ME singles ads - Page 4

jammi567 · 05-29-2006, 08:06 AM

Tall, dark, and gothinly hansom. Enjoys messing up Beleriand without having to do it himself. Has pelenty of servents and entertainers, but hates watching dances. Preveribly evil personality, and enjoy living underground for the rest of your life. If this is you, contact 05734 - MORGOTH - THE - EVIL - DARK - LORD, or alternatively, e-mail me at morgothisevil@angbandbtnet.com.

jammi567 · 07-01-2006, 05:55 AM

Golden hair, great eyes and can read your mind, and has a magic basin. Are you a flamming eyeball with a volcano, a tall tower, and an army of hundreds of thousands, who wants to control middle earth. If so, then call 425237435 47367968, or alternatively, e-mail me at: galadriel@lothlorien.com

Nibs · 03-26-2002, 04:40 AM

Ring-bearer wanted
Must be resilient to dark magic,
enjoy bleak landscapes,
and excel with little hope
Call 938-GNDF for info.

Help wanted
Minas Tirith guard - P/T
Longevity not preferred
Life insurance a must
Inquire at the citadel ASAP

Scaled creature seeks companion
Must be proficient in small talk and lethargy
Foreign scent a must
E-mail: AllAlone@theLonelyMountain.bord

markedel · 03-26-2002, 10:21 AM

Lonely white Cat seeking new owner. Any pedigree accpeted as long as not a paranoid manhating loner. Call 1-800-TAR-CATS

Elf Girl · 03-26-2002, 01:40 PM

Waterfall seeks companion. Interest in sunsets a must. Contact me at 123-THEVEIL.

Tanoliel · 03-26-2002, 04:33 PM

Uh...markedel, what's the white cat? sorry, I don't think well when I'm sick..
I've got an ad...though not a singles ad...

"Bombur: Hello, this is Bombur the dwarf, at your service. I am here to tell you about the Middle Earth Weight Loss Program! I used to be overweight and unhealthy, and even my wife didn't want to talk to me! But then I went on a journey sponsored by the MEWL Program, and I lost 42 pounds in two months! Just try it! MEWL promises a signigicant weight loss or your money back, guaranteed!
VoiceOver: Give Middle Earth Weight Loss Program a call at 1-800-MEWL, and change your life forever! (small fast voice you can never understand: MEWL is not responsible for any loss of possesions, limbs, sanity or life on the journey. A good insurance plan is reccomended.) "

yeah...I know it's dumb. But that's what they sound like!

-tano

markedel · 03-26-2002, 04:34 PM

Queen Beruthiel had 9 cats. 8 Black. One white.

Kwijibo · 03-28-2002, 03:57 PM

Imagine reading these in the paper!

Odd, inexplicable male seeks female for LTR (long term relationship). Must not mind living near haunted Barrow-Downs and nasty trees or living in total isolation from the world. Must enjoy bright colours like blue and yellow, singing and ... er... singing. Contact me on 1-900-TOMB.

Intelligent, very hairy istar seeks female for friendship. Must enjoy saving the world, firework displays, POP (picking on Pippin) and dining with Balrogs. Age not an issue.

Good-looking king seeks queen. Must have several different names (about a dozen will do). Must enjoy saving the world, killing evil things, protecting little people and raising dead people. Elf princesses preferable. Go to Minas Tirith and ask for Elessar.

cassiopeia · 03-31-2002, 11:55 PM

Elderly gentleman seeking companionship in inpenetrable fortress. Likes: magic rings, long walks, the color white, wizard duels and genetics. Dislikes: Gandalf the Grey. Seeking lady who will help to rule Middle Earth. Although elderly looking, still feels young and vigourous and will live for many more years. Has a large staff which still works.

Reply to:

Many Colors
c/o Middle Earth Post

TinuvielChild · 04-01-2002, 04:16 PM

welcome to the Moot, cassiopeia!

Arathorn · 04-02-2002, 12:18 PM

Rohirrim Lord of great honor and worthy deed seeketh young lads of noble hearts and minds who wisheth the learning of the way of advanture, honor, and glory. Thine knowledge of the hearts of steeds will thine lord require. It shall be noted, if his lordship be so forgiving, that a heart has he which melts easily to a squire or page of notable rhymes and lore. Though many be invited, one shall be chosen to honor his presence in his merry yet no less important ways about the Mark.

May thou givest thine utter best for the honor of the Mark and his Lordship.

Eruviel Greenleaf · 04-03-2002, 03:21 AM

Nice title, Arathorn!

Corrupted Undead King seeks nine tall, black, mysterious steeds for himself and fellow Undead kings. Non-Rohirrim-descended horse need not apply. These horses must not mind chasing after One Rings and Hobbits who carry them. Contact: The Witch King, Minas Morgul.

Andúril · 04-03-2002, 07:28 AM

Original dark lord seeks high captain. Must be evil. Must enjoy dark voids. Must be prepared to get jiggy by the fireplace, just like old times...

Call 0800 666-MORGY

Earenya · 04-03-2002, 11:52 AM

High flying Eagle wishes for grounded relationship with damsel in distress. Will rescue, repeatedly if necessary. Cannot have fear of hights.

Farimir Captain of Gondor · 05-20-2006, 03:57 AM

Hahahaha, some of these are great!

Lonely troll seeks companionship. Enjoys clubbing things, and is a night owl. Looking for anyone regardless of race, age, or gender. They must only taste good in a stew. Come by the Lonely Mountain after 10 p.m. and bring some po-ta-toes.

Acalewia · 05-28-2006, 08:04 PM

This thing is three years old!!!

Funny, Doug.

SWM looking for SWF for LTR. Perferes noble born lady with sword and defense skills. Go to House of Healing, Minas Tirith, Gondor to apply. or Call 1 800- SGONDOR.

05-29-2006, 08:06 AM	#1
jammi567 I'm Eru, and lord of Arda. Join Date: May 2006 Location: southampton, hampshire Posts: 2,609	Tall, dark, and gothinly hansom. Enjoys messing up Beleriand without having to do it himself. Has pelenty of servents and entertainers, but hates watching dances. Preveribly evil personality, and enjoy living underground for the rest of your life. If this is you, contact 05734 - MORGOTH - THE - EVIL - DARK - LORD, or alternatively, e-mail me at morgothisevil@angbandbtnet.com. __________________ Vote for me, Jammi567, in the 2008 Entmoot elections, and you will get many of the things we need: free, unbiased, newspapers; a strong alliance with many countries, so that war doesn't start over someone breaking their nose on a doorframe; etc, etc This forum is lonely. It's new and confused, and doesn't have many friends yet. Help today by joining for free, posting, and posting this message and link in your sig. So please, join and help make it feel welcomed and loved. Last edited by jammi567 : 05-30-2006 at 04:00 PM.

07-01-2006, 05:55 AM	#2
jammi567 I'm Eru, and lord of Arda. Join Date: May 2006 Location: southampton, hampshire Posts: 2,609	Golden hair, great eyes and can read your mind, and has a magic basin. Are you a flamming eyeball with a volcano, a tall tower, and an army of hundreds of thousands, who wants to control middle earth. If so, then call 425237435 47367968, or alternatively, e-mail me at: galadriel@lothlorien.com __________________ Vote for me, Jammi567, in the 2008 Entmoot elections, and you will get many of the things we need: free, unbiased, newspapers; a strong alliance with many countries, so that war doesn't start over someone breaking their nose on a doorframe; etc, etc This forum is lonely. It's new and confused, and doesn't have many friends yet. Help today by joining for free, posting, and posting this message and link in your sig. So please, join and help make it feel welcomed and loved.

03-26-2002, 04:40 AM	#3
Nibs Head Hollara Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 751	Ring-bearer wanted Must be resilient to dark magic, enjoy bleak landscapes, and excel with little hope Call 938-GNDF for info. Help wanted Minas Tirith guard - P/T Longevity not preferred Life insurance a must Inquire at the citadel ASAP Scaled creature seeks companion Must be proficient in small talk and lethargy Foreign scent a must E-mail: AllAlone@theLonelyMountain.bord __________________ "People used to ring up and say 'Don't quit your day job' or 'sell your synth', but the joke's on them: we were fired and the synth is broken!" -John Flansburgh from They Might Be Giants Ever heard of Mormons? I'm one. Click here to know more about us.

03-26-2002, 10:21 AM	#4
markedel 'Sober' Mullet Frosh Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Queen's Posts: 1,245	Lonely white Cat seeking new owner. Any pedigree accpeted as long as not a paranoid manhating loner. Call 1-800-TAR-CATS __________________ "Earnur was a man like his father in valour, but not in wisdom"

03-26-2002, 01:40 PM	#5
Elf Girl Lurker Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Lothlórien Posts: 3,419	Waterfall seeks companion. Interest in sunsets a must. Contact me at 123-THEVEIL. __________________ There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium...

03-26-2002, 04:33 PM	#6
Tanoliel Eccentric Chocolate Crow Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The Emerald City--Seattle, WA Posts: 1,861	Uh...markedel, what's the white cat? sorry, I don't think well when I'm sick.. I've got an ad...though not a singles ad... "Bombur: Hello, this is Bombur the dwarf, at your service. I am here to tell you about the Middle Earth Weight Loss Program! I used to be overweight and unhealthy, and even my wife didn't want to talk to me! But then I went on a journey sponsored by the MEWL Program, and I lost 42 pounds in two months! Just try it! MEWL promises a signigicant weight loss or your money back, guaranteed! VoiceOver: Give Middle Earth Weight Loss Program a call at 1-800-MEWL, and change your life forever! (small fast voice you can never understand: MEWL is not responsible for any loss of possesions, limbs, sanity or life on the journey. A good insurance plan is reccomended.) " yeah...I know it's dumb. But that's what they sound like! -tano __________________ Wisdom for Short Attention Spans...Ozy and Millie. It rocks. Food Of The Gods: 3,7-dihydro-3,7-dimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione Feed Me.... Another Online Dwelling Place... "All right, I confess. It is my intention to comandeer a ship, pick up a crew in Tortuga, to rape, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out." -Captain Jack Sparrow "The trouble with unknown enemies is that they are so difficult to identify." -Amelia Peabody Emerson "Most people obey the orders of someone who is pointing a gun at their head." -A.P. Emerson

03-26-2002, 04:34 PM	#7
markedel 'Sober' Mullet Frosh Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Queen's Posts: 1,245	Queen Beruthiel had 9 cats. 8 Black. One white. __________________ "Earnur was a man like his father in valour, but not in wisdom"

03-28-2002, 03:57 PM	#8
Kwijibo Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Lothlorien (actually Wales, but let's not talk about that) Posts: 117	Imagine reading these in the paper! Odd, inexplicable male seeks female for LTR (long term relationship). Must not mind living near haunted Barrow-Downs and nasty trees or living in total isolation from the world. Must enjoy bright colours like blue and yellow, singing and ... er... singing. Contact me on 1-900-TOMB. Intelligent, very hairy istar seeks female for friendship. Must enjoy saving the world, firework displays, POP (picking on Pippin) and dining with Balrogs. Age not an issue. Good-looking king seeks queen. Must have several different names (about a dozen will do). Must enjoy saving the world, killing evil things, protecting little people and raising dead people. Elf princesses preferable. Go to Minas Tirith and ask for Elessar. __________________ 'So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you can decide is what to do with the time that is given to you,' - Gandalf the Grey 'I left my body to science, but I'm afraid they've turned it down' - In memory of Graham Chapman 'Rubin sits like Buddah in a 10 foot cell, An innocent man in a living hell,' - From 'Hurricane' by Bob Dylan, the only innocent Hurricane protest song, written stressing the innocence of Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter, a black, middle-weight boxer imprisoned for 19 for a triple murder which he did not commit.

03-31-2002, 11:55 PM	#9
cassiopeia Viggoholic Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 1,749	Elderly gentleman seeking companionship in inpenetrable fortress. Likes: magic rings, long walks, the color white, wizard duels and genetics. Dislikes: Gandalf the Grey. Seeking lady who will help to rule Middle Earth. Although elderly looking, still feels young and vigourous and will live for many more years. Has a large staff which still works. Reply to: Many Colors c/o Middle Earth Post __________________ Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

04-01-2002, 04:16 PM	#10
TinuvielChild Padawan Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The Barony of Carolingia Posts: 2,176	welcome to the Moot, cassiopeia! __________________ There are only four questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: ONLY LOVE. Dance as though nobody's watching. Sing as though nobody's listening. Dream as though you'll live forever. Live as though you'll die tomorrow. EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMEDDCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO and proud! FRODO LIVES!!!!!

04-02-2002, 12:18 PM	#11
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	Rohirrim Lord of great honor and worthy deed seeketh young lads of noble hearts and minds who wisheth the learning of the way of advanture, honor, and glory. Thine knowledge of the hearts of steeds will thine lord require. It shall be noted, if his lordship be so forgiving, that a heart has he which melts easily to a squire or page of notable rhymes and lore. Though many be invited, one shall be chosen to honor his presence in his merry yet no less important ways about the Mark. May thou givest thine utter best for the honor of the Mark and his Lordship. __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures... Last edited by Arathorn : 04-02-2002 at 12:19 PM.

04-03-2002, 03:21 AM	#12
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	Nice title, Arathorn! Corrupted Undead King seeks nine tall, black, mysterious steeds for himself and fellow Undead kings. Non-Rohirrim-descended horse need not apply. These horses must not mind chasing after One Rings and Hobbits who carry them. Contact: The Witch King, Minas Morgul. __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

04-03-2002, 07:28 AM	#13
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	Original dark lord seeks high captain. Must be evil. Must enjoy dark voids. Must be prepared to get jiggy by the fireplace, just like old times... Call 0800 666-MORGY Last edited by Andúril : 04-03-2002 at 07:30 AM.

04-03-2002, 11:52 AM	#14
Earenya Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Pinnath Gelin, formerly in Angaron... Posts: 228	High flying Eagle wishes for grounded relationship with damsel in distress. Will rescue, repeatedly if necessary. Cannot have fear of hights. __________________ O mor henion i dhu Ely siriar, el sila Ai! Aniron.... Tiro! El eria e mor I 'lir en el luitha 'uren Ai! Aniron... FRODO LIVES!

05-20-2006, 03:57 AM	#15
Farimir Captain of Gondor Spaceman Spiff Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In the belly of a Firefly, living in Serenity is where you'll find me Posts: 1,438	Hahahaha, some of these are great! Lonely troll seeks companionship. Enjoys clubbing things, and is a night owl. Looking for anyone regardless of race, age, or gender. They must only taste good in a stew. Come by the Lonely Mountain after 10 p.m. and bring some po-ta-toes. __________________ Do you hear that?

05-28-2006, 08:04 PM	#16
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	This thing is three years old!!! Funny, Doug. SWM looking for SWF for LTR. Perferes noble born lady with sword and defense skills. Go to House of Healing, Minas Tirith, Gondor to apply. or Call 1 800- SGONDOR. __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera