Some Poems

[Rûdhaglarien]

I really liked that one, Nerdanel.

joyless self-destruction ... I really, really like that line.

And:
..........(even you will fall
..........and I shall not rise again)

Those two were beautiful.

[Beruthiel's cat]

Originally Posted by Nerdanel

....
No, I cannot forgive you
For my heart is too small

My forgiveness is not endless
I do need it all

..........(the fallen are the evil
..........but we will all fall)

Ner, what a great image!! You've written another lovely, heartfelt poem. I still can't believe English isn't your first language!!!

Great job!!!

[Nerdanel]

thank you, thank you, thank you!

i didn't like it that much though.. i'm not good at rhyming, it felt a bit fake at times..
but i'm glad to hear you liked it!

(and it warmed my heart to hear that about my language, BC thank you.)

[Nerdanel]

- In case this is the last time I see you
........she said and gave me a hug.

- No, this can't be the last time I see you! I have yet to see your body in full moonlight, without a shell of fear on. I have yet to touch your soft, warm skin, I have yet to feel your electric touch send high voltage waves through me.
I have yet to **** you with all my body and all my heart.
........I said but my mouth did not move.

I took my bike and went home. She was on my mind when I did to me what I really wanted to do to her.
........But my skin just didn't feel as soft as hers,
........my own touch couldn't send those electric waves through me.


I never saw her again.

[Rûdhaglarien]

Wow. Wow. Wow. That sent chills through me. |bows before you in awe|
That was amazing. But, I'm afraid that I can't praise it well enough with my words, so I'll stop trying now...

[Nerdanel]

thanks! i didn't think anyone would like it.. i already feared that someone had reported it to the mods..

that's the most un-poetic stuff i've written in a while, but as i believe i can't write anything else than poetry, i call that one a poem too.

did i confuse you now?

EDIT: ok, so it was censured already.. takes some of the power out of it, but i guess 13-year-olds don't know what **** means.

[Lady Ravyn]

you know what though, even with the the edit, that was really powerful. awesome, nerd. as was the last one you posted, but i like this one better. very, very cool

geez, you guys are getting so good i'm almost embarrased to post my stuff lol

[Lady Ravyn]

Afraid of a Savior

In 20 minutes
you rescued me.
I was lost
down the path less traveled by,
and the sun
was sinking into the west.

But here you are,
an unexpected knight
in shining armor,
offering your hand
and asking if I'm alright.

Why?

I can't help but be suspicious.

If your going
to burst my bubble
do it now,
before your dagger
digs too deeply.

For the first time
in my memory,
I can smile when I'm alone-
truly be happy
just for myself.

Don't snuff out
my now-joyous flame;
save me from myself,
but don't let my heart
get caught in the cross-fire.

[Lady Ravyn]

okay, i know this one is pretty bad, but i sorta meant it to be that way... lol

Erin's Amazing Obligatory Corny Love Poem

You're a light in my darkness;

No!
That sounds too much
like a teen-love poem-

oh, wait...

You make me feel beautiful;
with you my insecurities
fall away and I can just be-

No!
That's still wrong!
Why can't I think straight lately?

oh, yeah...

What can I say
that hasn't been said
in a thousand different lines
in a thousand different poems?

How can I say it
without sounding stupid?
What is there
that could describe this adequatrly?

oh! wait!

You're a light in my darkness...
**********************************************

[Nerdanel]

i think both of them are very good! i especially like the latter one.. it reminds me that sometimes i can't write poems, because i'm afraid of clichés..

[Lady Ravyn]

What Have You Done?

Suddenly,
my hand aches
with yours not near-by.
It was never that way
Before;
What did you do?

Now,
my mind wanders
down the same path constantly-
you are always at its end;
How did you do that?

I find that I'm lonely
when I'm sitting by myself;
those times that used
to bring me peace
now bring me longing
for your strong arms about me.

I should be drowning,
but I'm breathing
clearer
than I ever have before-

What have you done?
**************************************

sorry for the cheese-fest guys, but i'm a little new at the love thing i'll get better...i hope... lol!

[Nerdanel]

i think it's good.. and you have lots of time to make it even better!

'my mind wanders
down the same path constantly-
you are always at its end;'

i like that part.. it's a nice metaphor.

[Nerdanel]

i think it's good.. and you have lots of time to make it even better!

'my mind wanders
down the same path constantly-
you are always at its end;'

i like that part.. it's a nice metaphor.

[Nerdanel]

sorry 'bout that.. i hate this computer..

btw, here are a few new poems i've written; i don't like them that much..

the first one:

Nothing can be brought back
..........not even the clean rain
..........from misty mountains
..........and untouched forests.

The lost must be grieved
..........time gives perspective
..........understanding maybe
..........but never healing.

Not even my thoughts
can be washed clean anymore.

[Nerdanel]

While he is sitting in his
private jetplane
..........he’s writing songs about
..........the extinction of the rain forests.

While he is filling up his
50 metre pool
..........he’s planning a fund
..........to provide Africans with clean water.


While he is watching the bird
dancing at sunset
..........he’s wondering what life is
..........if this is all.

For now only his eyes can see.
No longer can he be saved.

[Nerdanel]

..and the last one:

Suddenly I felt so old.

I just couldn’t hate anymore.
My anger and ferocity
had gone to a place I no longer could find.

I just listened to the young girls
..........giggling and chewing
and remembered it all for the first time.

I only felt sorrow
the pain behind the chewing
the loneliness behind the laughter.

I sat all alone
and realised that I have never
been as loved as I am now.

..........Old, alone and loved.

[Lady Ravyn]

those are good! the first two aren't as good as the last one though. i really like the first part:
"My anger and ferocity
"had gone to a place I no longer could find..."
very cool!

[Lief Erikson]

Some excellent writing, Nerdanel . I really like how you kept the rhythm flowing so smoothly.

[Nerdanel]

thank you! i don't like the second one though.. but i decided to put it there anyway!

[Lady Ravyn]

A Different Shade of Blue

I look in the mirror.

As I brush away the curtain of
my almost-black hair, -
almost black;
not brown,
darker,
but not true midnight.
That's what I get
for being indecisive -

the paleness of my skin
shocks me;
a startling whiteness
marred by my
freckled hawk's nose
and pink strawberry lips.

I study intently
the lines of my brow,
the set of my mouth,
but then I catch sight
of my eyes.

And I can't help but wonder:
is their deep blueness seen
as welcoming, friendly pools?
or cold, harsh ice?

EDIT:i like this one, but i don't like the last verse; any ideas of how to clean that part up?