With a cry of glee that cut through the chaos of the room, the two hobbits sprang into action!

Bullroarer leaped right over Darth Tater. who was not very tall himself, and landed right atop the sturdy table, and began throwing pies as fast as you can say rocks and blocks!

"Pie Storm!" he roared!

Now, as everyone knows, hobbits are deadly accurate at throwing things and any creature with any sense would duck if it saw a hobbit stoop for a stone.

There were not many such creatures in this room and the hobbits had a field day!

" Eruve!"laughed little Gilthalion, right in the face of his imposing assailant, "That was the most delicious pie I've ever had on my face! But don't you know that no cream pie is a match for a Hobbit?" And the little hobbit jumped straight up into the air and caught one of the flurry of pastries that Bullroarer was flinging pell mell in every direction, spun in midair, and was about to plaster Eruve right in the kisser!

But Eruve ducked at the last instant and the whortleberry cream pie plastered Bullroarer instead!

Darth Tater, Dfsg, Niffiwan, and Shan (and even some fellow who thought he was safe lurking in the shadows), were all dripping with Bullroarer's pastry assault.

Even Blacksheep had been welcomed properly enough, for no sooner than he walked in the room and said "hello, everyone," he was hit smack in the face with a delicious boysenberry pie.

Almost everyone in the room was covered with a sweet, dripping sticky mess.

"Look!" cried Gilthalion. " Eruve, hasn't been hit with anything and she started it"

Eruve[b/]?
Look behind you.

*Eruve turns around only to be hit with a gooseberry pie from Githa and a blackberry pie from Bullroarer.

*Both hobbits laugh heartily*

(*ducks*)

*However, since Niffiwan was pushed into the Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi by Eruve he was saved from the stream of pies coming from Bullroarer. Niffiwan gladly drank up a quarter of the huge amount of the Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi that he was thrown into. Slowly, he inflated into a balloon as he drank the Pepsi up. Then, staring into the eye of every person in the food fight he said:*

Niffiwan: Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi befall you all!

*And his enlarged body shrank as out of his mouth came the regurgitated half-digested Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi that he had drank not a moment ago. Niffiwan turned around in a circle, making sure that every member of the party got their share of dosage, except for Eruve, which he gave twice as much as any other member since she had survived (almost) all previous attacks. Niffiwan then retreated into safety by diving back down into the gigantic bin of Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi, knowing that none would dare follow him there; the walls were made of metal, and he could breath in the drink, since that drink was the element which he belonged to by birthright.*

Mmmmmm... Lembas pie crust... Gives me strength, and since I'm already covered in the stuff...

*Eruve jumps into the Pepsi pool and pulls the drain, leaving Niffiwan temporarily weaponless. Then she jumps out again, neatly avoiding the grapes Gil threw on the floor. Niffiwan, in hot pursuit, unfortunately does not miss the grapes and falls flat and slides into the table Gil and Bullroarer are standing on, knocking all to the floor. Eruve lobs some honeycakes of the Beornings into the general mayhem.*

Now as everyone knows, food fights are an Old Tradition, and as such, has rules that simply are not broken. Niffiwan had broken one of The Rules. Food must be handled by hand!

By not only Spitting, which was Allowable in certain comic situations, like the time when his great-great-grand uncle Belushi caught the Sackville-Bagginses with a mouthful of mashed potatoes, but by actually regurgitating! Caffiene Free Diet Pepsi, as if the beverage weren't bad enough to begin with, Niffiwan had turned the food fight into something Sick!

The little hobbit turned a pale green, clasped his mouth tightly with both his hands, and ran out of the secret room as fast as his little legs could carry him!

He didn't look well at all, at all!

*Spits out grape that was lodged in his throat*

*Grape goes flying aroung the room, bouncing off walls, and constantly gaining velocity*

Hit the deck!

* Gilthalion slips under the couch with Bullroarer*

* IP and Tater grab the lids to the garbage cans*

* Niffiwan jumps into the Caffine-Free Diet Soda fortress*

* Eruve looks around stupidly*

Eruve: What?

Gilth: Take cov....

Bull: Shhh!!!!

Shan, who was gone for he wanted a good ol' dwarrrrrven ale with his brownies came accross poor little green Gil. "Shan, I saw you dripping with cream! Why are you so clean now???"

Shan: "You must have seen my old friend Jackal. He likes to dress like me! . But judging by your color, I better leave you now..."

He then enters the room and looks at everyone "Hi everyb..."

They all turn toward him, evil grins appearing in their faces.

Shan: "uh uh... I think I'll be going now!"

He manages to dodge the first few throws, but then he is overwhelmed by the number.

When the cream-pie induced dust filling the air settles, EVERY part of Shan is covered with food and he has a stupid *what-happened?* look in his face.

*Shan start to laugh heartily*

Johnny Lurker dives in, greedily eating all the food (flung or not) he sets his eyes on. Until...

... he notices the coating of regurgitated Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi!

*turns green*

"Excuse me."
-Nicholas Cage's character in The Rock.

It's about time you got here! I've got a secret weapon I've been saving for you.
*Eruve flings a gallon of poutine at Shan.*

Tater walks up to Niffiwan, who is lying on the floor.

"You have wronged us all!" Tater bellows. "This reign of Caffeine free diet Pepsi must end, now!"

And with that Tater dumps a gallon of pure sugar over Niffiwan's head.

"You want things to be hand-operated during a food fight?!" Niffiwan cries in rage, poking his head out of the Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi fortress. Ducking back into the beverage just before a muffin comes flying to the place where he just was.
"Well, how's this?" he says as he elevates to the top of the fortress and looks out at everyone through a tall tower. He brings his hands out from behind his back, and everyone is horrified to see that he has a huge bazooka-size weapon with a hose that goes down into the pool of beverage.
"Hand operated; see?" Niffiwan says sarcastically as he presses the trigger. A huge stream of water shoots out, so fast that the stream is painfull to the touch.
Everyone stands with their mouths open in amazement.
Niffiwan takes use of the opportunity and in a matter of seconds of precise aiming shoots the stream into everyone's mouths. When the stream reaches Eruve, however, the part of the mouth that the Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi touches immediatly turns to ash, as Eruve has been foolish enough to actually enter Niffiwan's Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi castle, therefor letting Niffiwan weave a certain spell on her which he would not have been able to weave otherwise.
After the assault, the castle refills again just as quickly as it had after Eruve drained it.

"Hum! Poutine, I'm ain't gonna dodge that!" says Shan while opening his mouth wide.

But saddly, he don't even have the time to taste it that Niffiwan has to waste it with his caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi stream.

Shan, *REALLY* upset takes his secret weapon the "two-days-old-and-warm-coke-of-doom". He quietly pooors a tablespoon of it in Niffiwan's castle of diet pepsi. The reaction is instant. All the caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi turns into boiling water. Shan then lock the spell so that Niffiwan can't turn it back.

Niffiwan, now cooking in his castle, hurry to get out of it, and therefore exposes himself to our wrath.

Shan "Hey everybody, look who is here...What will we do to this caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi tyran!? Eruve, you decide!"

*Niffiwan turns into a bottle of Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi before any harm can be done"
Niffiwan: Ha! You'll have to drink the bottle if you want to harm me!

BTW, the Niffiwan which Darth Tater got was a puppet used for the real Niffiwan to escape while everyone else was preoccupied with the copy.

Johnny Lurker, with a hand firmly planted over his mouth, dashes over to the bottle of Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi, pours it out, and then, before he can use the bottle...

"Oh, yuck! All over the floor!"

(Talking about the Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi, of course... what did you think I meant?)

don't mind me, just passing through..

*Eruve takes out pen and paper and writes (since her mouth has been rendered inoperational), "It seems nothing was left for me to decide. Shan and JL have most handily taken care of the Orc who would ruin our sugar highs. I bow before you both. Now can someone fix my mouth, please?"*

JUntel the Montrealer to the rescue of his co-citizen... Offers poutine ointment to heal the mouth.

Then goes out again of the Olde Invisible Thread of Room 221 (remember the dreaded room in the Shining?!), a vestigial remnant of an EZBoard bug.

Up, up, and away.......

Tater takes the bottle which was once Niffiwan and fills it with sugar.

"That should teach him"