Star wars funnys

[trolls' bane]

Psychologist *to sandperson*: I think I've figured out your reasons for hostility. Based on everything you've told me, you are sick and tired of being stuck on this god forsaken desert wasteland, am I right?

[ayra]

Well, is he right?

Luke: So, are you going to train as a Jedi?
Force Sensitive person: I don't know. What is your link to the Jedi?
*Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin appear. They start offering explanations*
Yoda: He was trained by two Jedi.
Force Sensitive person:
Obi-Wan: Not only that but he is a Jedi.
Force Sensitive person: But...
Anakin: I was a Jedi and he is my son.
Force Sensitive person: Still...
Luke: What in the name of the Force are you doing here?
*All three vanish*
Force Sensitive person: I think I get it. Sure.

[me9996]

Obi-Wan:Use the fork Luke.
Luke skywalker:Um, don't you mean the force?
Obi-wan:No, use the fork when eating! I kept getting after your father for not useing his fork!
Luke skywalker:Maybe that's why he went to the darkside, not useing his fork...
Obi-wan:...You aren't takeing me seriously, are you?

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by trolls' bane

Psychologist *to sandperson*: I think I've figured out your reasons for hostility. Based on everything you've told me, you are sick and tired of being stuck on this god forsaken desert wasteland, am I right?

Sandperson: well...when you put it that way...yeah, kinda. But I really don't mind bopping people on the head.

[durinsbane2244]

Qui-Gon: so...jar-jar...you busy tonight?...*shifty*

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by durinsbane2244

Qui-Gon: so...jar-jar...you busy tonight?...*shifty*

I don't want to know here that's leading...

Sidious: May the force be with you...

Jar Jar: Thanks, Meesa!

Sidious: My name is not Meesa...

Jar Jar: Ok, Meesa.

Sidious: Shut up!

Jar Jar: Right, Meesa.

Sidious: Arggh!....

Jar Jar: I'm frustrated too, Meesa.

Sidious: It's because you're saying meesa that I'm frustrated!

Jar Jar: I know, Meesa. Isn't it so annoying?

[ayra]

Good one.

Luke:So, my father joined the darkside because of not using his fork?
Obi-Wan:Maybe, you might too.
Luke:What does the darkside pay?
Obi-Wan:Why are you asking me? I don't know.
(Both sit and think a minute)
Obi-Wan:You should ask the Emporer or Darth Vadar.
(Luke is thinking positively)
Obi-Wan: Not by the name of Luke, of course.
Luke: Ok
(Luke goes in the disguise of a musician)
Luke: So, Emporer, what does the darkside pay? I'm just curious.
Emporer: Death, death, death, and more death.
(counts off on fingers)
Emporer: Why do you need to know?
Luke: Oh, I just wanted to tell some guy by the name of Luke Skywalker.
Emporer: Oh, in that case, it pays a million credits.
Luke: I'll tell him.
(Back with Obi-Wan)
Luke: They pay two ways. 1. Death, death, death, and more death.
(counts off on fingers)
Obi-Wan: And the other?
Luke: A million credits.
Obi-Wan: Hmmm,
Luke: I ain't joining, don't you either.
Obi-Wan: Nuts

[me9996]

(At Obi-wans hut on tatooeen (More bad spelling!))
Obi-wan:You must become a jedi like your father before you!
Luke skywalker:But my father was a spice-
(Enter wierd guy holding a wierder blue rock)
Wierd guy:Exuse me, does anyone know what this rock is?
Luke skywalker:Um, no. Could you convince him that my father was a spice-
(Old wierd guy comes in)
Old wierd guy:You must be more careful with that rock!
Wierd guy:Huh?
Old wierd guy:It's more valubul that you could ever imagen!
Wierd guy:Um, okay...
(The wierd guy and the old wierd guy leave)
Obi-wan:What was that about?
(Did you catch my ever so suttle Eragon refrance? )
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Obi-wan:Use the force!
Luke Skywalker:Okay
(Luke Skywalker draws out an oversided and extreemly RPGish weapon)
Obi-wan(Bewildered):What is that?
Luke Skywalker:It's the force!
Obi-wan:Huh?
Luke Skywalker:See the label?
(Luke Skywalker points out a small label on the weapon that says "the force")
Obi-wan:That's not what I ment.
(Over on a star distroier, darth vader has another "The force")
Sidious:What is that?
Darth Vader:It's the force! So this is the thing everones been talking about for milenia!
Sidous:Wha'???
Darth Vader:I wonder which side is the dark side?
__________________
Luke Skywalker:I am the evilest lawn gnome in the star war univerce!
Obi-wan:Luke, you have lost it.
__________________

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Originally Posted by me9996

(Luke Skywalker draws out an oversided and extreemly RPGish weapon)

Hmm...

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by me9996

(At Obi-wans hut on tatooeen (More bad spelling!))
Obi-wan:You must become a jedi like your father before you!
Luke skywalker:But my father was a spice-
(Enter wierd guy holding a wierder blue rock)
Wierd guy:Exuse me, does anyone know what this rock is?
Luke skywalker:Um, no. Could you convince him that my father was a spice-
(Old wierd guy comes in)
Old wierd guy:You must be more careful with that rock!
Wierd guy:Huh?
Old wierd guy:It's more valubul that you could ever imagen!
Wierd guy:Um, okay...
(The wierd guy and the old wierd guy leave)
Obi-wan:What was that about?
(Did you catch my ever so suttle Eragon refrance? )
__________________
Obi-wan:Use the force!
Luke Skywalker:Okay
(Luke Skywalker draws out an oversided and extreemly RPGish weapon)
Obi-wan(Bewildered):What is that?
Luke Skywalker:It's the force!
Obi-wan:Huh?
Luke Skywalker:See the label?
(Luke Skywalker points out a small label on the weapon that says "the force")
Obi-wan:That's not what I ment.
(Over on a star distroier, darth vader has another "The force")
Sidious:What is that?
Darth Vader:It's the force! So this is the thing everones been talking about for milenia!
Sidous:Wha'???
Darth Vader:I wonder which side is the dark side?
__________________
Luke Skywalker:I am the evilest lawn gnome in the star war univerce!
Obi-wan:Luke, you have lost it.
__________________

More great stuff!

The second and third are gread. If I had room I'd ad the last one to my sig.

[me9996]

Originally Posted by Gwaimir Windgem

Hmm...

That's not what I ment I ment like in one of those roll playing games, espeshaly the flash ones were you just play the roll of some guy wandering around looking for adventure...

And what I ment by an RPGish weapon was that it resembled the style broght on by some flash RPGs (Not the rocket launchers)
(I'd give an exemple of what I ment but it'd count as advertizeing)
__________________
Luke Skywalker:Hello Mr. Kenobi
Obi-wan:Huh?
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Obi-wan:I wonder what's with me9996s outside refrances lately
Luke Skywalker:I don't know...
(Lightning strikes Obi-wan)
Obi-wan:Were'd that come from?!?
Luke Skywalker(Looking up):The sky...
Obi-wan:I mean we're on a desert planet...
(Pause, a long pause)
Luke Skywalker:What's that?
Obi-wan:What's what?
Luke Skywalker:What? What's what?
Obi-Wan:What what? What's what?
Luke Skywalker:... What?
Obi-wan:You said 'What's that'. What were you talking about?
Luke Skywalker:That.
(Luke points to 4 hobbits, 2 men, a dwarf, an elf, and a wizard walking along)
Obi-wan:They're just trying to get rid of a ring of power.
Luke Skywalker:Oh.

[ayra]

Good one.

Obi-Wan: Whacha doin'?
Luke: Whastit look like?
Leia: Why are you guys talking like that?
Obi-Wan: Waddya mean?
Leia: I mean, you are supposed to be Jedi Knights, you should have good grammer.
Luke: I failed in that class
Obi-Wan: I never took that class
Leia: Of course you guys would fail ar not take it! Your men!
Luke:
Obi-Wan: You mean that your better at grammer than ME???
Leia: I took that class

[ayra]

From the last one...

Obi-Wan: YOU took that class?! I'M the one who should know everything without taking the class!
Luke:Why? I mean, ain't girls better at english than men? My aunt was.
Leia: Whose aunt? And its aren't not ain't.
Luke: See what I mean? They are.
Obi-Wan: I get it. They are better, but I still think I should be better at everything without taking the class.
Leia: Finally you guys admit it.

[me9996]

Luke Skywalker:Use the force Luke!
Obi-wan:That's my line.
Luke Skywalker:Oh, so it is, my bad!
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Qui-gon Jinn:I can grant you 3 wishes Luke...
Luke Skywalker:Huh? Aren't you before my time?
Qui-gon Jinn:That's why you can see right through me.
Luke Skywalker:Too wierd!
(Obi-wan shows up as a jedi aper... aperation... something like that)
Obi-wan:Hello Luke.
Luke Skywalker:Hey Obi-wan.
Qui-gon Jinn:You freak out about me but barely nodice him!
Luke Skywalker:Oh, wait... Is Obi-wan a ghost?!?
__________________

[ayra]

Originally Posted by me9996

Luke Skywalker:Use the force Luke!
Obi-wan:That's my line.
Luke Skywalker:Oh, so it is, my bad!
__________________
Qui-gon Jinn:I can grant you 3 wishes Luke...
Luke Skywalker:Huh? Aren't you before my time?
Qui-gon Jinn:That's why you can see right through me.
Luke Skywalker:Too wierd!
(Obi-wan shows up as a jedi aper... aperation... something like that)
Obi-wan:Hello Luke.
Luke Skywalker:Hey Obi-wan.
Qui-gon Jinn:You freak out about me but barely nodice him!
Luke Skywalker:Oh, wait... Is Obi-wan a ghost?!?
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All right! I like the second a lot.

[me9996]

Thanks!
__________________
Darth Vader:*Hums darth vader theme*
Luke Skywalker:Cool! I want a theme song too! I want a theme song too!
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[me9996]

(Han Solo is standing in a barber shop dressed as a barber, enter Obi-wan)
Obi-wan:Hello, I'd like a little off the top.
(Obi-wan sits in the barbers chair)
Han Solo:Okay...
(Takes out razor)
Han(To self):Okay, just a little off the top...CUT! BLOOD! STURT! DEATH! HAHAHA!
(Pulls hand back)
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I don't know why I like sticking Han Solo with mental problems...

[ayra]

Well, it sure fits him.

[me9996]

Yoda:All your base are belong to us!
Mace Windu:Yoda, you're makeing less sence then usual.

[ayra]

Originally Posted by me9996

Yoda:All your base are belong to us!
Mace Windu:Yoda, you're makeing less sence then usual.

Why? Cause he's got to much stuff? Been too busy? Been in charge too long?
Still real funny...

Yoda: I betcha I can beat you at a game.
Anikan:Oh yeah? I bet I can beat you .
Yoda: Try and catch me. Then I catch you.
Anikan: No fair. You're smaller.
Yoda: Come on, you said you could beat me.
(He's jumping about like a mad-umm, thingy)
Anikan: You're mean.
(He walks off. Yoda looks at him reproachfully)
Yoda: A quiter are you?
Anikan: Against that, yes, something else, no.