Temporary Venting Thread - Page 5

***Jonathan*** · 03-13-2005, 06:10 AM

Wow Hanza, can one have worse timing than that? Cheating on your boyfriend only to find out you're pregnant with his kid

. Btw how comes everyone in your year knows you've cheated on him? Wouldn't it have been best not to let it out?

It's understandable that your boyfriend is mad at you but I hope he can act maturely and be supportive after all. He should know better than to let you go through this alone, it's his responsability to be there for you.
Is there a counsellor in school that you could talk to? And don't think about the woman who lost her kid, it doesn't make things better.

Hope things work out for you Hanza. Chin up

Nerdanel · 03-13-2005, 06:20 AM

It is not an easy decision you have to make, Hanza.. But don't feel guilty because of other's misfortune - as Jon is saying, it doesn't make things better. I truly hope you have people there to support you, whatever your decision may be. We are here listening, and we support you as much as we can from this distance.

Take care of yourself, Hanza. It might be very hard now but things get better.

Nerdanel · 03-13-2005, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Last Child of Ungoliant

i done me bak in again this week, was at a club, and slipped on someone's blood that they had spilt on the floor

Chrys, that sucks.

How are you feeling? I hope it's getting better soon, rest and take care!

Last Child of Ungoliant · 03-13-2005, 07:58 AM

oh, im all right nerdy, thanks to the surgery last year

**Nurvingiel** · 03-13-2005, 08:49 AM

That is so many levels of suck Hanza, but I guess you don't need me to point that out. I hope that no matter what you decide, you have friends and family to support you. I hope you and your boyfriend can reconcile to support each other in this situation that's bigger than the problems you face. No matter what you decide, you will be a stronger person coming out of this. Most importantly I hope you can confide in your parents. There are some situations where I would absolutely want my parents' support, and this is one of them. However, no one but you and your boyfriend can decide what to do, so don't let anyone boss you around. *Moothugs*

[/unsolicited advice]

Hanza · 03-13-2005, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Btw how comes everyone in your year knows you've cheated on him? Wouldn't it have been best not to let it out?

I didnt. the guy i cheated with told his girlfriend and she in turn told most of the year to show me up as a total bitch.

boyfriend is still being absolutely no help. i asked him today if he would come with me when i have the abortion or whether i was gonna have to go with this guy andrew. i explained how id really like him to come and stuff. but he just text back saying 'go with andrew' sigh

Irex i totally hear you. ive mucked up big time and really need to sort myself out. I dont think theres anyway i cant learn from this. and hopefully i will be strogner ont he otherside of all this.

millane thanx. i havent told my parents yet no. and im not sure i wil. I know they probably havea right to know and everything its just so hard. my dad would totally flip but i really cant predict how my mum would react. if it gets much worse then i will def tell atleast my mum.

jon i think we might have a counsellor at school but i think u have to be reffered to them by a teacher. now all i gotta find is a teacher i trust to confide in...

thanks nerdy. ive decided to go through with the abortion. and i appreciate all of your support, il try and keep u updated. and i do believe things can only really get better from here. i mean how much worse can they make my life?

*moothugs with nurv* thanku. i really would like the support of my parents but when ur my age u never really quite no how they are going to react to big things like this.

going to go to the brook clinic with my friend on friday. have a talk with thema bout wat happens and perhaps organise it all. its all a bit too real and scary. il post any more that happens.

**Nurvingiel** · 03-13-2005, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hanza

*moothugs with nurv* thanku. i really would like the support of my parents but when ur my age u never really quite no how they are going to react to big things like this.

Fair enough Hanza.

And everyone's parents are different too. *Moothugs more* (Sounds like the other girl is the one who will look like a bitch though. I mean, it's fair enough that she's pissed but telling everyone was just petty.)

Feeble rant: Why isn't anyone posting when I want to procrastinate? Erm... yeah... I'm going to go finish that paper now...

Last Child of Ungoliant · 03-13-2005, 07:55 PM

i have a really minor vent - my ex was at the club last night with another guy, and he was ever-so-slightly better looking than me, and when i was walking past them was when i slipped over - imagine my embarassment!

**Nurvingiel** · 03-13-2005, 08:02 PM

Is that how you hurt your back? (You're not jealous of his good-looks are you? I'm sure you're an exact replica of Ville Vallo.

)

What's everyone looking at? Oh yeah, I'm still here. Right. Paper.

Last Child of Ungoliant · 03-13-2005, 08:05 PM

i managed to blame it on the darkness

cos those underground clubs are quite dark

but, hell yeah i am an exact replica of ville

i ought to finish off my paper aswell

Embladyne · 03-13-2005, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Last Child of Ungoliant

i have a really minor vent - my ex was at the club last night with another guy, and he was ever-so-slightly better looking than me, and when i was walking past them was when i slipped over - imagine my embarassment!

Ah, yes. The uncomfortable issue of ex's.

Here's my rant:
Even though I know it's spring break, there are enough students unable to return home, or get off campus that I find it very irritating that the bus service has virtually disappeared for these 9 days. I mean, there's no way to get to a grocery store except by walking for a few miles, and it's snowy. No dining halls are open on the weekends, either. I'm fine, but I wish the colelge would be more considerate of people staying on campus. My roomie and some of her friends are international students, and it's highly unreasonable to expect them to get off campus. Gar. I did end up walking to the store today. It wasn't too bad 'cause it had finally stopped snowing, but it was very tiring walking back with the goroceries...I had brought along my backpack and stuck them in there. When I got back to my dorm, I was so exhausted I fell onto my bed and stared at the ceiling for a while. I really miss the reliable bus service of home.

Second rant:
Why do normal grocery stores sell such horrible food? I had a heck of a time trying to find peanut butter that was only peanuts, and not a melange of chemicals and preservatives and sugar. ick. It seems that in order to buy edible food, I have to go to a whole foods store. And that gets expensive. At least they had some of my favourite tea, and fruits that seemed to have fared well in the store room. (I also want a fridge so I can buy more perishable foods than I can consume in a day.)

Last Child of Ungoliant · 03-13-2005, 08:40 PM

IIRC, most uni campuses stay open over holidays in UK, but i won't find out for definite until i start uni in about 1 year and a half

the tricky situation of exes indeed! first time we seen each other for about a year, and he's lookin really good, and i began to regret my decision, until he looked at me, and then gave a little smile, before proceeding to 'cuddle' with his new guy

Embladyne · 03-13-2005, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Last Child of Ungoliant

IIRC, most uni campuses stay open over holidays in UK, but i won't find out for definite until i start uni in about 1 year and a half

the tricky situation of exes indeed! first time we seen each other for about a year, and he's lookin really good, and i began to regret my decision, until he looked at me, and then gave a little smile, before proceeding to 'cuddle' with his new guy

I very much empathize. I'm hope I'm not going to have problems when I go home this summer.
Another weird situation is friends with confessed (extreme) crushes on yourself. I love my friends, but I'm glad that I wont see some of them for a while. I have a need for lots of space, and feel literally *crushed* by some of these affections. I like being loved, but in a way that gives me room to change and just be myself.

katya · 03-13-2005, 09:18 PM

I'm sorry to hear that people have some real problems. Hope everything works out.

My vent is that people have to argue so much in threads. Like, I read through the evolution evidence thread, and it started out interesting, with the giraffes, and all that (the example I thought of was about butterflies. or moths or something, I don't remember^^; ) but then it was a thread about what the thread was about. And that's just stupid. If I had it my way, a serious thread [note- a serious thread. I'm not trying to be a hard-ass or anything saying "stay on topic for chrissake!!" in a more casual thread] would be conducted in a way so that everyone walks away having learned something interesting. Every post would contribute something or ask a question that helped the exploration of the topic. Arguments would take place purely in PMs. It would be, to the observer of the thread, as if they didn't exist. Everyone would be treated with respect, given the benefit of the doubt. It would be a place with no wars, no stealing. Nothing but peaceful days. Eden.

jerseydevil · 03-13-2005, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katya

I'm sorry to hear that people have some real problems. Hope everything works out.

My vent is that people have to argue so much in threads. Like, I read through the evolution evidence thread, and it started out interesting, with the giraffes, and all that (the example I thought of was about butterflies. or moths or something, I don't remember^^; ) but then it was a thread about what the thread was about. And that's just stupid. If I had it my way, a serious thread [note- a serious thread. I'm not trying to be a hard-ass or anything saying "stay on topic for chrissake!!" in a more casual thread] would be conducted in a way so that everyone walks away having learned something interesting. Every post would contribute something or ask a question that helped the exploration of the topic. Arguments would take place purely in PMs. It would be, to the observer of the thread, as if they didn't exist. Everyone would be treated with respect, given the benefit of the doubt. It would be a place with no wars, no stealing. Nothing but peaceful days. Eden.

I thought the thread was good, it would have given people the chance to discuss the scientific evidence for evolution and how it didn't support creationism - but then people started to question what the purpose was I suppose.

Rûdhaglarien · 03-13-2005, 11:56 PM

Things are really screwed up right now. Everything is falling apart around me, and I can't fix any of it.
What's worse is the fact that I've isolated myself so much in the past that I can't even comfort those around me who need it. I've never been a very good friend, and that's become so evident in the past few weeks that it's making me physically sick. I hate not being able to fix things. I've always been able to fix things, and right now... I feel completely useless.

Draken · 03-14-2005, 08:54 AM

Rûd - sometimes I used to feel like that at your age! It passes, believe me!

And people who aren't good friends would never even stop to consider the question - which leads me to suggest you're no such thing - don't be so hard on yourself ok?

katya · 03-14-2005, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerseydevil

I thought the thread was good, it would have given people the chance to discuss the scientific evidence for evolution and how it didn't support creationism - but then people started to question what the purpose was I suppose.

Yeah, that's what I thought too. I wish it didn't have to be that way.

Nerdanel · 03-14-2005, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hanza

thanks nerdy. ive decided to go through with the abortion. and i appreciate all of your support, il try and keep u updated. and i do believe things can only really get better from here. i mean how much worse can they make my life?

going to go to the brook clinic with my friend on friday. have a talk with thema bout wat happens and perhaps organise it all. its all a bit too real and scary. il post any more that happens.

It will get better.

Your boyfriend doesn't seem to be the best support, so I really hope your friends are there for you.. And parents are always difficult. It would be important to have their support, though. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Embladyne

Another weird situation is friends with confessed (extreme) crushes on yourself. I love my friends, but I'm glad that I wont see some of them for a while. I have a need for lots of space, and feel literally *crushed* by some of these affections. I like being loved, but in a way that gives me room to change and just be myself.

I know exactly what you mean. I need a lot of space too, somthing that I have now that I live hundreds of kilometers from my closest friends (and family!!). I love it. But I'm not saying that I want them out of my life - it just seems like my reelationships with them needed a break. And I like missing my friends and my family. That way I learn to appreciate them more.

**Nurvingiel** · 03-14-2005, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draken

Rûd - sometimes I used to feel like that at your age! It passes, believe me!

And people who aren't good friends would never even stop to consider the question - which leads me to suggest you're no such thing - don't be so hard on yourself ok?

I second that. If you're trying, then you're certainly not being a bad friend.

I hope things work out.

03-13-2005, 06:10 AM	#81
*Jonathan* Entmoot Attorney-General, Equilibrating the Scales of Justice, Administrator ♎ Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Stockholm, Sweden Posts: 3,891	Wow Hanza, can one have worse timing than that? Cheating on your boyfriend only to find out you're pregnant with his kid . Btw how comes everyone in your year knows you've cheated on him? Wouldn't it have been best not to let it out? It's understandable that your boyfriend is mad at you but I hope he can act maturely and be supportive after all. He should know better than to let you go through this alone, it's his responsability to be there for you. Is there a counsellor in school that you could talk to? And don't think about the woman who lost her kid, it doesn't make things better. Hope things work out for you Hanza. Chin up __________________ An unwritten post is a delightful universe of infinite possibilities. Set down one word, however, and it immediately becomes earthbound. Set down one sentence and it’s halfway to being just like every other bloody entry that’s ever been written. ☻ Last edited by Jonathan : 03-13-2005 at 06:11 AM.

03-13-2005, 06:20 AM	#82
Nerdanel Spammer of the Happy Thread Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Helsinki, Finland Posts: 3,512	It is not an easy decision you have to make, Hanza.. But don't feel guilty because of other's misfortune - as Jon is saying, it doesn't make things better. I truly hope you have people there to support you, whatever your decision may be. We are here listening, and we support you as much as we can from this distance. Take care of yourself, Hanza. It might be very hard now but things get better. __________________ "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. " - C. Sagan My (photography) website My Flickr page

03-13-2005, 11:56 PM	#96
Rûdhaglarien Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 288	Things are really screwed up right now. Everything is falling apart around me, and I can't fix any of it. What's worse is the fact that I've isolated myself so much in the past that I can't even comfort those around me who need it. I've never been a very good friend, and that's become so evident in the past few weeks that it's making me physically sick. I hate not being able to fix things. I've always been able to fix things, and right now... I feel completely useless. __________________ I have a very expensive pen.

03-14-2005, 08:54 AM	#97
Draken Elf Lord Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Durham, England Posts: 694	Rûd - sometimes I used to feel like that at your age! It passes, believe me! And people who aren't good friends would never even stop to consider the question - which leads me to suggest you're no such thing - don't be so hard on yourself ok? __________________ I'm beset by self-doubt ....or am I?

03-13-2005, 07:58 AM	#84
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	oh, im all right nerdy, thanks to the surgery last year

03-13-2005, 07:55 PM	#88
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	i have a really minor vent - my ex was at the club last night with another guy, and he was ever-so-slightly better looking than me, and when i was walking past them was when i slipped over - imagine my embarassment!

03-13-2005, 08:05 PM	#90
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	i managed to blame it on the darkness cos those underground clubs are quite dark but, hell yeah i am an exact replica of ville i ought to finish off my paper aswell

03-13-2005, 08:40 PM	#92
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	IIRC, most uni campuses stay open over holidays in UK, but i won't find out for definite until i start uni in about 1 year and a half the tricky situation of exes indeed! first time we seen each other for about a year, and he's lookin really good, and i began to regret my decision, until he looked at me, and then gave a little smile, before proceeding to 'cuddle' with his new guy

03-13-2005, 09:18 PM	#94
katya Elven Maiden Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 3,309	I'm sorry to hear that people have some real problems. Hope everything works out. My vent is that people have to argue so much in threads. Like, I read through the evolution evidence thread, and it started out interesting, with the giraffes, and all that (the example I thought of was about butterflies. or moths or something, I don't remember^^; ) but then it was a thread about what the thread was about. And that's just stupid. If I had it my way, a serious thread [note- a serious thread. I'm not trying to be a hard-ass or anything saying "stay on topic for chrissake!!" in a more casual thread] would be conducted in a way so that everyone walks away having learned something interesting. Every post would contribute something or ask a question that helped the exploration of the topic. Arguments would take place purely in PMs. It would be, to the observer of the thread, as if they didn't exist. Everyone would be treated with respect, given the benefit of the doubt. It would be a place with no wars, no stealing. Nothing but peaceful days. Eden.