Lyrd Of The Ryngs - The Homies

[Grey_Wolf]

Up on the Third Level Emergency Room dizzy Merry was being taken care of by the gentle nurses along with Eowyn (still unconscious from the blast of psychic energy from the dying Head Lawyer).

Faramir slipping in and out of wakefulness closeby, the personnel treating him with utmost care and with the best anti-high-tone coma equipment available.

Suddenly, he woke. and so did Eowyn.

"What happened?" they both asked. They slept for a while longer until they felt better and woke up again. Had some dinner.

Later they had recovered so much that they could start using the internet.

[Grey_Wolf]

Now as the sun went down Aragorn and Éomer and Imrahil drew near the City with their captains and knights; and when they came before the Gate Aragorn said:
"Behold the Sun setting in a great fire! It is a sign of the end and fall of many things, and a change in the tides of the world. But this City and realm has rested in the charge of the Chief Architects for many long years, and I fear that if I enter it unbidden, then doubt and debate may arise, which should not be while this war is fought. I will not enter in, nor make any claim, until it be seen whether we or Mordor shall prevail. Men shall pitch my tents upon the field, and here I will await the welcome of the Lord of the City."

But Éomer said: "Already you have raised the banner of the CA and displayed the tokens of Elendil's House. Will you suffer these to be challenged?"
"No," said Aragorn. "But I deem the time unripe; and I have no mind for strife except with our Enemy and his servants."

And the Prince Imrahil said. Your words, lord, are wise, if one who is a kinsman of the Lord Denethor may counsel you in this matter. He is strong-willed and proud, but old; and his mood has been strange since his son was stricken down. Yet I would not have you remain like a beggar at the door."
"Not a beggar," said Aragorn. "Say a captain of the Rangers, who are unused to cities and houses of stone." And he commanded that his banner should be furled; and he did off the Star of the North Kingdom and gave it to the keeping of the sons of Elrond.

Then the Prince Imrahil and Éomer of Rohan left him and passed through the City and the tumult of the people, and mounted to the Citadel; and they came to the Hall of the Tower, seeking the Steward. But they found his chair empty, and before the dais lay Théoden King of the Mark upon a bed of state; and twelve torches stood about it, and twelve guards, knights both of Rohan and Gondor. And the hangings of the bed were of green and white, but upon the king was laid the great cloth of gold up to his breast, and upon that his unsheathed sword, and at his feet his shield, The light of the torches shimmered in his white hair like sun in the spray of a fountain, but his face was fair and young, save that a peace lay on it beyond the reach of youth; and it seemed that he slept.

When they had stood silent for a time beside the king, Imrahil said: "Where is the Steward? And where also is Mithrandir?"

And one of the guards answered: "The CA of Gondor is in the Houses of Healing."

But Éomer said: "Where is the Lady Éowyn, my sister; for surely she should be lying beside the king, and in no less honour? Where have they bestowed her?"

And Imrahil said: "But the Lady Éowyn was yet living when they bore her hither. Did you not know?"

Then hope unlooked-for came so suddenly to Éomer's heart, and with it the bite of care and fear renewed, that he said no more, but turned and went swiftly from the hall; and the Prince followed him. And when they came forth evening had fallen and many stars were in the sky. And there came Gandalf on foot and with him one combat fatigues and a balaclava; and they met before the doors of the Houses of Healing. And they greeted Gandalf and said: "We seek the CA, and men say that he is in this House. Has any hurt befallen him? And the Lady Éowyn, where is she?"

And Gandalf answered: "She lies within and is not dead, but is near death. But the Lord Faramir was wounded by a high tone of Heavy Metal , as you have heard, and he is now the CA; for Denethor has departed, and his house is in ashes." And they were filled with grief and wonder at the tale that he told.

But Imrahil said: "So victory is shorn of gladness, and it is bitter bought, if both Gondor and Rohan are in one day bereft of their lords. Éomer rules the Rohirrim. Who shall rule the City meanwhile? Shall we not send now for the Lord Aragorn?"

And the cloaked man spoke and said: "He is come." And they saw as he stepped into the light of the lantern by the door that it was Aragorn, wrapped in the grey combat fatigues of Lórien above his mail, and bearing no other token than the green stone of Galadriel. "I have come because Gandalf begs me to do so," he said. "But for the present I am but the Captain of the Dúnedain of Arnor; and the Lord of Dol Amroth shall rule the City until Faramir awakes. But it is my counsel that Gandalf should rule us all in the days that follow and in our dealings with the Enemy." And they agreed upon that.

[Grey_Wolf]

Aragorn was assisting in the treatment of the less severe cases, while Gandalf took care of broken limbs, deflated lungs and other more difficult patients.

[EarthBound]

Meanwhile, back at the castle...

The wounded Faramir, bored and recovering from injuries sustained by orc and his pyrotechnic father got online to check the Gondor Gab, the local internet chat space.

Logging in as TrollSlayer23, Faramir quietly watched the ongoing conversation:


<<

TrollSlayer23 [has entered the chat room]

Crossbow: Dude, there’s like, fight’n and stuff, like, outside…and stuff

Bob37: Yeah,*&^%$#!!!!! There’s some sort of pre-holiday sale going on

Havemenow: You guys are so like not paying attention, it’s like war and stuff!

Bob37: Ya, them pre-sales are murder

Crossbow: Yeah, I quit “hang’n’ at The Steward Mall because of them crazy shoppers

Havemenow: You idiots@! There’s Orcs and Trolls attacking the city!

Crossbow: Now, that seems kind of rude, them shoppers are just as much normal peoples as you and me, theys justs gots a little more “enthusiasm� is alls

Bob37: I’m really enthusiastic about my new modem, it’s like cable and stuff…

Havemenow: Really, there’s people dying and stuff@!@#!! They're fighting right now, we should probably, like, go help or something. BRB, there’s something in our living-room smashing things…

Havemenow: [has left the chat room]

Crossbow: She’s such a spaz, probably just her cat or something

PlainBeauty: [has entered the chat room]

PlainBeauty: Hey, hows the war going, any news? I’m stuck here in the med ward. My arm is messed up from that tussle with the Head Lawyer, it’s much better now that Aragorn stopped by with that Get-Well gift basket of Gandalf’s Wizard-Recovery Pezz candy and the six-pack of Jolt cola…

>>

Faramir straightened up, he wondered who this PlainBeauty might be. Perhaps he should email this ‘wonder’ or instant message her….after all, he’d also received the same Get-Well gift basket from Aragorn….obviously, this PlainBeauty knew much of the same people!

[med ward computer]

"bbbbbbrrrrrring" "You Got Mail"

Éowyn sat up and took notice. She opened her newly created interenet mailbox and found a note from someone called TrollSlayer23. "Nice name," She thought. She began to read...

Like a well placed soft ball, someone let her swing!

[Grey_Wolf]

Eowyn clicked on the inbox ikon.

Then another mail slammed into the box.

Briiinghhh!

The mail said...

Hi Eowyn! War is over, enemy captured. Eomer Ok. He wishes you a speedy recovery //Prince Imrahil

[Grey_Wolf]

Prince Imrahil (after having taken a look at his email and sent off a comfortmail to Eowyn) and Eomer passed through the City and walked up to the Citadel and they came to the Hall of the Tower, lokiong for the VÃ*ce CA, but found his office empty.

But in the restroom closeby lay General Theoden on a fourposter bed his ceremonial sword laid at his feet and twelve glowsticks arranged tastefully around him. And twelve Bikers standing guard around it.

Draped over the General was a cloth of Green and White. The light from the sticks shimmered in his white hair like the sun in the spray of a fountain, but his face was fair and young, save that a peace lay on it beyond the reach of youth, and it seemed that he slept.

[Grey_Wolf]

Now that Faramir and Eowyn was on the mend, several other cases of high Death Metal tone injuries would have to be taken care and even though the medical insurance of the city employees were fairly good and the expertise of the ER staff was at it's height, the doctors and nurses were baffled by the number of victims from the Lawyer's Bad Breath (him not having brushed his teeth before leaving for the battlefield).

Merry, lying unconscious, was not one of those though, him having been stunned by the backash from the dying Head Lawyer's wrath.

[EarthBound]

Aragorn continued his use of Gandalf’s Wizard-Recovery Pezz candy and the six-packs of Jolt cola...it was all that worked to revive Merry and the others...Upon this realization of its worth and merit, Gandalf immediately pursued franchise rights and opened three (3) 'Gandalf's Sweet & Sours' within the top two city levels that very day.

Counting his new found wealth, Gandalf muttered to himself, "A condo in Rivendel, a yacht at the Gray Havens, a new 'GAP of Rohan' robe..."

[Grey_Wolf]

Imrahil asked one the guards standing near Theoden's fourposter where The Chief Architect and Gandalf could be found.

"The CA is still in the Third Level ER recuperating and you'll find Gandalf there as well."

"Where is then my halfsister, Eowyn. For surely she should be lying here in no less honourable a placing than the King."

Than Imrahil said."Did you not know that Eowyn still lived when she was carried to the ER."

They walked off to the Third Level and there, on entering.
"We heard that the CA and Gandalf was here. Where is Aragorn?"

"He is here." said a man dressed in a hooded windbreaker jacket and camoflaged combat fatigues. He withdrew his hood and revealed his face.

[Rían]

Wild ideas surged through Aragorn's head - this was a hospital, and hospitals needed to do surgeries, and what better for a surgery than ... Narsil Powersaws! Visions of chart-topping sales danced through his head ...

His powersaw trigger finger itching, he asked innocently, "So where are the unfortunate patients? I hear there may be some serious injuries that may need ... radical measures ..."

The guards backed up in alarm at the strange light gleaming in Aragorn's eyes ...

[Grey_Wolf]

Gandalf stepped forward."Hi there, old friend. That radical (immediately understanding Aragorn's line of thought, him being a salesman himself), we might not have to be. Follow me and perhaps you can assist in the new Anti-Death Metal High Tone Gamma-Ray Treatment that the Gondorean Medical Board has just approved. And then there is the Lawyer's Bad Breath Remedial Ointment that needs to applied for those patients lying over there." He pointed at a ward which lay in the more secluded parts of the ER.

[Rían]

"Bleedin' soft-hearted wusses!" muttered Aragorn under his kingly breath, while the pleasant visions he had been forming of The Texas Chainsaw Massacres - Part XIXII - Terror in Minas Tirith faded from his fevered brain.

[Grey_Wolf]

And then he followed Gandalf to the special ward where the patients would now be treated with the new Gamma Ray technique.

Meanwhile Faramir was out on the wall containing the Third Level, taking in some fresh air, when he heard the light footsteps of somebody walking up behind him.

[Lady Marion Magdalena]

He turned and saw before him a vision!
Twas Lady Eowyn the valient Biker chick and when she saw him looking she did cuss, most profusely and eloquently, for she had been attempting to escape the healers (who had been looking at her arm most suspiciously and speaking of amputations) and was wearing only the thinnest hospital gown.

[Rían]

While the valiant and lovely Biker Chick was trying vainly to close the gap at the back of her hospital gown, Aragorn entered the special ward, and the others followed.

Gandalf stopped of a sudden. "Jes' wait a cotton pickin' minute! Go back a couple of paragraphs, where you're supposed to say 'Gandalf should rule us all in the days that follow and in our dealings with the Enemy'! Didja forget about that line, you power-hungry scruffy Ranger, you? You 'I loved the movie but haven't read the books' guy, you? Huh?! Well, I didn't forget it! *mutter mutter*

"Oh, uh, yeah - um, what he said, OK guys?" said Aragorn.

"Whatever!" said Imrahil, rolling his eyes.

"Ok, now that THAT'S straight, let's continue," said Gandalf, who then stood theatrically and said, "Let us not stay at the door, for the time is urgent! Let us enter! For it is only in the coming of Aragorn that any hope remains for the sick that lie in the ward. Thus spake Ioreth, wise-woman of Gondor: The hands of the king are the hands of a healer, and so shall the rightful king be known."

[Grey_Wolf]

In the other special ward, of those whose injuries were caused by The Lawyers Bad Breath, Aragorn then set to work with the Lawyer's Bad Breath Remedial Ointment on those poor unfortunates, alternating between that ward and the Gamma Ray Treatment one.

[Grey_Wolf]

Aragorn loomed over Merry lying there unconscious aligning the Gamma Ray Equipment over his face for maximum effect. He withdrew into the control room and activated the machine. It hummed.

[EarthBound]

Merry's eyes opened to see a large metal probing socket aimed at his nose. Carefully he scootched to the side of the bed out from under the machine crying out for help.

Immediately the nurses began strapping him to the bed for his “Treatment�.

“No, No, I’m feeling much better, see!� Merry began flexing his arm.

“Wow, that is much better!� Admitted nurse-extra #1.

“It would be even more impressive if it was the injured arm he was moving.� Drolled nurse-extra #2.

“Begin the ‘Treatment’!� The nurses exclaimed into the intercom.

[Grey_Wolf]

Merry, now strapped to the treatment-bench, felt a cool liquid flow throw his veins via the IV. He relaxed and soon was asleep.

When he awoke again he was back in his bed in the 3rd Level ER ward from which he had had his brief excursion into the Gamma Ray Treatment Room.

Aragorn came in.
"Hi kid, how ya doin'?" he asked."I heard you put up quite a fight in the GRT room. So much that they had sedate you."

[Grey_Wolf]

Then Pippin and Gandalf showed up with McGondor's Happy Meal bags.
"Welcome back, Merry. We knew you would be hungry by the time you woke up so we brought some dinner."