Favourite teacher quotes. - Page 4

Menelvagor · 09-20-2002, 07:14 PM

"F- around, band!" - my band director today.

(we have a warm up exercise where we play concert F by sections)

mirrille · 09-20-2002, 10:40 PM

This story was told during a microbiology class and the subject was vaccine testing. Now, to test whether a vaccine works or not, the clearest test is to give some people a vaccine and another group a placebo, expose both groups to the disease, and see if there is any difference in how likely the test subjects are to get sick. I can't remember the details of the example, but the story was that soldiers were used as test subjects for a vaccine against a particular STD.
Now, the prof poses the question, "Is it ethical to give people a placebo and deliberately expose them to a potentially debilitating or fatal disease?"
As the class mulls over this question in silence, he answers it himself, "In this case, it is: It's called...shore leave."
Sad, but I can see the logic.

LuthienTinuviel · 09-22-2002, 08:31 PM

"when bill ewnt to the homecoming dance, he wore astute"
~mr merrill my world Lit. tacher (he loves LotR too!)

webwizard333 · 09-22-2002, 10:06 PM

My Spanish teacher-I don't care if your house is burning down! You should be doing your homework by the light of the fire!
He has many others concerning killing off our pets for poor performance, but there are too many to list.

***Khamûl*** · 09-22-2002, 11:22 PM

A football coach - "Put your hands on your head. Now pull your head out of your butt."

My English teacher - "Wake up and pick your head up off the desk. I don't care if you can read through your ear, pick your head up." I love that one.

glasses · 09-23-2002, 04:44 PM

My english teacher (clarifying the use of well and good) "If you're good, that's bad. If you're well, that's good."

Starr Polish · 09-23-2002, 05:49 PM

"Your grandma's HOT!"

Another band teacher quote. Hehe. I'd had just shown him a picture I had drawn (of Luthien Tinuviel), and he asked who it was. One of my rather, er, boisterous friends yelled out "My grandma!", and then he made the comment. ::snerk:: My band teacher is so cool.

**crickhollow** · 11-05-2002, 09:14 PM

Dr. A, concerning the use of the literary device, apostrophe (the term used when one addresses an inanimate object): "O, Table, how firm thou art!"

And still referring to apostrophes in John Donne's sonnet 10:
"What can be more inanimate than death?"

Dussander · 11-05-2002, 10:10 PM

My history teacher, who is known for her many husbands.
"I buried three husbands...and two of them were just napping"

My 5th grade Health teacher said this When my friend commented on her outfit.
"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."

My Gym teacher who had recently gone on a whole family vacation to Hawaii.
"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. "

One of my teacher's (can't remember who) commenting to some girls.
"When on the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress!"

And this was one of my lit teachers.
"Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?"

remember that teacher I was talking about at first? Here's another one.
"Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand"

Last years History's teacher was ridiculous and hilarious. Made fun of every president. I had a nice time in his class. Can't remember anything he said right off hand.

***Rían*** · 11-05-2002, 10:19 PM

One of my college roommates was a teacher's assistant in a music class and helped grade the tests. The funniest answer she ever saw was : "Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born between 1756 and 1791."

And I thought MY labor was long!! Poor Mozart's mom!!

LuthienTinuviel · 02-12-2003, 09:06 PM

a little sit-e-ation:

Russell= pompous short band geek with 70's sideburns and a bad attitude, also teaches band class.

rebecca passes renee the babydoll that you have to take care of for two weeks to see what being a teenage mom is like and a conversation ensues:

R: you need to put that away, renee
r: it's for a class, we have to take care of it, we're PARENTS.
R: (sarcastic, holier-than thou tone) i went to high school too, i had to carry around the egg-baby, but when i came to BAND class, the baby went under my chair and i concentrated!
r:Russell, do you have any kids?
R: no, why?
r: i can see why!
R: go out in the hallway
*renee leaves and russell goes out later, leaving the door open, so we all can hear*
R: renee, get back over here i told you to wait in the hallway
*runs off down the hallway
a few second later, they are "talking" by the door.
R: i should have sent you to the office eariler
r: i wish you would have
R: what? Why?
r: so i can tell tham that you shove your kids under chairs!
the real band teacher comes out
R: Mr. Letovski, can i send renee to the office?
Mr.L: no, let me talk to to her, go file these papers
Mr.L to Renee as she sits back down: renee, you have to be careful with russell, hes a very delicate man, he doesn't know you like the rest of us do!

Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn · 02-12-2003, 09:40 PM

mr grace: "i went apesh*t on them

Celebréiel · 02-12-2003, 09:48 PM

Mr. See - (keeping in mind, this man teaches my creative writing)
"*YOU* like Lord of the rings? I mean not ,like, like....but like *like* it "

"Oh, Mine is certainly Legolas! He is the dreamiest!!"
"You should totally like write..some kind a story..with like...Legolas in it." Hes a male ditz!

Erawyn · 02-12-2003, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Celebréiel
Mr. See - (keeping in mind, this man teaches my creative writing)
"*YOU* like Lord of the rings? I mean not ,like, like....but like *like* it "
"Oh, Mine is certainly Legolas! He is the dreamiest!!"
"You should totally like write..some kind a story..with like...Legolas in it." Hes a male ditz!

Ahaha!! thats GREAT!

Well, almost everyday one of the vps at my school says libary. note lack of R.

Starr Polish · 02-13-2003, 07:22 PM

My very awesome American History teacher has given me a couple of good quotes. He's pretty cool.

"It seems when I'm lecturing you from the back of class it tends to unnerve students. Poor Allegra [Starr Polish] here has to deal with me sitting right behind her."

"Allegra, you're pretty sharp when you actually focus in class. Stop drawing."

"I'm going to get pretty worked up here, and I'm goign to start yelling. Just thought I'd warn you."

Concerning the Cuban Missile Crisis:
"The only thing I can remember about that is that it interrupted my cartoons."

Upon taking out a Communist Flag and showing a student the symbol sewn on it:
"Look at that stitching. Pretty cruddy, huh? They can blow up the world one hundred time, but the can't stitch a stinkin' flag."

And one from my choir teacher, concerning my band teacher:
"Andy T...musical genius, but man, is he weird."

Elenka · 02-13-2003, 07:41 PM

Mr Grant, geography teacher:

Me: You shouldn't give us all this homework!! You're mean!!
MG: Not mean. Evil.

Mrs. Workman: Because I taught sixth grade last year, but now I teach seventh, I know several of you. I've had the good luck of having you in my class twice. And if your luck runs out, I can have you a third year too!!

Mr Grant: Joe, can you say "E"?
J: Yeah...
MG: Can you spell "E"?
J: Yeah....E.
MG: Very good. Now you can read your report card.

Duddun · 02-13-2003, 10:24 PM

"Pull down your pants!"

My LA/History teacher last year said when the class 'clown' pulled his pants up really high.

Lady of Rohan · 02-13-2003, 10:38 PM

Sounds funny duddun!

My teachers never say anything funny like that.

Celandine · 02-19-2003, 02:05 AM

these are funny

Bunnie_Queen_1146 · 02-26-2003, 05:36 PM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Duddun
[B]"Pull down your pants!"

sound funny my teather would never say anything like that

09-20-2002, 07:14 PM	#61
Menelvagor Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: lurking on the edge of conversations Posts: 924	"F- around, band!" - my band director today. (we have a warm up exercise where we play concert F by sections) Last edited by Menelvagor : 09-20-2002 at 07:16 PM.

09-22-2002, 08:31 PM	#63
LuthienTinuviel protector of orphaned rabbits Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Kalamazoo... yes, its a real place! Posts: 1,236	"when bill ewnt to the homecoming dance, he wore astute" ~mr merrill my world Lit. tacher (he loves LotR too!) __________________

09-22-2002, 10:06 PM	#64
webwizard333 Elf Lord Join Date: May 2001 Location: myob Posts: 587	My Spanish teacher-I don't care if your house is burning down! You should be doing your homework by the light of the fire! He has many others concerning killing off our pets for poor performance, but there are too many to list. __________________ Boo!

09-22-2002, 11:22 PM	#65
*Khamûl* Slacker Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,759	A football coach - "Put your hands on your head. Now pull your head out of your butt." My English teacher - "Wake up and pick your head up off the desk. I don't care if you can read through your ear, pick your head up." I love that one. __________________ "If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31

09-23-2002, 04:44 PM	#66
glasses Enting Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Would you like a philosophical answer? Posts: 82	My english teacher (clarifying the use of well and good) "If you're good, that's bad. If you're well, that's good." __________________ Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT? Our early attempts for a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call...Preparation H.

09-20-2002, 10:40 PM	#62
mirrille Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Canada Posts: 479	This story was told during a microbiology class and the subject was vaccine testing. Now, to test whether a vaccine works or not, the clearest test is to give some people a vaccine and another group a placebo, expose both groups to the disease, and see if there is any difference in how likely the test subjects are to get sick. I can't remember the details of the example, but the story was that soldiers were used as test subjects for a vaccine against a particular STD. Now, the prof poses the question, "Is it ethical to give people a placebo and deliberately expose them to a potentially debilitating or fatal disease?" As the class mulls over this question in silence, he answers it himself, "In this case, it is: It's called...shore leave." Sad, but I can see the logic.

09-23-2002, 05:49 PM	#67
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	"Your grandma's HOT!" Another band teacher quote. Hehe. I'd had just shown him a picture I had drawn (of Luthien Tinuviel), and he asked who it was. One of my rather, er, boisterous friends yelled out "My grandma!", and then he made the comment. ::snerk:: My band teacher is so cool. __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell

11-05-2002, 09:14 PM	#68
crickhollow The Buckleberry Fairy/Captain Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Washington State again (I miss Texas). Posts: 1,345	Dr. A, concerning the use of the literary device, apostrophe (the term used when one addresses an inanimate object): "O, Table, how firm thou art!" And still referring to apostrophes in John Donne's sonnet 10: "What can be more inanimate than death?" __________________ A day will come at last when I Shall take the hidden paths that run West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

11-05-2002, 10:10 PM	#69
Dussander Enting Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 96	My history teacher, who is known for her many husbands. "I buried three husbands...and two of them were just napping" My 5th grade Health teacher said this When my friend commented on her outfit. "Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy." My Gym teacher who had recently gone on a whole family vacation to Hawaii. "Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. " One of my teacher's (can't remember who) commenting to some girls. "When on the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress!" And this was one of my lit teachers. "Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?" remember that teacher I was talking about at first? Here's another one. "Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand" Last years History's teacher was ridiculous and hilarious. Made fun of every president. I had a nice time in his class. Can't remember anything he said right off hand. __________________ The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like the difference between an eggs-and-ham breakfast, the chickens were 'involved', but the pig was 'commited'. - Anonymous In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends - Martin Luther King Jr. Do or do not, there is no 'try'. - Yoda Only the dead have seen the end of war. - Plato In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkeness, and the darkness comprehendeth it not - KJV. John 1:4-5

11-05-2002, 10:19 PM	#70
*Rían* Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!) Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Not where I want to be ... Posts: 15,254	One of my college roommates was a teacher's assistant in a music class and helped grade the tests. The funniest answer she ever saw was : "Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born between 1756 and 1791." And I thought MY labor was long!! Poor Mozart's mom!! __________________ . I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva!

02-12-2003, 09:06 PM	#71
LuthienTinuviel protector of orphaned rabbits Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Kalamazoo... yes, its a real place! Posts: 1,236	a little sit-e-ation: Russell= pompous short band geek with 70's sideburns and a bad attitude, also teaches band class. rebecca passes renee the babydoll that you have to take care of for two weeks to see what being a teenage mom is like and a conversation ensues: R: you need to put that away, renee r: it's for a class, we have to take care of it, we're PARENTS. R: (sarcastic, holier-than thou tone) i went to high school too, i had to carry around the egg-baby, but when i came to BAND class, the baby went under my chair and i concentrated! r:Russell, do you have any kids? R: no, why? r: i can see why! R: go out in the hallway renee leaves and russell goes out later, leaving the door open, so we all can hear R: renee, get back over here i told you to wait in the hallway *runs off down the hallway a few second later, they are "talking" by the door. R: i should have sent you to the office eariler r: i wish you would have R: what? Why? r: so i can tell tham that you shove your kids under chairs! the real band teacher comes out R: Mr. Letovski, can i send renee to the office? Mr.L: no, let me talk to to her, go file these papers Mr.L to Renee as she sits back down: renee, you have to be careful with russell, hes a very delicate man, he doesn't know you like the rest of us do! __________________

02-12-2003, 09:40 PM	#72
Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn The Elven Queen Of All Pyros Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Im like a little bug stuck in the lamp...never going anywhere Posts: 795	mr grace: "i went apesh*t on them __________________ Would you judge my future based on what i did in the past? Procrastinators Unite!!!.....tomorrrow.... Kids in backseats cause accidents...accidents in backseats cause kids As long as there are tests..there will be prayers in school

02-12-2003, 09:48 PM	#73
Celebréiel Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: A house! Posts: 376	Mr. See - (keeping in mind, this man teaches my creative writing) "YOU like Lord of the rings? I mean not ,like, like....but like like it " "Oh, Mine is certainly Legolas! He is the dreamiest!!" "You should totally like write..some kind a story..with like...Legolas in it." Hes a male ditz! __________________ Peace Yeah, Your an individual...just like everyone else. http://cartalien.deviantart.com/ - Arty goodness

02-13-2003, 07:22 PM	#75
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	My very awesome American History teacher has given me a couple of good quotes. He's pretty cool. "It seems when I'm lecturing you from the back of class it tends to unnerve students. Poor Allegra [Starr Polish] here has to deal with me sitting right behind her." "Allegra, you're pretty sharp when you actually focus in class. Stop drawing." "I'm going to get pretty worked up here, and I'm goign to start yelling. Just thought I'd warn you." Concerning the Cuban Missile Crisis: "The only thing I can remember about that is that it interrupted my cartoons." Upon taking out a Communist Flag and showing a student the symbol sewn on it: "Look at that stitching. Pretty cruddy, huh? They can blow up the world one hundred time, but the can't stitch a stinkin' flag." And one from my choir teacher, concerning my band teacher: "Andy T...musical genius, but man, is he weird." __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell Last edited by Starr Polish : 02-13-2003 at 07:25 PM.

02-13-2003, 07:41 PM	#76
Elenka The Negative Soul of Entmoot Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Middle Distance Posts: 651	Mr Grant, geography teacher: Me: You shouldn't give us all this homework!! You're mean!! MG: Not mean. Evil. Mrs. Workman: Because I taught sixth grade last year, but now I teach seventh, I know several of you. I've had the good luck of having you in my class twice. And if your luck runs out, I can have you a third year too!! Mr Grant: Joe, can you say "E"? J: Yeah... MG: Can you spell "E"? J: Yeah....E. MG: Very good. Now you can read your report card. __________________ W00T for the M00T!! War doesn't determine who is right - war determines who is left.

02-13-2003, 10:24 PM	#77
Duddun I Antha Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: You expect ME to know? Posts: 784	"Pull down your pants!" My LA/History teacher last year said when the class 'clown' pulled his pants up really high. __________________ If you say my name I go "What?" If you say my name twice I go and look it up in the dictionary. **************************** I'm Not Evil! ************************** If the critics say it's good, is it really That good? ************************** It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's a balloon! **************************** Duddun, Son of Bubbun

02-13-2003, 10:38 PM	#78
Lady of Rohan Doughy Elf Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 1,006	Sounds funny duddun! My teachers never say anything funny like that.

02-19-2003, 02:05 AM	#79
Celandine Elven Warrior Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 168	these are funny __________________ If you look in a mirror it surely would crack My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone You can do it a trot, you can do it at a gallop, you can do it at a rate so your heart don't palpatate, just don't be late, do the PUYALLUP and in the morning i'm makin' WAFFLES We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz. Because, because, because, because, BECAUSE of the wonderful things he does. I am a banana. All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel, the monkey thought it was all in fun, POP goes the weasel Do you think Chelsey's smart? Texaco, star of the American Road! You can trust your car with the man who wears the star at the big bright texaco star!! TEXACO FOREVER!!! It's texaco.com http://www.texaco.com/texaco/

02-26-2003, 05:36 PM	#80
Bunnie_Queen_1146 90% angel Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Unknown>:) Posts: 243	[QUOTE]Originally posted by Duddun [B]"Pull down your pants!" sound funny my teather would never say anything like that __________________ Call me BQ orTiny. Since I can't change my user name.lol Don't you remember/ The fizz in a pepper/Peanuts in a bottle/At ten, two and four/A fried bologna sandwich/With mayo and tomato/Sittin' round the table/Don't happen much anymore /Back when a hoe was a hoe/Coke was a coke/And crack's what you were doing/When you were cracking jokes/Back when a screw was a screw/The wind was all that blew/And when you said I'm down with that Well it meant you had the flu/I miss back when

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