My 1st RPG in a year!

[Amea]

Devak: Let's see.... Let there be food!!!! *food begian to fall from the sky and land in large piles*
Set: cool!
Tshik: YAAAAYYYY!!!!!!
Devak: *looks at gandalf* Well guess what,
Gandalf: What?
Devak: I've stolen the job now so NEAH!! *sticks out tounge*

[elixir]

*Adrian eats with pleasure. Others also have a snack. Devak is still glowing. Tshik hops up and down and yays from time to time, Gandalf sits alone in the corner*

Gandalf: I was supposed to bring light. *Wails*

Jack: Well, I suppose you can make your light too...

Gandalf: Really?

Jack: Sure. Go ahead.

*As Gandalf happily stands up, takes an heroic pose and tries hard to look as powerful, wise and pretty as possible, and makes some more light*

Tshik: *Stops hopping and gazes in awe* Oo!

Devak: What?

Adrian: *eats*

Eowyn: Iik!

Jack: Aaa!

Set: Nice!

*More light revealed something they hadn't seen before. A huge purple oliphaunt*

[Amea]

Occ: Purple?
Ic:
Devak: So you turned the lights off?
Oliphaunt: Yeah maybe I did, What are you gonna do about it?
Devak: This *grabs the tusks of the oliphaunt and twists them and the oliphaunt falls to the ground*
Tshik: *bounces up and down on the downed oliphaunt* wheeeee! this is fun!!!
Devak: *walks up to random wall and starts to hit her head agenst it* I'm surounded but idiots!!!!

[elixir]

ooc: Purple indeed. Or perhaps lilac. With a yellow tail.

ic:

Eowyn: Calm down, Devak. It's not its fault *looks carefully at the oliphaunt to make sure it really is downed* that it's stupid!

Adrian: *Eats*

Jack: For some reason I think she meant all of us.

Eowyn: Are you suggesting that she called me stupid? Me???

Tshik: Yay!

*Eowyn gaves Tshik a look that can kill. It doesn't kill him, but Tshik stops yaying and remains quiet for some time*

Gandalf: *To Devak* Now you know what I've been feeling most of my long, long, LONG life.

Oliphaunt: Ouch! It hurts! And I'm all twisted now...

[elixir]

Eowyn: Now what?

Adrian: Dessert!!!

Gandalf: We were supposed to go and save these little cute beings from the big bad guy. I don't think we did that.

Jack: What little cute beings?

Gandalf: Good question. We will find an answer when we get there!

Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt: Can I come with you? Please? I promise not to switch off the light any more. I'll behave!

Tshik: *silence*

Jack: *surprised* No yaying?

Devak: I think Eowyn killed his voice with her look.

Tshik: *silence*

Eowyn: Really? Wow. I'm powerful!

Tshik: *silence*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Set: I think Tshik is embarrassed.

Gandalf: Why?

Set: Well, he thought it up, didn't he?

Eowyn: Thought WHAT up?

Set: The Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt.

Jack: I thought that was Eowyn.

Devak: So did I.

Eowyn: Hey!

Set: Does it really matter? It could come in handy.

All except Tshik: How?

Set: Watch.

*The Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt raised a foot and stomped on the pile of food that Adrian was currently knawing on. Adrian started to cry, and Tshik started to laugh. Eowyn gave Tshik another look and he stopped abruptly. However, two seconds later Eowyn fell over from a huge blast of hot air from the trunk of the Oliphaunt.*

Gandalf: Well, it seems that Tshik controls the Oliphanunt.

Jack: Congratulations. You win the prize for most obvious statement of today. Keeping your record up I see.

PPKYTO: Sorry Eowyn.

Devak: Whatever. Lets get going.

[The last sane person]

Jack: *yawn* Now what? we have a purple, perhaps lilac, yellow-tailed oliphunt that Tshik controls following us who just blew away Eowyn. Good Ridance. *looks at Set* Well we are the de facto leaders and i am still the Narri, so, where shall we take this crazy train too?

Set: *shrugs* beats me.

Gandalf: Lets pointlessly wander to Gondor and bug Queen Arwen and King Elessar!

Others: Cool.

Jack: Cool, i like queen Arwen. She's hot. Elessar isnt that bad either, i'd wouldnt mind a bit of both right now!

Devak: Keep the damn RPG PG! good god man! you jump into bed with everybody!

Jack: *highly insulted* I DO NOT! I choose my bed fellows with care!

VO of Vicky: I would say that anyone who chooses a prince for bits of fun takes great care indeed!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Oh dear, Jack, what happened to your "new" account? And I think I'm rubbing off on you. Strange drinks breed strange bedfellows.

[The last sane person]

OOC: well, the reason i got it was cause this one didnt work. Now it does so, screw the other one. And, well, i have been more active as of late, that's true. But then again, you never knew me well enough to know whether or not you've rubbed off on me.

*and so, the bunch just kind of sauntered down thru the lands of Mordor slaying things and arguing over tea. Jack, who liked Oliphunts, hitched a ride and looked like some sultan from disney's Aladin.*

Adrian: Oi! Get down from your oliphunt and come and greet the King Elessar and his Queen!

Jack: No! I like it up here.

Gandalf: Good to see you old friend! I see all has been well for you and yours!

Elessar: Good to see you gandalf! *peers behind Gandalf to see Set, Devak, Adrian, Tshik, a Dragon and the Oliphunt*

Arwen: Ah, who might your friends be Mithrandir? Started a new fellowship?

Gandlaf: *embarrassed* Oh them? Uh...I dont know of them...Eh..

Devak: Oh dont be silly! We are just coming back from wandering around Mordor for no apperant reason...

Arwen: Oh. *to herself* Then they must have more mettle than it seems....

Jack: *from way up* Oh, alright. *slides down the trunk, hops infront of the king and queen, tottally dispensing with the royal protocal.*

*he waltzes to them and slings an arm around Arwen's waist and gives a cheeky grin to the others, while Said Queen has the good grace to blush and look properly scandalized*

Arwen: *sputter* Eowyn? Where did she go?

Oliphunt: Oh, I think I blew her away when I sneezed a while ago...Oh well.

Jack: Well lads and ladies. This will be our base to figure out what the hell we are going to do with our asses until somebody comes up with a plot!

Jack:*to the King* 'ello sweet cheeks! *to the Queen* come on love, up we go to find some liquor, since i've been dieing of thirst since we took the left at Mount Doooooom.

[elixir]

*So they were all in Gondor now doing nothing that is worth or suitable to mention here, but this time they had every right to do all that (well, maybe not all that...) because they were here to rest from all those silly little things they had experienced and think up a good, let me say it again, a good plan what to do next. Anyway, they were having fun and finding new friends and while Jack spent time with Arwen, Devak and Aragorn got pretty close... but before anything serious could happen between them, it came out that Devak was !Surprise!Surprise! Aragorn's half-sister.*

Devak: What? No, I'm not. Don't listen to it, darling.

*Yes you are. It's in your biography on the first page.*

Devak: Really? Well, I guess then whoever wrote that, made a BIG mistake. What were you going to tell me, love?

*Sorry. That can't happen.*

Devak: Stupid narrator. Jack was much better at this. By the way, where is Jack?

Aragorn: I asked him to watch my wife so that we could be alone.

Devak: Clever plan! You're a genius!

*At that point Eowyn, who was blown away by The Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt a while ago, comes back to the rest of the group and feels that this is her big chance to win Aragorn back.*

Devak: Grrr. You did this on purpose.

*He is your brother. Get over him. Find someone else.*

Devak: Like who?

*Gandalf?*

Devak:

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Set: I think that is just about enough out of you.

*What?*

Set: Devak, do you want a new narrator?

Devak: Yes.

Set: One who will let you do whatever you want?

Devak: Yes!

Set: Thank you.

*Set vanished and-- hey! You can't come up here! This is my spot! No! It's not your turn! I don't care what Devak-- NO! Stop it!*

*There. The narrator has taken a holiday.*

Devak: Set? Is that you?

*Yes, thank you Devak. So, it seemed that Devak was indeed Aragorn's half-sister.*

Devak: Hey! I thought you said I could do whatever I wanted!

*Sorry love, but rules are rules. You can go off and have some fun. At least I won't put you into a relationship with Gandalf.*

Devak: Ok. I guess that is better.

*And so the Lady Eowyn did indeed find her way to the castle, and was currently in the process of arguing with the guards.*

[The last sane person]

Jack: *snore*

Arwen: *yawn* Wow. *prods Jack awake* I don't know about you, but i am hungry.

Jack: *snore* snerk....eh? oh. Yeah, so am i. But i am more thirsty. Lets go and do something. *yawn*

Arwen:*stretch* you mean other than each other. *grin*

*hey, as much as i like the whole idea of it, we gotta keep this thing PG.*

Jack: SET?! Hey! that's, my job!

*well, while you have fun, i'll just borrow it for a while.*

Jack: *grumble* fiiiiiiine.

Arwen: *grabs Jack's shoulder* Come on, out we go. see what the other kiddies are up too.

Jack: Sure, *puts on clothes, except his shirt.* Wait! Devak was about to get some jolly with her HALF BROTHER, and you TELL ME to keep things PG??!

*Yes, the key word there is ALMOST!*

Jack: *follows Arwen* Not fair.

[Eowyn, Lady of Rohan]

*Eowyn comes running up flicking Oliphunt snot off her.*
Eowyn: Yuck. I may be a tomboy and such and such. But I do loath Oliphunt snot!

[elixir]

Gandalf: *sings*
Plan, plan, we need a good plan
Plan, plan, we need a good plan
Plan, plan, we need a good plan
A good plan's what we need!!!

Adrian: I think it's time for you to learn how to relax. We don't have to do all this serious and dangerous stuff all the time. Sometimes it's good just to relax... I think you need to blow smoke rings again just as in good old days.

Gandalf: I gave it up. It made my teeth yellow. I can't be Gandalf the White if my smile is all yellow.

Adrian: Well, you could transform into Gandalf the Yellow then. You would be like the Sun then. And it would be much merrier than that boring white.

Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt: And you would match with my tail then!

Tshik: Yay!!!

Gandalf: I liked you much more when you were quiet.

Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt: Sorry, old man.

Gandalf: For what?

Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt: For this.

Gandalf: You sneezed on ME!!! Nobody sneezes on ME!!!

Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt: Now you match with Eowyn.

[elixir]

*And so the Lady Eowyn did indeed find her way to the castle, and was currently in the process of arguing with the guards.*

Eowyn: Why can't you let me in?

Guard #1: Well, there was this strange green guy who said that if we let you in, he will let his oliphaunt sit on us.

Guard #2: Yes, he did say that.

Guard #1: And we would not like to have an oliphaunt sit on us.

Guard #2: No, we wouldn't like that at all.

Guard #1: So we won't let you in.

Guard #2: No, we won't.

Eowyn: That stupid crazy Tshik. What do I do now?

*Well... Tshik thought up the Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt and now he controls it.*

Eowyn: I know that!

*Well... suppose you think up some creature that is bigger and stronger and more powerful than an oliphaunt who does whatever you say.*

Eowyn: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!

*What?*

Eowyn: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!! My evil laugh.

*Oh, yes. Very evil indeed.*

Eowyn: Oh be quiet. I've got some thinking to do. My pet creature would be horrible. And then I'll let it sit on both guards, on Tshik and his oliphaunt and on anyone else I don't like.

*That would be interesting. And I can watch all this from up here, which is quite a safe place. But Eowyn was deep in her thoughts and didn't hear me say this.*

[Eowyn, Lady of Rohan]

Eowyn: well, i dont' want it to be too big, this should do! *pulls out a mouse, this should stomp them flat!
Gandalf: uh eowyn, that's a mouse.

[elixir]

Eowyn: So what?

*The mouse escapes from Eowyn, runs to the oliphaunt who immediatly forgets that he has to obey to Tshik, is extremely scared of the mouse, goes mad and starts running round in the city, destroying everything and everyone on his way.*

Gandalf: Wow. I mean wow. Iiik! It's running towards me now!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Hey all, I'm back, much to the hoard's dismay.

Set: Ah, well, that has the potential to happen in any situation.

Eowyn: You mean a Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt spontaniously coming into existance, going berzerk over a mouse, and destroying an entire city?

Set: Actually, the probablility is quite high.

OOC: I fell in a lake yesterday. I hate this format.

[The last sane person]

er...! Entmoot turned to crap while i was slumbering!! AAAHHH! EVIL!

Jack: Oh, yay. Um. Yeah.

*dodges out of the way of the oliphunt, and pulls a movie ROTK Legolas and defies all manner of physics and appears ontop of the oliphunt.*

Jack: Now you dolt! *yells at top of lungs* SLOW DOWN!

Oliphunt: *screeches to a halt* Oh, only had to ask. *squashes mouse underfoot*

[elixir]

Eowyn: My mouse! My mouse!

Tshik: My oliphaunt! My oliphaunt!

Gandalf: My hat! Where's my hat?!?

Oliphaunt: *to Tshik* You made me do things I didn't want to do! You took control over MY life! And now... I have to thank you. I've always wanted to do such things but I was too shy. And now you told me to do such things and I thought that I have to do so because you control me, but actually I just did them on my own because I wanted to. Thank you very much. I never forget it. But I have to go now. Good luck!

Tshik: *cries* Bye-bye, dear Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt! I'm going to miss you!

*Purple Perhaps Lilac Yellow-Tailed Oliphaunt throws Jack off his back, smiles, sneezes on everybody and leaves*

Tshik: