The Drunk Elf Pirates and the Quest for the Wine-thieves

[Butterbeer]

... me jolly jolly grog! ...

capered Jack, joining in and throwing his legs akimbo on the barrel in tune to Avery's wild shanty beat -

...."oooomph"

'that was a soft landing thought jack' ...

[The last sane person]

*Yes, a soft landing indeed, seeing as he flopped his great arse down on Kor*

Kor: Ermph! Getcher braided butt off me bucko!

Jack: *looks around, then finally over his shoulders* Ah, sorry mate, sand shifted un'er me ye see. Trick o the-*BURP* sea an sand ye know....

*Fumbles to get up and Kor obliges by giving him a jolly good shove*

Kor: Fah, trick o the sand or o the Rum, my salty friend?

[Butterbeer]

Jack stumbled forward - raising a hand in gesture -

got distracted -

was the sea swearing at them???

Avery's infectious beat was almost enough to raise the dead -

Jack's feet mutinied ... they began to dance ... slowly, the rest of his body joined in until

with a rather suprised look, so did jack-

"will ye join me in a jig ?"

[Grey_Wolf]

The slightly less intoxicated elves gets up and joins Avery in his River dance.

And Jack, abandoning his call for a jigg, lays down two daggers cross'd and begins a reel.

[klatukatt]

*Dick watched Jack begin to stumble through a reel and got very excited.*

Dick: What we need here is a better beat.

*Dick set himself up and started to beat on his hollow chest.*

Dick: Any *thump* one *thump* have *thump* a *thump* fidd-*thump*-le?

[Lady Marion Magdalena]

*Ignatius rolls his eyes and reluctantly pulls out a fiddle.*

I: Why not... A jig you said?

[Grey_Wolf]

After the exhausting dancing, Avery, some of the elves and Jack sat down around the bonfire.

Then Sheila appeared again dressed in more casaul attire.

"Hi there, Sheila dearie! come here and have a drink." Avery said.

The remainder of the group kept circling the bonfire arms over each other's shoulders changing direction every once in the while for the fun of it.

[Elfmaster XK]

The Captain watched. Then she drank. Then she watched some more. The crew were having a mighty fine time on the beach. Glancing up at the sky she saw the darkness was starting to ebb. Must be about 4am, she thought. Yawning widely she stood up.

XK: There be a lot of work to do tomorrow, 'fore we can set sail mate.

Eärniel: Aye indeed. What shall we do about them? The mate nods towards the dancing folk.

XK: Leave them be. They'll fall unconcious soon anyway. Willow?

Willow: Aye?

XK: Get some rest mate, tomorrow we need to come up with some sort of plan to deal with this Maeve.

Willow: Yes. And it'll be a mighty tricky plan at that.

XK: Shouting over the noise Rest, fellows! There is work to be done in the morn, and we won't have no slackin from any of you! No matter how pickled ye are!

With that the Captain snatched up her bottle and wandered back to the ship. Her hammock was calling.

[Grey_Wolf]

The night passed and the dancing group fell down where they stood and slept the whee hours of the morning away.

Avery and Sheila lay off to one side of the fire and Jack and the elves on the other.

[Grey_Wolf]

Having slept off the worst of the hangover, late in the morning XK and Eärniel set about organizing the group in workgangs for the reparation of the ship.

[Earniel]

*Having put everybody to work under Koroush's orders, Eärniel and Xen sit in the shade for a while, exercising one of commanding officers' privileges: sitting around and watching other people work.*

Eärniel: *chewing on a long grass blade* It was a good party yesterday.

Xen: Hmmm. And a good way to get to know the new crew a little bit more.

Eärniel: Luckily none of them seem to have lurking dark secrets, well, not any more than most common pirates. That'll keep us free from bad surprises.

Xen: Speaking of lurking dark secrets, you never got around to tellin' your story about you and Cirdan.

Eärniel: Nope. Jack's a good distraction on that point, but then again, a bunch of drunken pirates doesn't need much to lose their train of thoughts.

Xen: So will we ever hear that tale, I wonder?

Eärniel: *grins* You'll never get me drunk enough for that again.

Xen: *eyes sparkling* Oooh, a dare, is it?

Eärniel: I wouldn't dare. Not with you anyway.... *changes subject* The ship is coming along just fine. We might be able to be under sail tonight, so shouldn't we - eh, do what we're supposed to do and start plotting? There's this Maeve-business to deal with and no doubt a bunch of other folk out for our blood.

[Lady Marion Magdalena]

At the mention of plotting they turn to the third crew member not engaged in carrying out Koroush's orders. Willow, having elected to stay close by the Captain's side for this first day of probationary freedom, is sitting on a log a few feet away, busily sketching indecipherable (when read upside down anyway) diagrams and surrounded by an increasingly piled graveyard of charcoal marked papyrus.

Earniel: What was wrong with all of those plots?

Willow: Been done before.

Earniel and Xen's eyes slowly look from the pile to Willow and back again.

Xen: All of them?

Willow: Tried at least.

Xen: Didn't all work?

Willow: *pauses* We'd have to be awfully stupid to fall for all the the tricks we've tried on each other. Never get anything done either...
But I think- *she scribbles one more bit down on the current sketch.* -if we use bait, this one has a chance.

Earniel: Just a chance?

Willow: We're pirates. You expected certainty?

Earniel: Point. What probability a chance are we talking here? And what sort of bait?

Xen: We've got her grandson, an long term associate and a... thing-

Willow: Other.

Xen: -from her world on our ship. We'll think of something.

[Grey_Wolf]

Meanwhile, Avery continued to modernize the ship's accommodations. Along with the drum-washing machine, shower-stall, sauna, he also added a mechanical drum-drier for the crew's laundry powered by the same twisting cable which ran the washing-machine. He also invented a special washing-detergent using chemicals derived from the island's flora.

After this, he went up on deck and helped in the repair of the rigging and sails. Help that was gladly received. Work progressed a clipping rate. Everywhere where repair was needed the sailors did their utmost to make the ship seaworthy.

[Elfmaster XK]

(OOC: Err.. a sauna? Washing machine? Are you aware this ship is made of wood. It's not a cruise ship. There isn't space for any of this. And Avery should really be following orders. Not doing things he has not been asked to. Sorry, if anyone disagrees then okay. I just think it's a bit much since the ship is the sort of thing that was around in the 17th/18th century.)

Still watching the crew, the Captain, Mate, and Quartermaster continued to stroke their chins in thought. Not that any of them had a beard or anything, but it helped. Probably.

Anyway, they read Willow's plots, agreeing that many of them had been done before. It did seem that there would be very few options open to them.

Xen: So, ransom it has to be then.

Willow: Looks like it.

Earniel: So we have a small problem.

Willow: We do?

Xen: Well, who do we ransom? I daresay yourself and Flannery are both out of the question. And as for Bob, well she seems pretty content wherever she is.

Earniel: Content?

Xen: Aye. Okay she causes havoc, but never seems bothered by any of it.

Willow: That's true. It's going to involve some mighty clever trickery.

Xen: Aye. And what with your Maeve being such a clever opponent, I fear getting back our wine will be harder than it seems.

A short silence passes between them, in which they all watch the crew performing various ship wise tasks.

Earniel: Still...She's looking good.

Xen: Aye. Koroush has done her proud. I think we might be under sail tonight.

Willow: If we're lucky.

[Grey_Wolf]

(occ: Best Efk. the added amenities have down-sized to fit in the ship)

[Willow Oran]

The bottom of the metaphorical barrel having been thoroughly scraped in the process of plotting, only one more scheme remains for speculation...

Willow: I realize that this one is somewhat ridiculous, as this is a pirate transaction we're plotting here, but I figured it had as much a chance of success as the other, more complicated, plans.

She holds forth a frail scrap of parchment on which is scribbled a single word.

Exk: *reading* Ask?

Earniel: 'Ask' as in: Could we please have our bottle of sacred wine back?

Willow: Well... yes. I don't see why not, and then if she says no we can always go at it with the kidnapping, ransoming stuff, but it's simple, polite and Maeve does have the occaisional attack of honorable politness...

Exk: It... makes sense... it's just so... so...

Willow: Simple? Logical? Elegant in its naive diplomacy?

Earniel: Not... plotly enough.

Exk: Aye. That. The regaining of the Holy Wine must be a tale of epic proportions. Magnificant sea battles! Ninja like sneakness! Giant squid! Super penguins!

Earniel: I don't think we're quite far enough south for penguins...

Exk: You know what I mean. Politeness just doesn't fit.

Willow: Right-o. The ridiculously complex plot with very little chance of not descending into farce which will inexlicably work anyway and which, incidently, was not any of the plots just reviewed- *takes a deep breath* it is!

Exk: Excellent.

[klatukatt]

*Most of the work being done, Dick took this moment to fish a mouse out of his leg that had been bugging him.

Jack: Wha' ya' got there, mate?

Dick: Woah! Try not to sneak up on a bugger, eh? *Manages to catch the mouse.* Just a mouse. I don't know where the devils come from.

Jack: Well, if that ain't the most disturbing thing I ever seen. *Takes a swig from the bottle he has been holding.* Drink mate?

Dick: No thanks, I got my own. *takes out a flagon and swallows mightily.*

Jack: *Makes a face.* Urg. What is that?

Dick: Preservatives. Gotta keep up my manly physeek.

*Dick thumped on his chest, sending clouds of dust flying, as well as a fly that had been resting in Dick's ear.

Jack: Right mate. Whatever you say.

(OOC: Hope that was cool, BB.)

[Butterbeer]

(ooc ooc funky gibbons: nice! - couldn't actually imagine Jack doing any work or not drinking anyway)

Jack: ahem, mate *jack picks the fly out of the air with a slight squint and and with a wink tosses it to Dick*

Jack: pardon me inquisitivness, mate - but how come you is called "Dick"?

*Jack's eyes choose this point to plain up and mutiny and with a rover's instinct wander rapidly down Dick's "body" to ...well, Dick's ..... *

Jack whistles ... now what does that remind him of?

Dick: ( funky ooc: ... tbc by K?)

[klatukatt]

Dick: My name is really Richard. Dick is a nickname, and the only working organ I have is this.

*Jack recoiled in horror as Dick reached into his pocket, only to see a harmonica when he opened his eyes.*

Dick: *Fiddling with the harmonica.* I can't even play it anymore. No breath to speak of. Dick is just a name. I was never a ladies man, and there is no amusing story behind it either. I'm just a Dick.

Jack: No breath? Then how do you speak?

Bob: *Popping up suddenly.* Was that a change of subject that just ran by?

Dick and Jack: Aaah!

Bob: I like music.

*And, as quickly as Bob had appeared, she was gone.*

[Elfmaster XK]

For a moment the Captain, Mate and Quartermaster sat in complete silence. The wind blew the leaves, and from somewhere within the ship a loud 'yarr!' was heard.

Eärniel: Well. I guess that's that then.

XK: Aye. Let's get this ship to sea again before the tide goes out.

They stood up and wandered over to the ship. She was all cleaned up and repaired. The crew were waiting on the beach.

XK: Excellent work everyone. You will all be pleased to hear, we are to set sail today. And we have come up with a plan.

Rana: What's the plan?

Willow, XK and Eärniel exchange a glance.

Eärniel: We'll come to that later.

Willow: Yes...erm. Right. Since you're all pretty new we have decided on who should do what aboard the ship.

Eärniel: Y'all know me, the first mate. And the jolly Cap'n o' course! Now, Willow here shall be your Quartermaster, and our carpenter Koroush has been promoted to Second Mate. The other duties shall be as follows:

Trimmers (2 or 3) (controlling the sails shapes)
Sava, Eresse

Master at Arms
Flannery

Cook
Glorfindel III (Avery)

Deckhands (3 or 4)
Flannery, Kid, Sharkbait, Bob (sort of. He’s often on deck at least)

Helmsman (or woman)
Rana, Enelya

Boatswain
Jack

Gunner
Megil, Eresse (and everyone else during a battle)

Powder Monkey
Elendendil, Jack, Enelya (and whoever is available during battle)

Seamsman ? ... Sewer
Dick

Nippers (to weigh anchor)
Oak Leaf, Megil

EXK: Aye. Any objections sailors?

Crew: No ma'am!

Jack: Er...Ma'am...might I just....a slight....

EXK: Problem, Jack?

Jack: not problem per se, but might I remind ye...as yer bos'un I'll be needed a whistle to perform me tasks.

EXK: A whistle?

Jack: Aye! A whistle!

EXK raises an eyebrow. She then looks at Willow.

EXK: Do we even have a whistle still, Willow?

Willow: *shrugs* I'd be surprised if we do. I'll take a look in the hold now.

EXK: Any one else have anythin to say?

Silence

EXK: Good, now get to work! I want to be under sail within the hour.

As was ordered, the crew jumped to it, and Jack, though whistle-less, managed to muster enough energy to climb aboard and join Willow in her search in the hold. Still, even without their help the ship was soon underway. She sailed like a dream. There was a leeward wind, and the sea was calm. Now just to get that wine back.

EXK: Bob!

Bob appeared in front of the helm.

Bob: AYE AYE!

EXK: Moves Bob out of the way of the helm Show me where Maeve is.