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04-06-2002, 02:49 PM
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#161 |
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Lurker
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlórien
Posts: 3,419
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(The counselor picks up the phone)
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There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium... |
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04-06-2002, 10:16 PM
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#162 |
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Deus Ex Machina
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,951
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Willow: Evil Lords, Evil Phones, Insane Counselors.... Oi! All we need now is to run into a bunch of Fellowship hating Orcs and the chaos will be complete.
TinuvielChild: No it wouldn't, it'd be a bit closer to complete but it needs a lot more than that. Tano: Of course, now that orcs have been mentioned a band of them will probably turn up and attack us. Renille (watching the counselor): Ummm, I thought we were trying to keep the evil phone away from her. (The company plus the dwarves turn to look at the counselor) Counselor (Holding the phone aloft and dialing numbers): Yes! Freedom is near, soon you will all be prisoners of the People in White! Muhahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Company: Uh, Oh...
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"5. Plain Rings with RUNES on the inside. Avoid these like the PLAGUE.-Diana Wynne Jones Tough Guide To FantasyLand ...it's not much of a show if somebody doesn't suffer, and preferably at length. Suffering is beautiful in any case, and so is anguish; but as for loathing, and bitterness... I don't think they belong on the stage at all. - Isabella, I Gelosi |
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04-07-2002, 05:39 AM
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#163 |
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The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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Eärniel: I don't think so...
*Eärniel takes something from her pocket and holds it tauntingly before the counsellor's face. It's a battery. The counsellor blinks than she starts frantically fumbling with the mobile untill she gets it open. It's empty. The TLA look astonished.* Eruviel: You took the battery out? How very good of you! Eärniel: *blushes* Um...its not what you think....I needed it....um... my electric kitchenknife went bust last night and I wanted to use it to make dinner today....so I kinda took the battery out when you were all sleeping* blushes even deeper* I was gonna put it back tonight but....it kinda never came to that. Renille: Luck is with us then. It would have been a real disaster if she had called the Nine People in White upon us. At al times can they hear the call of the Evil Mobile.... *TLA shivers* TinuvielChild: Well now that's settled we need to move on. *she looks at the counsellor who looks downcast* and tie her back up. How did she get loose anyway? Some TLA-members tie the counsellor back and put her on a horse. The others assemble their packs and make ready to take leave of the dwarves. Willow *picks up the phone and looks dreamily* It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing..... Tanoliel: Umm... Willow, give the Mobile back to the counsellor. She can't do much wrong with it now. Willow: *blinks* Oh yes off course... *she puts it in the counsellor's pocket* I care not.
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We are not things. |
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04-07-2002, 02:33 PM
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#164 |
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Elven Lady of Speed-posting
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: the cheese state
Posts: 988
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Ren: I had a question...
Eärniel: (Sighs) What NOW? Ren: Where are we going? Counselor-Ha, you see! Short term memory is a sign of insanity. Ren: No...I never knew in the first place! Counselor-*SIGH*
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Oh the thinks you can think! Think and wonder and dream...far and wide as you dare! When your thinks have run dry, in the blink of an eye, there's another world there... (from Seussical the Musical. Listen to it...watch it...really.) |
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04-08-2002, 07:08 AM
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#165 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Valinor, right next to Telperion . . . what did you expect, Michigan?
Posts: 1,315
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Laurelyn: Well, I thought we were going to China . . . we must destroy the Cell Phone sooner or later, you know.
Tano: No! My precious! I mean . . . er . . . how are we going to destroy it in China anyway? Eruviel: Yeah, there's no handy-dandy volcano to pitch it into, and no handy-dandy Gollum to fall in with it! Laurelyn: Maybe the Counselor should fall in! Counselor: Ai! No! Don't do that!
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The Third Age of Entmoot has begun. Angel of music, guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory! The country I eat and spend the day in is by no means the country I sleep and dream in. Define patriotism. Hold the boat, you spastic monkey! ~ Elenka |
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04-08-2002, 08:11 AM
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#166 |
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Lurker
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlórien
Posts: 3,419
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Elf Girl: Well you were the phone-finder.
Counselor: Help! Mental Hospital! Police! Help! Renille: However, she's the phone-berear too. Elf Girl: I guess. Maybe we can pick up a Gollum along the way. Counselor: You people are insane. All: Thank you! Laurelyn: Her condition is improving. She actually gave us a compliment! Counselor: *groans*
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There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium... |
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04-08-2002, 10:55 PM
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#167 |
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Elven Lady of Speed-posting
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: the cheese state
Posts: 988
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Ren: Phone-bearer...like a ring bearer! We're the Cellowship! (giggles) So if she's Frodo...who are we?
Counselor-(mutters) insane nutcases All:Why thank you! Laurelyn: Wow...the phone has the opposite effect of the Ring. She gets nicer as time wears on! Tano:Yeah, that's right. So give it to me! Elf Girl: Haha...NO! But interesting theory, Laurelyn...I'll tell...which one of us is Gandalf?
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Oh the thinks you can think! Think and wonder and dream...far and wide as you dare! When your thinks have run dry, in the blink of an eye, there's another world there... (from Seussical the Musical. Listen to it...watch it...really.) |
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04-09-2002, 01:59 AM
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#168 |
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The Rogue Elf
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,722
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(Back in Imladris . . . )
Rána Eressëa: Hey, Elrond, do you think they destroyed that evil black object of Nokia, China? Elrond: [blinks] [rubs his eyes] [blinks again] Heeey . . . didn't you leave with the others??? Rána Eressëa: Oh, yeah, but then I creeped away and changed my name so they couldn't find me. Elrond: Oh. Rána Eressëa: So, you think they're going to succeed? Elrond: I hope so. Or else we're all doomed . . . [eyes downcast] Rána Eressëa: Awww . . . here, have some Miruvor. [hands Elrond a bottle of Miruvor] Elrond: [quickly grabs it] Eru bless you, child! |
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04-09-2002, 04:42 AM
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#169 |
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The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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The Cellowship of the Phone journeys onwards. They travel through strange lands and at nightfall....
Tanoliel: We have traveled far this day. Let us halt for my legs are sore indeed. Eärniel: And I'm hungry... Laurelyn: Now THAT's a novelty! Eärniel: Do not insult my poor stomach for it is quick to rumble! It has supported me well on this wearying journey! Laurelyn: Fine, fine, don't have a cow, kid... Eärniel: *eyes shining* I can have a cow? Cool? Where is it? Laurelyn: Errr, ask Renille! Eärniel:Renille? Renille: *looks angry at Laurelyn* um....later The Cellowship makes camp. After a long and varied meal they decide on the road ahead. Eruviel takes some maps out of her bag. Eruviel: I have found this maps on a strange place... the air was a poisonous fume and no grass grew there. The people were weird indeed, they poured some foulsmelling liquid in strange devices who afterwards sped away at the speed of an eagle! TLA: Ooooooooh! Eruviel: And in this barren land there was an unseemingly little heaven. They called it 'shop'. It held many stores of food and other valuable things like these precious maps. And a sweet melody played there and a soft breeze of wind chased the foul smell away... TLA: Aaaaaaaah! Counsellor: You robbed a GASSTATION! Eruviel*looks dismayed at the counsellor for ruining the mood* Hey I bought it , fair and square! The TLA bend over the maps. Willow: Oh look at the DISTANCE! We are so never going to make it! *sobs*We are doomed! We will all fall under the spell of the Evil Mobilephone! We are doomed! Doomed, I tell ya! Beardofpants: There, there Willow, do not let your heart be troubled. We will take some rest and tomorrow we will find a way. Elf Gril:*smiles* Fear not, my friends for I think I have found the way. TLA looks in astonishment at Elf Girl. Tanoliel: Tell us Elf Girl! Elf Girl: Long ago I learned the secrets of the wizards. For they have left now, but I remained. I searched long but I have found what I searched for so long! THE PORTAL TO MIDDLE-EARTH! Right here! At only a day travel from us. TLA gasp again Eärniel: All nice and impressive Elf Girl, but we ARE in Middle-earth! Elf Girl: *chuckles* That's just the beauty of it! We use it the otherway around! We use it to go to China! TLA cheers.
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We are not things. |
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04-09-2002, 05:01 AM
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#170 |
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the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
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*BeardofPants wonders why we would want to go to China.*
BoP: Why would we want to go to China? What is there that will wet our minds, and destroy the evil Mobile Phone? Are we going to Mt. Nokia upon lies the hidden way to the cracks of Plastic? Earniel: Nay, I do not know the way. We must seek out the wizened one... Ai! Gandalf! Why didst thee flee to the west? Elf Girl: Let us make our way to this wonderful place called 'shop'. Maybe there, we can perchance, happen upon a Wizard, wise in the ways of Mt. Nokia. BoP: In the meantime, let us rest our tired bones, and weary souls. Let us seek out the tofu cow, and eat thou foul creation of mixed vegetables. *Unbeknownst to the camping TLA, the evil counsellor was slowly crawling off into the distance....*
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"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
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04-09-2002, 10:13 PM
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#171 |
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Deus Ex Machina
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,951
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Willow: (sees the counselor crawling away and grabs her arm) Don't even think about trying to escape lady. If you do we will be forced do nasty things unto thee.
Earniel: (grabs the counselor's other arm and nods) We may be insane, but we aren't stupid and we're very good at thinking of nasty things to do to naughty prisoners. Counselor: (Slumps as the cellowship reties her) Why me.... of all the counselors to have this group of crazies, why me?!?!?! Tano:Now, Now, I sensed a usage of multiple exclamation marks there, don't you know that that's a sign of insanity. Eruviel:I thought insanity was a good thing...
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"5. Plain Rings with RUNES on the inside. Avoid these like the PLAGUE.-Diana Wynne Jones Tough Guide To FantasyLand ...it's not much of a show if somebody doesn't suffer, and preferably at length. Suffering is beautiful in any case, and so is anguish; but as for loathing, and bitterness... I don't think they belong on the stage at all. - Isabella, I Gelosi Last edited by Willow Oran : 04-09-2002 at 10:14 PM. |
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04-09-2002, 10:27 PM
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#172 |
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Elven Lady of Speed-posting
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: the cheese state
Posts: 988
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Willow: HONESTLY. Why didn't you leave her at home in the first place? She's pitiful
Renille: Pity? It was pity that stayed our descicion The counselor still has a part to play...*mutters* but don't ask me what.Ah! That's the way out! Tano: The way out of...where? Renille: Gimme a break... I had to finish the quote! Counselor-This is only a dream...this is only a dream...
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Oh the thinks you can think! Think and wonder and dream...far and wide as you dare! When your thinks have run dry, in the blink of an eye, there's another world there... (from Seussical the Musical. Listen to it...watch it...really.) |
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04-10-2002, 04:18 PM
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#173 |
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Lurker
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlórien
Posts: 3,419
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Counselor: Waaaaait...A portal? A portal back to the real world?! A portal back to the real world?! A portal back to the real world?!
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There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium... |
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04-11-2002, 05:23 PM
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#174 |
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Lurker
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlórien
Posts: 3,419
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OOC: I'll pick up where I left off in the last one, I had to go.
Elf Girl: Yes, we will use the portal to get to your foul land. Now get back on your horse! We must go to this...this...this gas station, for supplies before we reach the portal. *they get the Counselor onto her horse* Counselor: If this is a dream, the portal will wake me up! Eärniel: She is showing definite signs of insanity. Elf Girl: *muttering, to Laurelyn* It'll be awhile before we get there. I'm going to ask her the question. Laurelyn: Are you sure that's wise? Elf Girl: It is the only thing I can do to divert her. Counselor: What? What question? Elf Girl: Well...*takes a deep breath* Counselor: What? Elf Girl: Wellllllll... Counselor: What? Elf Girl: Do...you think Balrogs have wings?
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There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium... |
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04-11-2002, 10:27 PM
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#175 |
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Elven Lady of Speed-posting
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: the cheese state
Posts: 988
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Counselor- WHAT? What is a balrog, some kind of dragon? I don't know if they have wings, and I frankly could care less. *Pouts* I want to go back to the real world!
Eärniel- I really hate to tell you this... Laurelyn- We recognize how much of a burden the phone is to you... Elf Girl- Don't give up hope... Tano-You can always give it to me.... BoP- At least you don't have to eat tofu... Willow- We could all move to the Shire.... Counselor- What do you have to tell me? Renille- There's no way to get home unless you destroy the cellphone in China. Counselor-*cries*
__________________
Oh the thinks you can think! Think and wonder and dream...far and wide as you dare! When your thinks have run dry, in the blink of an eye, there's another world there... (from Seussical the Musical. Listen to it...watch it...really.) |
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04-11-2002, 10:47 PM
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#176 |
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the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
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Come! We must ere away, the break of day, and find this Gas Station: it holds the Map to Mount Nokia!
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"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
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04-12-2002, 03:24 AM
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#177 |
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The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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The Cellowship rides on. At a short distance of the strange place called gasstation they dismount for Eruviel told them no horse was ever seen near the gasstation and they might be noticed by servants of the dark lord.
Eärniel: You know there is still one thing I don't get.... BeardofPants: What's that? Eärniel: Well We are in Middle-earth and we need to get to the so called 'real' world, right? Renille: Right. Eärniel: So we are IN Middle-earth and we need to get THROUGH the portal to get in the 'real' world, right? Tanoliel: Right... Eärniel: A gasstation is part of the 'real' world, right? Eruviel: Eärniel, what's the point of this reasoning? Eärniel: Well if a gasstation is part of the 'real' world and we haven't reached the 'real' world yet because we haven't reached the portal yet and as the gasstation was closer than the portal.... TinuvielChild: Yes? Eärniel*looks troubled* So what is this gasstation doing in Middle-earth? Elf Girl: Well it's really quite simple.... Eärniel:*looks relieved* It is? Elf Girl: Well yes, but I will have to tell you later. Eärniel: Why? Elf Girl: Can't have a decent story otherwise. All right people, let's move out! Eärniel, Willow you remain here to see to the horses and guard the counsellor. The TLA leave. Eärniel and Willow watch them go.
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We are not things. |
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04-13-2002, 08:17 AM
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#178 |
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Lurker
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlórien
Posts: 3,419
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I am going away for a week. *sniff* Now don't embarrass me like you did last time I went away for a week and you hadn't made a single addition to the plot!
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There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium... |
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04-14-2002, 06:43 PM
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#179 |
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Eccentric Chocolate Crow
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Emerald City--Seattle, WA
Posts: 1,861
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Aw...you guys are HILARIOUS! Really, this is sooo funny...but I'm sorry I can't think of anything right now, I was up for more than 24 straight hours yesterday and had an very interesting airplane ride...so I'll turn up later.
-tano
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Wisdom for Short Attention Spans...Ozy and Millie. It rocks. Food Of The Gods: 3,7-dihydro-3,7-dimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione Feed Me.... Another Online Dwelling Place... "All right, I confess. It is my intention to comandeer a ship, pick up a crew in Tortuga, to rape, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out." -Captain Jack Sparrow "The trouble with unknown enemies is that they are so difficult to identify." -Amelia Peabody Emerson "Most people obey the orders of someone who is pointing a gun at their head." -A.P. Emerson |
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04-20-2002, 05:29 AM
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#180 | |
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The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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Quote:
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We are not things. |
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