I have. But I did have some pretty weird dreams.
RAY: Well, I didn’t want you to feel pain while I was scanning your migraines, so I gave you a dose of a drug found in marijuana.
JAKE: Is that legal?
RAY: Semi-legal. Sorry for any hallucinations. And sorry for the inconvenience.
JAKE: No, I think it helped. Can I go now?
RAY: Yeah. Of course.
(Jake starts to put on clothes on the chair. Ray notices his gloves.)
RAY: Hey, nice gloves. No fingers. Are they useful?
JAKE: Yeah, especially when I’m typing.
RAY: Cool.
(Exeunt)

Scene 12 - Jake’s Office
(Jake enters and puts his coat on the back of the chair with the scarf over it and the had on his desk. He keeps the gloves on and gets to work. Gary pops in.)
GARY: Hey Jake! How did the treatment go?
JAKE: I didn’t get any. There was a mistake.
GARY: That’s too bad. I have some more bad news. Would you be willing to work overtime this weekend?
JAKE: Yeah. Sure. I have some old stuff to catch up on anyway.
GARY: Thanks. And cool trench coat. Really nice. You got a date tonight?
JAKE: Maybe.
GARY: You’re lucky. I’m going bar hopping again tonight. I can never keep them. See ya Jake! (exits)
JAKE: (calls down the hall) See you Gary! (remembers something. Picks up phone and dials Cassandra who enters stage left)
CASS: Hello?
JAKE: Hey Cassandra, it’s Jake.
CASS: How did the treatment go?
JAKE: I didn’t get any treatment. The doc messed up. All I got was a big dose of marijuana.
CASS: Oh, well that’s all right. Marijuana’s an herb after all. I’m sorry about making rude references this morning. I hope I didn’t scare you off with my naturalist talk.
JAKE: No. You were right. But I have a question, are you wiccan?
CASS: Is that what’s been scaring you? It’s more like a hobby. And anyway, wiccans believe in the same God as Christians, just in different forms. Now, acupuncture is a different story.
JAKE: Right. I have to go, lots of work. We can talk more tonight.
CASS: You mean, like a date?
JAKE: (thinks) Yes, a date. Five thirty. The coffee shop. Then we can have some fun.
CASS: Thanks Jake! See you there.
JAKE: Bye.
(Cassandra exits, leaving Jake looking satisfied. He looks around then picks up Eva’s hat. He put’s it on. Eva’s voice comes over the God Mike.)
EVA: You did good, Jake.
(Jake takes off the hat and goes back to work. Blackout. Curtain call.)
__________________
How to Survive the Sillmarillion

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do.
I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.
But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between self control and self abuse.


"Lacerations make complications, but welts go away in a day."
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Old 04-23-2004, 11:45 PM   #7
Count Comfect
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Katt - c'est magnifique! I love it.
Now, that won't help you improve it, but it's what I think.
P.S. Come to All in the Timing.
P.P.S. I really like Jake.
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