Lyrd of the Ryngs - Dyscussion Thread

[Nurvingiel]

Yeah, maybe modelled after "The Last Saskatchewan Pirate" a hilarious song by Captain Tractor?

I think that Arwen should still be incredibly beautiful despite a broken nose and two black eyes from getting whacked in the face by the branch.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

If I new the song I would.

[Nurvingiel]

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate - by Captain Tractor

VERSE 1:

Well I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But the times went by and though I tried the money wasn't there
And bankers came and took my land and told me fair is fair
I looked for every kind of job the answer always no,
"Hire you now" they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go"
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum

BRIDGE:
Then I thought "who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone,
I'm gonna be a pirate on the River Saskatchewan..." (Arrrrrgh!)

CHORUS:
'cause it's a Heave! Ho! High! Ho! Coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a Ho! Hey! High! Hey! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Rancher on Regina's mighty shores


VERSE 2:
Well you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it, and I stole their fertilizer
A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans the mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a quiver
'Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hiding in the bay
I'll jump the bridge and knock 'em cold and sail off with the hay

CHORUS

VERSE 3:
Well Mounty Bob, he chased me, he was always at my throat
He'd follow on the shore line but he didn't own a boat
But cutbacks were a comin' so the Mountie lost his job
So now he's sailin' with me and we call him "Salty Bob"
A swinging sword a scum 'n bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax, and screw the GST -- "Screw It!"
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea,
If you want to reach the Co-Op boy, you gotta get by me

CHORUS

VERSE 4:
Well pirate life's appealing, but you don't just find me here
I've heard that in Alberta there's a band of buckeneers
They roam the Athabasca, from Smith to Fort McKay
And you're gonna loose your Stetson and if you have to pass their way
Well winter is a comin' and the chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I'll be back in springtime, but now I have to go
I hear there's lots of plundering down in New Mexico

CHORUS X3


What do you think?

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Good. Whoever posts around then can adapt it.

[Nurvingiel]

If you guys want to anyway. I just thought it might be funny.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

On the weapons front. Maybe Sting and Glamdring could be soldering iron's and Anduril and Boromir's sword be Power drills.

[Nurvingiel]

Brilliant!

Is it okay if we use this as the discussion thread instead of the one in the book forum Grey Wolf? We could quote some things from that thread over here.

[Grey_Wolf]

Originally Posted by Nurvingiel

Brilliant!

Is it okay if we use this as the discussion thread instead of the one in the book forum Grey Wolf? We could quote some things from that thread over here.

It's quite OK!

[Nurvingiel]

Yay, I'm glad.

Grey Wolf, in your last post you gave me the best idea! Elrond names the fellowship... the Gang of the Package, or were you thinking... the Homies of the Package? (I like the Homies actually... what do you guys think, one of those or a different name?)

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Great.

Maybe Gimli's ax could be a multi purpose Swiss Army Knife.

[Nurvingiel]

Yeah, do you like all the things we were talking about in MSN? Like, he has a tool that's actually a huge battle axe, and he uses it for everything - opening beers, fixing the quad (maybe he lets Sam use it), cutting Galadriel's hair (he lets her use it), chopping firewood, it has a tiny cell phone... etc... maybe he gets annoyed that people are always borrowing it.

Or what if Boromir's horn was a cell phone only to be used in emergencies. When they set out from Imladris he calls Faramir because it's a tradition for them to call each other when they start journeys etc.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Or he could have a Megaphone and shout into it before every journey.

The ideas are great Nurv.

[Nurvingiel]

Thanks Telcontar.

LOL The megaphone is awesome. We're coming up to where the rest of the company is introduced. What are we gonna use from the original thread?

[Grey_Wolf]

Suggestions for the continued story and parts used from LOTR:

The Homies of the Package will do nicely, Nurv.

1. Naturally, the Feast (where Frodo is introduced to Gimli.)

2. Frodo's meeting with Bilbo and perhaps been given Sting and the Mithril body armour. What say ye? Or perhaps we should wait with until after the Meeting.

3. The Meeting and discussion of what to do with the Package. Boromir, naturally, already then becoming enchated by it.

4. Cellphones for everyone, perhaps (what think ye?). Megaphone for Boromir (very good suggestion!)


Suggested parts of the remaining principals

Faramir: A poet
Boromir: An achitect waiting for his father's retirement
The Eye: a broadcasting company
The Dunlendings: Jacuza assassins
Eowyn: A feminist
Theoden: An aging Zen karate master
Eomer: A zen karate master (apprentice to Theoden)
The Rohirrim: Hell's Angels
The Ents: Greenpeace
Galadriel: A zonetherapist
Denethor: the aging EO of an architectural firm
Saruman: A competing brand NHC salesman

Wormtongue: A catburgler
Gollum: Another catburgler
The Uruk-hai: Black Sabbath
The Wild Men: Bandidos
Shelob: a genetically deformed monster
The Easterlings: Boyz'n't'Hood.
Orcs: Bully tag'a'longs
Mouth of Sauron: A Muslim warlord

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Frodo was introduced to Gloin at the Feast. Maybe Saruman could be a corrupted Police Officer. Radagast a Fireman that lives in Mirkwood to protect it from Forest Fires. That way the Istari are members of Public Services. I love the Ent's ideas.

[Grey_Wolf]

Originally Posted by Telcontar_Dunedain

Frodo was introduced to Gloin at the Feast. Maybe Saruman could be a corrupted Police Officer. Radagast a Fireman that lives in Mirkwood to protect it from Forest Fires. That way the Istari are members of Public Services. I love the Ent's ideas.

Yes, of course, you're right about Gloin. And your other ideas are good too.

[Nurvingiel]

Comments on Grey Wolf's suggestions:

1. Naturally, the Feast (where Frodo is introduced to Gimli.)
This is about to take place in a hospital cafeteria, which could be really funny. The best ready made dinners around ... etc.

2. Frodo's meeting with Bilbo and perhaps been given Sting and the Mithril body armour. What say ye? Or perhaps we should wait with until after the Meeting.
I love it, I think it should be done in private though.

3. The Meeting and discussion of what to do with the Package. Boromir, naturally, already then becoming enchated by it.
He keeps squinting at it, trying to read the address...

4. Cellphones for everyone, perhaps (what think ye?). Megaphone for Boromir (very good suggestion!)
Boromir's megaphone is awesome, nice one Telcontar. What if when he uses it at the outset of the journey, he has major feedback, and that's why Elrond criticises him. (All the dogs in Imladris start howling... he says that's a special frequency that orcs hear well..)

Éowyn is only a feminist? I think we could do more with her personally. She could be something random and funny, or tie it to her character more. I mean, she practically already was a feminist in the book.

[Grey_Wolf]

Originally Posted by Nurvingiel

Comments on Grey Wolf's suggestions:
Éowyn is only a feminist? I think we could do more with her personally. She could be something random and funny, or tie it to her character more. I mean, she practically already was a feminist in the book.

What about her being a militant feminist?

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Maybe we could have her as being a house wife, totally opposite to what she is in the book.

[Grey_Wolf]

Originally Posted by Telcontar_Dunedain

Maybe we could have her as being a house wife, totally opposite to what she is in the book.

That'll do nicely. Eowyn as a house wife with funny aspects.