Return of TLA

[Renille]

Allie- Now that we've been saved from a very nasty death by our good wizard Zandalf here, I propose we all eat!

Sarah-Eat...what?

Allie- I don't know...I just proposed to eat! It's not my problem "what." Is the jello edible?

Katt-*Sack* "scoops" some out...and spits it out again.

Maggie- I think we take that as a no.

Zandalf- MUST I live with idiots?

Tano.- What on earth do you mean?

Hannah- *small voice* In the cave...

Violet- OH YEAAH! The cave! hee...forgot...

TLA- Oops.

Allie- All right. Is it locked?

[Earniel]

Sarah: *pushes against door* Yes. Drat! I'm hungry!
Hannah: Ha! Despair not! I will save the day! (and the meal)
all:*stare at Hannah*
Hannah: I mean stole the trolls' key. *brandishes key*
all: *continue to stare*

*crickets*

Hannah: *mutters* And these people go a-questing? No wonder they got caught that easily......

*Zandalf uses the key to open the trollcave. He makes his gnarly staff glow and walks into the cave. The rest trails after him. The inside of the cave is dry but dirty. Dust dances in the light of Zandalf's gnarly staff. On the floor lies a hoard of weapons: elegant elven knives, sturdy dwarven axes and the trustworthy humanmade swords and various other curious items. It is obviously the loot the trolls collected by waylaiding poor questgoers. Next to the hoard lie some yet unopened (and unspoiled) bags with foodsupplies. There is also a shelve on the wall, lined with jars of food. Elizabeth extends her hand to pick one. *

Allie: I wouldn't eat that if I were you....
EG: Why not? *reads etikette* elven archer stew... bottled by Bill.... IEW!!! *quickly puts back jar and vigouriously rubs her hands on her clothes*
Allie: Told you so.
Maggie: *points to foodbags* This looks like proper food...

*the TLA leaves the caves again with some none cannibalistic food*

Sarah: After the meal we can go loot the loot!

all: *stare at Sarah*

Sarah: What? I can't make silly puns?

*crickets*

Sarah: *mutters* I hate crickets.

OOC: I believe this is a splendid occasion to arm ourselves with weapons and other useless trinkets that might provide strange and outlandish plotwists. Make up for yourself if and what you want from the trolls' cave.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: weapons! yay! fun! thanks, Earniel

The assembled party ate of the non-cannibal food, until they were happy and full. The whole time Elizabeth was staring at the caves, thinking about weapons...she finishes first and jumps up.
Elizabeth: Let's go look at the weapons!
Tano: No one else is finished.
Elizabeth: Well, can I go?
Zandalf: We should wait and all go in together.
Elizabeth: Can I just go ahead on my own? Please?
Zandalf: Alright, but be careful!
Elizabeth: Yipee!!!
She runs back into the caves and stares at all the beautiful weaponry. She starts with the swords, going over each one carefully. Like the rest of the party, she does not know the ancient lore of the elves, whose weapons these are. But she knows these are very special weapons. She picks out her favorite of the swords: a light, two-edged longsword with a simple wire-wrapped hilt, and a leaf design on the quillons. The pommel is a dark green stone, and there is strange writing on the blade that she cannot read. She also picks up a small dagger, and considers a lovely bow, but leaves it because it's desperately in need of a new string and there are no arrows to be found. As she is putting the bow back, Tano, followed by the rest of the party, comes in. Elizabeth then sees a small buckler and picks that up as well. In a circle around the center are leaves in copper wire. Elizabeth grins, well-armed and happy.

[Claenoic]

Hannah: "Hmm..." *Looks around, then stumbles on a largish knife* "Ow! Hey..." *Pulls it out of its sheath* "Sweet..." *It's a crystal blade (very much real), with a elvish inscribed silver hilt and black leather binding. When she feels the blade, she finds it's very flexible. She lets the end go, and it makes a sound a lot like," TWOP!". She swings it around, and notices a red button on the bottom of the hilt* "Hey up! What's this for?" *She presses it, and it glows bright Urple. She grins and presses the button again. The sword turns off.* "Cooool... this is mine!"

OOC: The onomonapeia (sp?) " TWOP!", belongs to Camilla Sandman. Not me.

[Renille]

Allie- *Steps into the weapon crevasse, only to find...* The sword! The perfect sword! An ancient sword! MY sword!

Sarah- That's great.

Allie- And a BAG OF CHOCOLATE KISSES!!! WOW!!

Zandalf- NO! No chocolate! NO CHOCOLATE!

Maggie- There's alot of that here...I think we should bury it all to save until we get back. We might lose it otherwise.

EG- But...but...don't hide the chocolate!

Hannah- I think Maggie's right...

Zandalf- Me too. Hide it all. NOW. Allie...you heard me. ALL of it.

*But unbeknownst to anyone, Allie had found a bag of rare white chocolate kisses. So rare, in fact, that they reminded her of the chocolatestone. She had to keep them! And she did. But don't tell. *

[Nazgûl Queen]

Acacia: *absentmindedly talking to Wathalion* I'd like a sword... I wonder what you'd like, my friend?

Wathalion: A nice saddle, and make it snappy?

Acacia: Did you just talk?

Wathalion: *neighs and looks innocent*

Acacia: ...right...

*She goes inside the cave and starts digging in the piles of loot. Seeing nothing she likes, she mutters and looks around her. In the very furthest corner something glinting catches her eye. She walks over to it and digs through some rusted armour to find a beautiful silver saddle and bridle.*

Acacia: Nice... Wathalion would love these... but I want something of my own!

*keeps digging through the piles of stuff, collecting a beautiful mithril, engraved dagger and another blade which looks decidedly nasty (a morgul knife)*

Acacia: Well, these might come in handy sometime... but where's a nice sword?

*she looks jealously at Allie and Elizabeth with there beautiful weapons, and then bumps into Hannah accidentally*

Acacia: Sorry, I didn't see you there. I was looking for a sword...

Hannah: What about that one over there?

Acacia: Where?

Hannah: There, almost covered in chocolate!

*Acacia runs over to the pile, tripping over an old shield, a suit of armour and a bag of food, but eventually manages to dig through the pile of chocolate to find the blade. It is of mithril, elven make, and beautifully engraved. The hilt bears two emerald snakes intertwining around an emerald, upon which is carved the word Feamarth.*

Acacia: Feamarth? *the sword quivers in her hand* You feel almost magical... but thats impossible, I'm just imagining things. Nevertheless, I'm keeping you!

*she fits it into a jet black sheath and goes back outside to join Wathalion, carrying the silver saddle and bridle*

Acacia: These will look beautiful on you. *she puts them on Wathalion and steps back to admire the stunning figure of the Black horse in silver* You are truly beautiful.

Wathalion: Thankyou!

Acacia: I swear I'm starting to hear things... I think I need some chocolate. *goes back inside the lair*

Wathalion: Stupid humans...

[Earniel]

*As Acacia adds chocolate to her supplies, Sarah rummages through the pile of weapons.*

Sarah: No, too shiny.... *throws knife aside*, too expensive looking... *nudges elven sword out of the way*, too creepy.... * puts nasty looking barbed sword aside* hey what's this? *picks up a small object from the pile. She wipes the dust off and turns it around to get a better look. It's a whirring gizmo.*

Sarah: What is this thing? Oh well, it'll probably has no use anyway. *tosses the whirring gizmo back in the pile and continues her search* Nope, too big..., too rusty...., too heavy...., too conspicuous..., oh wait, this looks like something! *extracts a leather belt with two sheated knives from the pile. The knives are unadorned except for a small piece of lapis lazuli on the hilt and an engraved winged dragon on each blade. The blades are about one feet each. The hilts are wrapped in shark skin.*

Sarah: Cool! *takes a knife in each hand and whirls them through the air and inadvertedly cuts herself in the process* Cool!

*Sarah puts the knives back in the sheats and ties the belt around her waist. Next she picks up a helmet. It's surprisingly light and if Sarah had any knowledge of metals she would have known it was made of mithril. But she didn't. The helmet depicts a snarling cat* Cool!

Acacia: *still loading chocolate in her bags* Will you stop saying that already? You've said it like lots of times.

Sarah: Ooops, sorry. *takes the helmet with her and walks out the lair*

[Human#3.141592653]

And so, with little sharp intriguing pointy bits of metal safely tucked away in belts sleeves and what not, the groups heads off and their adventure marching rather primly in the mid morning sun. (Hey, if a five-minute conversation can span all night then it can be mid morning if I want to be, so there!) It, the sun, however decided to be very effective today, and so beat down with the force of a smith’s hammer. Soon the prim marching turn to slightly wilted marching, and then more wilted marching, and the more wilted marching became bouncy walking. The walking too, soon became wilted, and before long, the poor dried out souls were trundling rather pathetically.
All: *Trundle*
Elizabeth: “This sucks.�
And boy howdy, was Elizabeth right! It sucked indeed! Besides they were all wearing mostly wool derived clothing. It was all kind s of itchy.
Acacia: “My woolens are kinds of itchy!�
Then, Acacia has an epiphany.
Acacia: *gasp* “The CHOCOLATE!�
She ran to the bag where she had kept her precious stash hidden, but she was too late. Only a dark smear was left where there used to be a delightful treat…
Acacia: “NOOOOO!�
Wathalion: “Well, if any body’d ask me, WHICH THEY DIDN’T…�
Allie was standing close by, soon discovered the cause of the commotion. Horrified, her mind raced to her own chocolate stash. She vaulted over person and pony alike, hoping, wishing…
But hers too was a gooy goopy goop goop goo goopy goo goo gooy goopy…It was a mess.
The two cried and yammered away, while the rest of the group tried to be consoling and understand, but the words that every one were thinking popped out of Zandalf’s mouth first.
Zandalf: “You weren’t going to SHARE?!�
Suddenly, form behind that bush over there next to that tree over by…no the other one! There! Out leapt…
HumanPi: “ ‘’Tis I, Hamlet the Dame!’ �
*Crickets*
HumanPi: “Wait, that didn’t come out right…�
Sara: “Er…who are you?�
HumanPi: *shocked* “ ‘Do you know, sirs, that I am the greatest man living? I am the bold thunder!’ �
Elizabeth: “You appear to be a woman form where I’m standing.�
Human: “Quite you! That’s not how the next line goes!�
Elizabeth has had very little training in how to deal with lunatics. Um…ok, that’s not quite true. She had very little training on how to deal with this particular sort of lunatic. She thought it best to humor her and back away slowly. Surely, the madwoman would get distracted by something then go running off in a new direction.
Elizabeth: *Nodding smiling and slowly backing away* “So…what is the next line?�
HumanPi: “Er…I…I… I don’t know. *whines* I’m all confused!�
Elizabeth: “Oh you poor dear-WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!� *Points*
A brilliant ploy, and surely it would have saved the day, had not a large bag of apples mysteriously fallen unnoticed when Allie went leaping over head, accidentally knocking it to the ground with her shoe, where it lay, directly where Elizabeth had decided to randomly point.
Elizabeth: “Oh no…�
HumanPi: “It’s a large brown burlap sack with KC on the side that’s all lumpy most likely because it has small round object the size of a fist in it! I’ll save you!� *grabs stick and begins to beat the sack violently*
Tano: “NO! That’s a person!�
HumanPi: *intelligently* “Neh?!�
Tano: “That’s a person. Her name’s KC and…�
HumanPi: “You don’t mean…THE KC?!�
Tano: “Er…sure…�
HumanPi picks up the dusty sack with reverence, tears brimming in her eyes. She respectfully handles the fabric with care, and sets it back down arranging the folds and adjusting the slump so it looks nice.
HumanPi: “It’s an honor to meet you burlap bag…�
The Company is not quite sure what to do or say at this point. They are, to the strictest definition of the word, completely and utterly flummoxed. Until HumanPi climbs into the sack. There is a brief pause before Zandalf says:
“I don’t even wan to think about what kind of metaphor that one was.�
Sarah: “Well that was exceedingly gross. *pause* that’s not ht first time I’ve said that…�
HumanPi: *emgering, with a half eaten apple in hand* “Get yor mind out of the gutter! *Importantly* I’m reading in here…� *Pops back in*
Maggie: “Well…I suppose…as long as she’s not hurting KC…I mean…She is a rather large, durable burlap sack…�
And so, the company, after a brief and really weird pause, set off once again, on their long long quest.
Sarah: “Does any one else find this mildly disturbing?�
All: “Yes. Now let’s never speak of it again.�

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Yay! Eliza has joined us!!!

Maggie: Zandalf where are we?

Zandalf: We are about to cross the Brunien and from the we will travel to the fair city of Rivindell where we can rest for a while. For I must consult with Elrond on the path that we shall take through the mountains.

Maggie: (looks sad) My friends I must leave you for a while for I have some buisness to attend to.

Sarah: Buisness? What sort of buisness could be more important than this?

Tano: And where exactly does it require you to go?

Maggie: I can't tell, fear not, I shall return but you may not know me when we next meet.

(With these cryptic words she rides off into the forest)

Allie: Well... that was strange.

OOC: Don't worry, I'm not really leaving, and I do have something planned. Just remember, I have dibs on the map scene.

[Tanoliel]

ooc: Since I did not come in in time, I am going to insert this within the "weapons-getting" bit, neh?

Tano: Sword...*pushes away* knife....*pushes away*...all sorts of other stuff that I really don't know how to use...*pushes away*
Sarah: ....oh well, it probably has no use anyway. *tosses thing near Tano's foot*
Tano: Whirring gizmo...*pushes awa--* Waaait...what is that? *picks it up curiously* Hmm....weird. *it is about the size of an apple, and many colored lights dance around its whirring wheels and rings* Oooh. I'm liking this....I suppose it's as good as weapon as any. *sticks the whirring gizmo in her pocket, where it quiets down to a nice sleep in the warmth of wool*

ooc again: I shall take votes on what to name the whirring gizmo. If you have any ideas, post em on the discussion thread or PM me. And know that my camera is named Heloise...so weird is good.

[Earniel]

*the TLA-ers cross the Bruinen without incident... if you want to describe the witnessing of a bag of apples crossing the river by jumping from stone to stone as 'without incident' that is. Soon the mountains come in view.*

Hannah: *in awe* Is that the Loney Mountain chocolate factory?
Allie: Nope, those are just the Misty Mountains.
Elizabeth: I've always wondered why they were called the Misty Mountains. I mean, I don't see any mist!
Sarah: Well, they had to call it something I suppose. I doubt you can go around calling each mountainrange you see the Totally- undistinguished- range- of- dull- grey- mountains- that- has- no- special- feature-whatsoever.
Elizabeth: Good point.

Sarah: So Zandalf, where is this place Rivendell?
Zandalf: Between us and the mountains.
Allie: *looks around* That's a lot of space.
Zandalf: So it is.
Tano: Can you be by any chance a little more specific?
Zandalf: Mmmm, no.
*the TLA looks at each other, mildy alarmed*
Sarah: No?
Zandalf: Rivendell is supposed to be hidden. If I knew exactly where it was, it wouldn't be hidden anymore, now would it?
Sarah: eh?
Zandalf: Shut up and just follow!

*the TLA - stalked by a mysterious bag of apples and minus Maggie - follow the wizard. They ride through small untedected valleys and hidden gulleys. One houre later*

Hannah: Zandalf, are we there yet?
Zandalf: Almost, my friends.

*ten minutes later*
Acacia: Zandalf, are we there yet?
Zandalf: Almost, my friends.

*ten minutes later*
Tano: Zandalf, are we there yet?
Zandalf: Almost, my friends.

*ten minutes later*
Sarah: Zandalf, are we there yet?
Zandalf: NO AND IT'S STILL FAR FAR AWAY!

OOC: I felt like making a very long post.

[Claenoic]

OOC: Do you want to be referred to as Human Human? Or another name perhaps? The whirring gizmo's name is.... Breadlegs! No, Chickenfeet! Oh, why don't you just name it Mac? (That's one of my friend's names, except her real name is Erin, but she likes everyone to call her Mac).

Human: *Pops her head out of the sack* Hm? What's that?

*Everyone stops harassing Zandalf and stares at Human*

Sarah: What's what?

Human: That slightly funny song coming from the not-as-slightly visible Homely House coming approximately to our far left?

*Everyone tilts their head to listen*

Acacia: Yes, I do hear something...

*An elvish song starts getting louder, which we will appropriately mangle*

O! What are you doing?
I know where you're going
Your ponies need candy!
Th river is not flowing!
O! Tra la la lally
Over here in the inconspicuous valley!

OOC: Come on! Mangle as you will!

[Renille]

OOC- Mangle??Is this safe??? I love to mangle!

Elves-O! What are you seeking,
and where are you making?
Your packs are all reeking,
A laundry needs thanking
O! tri-lilililililolly-
Our names are not Molly!

Allie- Hannah, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

Hannah- Wha...I've never even BEEN to Kansas!

Human- SH! We need to hear this song!

[Human#3.141592653]

Elves-O where are you going
with beards all a wagging,
We're knowing, We're knowing
What brings Mr. Zandalf,
*and then in one breath*
And Sarah and Hannah and Allie, and Tano and Elizabeth and Acacia and Wathalion and MAggie-though-she's-not-really-here-but-here-in-spirit and a-large-burlap-bag-filled-with-great-green-apples-and-Human-whose-getting-a-mild-case-of-apple-poisoning-due-to-eating-too-many-apple-afore-mentioned-therein-
And, off the in distance, in the sweet smellign pines in the direction of the Last Homely House, there came the soft thud of some one falling to the suffering form axfixcia...esfixcia...axephictcia...
They fell down and went boom.
*Soft Thud*
*Boom*
A breif pause and the song continues:
Down into the inconspicuous long stretch of area between the vauled hills;
You're doomed,
Ha ha!
Tano: Doomed?
Hannah: I don't like the sound of that...
*Burlap sack rears up*
Sack: *omiously* Doom doom doom!
Hannah: I like the sound of that even less.
Tano: Oh, that's just Human.
Human: *popping out of sack* How'd you know?
*sack rears up again on it's own*
Sack: Because I don't sound like that, stupid! *Sticks out large burlap tongue and blows a large burlap rasberry*
Human: If you stick that slobbering muscle out of your oraphis once more, I'm going to chop it off and feed it to the turtles!
*Dives back into sack*

[Earniel]

OOC: LOL!

*A silence falls as some of the elves slump to the ground, slightly out of breath due to the rather detailed description of the TLA-members. Sarah decends from Chocolate and gives an elf, lying on the forest floor, a friendly nudge with her foot. The elf, still being breathless, doesn't respond. The other elves continue to sing.*

Sarah: So this is Rivendell eh? Oh dear.
Tano: Remind me again of the fact that elves are wise and noble creatures.
Elizabeth: Oh they are noble, they um.. just seem to be out of breath a bit.
Acacia: Maybe we shouldn't have come with such a large company....
Allie: Large? We ain't even with 13!
*voice of Human out of the sack of apples* Not if you count the apples!
Hannah: Not that I want bother you with anything but where does that bridge lead to? *points to very narrow bridge*
Zandalf: Aha, that's where we need to go. That bridge leads to Rivendell. Come on people, food and lodging awaits us!

[Nazgûl Queen]

Acacia: Mmmm... food... do they have Chocolate?

Zandalf: They have delicious lembas...

Sarah: Do they have chocolate?

Zandalf: They have fresh miruvor...

Allie: Do they have chocolate?

Zandalf: They have huge banquets of fresh fruit and vegetables...

Maggie: Do they have chocolate?

Zandalf: All the meats of the earth...

All: BUT DO THEY HAVE CHOCOLATE?!!!!!!!

Zandalf: *ignores them and continues to ramble on until he walks into a pole, then looks sheepish*

Acacia: Once again, do they have chocolate?

Zandalf: How do you expect me to know?

*they reach the door*

Elrond: Welcome to Rivendell. Here there are beautiful hot baths...

Acacia: Is there chocolate?

Elrond: ...nice soft beds...

Allie: Is there chocolate?

Elrond: ...beautiful soothing music...

Sarah: DO YOU HAVE CHOCOLATE????

Zandalf: Please, we have more important things to consider...

*TLA stare at him*

All: More important than... chocolate?

*draw various weapons and begin to advance on him*

Zandalf: *Backs away* I didn't mean it!!!

Allie: You insulted chocolate... for this you shall die...

Elrond: STOP! Please, mistress dwarf...

Allie: Dwarf?

Elrond: We have plenty of chocolate to satisfy you and your companions. Now, can you put those pointy things away so i can finish my lunch? You're all invited to join me.

Allie: If I must... does lunch include chocolate?

Elrond: Of course. We also have... *TLA ignore him and rush to the kitchen where they start to gorge themselves on chocolate*

Zandalf: Hmmmmmmmm....

Elrond: Indeed. *offers him his hand* Would you like to join me for some Chocolate Cake and icecream? And we can look at that map.

Zandalf: I'd love to. Anything to get away from them...

[Human#3.141592653]

OOC: (What does that mean any way???) Sorry, I dont mean for my posts to be so long they just end up that way....Also, I had two funny ideas...

Human stands in the stables face to face with a very grim looking horse. They glare at one another, which from the out side looks rather unusual as the horse has to turn its head side ways to see her properly.
“Yew,� says Human in a vaguely Scottish accent. “Yur a talkin’ horse aren’cha?�
“I assure you, I have no idea what you are talking about,� says Wathalion.

Back in the Last Homely House…
Sarah: I thought you were in the stables.
Human: Yeh, but the horses were looking at me funny.
Tano: Pip down and eat some chocolate.
Human: OOOH! Chocolate! *begins to stuff face*
The floor is covered cover rotting turnip green shag carpet, and the walls clash nicely with their sunny disposition yellow stucco that looks like it’s had random rancid bits of raw meat flung at it by escaped convicts of a Nunnery. Retro seventies beanbag chairs of various previously unknown colors are scattered about haphazardly along with weirdly shape furniture that is impossible to sit down on and a lonely, neglected lip-couch that no one dares to sit on pristinely pouting pathetically in the corner.
Human: No wonder they call it the Last Homely House…

[Claenoic]

OOC: LOL!!!! OOC = Out of Context

*Sarah relaxes a bit on the couch, happily munching a large chunk of milk chocolate*

Sarah: Does anyone know where Zandalf is?

*A head pops up from under the chocolatey deeps*

Tano: Don't worry and help me dig out this giant chocolate chip cookie!

Sarah: OOOOOOOOH!!!!! *Jumps in*

[Earniel]

OOC: Mwahahahah! Is it that easy to see through me?

*In Elrond's private study*

Elrond: *takes aspirine out of bathroom cupboard* You know, Zandalf, I never knew these... dwarves were so tiresome.

Zandalf:*uncertain* I'm not even sure if they are dwarves... they are short and everything but they've got no beards. Unless they shave of course.... But they are peculiar. Try hiking through the forest a few days with this lot. Renting a pony alone took ages! And they managed to get the weirdest ones available, let me tell you that. I couldn't even let them alone for one night to check out the road ahead and get some private pipeweed supplies. They ran into three trolls right away.

*Before Elrond can reply, Tano runs past holding a giant chocolate chip cookie, some of the TLA are in close pursuit.*

Elrond: *watches the small stampede pass, looks at the aspirine in his hand and heads back to the bathroom cupboard to get a second one while muttering to himself* Why, why didn't I go West with CelebrÃ*an? But nooooo, you had to stay here, didn't you? Keep the Last Homely House in business, eh?

[Willow Oran]

(Elrond's muttering from the bathroom as he searches for aspirin suddenly ceases and had Zandalf been listening closely he would have heard a muffled thud followed by a small cackle. A minute later Elrond emerges looking bouncier and suspiciously shorter...)

Elrond) Right now where we?

Zandalf) We were watching my companions run by in a mad stampede for chocolate.

Elrond) Right, so what about those swords and that map you mentioned.

Zandalf) Ah yes. The swords have runes written on them which I cannot read.

Elrond) And you expect me to be able to? Not only are you several thousand years older than I am, but you have the advantage of being a maia. If you're too lazy to read the runes yourself just admit it already and give me the swords.

Zandalf) [slightly frightened, this is not normal behavior for Elrond] Right... here are the swords.

Elrond) [Manages to get a hold of the swords without cutting himself] These are old swords, Not many can read the runes on these for they are written in the mystic Symbols Font whose users died out long ago. They say... made in Italy, in the fair city of Venice where my kin the many named People of the Gondolas used to dwell. Alas, that fair city was wiped out long ago and their lovely gondolas fell...

Allie) [slightly saner now that she's eaten chocolate and deciding to join in the conversation] Where did those stupid trolls get them?

Elrond) Stole them from the goblins who stole them from the Gondolas and hid them in the mountains. Allie, this sword is named Orc-Cleaver, use it well. Zandalf, this was Glamdring, Foe-Hammer that the King of the Gondolas once wore, it belonged to my great-grandfather so if you break it I'll kill you.

Allie) Cool! Sharp pointy objects with history!

Elrond) Enough of that, let me see your map so I can read hidden runes on it and make you guys feel inferior.

[Zandalf hands over the map]

Elrond) [holds it up to the flouresent light in the ceiling] What is this? There are moon letters here beside the plain runes.

Hannah) [coming up behind Allie and Zandalf] What are moon letters?

Elrond) Moon letters are rune letters that can only be seen in moonlight.

Hannah) Oh.

Allie) What do they say?

Elrond) How should I know? This isn't moonlight.

Zandalf) Surely if you can see that they are there you can read them?

Elrond) I can't see them, I was looking at a pre-scripted version of this scene before you came and I got it memorized.

Zandalf) [rather suspicious of Elrond's behavior at this point] How many of those aspirin did you take?

Elrond) [ignores the question because of the sounds hearable only to elven ear that are coming from the bathroom] They're supposed to say that when the thrush, or was it a goldfinch? Maybe it was a nightengale, I can't remember... Anyway, when some little songbird knocks on a gray stone the setting sun with the last light of some dwarvish holiday will show you the keyhole to the the secret door.

[As he finishes saying this Zandalf opens his mouth to speak but is cut off as the real Elrond knocks down the door to the bathroom and comes storming towards them]

The Real Elrond) Maggie!!!

Maggie) [losing the Elrond act] Uh Oh! [runs, Elrond chases after her pausing slightly to pick up a sword first.]

Hannah) So that's why she left before we got here.

Allie) Think we should help her?

Zandalf) Naw.