Fellowship of the Ringwraiths

[Grey_Wolf]

To prove that the horses were indeed Meara stock Witchie pulled aside the mane of one of the horses. There could be read.

By appointment of Royal Rohan Court and the Rohirrim Cavalry Trooper Commission this horse is a proven MEARA tm.

[CrazySquirrel]

""Oh, Khamul,the Eastern Fox, ever resourceful are you?" muttered Wikkie
His thoughts were interrupted by Lily's screech "MY BAG! My bag at last!"

Lily rushed to it and soon was purring softly to herself examining the contents. Yes, here was her favourite garb: chainmail bra and helm, sexy looking high-heeled leather boots and a kilt of ornate metalwork. On top of that, for decency sake, Lily put a long bright red skirt slit to the waist.

Then, she proceeded to put on her war-paint, mascara to eyelashes and bright red carmin paint to her lips and nails.

[Grey_Wolf]

"Lily, baby, you're a regular Goth girl, aren't ya?" the other minor nazgul shouted, exaltedly.

[CrazySquirrel]

Lily could have blushed if she were still mortal. As it is, she has only screeched on top of her voice:

"I have nothing to do with Goth! At least not anymore, not for the last two millennia! And don't you revive the old stories!"

Goth laughed, aw well as the others. Actually, Lily had "stories" with all of the guys at one time or another.

Gor, dressed in splendid, but totally uncongruous evening dress , shook her head disapprovingly.

[Grey_Wolf]

Which made her loooong pitchblack silky hair swivel about her loooowww-cut back and front and showing off her magnificently shaped feminine charms.

Khamul and Witchie gawked, their mouths dropping open.

[Gordis]

Soon all the nine were dressed. Goth was resplendent in a marine pull with an anchor and an inscription in fine Tengwar script “Numenor”. Five and Eight were dressed in oriental fashion, all reds and yellows, and sported a lot of gold trinkets.

The ugly tattered cloaks were packed into the saddlebags, as the weather was hot and nobody was around anyway.

“Now get mounted, we ride” ordered Wikkie

The Fellowship merrily rode on singing songs, shreeking "Speed and Secrecy" and sometimes "Speed and NO Secrecy" and drinking wine that was now in abundance thanks to joint effort of Khamul, Mor and Five (who was punished by Wikkie and not given any strawberries). The two leaders trailed behind wanting to have some privacy for a serious talk.

"Asss far asss I know" hissed Khamul " there is no Sssire in the Vales of Anduin. I have been the Lord of Dol Guldur for 60 yearsss now and I ssshould have known of thisss country. I have ssspies on the Wesst bank! We mussst move Wesst over the mountainss to continue our ssearch!"

"These are NOT my orders", replied Wikkie coldly. The Master told me to search in the Vales of Anduin, and that I am going to do. I will not go over the mountains before I get new orders".

Khamul hissed, but said nothing, not daring to reveal to Wikkie the hidden Palantir he possessed.

"Moreover", continued Wikkie, "the Shire may well be within the borders of the realm of the White Witch. How can you know what kind of creatures live there apart from golug-hai?

"So we ride North" said Wikkie with finality. And on they rode towards Lorien

[Lotesse]

As they rode onward, Viv leaned down, pulled up her pantleg, and absentmindedly sctatched her calf.'Thank Melkor that Mor thought to bring me my own clothes-case', she thought to hereself. 'I wonder whose sick idea of a joke to play on me that crazy outfit was, anyway. Oh, well, feels good to be back in my grey hoodie and baggy Dickies'. At that moment, a misplaced little sound caught her ear. Something kept stangely clinking in the saddlebag next to her leg, and it definitely wasn't the sound of wine bottles.
Curious, she casually lifted up the edge of the bag's flap and peered in. Was that - steroid shots? And "animal speed"? She let the flap fall back down and pondered this discovery privately, realizing this meant someone was drugging the "Mearas" and pawning them off as the real thing. She instinctively felt it might be unwise to reveal her realization right away to the others; why rock the boat, so to speak? (A phrase that bears especial significance with the wraith crowd).

[Gordis]

“We are travelling for two weekssss now”, said Khamul irritably, “and we have learned nothing. The Massster ordered us to quessstion everybody we meet on the way.”

“But we have met no one!”, cried Lily.

“I have not given you permissssion to sssspeak, woman”, hissed Khamul, earning an angry glare from Lily.

“Well, she has a point here,” said Wikkie. “All living things scatter at our approach.”

“There mussst be elven guardsss at the borderss of the realm of the White Witchh” said Khamul. "We musst ssend ssomeone ahead to sscout.”

“Good idea”, said Wikkie, eager for a stop and a drink. “You can go yourself if you wish, Khamul.”

“I am too sssscary,” hissed Khamul. “Let us sssend sssome girlsss.”

“You think we are less scary?” asked Lily.

“You are far too noisy to scout,” said Wikkie. We shall send Gor and Viv.

[Grey_Wolf]

"Let's send the little girls. They're less prone to scare people I think and better at being stealthy." Wikkie continued.

[Grey_Wolf]

As they now passed between Lorien and the Misty Mountains they sent Gor and Viv ahead as mildmannered scouts, which hopefully would not be half as scary as the guys usually were.

Grumpily the two rode off on their unwanted mission.

[CrazySquirrel]

“But I want to go!” screeched Lily. “I adore elves. They are SOO sweet!”

Khamul and Mor laughed. While Lily was stationed at Dol Guldur with them, all the dungeons were full of golden-haired Mirkwood elves. Lily always brought an unconscious elf with her when she returned back from her hopping through the wood as a Crazy Squirrel. What she did with them in the dungeons no one really wanted to know, though elves’s screams were a music to everybody's ears..

[CrazySquirrel]

“Well, Lily, you can go with Gor and Viv”, sighted Wikkie. “But you must be quiet!”.

“I shall be quiet like a dead fish.” promised Lily.

“Find an elf and ask him where is the Shire. Put the shroud on.”

“Yes, Captain” replied Lily brightly.

Lily, being the Number Six, quickly assumed the command of the mission, ordering Gor (No 7) and Viv (No 9) around. Soon, shrouded and quiet, they rode towards the eaves of the Golden Wood.

“Well, guys”, said Wikkie contentedly, “Let’s have a good QUIET party”.

[Lotesse]

As their horses loped along toward their destination, Gor and Viv pulled back behind Lily. "Psssssst! Gor! Hey, check it out, I brought us a couple bottles for the road!"
"Nice!" Gor's red eyes flashed an appreciative red. "Should we share with Lily?"
"Not if she starts that whole 'I'm the boss' trip! Here, take a swig real quick." Viv reached down to her saddlebag and whipped out an already opened bottle, corked it with her teeth, spat out the cork, took a swig and passed it underhandedly to Gor as they continued to canter along. Gor glinted Viv a snappy red wink as she drained the bottle, and Viv bit the back of her own hand to prevent herself from emitting a conspiratorial giggle-screech. And on the three of them went.

[CrazySquirrel]

Haldir, the Marchwarden of Lothlorien, was sitting in a tree. His watch was turning as ineventful as usual, so he took out his pocket mirror and comb and started combing his beautiful, long, shiny, glossy ash-blond hair, singing a song abouth the love the fiery Feanor once had for their Lady Galadriel.

Suddenly Haldir's noble pointy ears prickled. There was a sound in the wood Horse hooves! and something like girlish giggle!
He caught the smell of horses and wine and strawberries. But there was no accompanying smell of riders, neither elf nor human, nothing.

Cold feeling of uneasiness crept towards the elf.

[Lotesse]

"Mmmm, you see that up there, you guys?" As they slowed their stride and approached the borders of Lorien, Viv caught a glimmer of rippling gold from up one of trees. Lily saw it, too, and was instantly intrigued. "What a yummy looking elf - oh my Melkor!"
"Does he detect us, you think?" Viv was beginning to grow uneasy; being this near these kind of elves was definitely not her idea of a good time. Leave it to Lily; after all, she'd opted to lead this little jaunt and anyway, she was into these kind of elves.

[Gordis]

Gordis shifted uneasily, it has been quite some time since she has seen an elf. At least a thousand years, for sure. Still she remembered their strong unpleasant smell and painful glow of their fea. "What should we do, Lily?"

"Listen to me girls. First we tale off those rags". said Lily and shook the shroud off. "That will stun him all right."

And it did. With bulging yes Haldir watched the three figures before him. One was dressed in a black evening dress adorned with diamonds, the other was in grey hoodie and baggy Dickies'. The bad thing was that neither of them had a head.

The third horse bore the worst apparition. The saddle was draped in something bright red. A chainmail bra was hovering in the air. Above were two red lights as of eyes, framed by long black eyelashes. Two bright red lips floated below smiling.

"Don't you think, my dears, it has got nice legs?" asked a shrill voice.

[Lotesse]

"Are they nice, are they tasty? Are they crunchable?" giggled a slightly tipsy yet nervous Viv, making no attempt to tone down her natural bent toward arbitrary sarcasm. Gor rolled her eyes and gave Viv a little kick on the shin. "Vi-iv, knock it off! Let Lily do her thing, and keep your mouth shut for the time being. She knows what she's doing."

[Grey_Wolf]

Haldir, now in a bit of a panic, lifted his loudspeaker to sound the alarm when suddenly he felt himself gradually become paralised and a headless voice spoke to him.

"Now be a nice little elf and put that loudspeaker away and come down to us and we'll have some fun."

[CrazySquirrel]

Lily flached a wink with her red eye: "Look how it is done, girls"

She started a long incantation. The Elf, however, didn't seem much affected by it. He even recovered his senses somewhat and made as if to run.

"Morgoth's Sh..." shrieked Lily angrily. Quick as a lightning she retrived a sling from her saddlebag and let fly a small round stone. Hit in the head, the Elf collapsed to the trio's feet.

[Grey_Wolf]

Haldir was beginning to run through the forest flat out when...SMACK!!, something hit him in the back the head, he had time for short:

"Oh, God, that hurt!"

Before he fell like a tree Smunk! onto the soft leaf-covered ground only a few meters from the Wraiths and everything went dark for him.