The Drunk Elf Pirates and the Quest for the Holy Wine

[zavron]

zav: ''I wanna go to market to trade my cow, trade my cooooowww!! OHHHH!! Iwannagotomarkettotrademycow!!!!!!!

Xk: ''Shut-up zavron. right were off to market! and your not coming zavron!!''

*zavron gives Xk puppy-dog eyes*

Xk: ''Awwwww...now lets go.''

zav: ''Damn!!'' * goes off to corner and crouches and starts to scratch ear with leg.

[Earniel]

The first and second mate make there way to the market. As Elfmaster carries the fabric that they want to trade while Eärniel makes up the list of things that they'll need.

Eär: Let's see: Wine for the captain, chocolate, a left yellow shoe for Arathorn, chocolate, some cider for the captain, chocolate, gun powder for Tano, chocolate, a new lock for the room (the room is locked), chocolate, some cocktails for Elfmaster.... Yes, I think I've got everything.... Oh wait, I almost forgot! Chocolate for me!

XK: *eyes Eärniel wearily* Are you sure I shouldn't make the list?

Eär: *innocent look* No, why?

OOC:

[Elfmaster XK]

OOC:
---

The First Mate peered through a gap in the trees that edged the market plaza. It was busy now, the sun had risen and the merchants were eager for a days trading. Eärniel and EXK stepped onto the inticately tiled mozaic floor. The blues and reds stood out in the sunshine creating an impression of opulence. They realised this market would only buy the best of everything. Luckily the fabric they had brought along was velvet and satin. High quality at that, though there was not a lot of variety in colour. Still, if EXK's manipulative nature couldn't get them bartering, Eärniel's strong desire for chocolate would lead her into a furious fight. And she would win.

XK - So what do you think Eärniel?

Eär - Um...I'd say we try that one, he looks friendly, and doen't seem to have much green fabric. We've got a lot of green, and silver. (OOC, just for you EG,
SLYTHERIN PRIDE! )

They made their way over to the stall, and the man smiled brightly.

Trader - 'Allo.

XK - Did you just say hello?

Trader - Uh...yes, that's the usual greeting round here.

XK - *sighs* No no no...*elbow from Eärniel* OW!

Eär - Not now. Hello sir, we wondered if you might be interested in buying some of our fabric, beautiful, er...chinese Satin and Indian Velvet.

XK - Oh, yes, excellent quality, and Green seems to be the colour this season. And, what better colour to coordinate with that than silver?

Trader - *still glancing at EXK oddly* Erm. Yes, velvet. Let me see. *feels fabric* Hmm. I guess i could take some of this. Not the silver though. Don't like silver. Much prefer gold myself...

XK - *rolls eyes and mutters* reject.

Trader - What was that?

XK - I said...perfect. Gold and green *grimaces* Perfect.

They conducted their little interchange and continued around the market for a long while trying to sell all thier goods and acquire the supplies they needed. By noon they had succeeded and had also managed to get a local carry-boy to take their goods to the port, for a price of course. EXK had also spotted a black leather-bound book called "What's yer Poison? An almost complete guide to poison and antidotes," which she sneaked off to buy while Eärniel was preoccupied choosing several crates of Belgian and Swiss chocolate. The4y headed back to the Hospital to inform the captain.

XK - I'm sorry! But it will be useful!

Eär - *grabs book* No, it won't! I don't want to get in trouble for letting you buy this stupid thing!

XK - It' not stupid! *snatches it back and a small glass pendant falls to the ground. EXK and Eär exchange looks and EXK picks it up*

Eär - What is it?

XK - Looks like there's some kind of smoky something suspended inside it.

Eär - Cool! It's pretty, i want it!

XK - Nuh! Mine, i got it! You thought it was stupid...wait a minute. What are we fighting for?

Eär - *blinks* We never fight. *Both glance at the glass, then the book* Come, on, lets get back. We should tell the captain we got the supplies and a...er, few extra things.

XK - *cough*threecratesofchocolate*cough*

Eär - *cough*Poison*cough*

XK - *grin* Only a book of them.

Eär - *grin* At least we got plenty of wine. Okay, so it's human, but it'll get us through.

They wandered back to the hospital expecting to see the captain craving her wine, but she wasn't in the room with Sicirus, who was getting up, ready to leave. Zavron also had gone.

Eär - Hmph! I bet they went down the pub!

XK - *looks hurt* Without us!
-------

OOC - Almost forgot, for the benefit of everyone else... The Slytherin Pride thing is exactly that. Colours of Slytherin house etc. For EG. The bit about the gold and the reject is because gold is the Gryffindor colour, and we decided that everyone who didn't fit into another house got shoved in Gryffindor, therefore it is the reject house. And the 'Allo bit is from the movie labyrinth, or would be if Eärniel hadn't elbowed me in time Hope that clears some of my strange comments up!

[zavron]

zav: *grins sneakily* I've just sneeaken ouuuut!!! HAHAHA!!! No one can keep Old zavvy from his Dwarvish Ale!!! HaHaHa!!!

I looked over a bush and there was the market, I had nicked some things from the ship to barter with. I was good at Haggling. And I new what I wanted to get. For I had planned this for awhile. There it is!!! The shop I had been looking for!!

zav: Zavvy you've don' it again!!! *walks over to stall, pretending on the way to be not interested in the stall at all*

*The sign above the stall read: Magical objects and items for sale here! At Maggies Magic shop!*


*Behind the counter a toothless Old crone sit's*

zav: Hello Toothless Old crone!!

Oldcrone: I beg your pardon!!!

zav: errr...I mean...Look at that toothless old comb!!*fake smiles*

Oldcrone: *still eyeing him suspiciously* What be your name stranger?

zav: Thats none of your buisness toothless old crone!!!I mean...that toothless old comb really is interesting!! Isn't it!!

Oldcrone: Look here!! tell me what you want and Buggar off!!!

zav: I'd like to buy that Old green pendant there please!!The second sight stone, Ya'know the one that kicks in every so often, giving the wearer a second sight ya'know premanisions and everything. The one that wears it gets the ultimate knowl;edge of the Universe and everything!!

Oldcrone: What ya mean this!* points to stone pendant*

zav: yep!! Thats the Buggar!! I have this silver silk!!

Oldcrone: That'll do!!!Pleasure doin' buisness Sir!!

zav: Same here toothless Old crone...err...Bye!!

*speeds off in the opposite direction having no time to stop at the Pub because of the toothless Old crone chasing after him with a very sharp object and with the fear in his mind of were that sharp of object maybe going, and that is unspeakable of for day-Time viewing!*

[Earniel]

Meanwhile Elfmaster, Sicirus and Eärniel are trying to locate the captain.

Sici: You think she'll be here? It's already the fifth pub we're checking! You'd think a harbour should only be allowed to have one.

XK: Well you can see it this way, the more pubs we check, the more chance we have of finding her.

Eär: *tries to calculate the odds and frowns* I wish I had paid more attention during maths.

XK: Anyway, I'm pretty sure the captain is in here.

Eär: How come?

XK: *points to a wooden sign that says: Today Cider At Half The Prize!* That's why.

Eär: What? To correct their spelling?

XK: *sighs* See Eärniel, that's why I'm still first mate and you only second.

Eär: Does this have to do with calculations again?

XK: Er.... sort of. Now let's see if they're here.

They enter. Inside somebody is playing a pirate song. The ceiling of the pub is low and the tables and chairs are made of barrels. The typical fishnet hangs near the wall. The pub is filled with smoke and the not unpleasant smell of alcohol.

[gandalffan2525]

MAX: it's getting boring down here, odesent any one want to here my very long very interesting family history?, no, well, oh well,*whistles to self off-key*

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Toothless old crone! Why you little... And since when do I have a magic shop? I'm sure I would've remembered....

(Meanwhile on the ship everyone is getting sort of bored...)

Willow: What is taking Tano so long? It can't be that hard to check on Ninja and come back up on deck...

(Looks around at all the polished whatsits and bored, sleeping crew memebers and decides to go see what Tano and Ninja are up to.)

Willow: What exactly does the captain expect me to do as healer anyway? It's not as if I even know how, unless you count the really basic stuff that anyone with a dose of common sense can figure out. I wish they'd have given me time to take an inventory of the ships medical supplies before they left...

(As she was thinking this she opened the door to the brig. Oddly enough there was no one there, the room was empty, dimly lit and at the other end of the room there was an open door. A moment later Willow was back on deck slamming shut and locking the door that led to the brigg.)

Willow: The captain and the others had better hurry up!

[zavron]

ooc: I weren't talking about you!

[Willow Oran]

OOC: If you aren't talking about me then don't use the name Maggie. Maggie is me. ...growl... stupid 90 second rule....

[Sicirus]

ic: we walked into a pub that seemed to occupy pirats but mind you not elf pirats.

Sici: *smells air* at least theres alcohole here.

All: *nodds in agreemedt eyeing the pubs collection of wine bottles in the corner.

They look around and find hte strangest group of pirats while they search for their own comrad. They find a hobbit cloaked from the cold. Or at least cold to him. And some strange elves with clear looking strong wine that smelled extremely good. It reminde us of home.

ooc: Can't think of much now. Sorry.

[Finrod Felagund]

OOC: Don't worry I'm just visiting but...

IC: Finrod runs past Willow, screaming something about spontaneous combustion, he bursts into flame and dives overboard.

[zavron]

ooc: Different Maggie.

[zavron]

ooc: I'm going to make a great change in my carachter, but I'll still be a drunk.


I looked at the ship and than climbed aboard I crept to my cabin and there I looked at the Stone of what-do-you call it. I then placed the necklace over my head and a flood of knowledge past through my brain.

''Hmm...I'm feeling the sensational feelings of the inner equalibreum and superification of the habilinitator in the Midst of my granbiosalum.'' *says thiis extremely fast, puts tips of fingers together and straightens back and marches out of the cabin. Marches onto deck and walks back and forth on deck.*

[Elfmaster XK]

After much debate, and wandering in and out of the pub, over whether or not to let EXK alter the sign, she, Eärniel and Sicirus re-enter the pub for the third time. The smoke hangs thick in the air, and they split up. Siciru goes to the bar to ask if anyone had seen the cap'n.

Sici - S'cuse me sir, have you seen and elf, and outlander?

Bartender - no ma'am, can i get ye a drink though?

Sici - No thanks i...wait a minute. Okay. I'll have a pint please.

Bartender - Pint it is miss. Now, how will ye be payin?

Sici - *confused* Money? Is that not usual?

Bartender - Not from yor likin, nah. *puts pint down*

Sici - *Picks pint up and throws it over bartender, then walks away*

--

Eärniel walked over to the tables on the upper balcony area and searched for the cap'n. She couldn't see her anywhere, but soon spotted the cap'n's boots.

Eär - Eh? *picks them up* How odd. *Turns and goes back down the steps to the ground floor*
---

EXK headed straight for the games room. There were dwarves playing darts, and several elves and men playing pool, and the bar girls were all dancing on the stage. EXK laughed, as she noticed EG was also dancing, on one of the pool tables. She grabbed her wrist and pulled her away.

EXK - Cap'n! We have to go!

EG - Who the hell are you?

EXK - Your evil twin, now get off the table.

EG - But i'm a dancer!

EXK - No, you're a pirate, and pirates don't dance.

EG - Sure they do! *sways*

EXK - Come on *drags EG away, meeting Eär and Sici in the main room, and they all take EG back to the ship*

Once aboard they put the cap'n back in her room where she immediately falls asleep, and EXK joins Eärniel in the map-room. Eärniel is bent over her star charts and reading from a book when EXK enters. Eärniel hastily shoves the maps into a drawer

EXK - I brought you this. *holds out the book they had found the pendant in before.*

Eär - Why?

EXK - This was inside. *holds out a sheet of parchment, on which are lots of squiggles that could be a language* It's elvish isn't it, sea elvish?

Eär - *interested* Yes, a very old form though. I'd need to translate. Might take me a while.

EXK - That's okay, i think we've got the time.

*Suddenly Willow bursts in*

Willow - The room...the thing....Ninja...Tano...the thing...there was...lights...dark...things...rooms...ahhh!!! *collapses*

Eär - *Sighs* Are you and i the only members of this crew who aren't completely mentally unbalanced!?

[Earniel]

XK: *looks at Willow, still lying on the floor and then turns to Eärniel* Shouldn't we at least get her from the floor? It looks so sloppy having crewwomen lying on the floor all over the ship.

Eär: First things first. *picks up maps, papers and XK's parchment and locks them away securely in a cabinet.*

Together the first and second mate pull the faerie up and put her on a chair. Why they had to be with the two of them to pick up one little faerie is anyone's guess, really. Elfmaster wakes the faerie up again while Eärniel pours her a glass of the newly bought human wine.

XK: Here you go. *hands glass to Willow who downs it quickly* Now, can you tell us a little more coherently what's wrong? Did Tano put you near the iron again?

[zavron]

At that moment zavron marches into the room, and looks around.

zav: Hello may dear abravekays of the habrilegrium! What the constibularimilityablogato is arandiuomus on around this dereblia?

Ear and Exk look at each other and shake their heads.

Exk: Could you repeat that please?

zav: I said what the hell is going on here! Damn unintelectuals!

Zav brings out brandy glass from no where and swirls it round.

[Elfmaster XK]

EXK shivers and suddenly smacks the narrator out of the way, scribbling out "unintelectuals" and writing, "Intellectuals." The narrator gets very angry and smacks EXK back.

Anyway, EXK and Eärniel continue to comfort Willow, hoping to get something from her, while Eärniel rummages one handledly in a drawer for her ancient languages dictionary. Zavron sits in the corner of the room.

Eär - So what happened?
Willow - It was, Ninja! Ninja still there!
EXK - Where? Where is Ninja!
Eär - IN THE ROOM! THE ROOM IS LOCKED! BUT IT ISN'T LOCKED!

EXK and Eär exchange worried glances, and Eär shoves the book grabs the book, standing and leading EXK out of the room. They made a mentally, unspoken decision to tell the cap'n.

[gandalffan2525]

Max: Excuse me sir (to zavron), but if intelligent conversation is what you want we can discuss the sanedos theroy on yontesopasing, or just pall the day with disscusions of insampidible insiegnoiwds. *with a joyful look on his face at finding some one to talk to*

[Sicirus]

We gat dragged back to ship afetr 20 or some liquor pints. Exk started to dance on table. it looked like fun but we had to returne to the ship before the crew who stayed back screwed up the door in the basement of the ship.
We get on ship.

'screw it the crew ahs gone mad. The ninja has opend the door and the whale is speaking science. The horah the horah.
*Starts to dance the jewish dance the horah(sp).*

Sici: Whats in the "room" anyway?'
EXK and Ear look shocked then Willow runs in insanity off the boat and swims away from mad whale who thinks the he was going to get a scientific conversation from drunk elf pirates who only want some wine and a long nap.

[Earniel]

OOC: Oooookay.....

Elfmaster and Eärniel make their way down to the cabin of the captain, but not before putting Sicirus in a rowing boat with the order to retrieve the swimming faerie. Max the whale stops talking science for a moment, starts reciting CPR and decides to lend Sicirus a hand...well fin actually.

EXK: *nocks carefully on cabindoor* Cap'n? Are you awake yet?

voice from inside the cabin: Mmmmfrll.

Eär:*to EXK* Is that a yes-mmmmfrll of a no-mmmmfrll?

EXK: I don't know. It might just as well be an enter- and- I'll- run- you- through- mmmmfrll.

Eär: Glups...

EXK:*nocks again* Cap'n are you there? We have a little problem.

*silence*

EXK: Ninja went into the room. I'm afraid the room isn't as locked as it was before....