take the test who are you?

[Andúril]

Earniel knew, however, that her last post was absolute nonsense.

What?!? Crybaby! Can't handle me on your own, can you?! How did you get to die anyway? I never laid a finger on you, didn't NEED to.

"Did thy not hearest mine words of undefeatable wisdom? That is clearly the case. I shall, due to my increible mercifulness and grace, elaborate on mine message, in a tongue fit for a mere mortal uneducated chimpanzee to comprehend adequately. I shall this do, by quoting mine prior speech."

Little did everyone know, but Anduril had for four ages been restricted, more so than any other being.

"So, now thy seeth thine error of thought, thy dumb fool. "

. If my 'little power' as you put it was enough to scare the wits out of you...

Little One, can thou not perceive mine wisdom? Damnit yo! I was as Gandalf, yet many magnitudes stronger. Whereas mine name is rightly Oh_Wise_One, I was restricted to the frail structure that was Anduril. Affected by mortal wounds and emotional turmoil, was I. Although, no longer.

Thine "little power" is rightfully yours. It hath not been restricted nor limited. It hath been left to grow and evolve for many a year.

I control the Wide and Boundless Seas

"Really?" Oh_Wise_One commands the sea to rise up around Earniel, and she is thus captured in a cage of liquid bars.

"So much for your authority in these here parts" Oh _Wise_One smirks, for now the lack of autority of Earniel is only too clear.

[BeardofPants]

You can not command the sea, Anduril, she is not yours to command.

[Andúril]

Oh_Wise_One looks at BeardofPants. This sight amuses him. With his magical power (or art, depending on where you're from...), Oh_Wise_One calls the beachball to him, and the ball flies through the sky.

The beachball then hits Earniel on the back of the head - she never saw it coming. "Ow!! That hurt!" Earniel begins to cry. "You didn't have to go and do that!" Earniel sits down and sobs.

Oh_Wise_One points at BeardofPants. "Don't look at me, it was HER. Jeeeez...."

[Andúril]

You can not command the sea, Anduril, she is not yours to command.

This is a sign of inferior and lapsed knowledge. Get a grip!! Come to your senses! Think a little! Grow up!! Act your age, not your beard size.

[BeardofPants]

Oi! Don't speak that way to your elders. My beard is infinitely bigger than yours.

[Earniel]

Eärniel looks with pitty on Anduril sitting at her feet with glassy eyes and an insane smirk on his face and ugh drooling "Alas, the poor boy. He can not see the difference between the images that reign in his poor confused mind and the reality in which we life." She sighs as she listens to Andurils crazed muttering. "Obviously he has had too much pipeweed. He hears not my words of healing and wisedom. He hears only 'Oook Oook' "

"You imagine you have locked me into a liquid cage, humilated and sad. The more fool are you. How can one lock the daughter of imagination in a cage? She cannot be bound, she slips through like the great Sea itself. The Sea can not be tamed or bridled. She does as she pleases. Afterall where do you PUT the bridle?"

"BeardofPants is wise, you should heed her counsel as I told you before. Even the wise take counsel if it prevents them for doing something stupid."

She picks up the beachball and hands it back to BeardofPants. "Here take it, before he hurts himself with it."

Turns to Anduril. "Your halfwitted insults do not harm me. Yet I pitty you for your backwardness so you can not even begin to understand the power of the Sea. I am needed elsewhere so I will be gone for a few houres. *pats Anduril on his head* Be good. Do not annoy me much longer or you will learn the strenght of the Sea the hard way...."

[BeardofPants]

*Clutches Beachball obsessively to chest. Puts on armbands, snorkal and flippers.*

[Andúril]

*pats Anduril on his head* Be good. Do not annoy me much longer or you will learn the strenght of the Sea the hard way...."

As soon as Earniel touched the holy, sacred, and incredibly special flesh-manifested spirit of Oh_Wise_One, her hand burnt to a crisp.

Earniel: "Hey? How'd that happen? I'm a liquid, you know!"

Oh_Wise_One: "Exist as witness of mine power!"

Strangely, even though Earniel thinks she has command of the seas, and thus she may become as sea, she was henceforth oddly constrained to the cage. "Oh, now I get it!! The cage is made of ice!!! Oh, I am such an idiot!!"

Oh_Wise_One sighs. "It took you long enough, moron."

In all Oh_Wise_One's glory, he presses play on his portable DVD-Audio player, and lets one of his hectic hard-house tunes rip. "Yeah!! D.J!!"

This music is reminiscent of the Music of the Ainur, only amplified eighty-two thousand fold. Now Oh_Wise_One is unstoppable.

Suddenly, to all the onlookers surprise, both Earniel and BeardofPants have disappeared. What happened, you wonder?

Well, if you must know, Oh_Wise_One, out of his glorious imagination and wise wisdom, manifested a time-machine out of his many-faceted mind. Oh_Wise_One stepped into the time machine. This particular time machine works by hurtling the participant at a speed that is faster than the speed of light, thus going back in time (If you don't know what I am talking about, it seems you lack the wisedom and integrity of the Oh_Wise_One...). Anyway, the only reason why I manifested a time machine to take me back in time, instead of just going back in time myself, is because I wanted to. Get over it. Go lie down in a darkened room.

Thus Oh_Wise_One went back in time. He killed both Earniel and BeardofPants. He used the beachball and the armbands to kill both Earniel and BeardofPants. Use your imagination.

Then, Oh_Wise_One disintergrated the bodies of both, and disrupted their sprits, so that henceforth they no longer were.

Then, Oh_Wise_One went forward in time, and saw that everyone was amazed because suddenly his enemies (as feeble, frail and faulty (and also stinky and smelly) as they were), had dissapeared. Oh_Wise_One, however, was not amazed. He was bored. He needed new opponents. He needed new and worthy oppenents. They needed to be worthy...

[Andúril]

My beard is infinitely bigger than yours.

A very attractive lady you must be...

[Earniel]

Need now opponents? What makes you think you're finished with the last one? You cannot kill the sea nor burn her. Who do you think you are, the Persian King? You need help buddy. I also suggest you check your physics. Salt seawater DOES not freeze.

Eärniel rose before Anduril wherever he was hiding. Majestic she looked and no one dared to look upon her face."Fool" she said "Do you think you can kill the sea? I could have known your mind was too stupid to understand the strenght of the sea. The Sea has always been. From the beginning of the Song of the Ainur till the remaking of the world. She will be there. She is tied to the world, it can not exsist without her. The Sea belongs to every time to every age. I do not need a petty timemachine to get where I want. "(Incidently I also brought BeardofPants with me, no point in letting a supporter behind)

Eärniel looked down on Anduril. Her gaze was hard and Anduril had not the strenght nor courage to meet it. "I have giving you a chance to get out of my way without harm. You wished to ignore it. My patience has reached the VERY end. Feel now the WRATH of the angered Seas!" Eärniel threw her arms in the air and begin a mighty cantation. Anduril made a halfhearted yet useless attempt to beg for mercy but his wavering voice was lost in noice. Eärniel's voice was that of the waves that crash on the shore, of the wind that beats the waves high and that of the unspeakable terror that dwells beneath the blue waves.

A wind arose and loud it cried. The waves foamed as if cooking. Then Eärniel directed her power at Anduril.....

TIDAL WAVE

The watery onslaught crashed on Anduril, tossed him around like BeardofPants' rubber ducky. It bore him far away, out of Eärniels way and she finally subdued the raging waters. "There" she said "I can't believe all the fuzz he made because of one lousy comment. Jeesh!" Anduril never bothered her again for he feared the waters and became a notorious hydrophobe afterwards.

END OF INTERLUDE

[Radagast The Brown]

I am Legolas!!!

[Tar-Elendil]

how did i get pippin took?..

[Andúril]

Oh_Wise_One wondered how the hell Earniel and BeardofPants managed to come back to life. "Hmmm" he wondered. "I guess it was meant to be. Maybe mine fate and theirs' lie intertwined?"

Oh_Wise _One, in his glorious and frugal majesty, manifested an image like to himself, a wraith, if you will. This wraith was the foe of Earniel, and she who tried in ernest to defeat this unbeing, was absolutely unaware of the trickery.

Oh_Wise_One did this because he could not bring himself to violence considering the total vigilence that was thrust before him via challenge, was yet a grain of sand on the beach compared to the totality of the being of Oh_Wise_One. It seemed that a great concern had overcome Oh_Wise_One.

While Earniel fought valiantly with the wraith of he who was Anduril, Oh_Wise_One retreated into the wilderness overlooking Sirion. The vain attempts of BeardofPants and her colleague, Earniel, at overthrowing Oh_Wise_One, were now a trivial thought amongst a new turbulence of thought proccessess inhabiting his mind. Oh_Wise_One knew what he must now do. It was fate. It was written in the stars. It was the destiny of all those involved. Thus the doom of Oh_Wise_One began its beginning...

[Elf Girl]

You people are all insane. *everyone claps at this brilliant revelation*

[BeardofPants]

Erm.... So are you if you've been reading this drivel.

*munches on popcorn, in lifeboat* ...



..... *Suddenly realises that she has no drink, and the sun is scorching hot......*

[Andúril]

The tidal wave disperses, and Oh_Wise_One approaches Earniel and BearofPants. He hast now taken the form of one that is lowly, yet noble.

He comes within ten meters of his foes.

"Hail Earniel and BeardofPants!! Wilst thou join me in peace? Wilst thou drop thine weapons of war, and pick up thine spritis, in hope of better days?"

Oh_Wise_One relinquishes his title. He becomes, once again, as ii days of old....


.....Anduril.

[ladyisme]

I got Merry! Surpise surprise!
Actually I sort of like the idea.

"The road goes ever on and on down from the door where it began."

[BeardofPants]

Come Anduril! Let us fight the common enemy! Let us all join hands and be as one, one hope, one salvation, one war. Let's squelch those Legolas Lovers once and for all....

*Drops her panoply of war (armbands, snorkal and flippers) and swipes Andurils bottle of water*

[Menelvagor]

Now what would Anduril be doing with water?

[Arathorn]

He wants to remind himself where he's headed.