The Jokes Thread - Page 4

Glorious Glorfindel · 03-23-2002, 04:00 PM

lol nariel!!!!
okay this is slightly rude if u know what a brothel is.
the clinton family r going on holiday. one day, the housekeeper comes downstairs to find that the family pet-a parrot is dead.
she goes to a petstore and tries to find a parrot exactly the same. she finds one, and jst before she buy's it, the petstore manager warns her that the parrot was kept in a brothel previously. and the housekeeper goes yeah yeah, fine, jst lemme buy it.
so she gets home, and the parrot gets used 2 the house so that when the clintons arrive home they don't notice any difference. hilary clinton walks in the room and the parrot goes 'hello darlin'
chelsea clinton walks into the room and the parrot goes 'hello darlin'
bill clinton walks into the room and the parrot goes 'hello bill'

not many pple get this joke, read it over and over, and realise that the joke is saying that bill once went to a brothel. if u don't know what a brothel is, ask strawberry, she went to one in italy.

eowyn144 · 03-23-2002, 04:24 PM

There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.

Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."

So, the man in the boat drove off.

The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in.

Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."

The person in the boat then left.

The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in.

Jim said, "That's okay."

The woman said, "Are you sure?"

Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me."

Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to heaven and was face-to-face with God.

Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What happened?"

God replied, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?"

eowyn144 · 03-23-2002, 04:25 PM

its a long one but its good:

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other at the bar. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and dozing, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa."
Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look.

He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the digital cellphone via infra-red wireless connection to his modem port and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mail to all his co-workers, friends, clients, and suppliers that he knows. And then some. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Wayfarer · 03-23-2002, 04:27 PM

I don't know who comes out worse in that, blondes or lawyers. ]: )

Glorious Glorfindel · 03-23-2002, 04:30 PM

ha ha eowyn ,thats histerical!!!!!

Arathorn · 03-24-2002, 03:19 AM

Eleruin · 03-29-2002, 12:55 AM

Q: How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
A: You open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door.

Q: How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
A: You open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and close the door.

Q: All the animals in the world--every bird, reptile, cat, dog, bug, whatever--are all in this big meeting, except for one. Who's not at the meeting?
A: The elephant; he's still in the refrigerator!

Last one:
Q: There's this big river that you absolutely need to get across. There's no boat, no bridge, no stepping stones or fallen logs to walk on, and the river's infested with alligators, but you *really* need to got across. What do you do?
A: Swim across. It's safe; the alliagators are all in the meeting!!

-Elly

Eleruin · 03-29-2002, 12:56 AM

Q: How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
A: You open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door.

Q: How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
A: You open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and close the door.

Q: All the animals in the world--every bird, reptile, cat, dog, bug, whatever--are all in this big meeting, except for one. Who's not at the meeting?
A: The elephant; he's still in the refrigerator!

Last one:
Q: There's this big river that you absolutely need to get across. There's no boat, no bridge, no stepping stones or fallen logs to walk on, and the river's infested with alligators, but you *really* need to get across. What do you do?
A: Swim across. It's safe; the alliagators are all in the meeting!!

-Elly

Eleruin · 03-29-2002, 12:57 AM

Oops, I accidentally posted twice. Sorry.

-Eleruin

Eruviel Greenleaf · 03-29-2002, 01:33 AM

whyohwhycaninotrememberanyjokes?

Moondancer · 04-17-2002, 05:24 PM

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and sits down at one of the tables. When the waiter comes up, the panda orders some bamboo. The bamboo is served and the panda proceeds to enjoy its meal.

Once the panda has finished eating, the waiter comes up and puts the bill on the table. To the astonishment of everyone, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter.

The owner of the restaurant runs to the table and demands to know why the panda has done this. The panda tells the owner to look up the definition of 'panda' in the dictionary-- he will find the answer there.

The owner begins to thumb through his dictionary, and finds the entry. It says: Panda, a large black and white mammal that eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves.

There is a man named Arty. His wife comes up to him one day and says, 'Arty, I'm cooking dinner for four people tonight. I need for you to go to the store and buy some artichokes. Here is a dollar.'

Arty takes the dollar, mumbling under his breath, and drives to the store. He hasn't been to store in awhile, so he walks up to an employee and asks them where the artichokes are. The employee says he doesn't know, he works in diary. So Arty chokes the man.

Arty asks a lady where the artichokes are. She says she doesn't work there and doesn't know. So Arty chokes her.

Arty goes to up to the manager and asks him where the artichokes are kept. The manager says, 'We don't sell artichokes.' So Arty chokes the manager.

The next day, the headlines read: Arty Chokes Three For A Dollar.

***Khamûl*** · 04-20-2002, 11:25 PM

This one is kinda punny.

A frog walks into a bank. He goes to the loan department and sits down at the desk Mrs. Patricia Whack.

She looks at him and says, "What can I do for you?"

The frog says, "I want to take a cruise to the Caribbean, and I need a loan. Give me $30,000. It's OK. You can give it to me. My name's Frank Jagger and I'm Mick Jagger's son, and I know the bank manager."

Mrs. Whack looked at him funny and said, "Ok... but I'm gonna need some collateral."

The frog pulls out a pink elephant half an inch tall.

Patricia takes the elephant and says, "I know that you know the bank manager, but I've got to see him a moment."

She goes to the back manager and says, "There's a frog out here that wants a loan. Says he's Mick Jagger's son. Do we give it to him? And what the heck is this?" She holds up the pink elephant.

The bank manager says, (are you ready?) "It's a knick-knack Patty Whack give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone."

Get it? *rim shot*

Eruviel Greenleaf · 04-20-2002, 11:32 PM

Khamul-I've heard that one before, but without the bit about the frog's father....

Very 'punny.'

galadriel88 · 04-20-2002, 11:48 PM

LOL guys, I love those!

***Khamûl*** · 04-21-2002, 12:13 AM

My apologies in advance to all you blondes.

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Glorious Glorfindel · 04-21-2002, 11:00 AM

tee hee. can't breathe!oh no, am laughing to much!!

StrawberryIcecream · 04-21-2002, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Glorious Glorfindel
if u don't know what a brothel is, ask strawberry, she went to one in italy.

HANNAH!!!!

It was not a brothal!!! Well it kind of was but it was an ancient Pompien one!!!! And it hough it was a soup house!!! You know, broth??

I was a young, naive Strawberry.

Ok there are al long string of jokes coming up:

A womman is locked out of her car on the side of the road after leaving her keys in the car. sHe tries everything to open the door and is about to give up hope when a young man comes a long and offers to open the door for her.

The woman says yes but that she has already tried everything.

Much to her astonishment, The man walks up to the door and rubs his bottom on the key hole. The door magically opens.

"How the heck did you do that?" says the woman,

"Well, these are Khaki jeans!" Get it? (Car-key jeans) !!

StrawberryIcecream · 04-21-2002, 11:13 AM

There are two sweets having a drink at the bar.

1st sweet " Oi barman! Were really tough sweets, get us a drink will ya?"
2nd sweet "yeah were REALLY tough!!!"

The two brother sweets are drinking their beers when suddenly a cough sweet walks in the bar.

The two brother sweets quicl run into the toilets and hide there. About quater of an hour later, the barmen comes looking for them.

"Oi!!! I though you said you were really tough? Why did you run away from that Cough sweet?"

1st sweet " we ARE tough, its just he was menthol!!!"

stupid i know but i love it!

StrawberryIcecream · 04-21-2002, 11:16 AM

Ok you may think you have deja vu but this is a different version than the first. (this might only work if you live in the uk)

There are two peices of tarmac having a drink at the bar.

Tarmac 1 " Oi barman! Were really tough tarmac, get us a drink will ya?"
tarmac 2"yeah were REALLY tough!!!"

The two tarmacs are drinking their beers when suddenly a red peice of tarmac walks in the bar.

The two black tarmacs quicl run into the toilets and hide there. About quater of an hour later, the barmen comes looking for them.

"Oi!!! I though you said you were really tough? Why did you run away from that red tarmac?"

Tarmac 2" we ARE tough, its just he was a cyclepath!!! (psycopath get it???!!!) (in the uk, cycle paths are red btw."

Rosie-Lass · 04-21-2002, 11:57 AM

Those jokes are so funny!

I have a v. short one and Strawberry, GG and Eowyn will already have heard it many times:

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to go and sit in the corner.

I'm blonde myself, so no offence all my fellow blondes!

03-23-2002, 04:00 PM	#61
Glorious Glorfindel Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: im too doped up to remember Posts: 371	more jokes! lol nariel!!!! okay this is slightly rude if u know what a brothel is. the clinton family r going on holiday. one day, the housekeeper comes downstairs to find that the family pet-a parrot is dead. she goes to a petstore and tries to find a parrot exactly the same. she finds one, and jst before she buy's it, the petstore manager warns her that the parrot was kept in a brothel previously. and the housekeeper goes yeah yeah, fine, jst lemme buy it. so she gets home, and the parrot gets used 2 the house so that when the clintons arrive home they don't notice any difference. hilary clinton walks in the room and the parrot goes 'hello darlin' chelsea clinton walks into the room and the parrot goes 'hello darlin' bill clinton walks into the room and the parrot goes 'hello bill' not many pple get this joke, read it over and over, and realise that the joke is saying that bill once went to a brothel. if u don't know what a brothel is, ask strawberry, she went to one in italy. __________________ A Elbereth Gilthonial Silivren penna miriel o menal aglar elenath Na-chaered palan-diriel o galadhremmin ennorath Fanuilos, le linnathon nef aear, si nef aearon! add a drop of lavander to milk. leave town with an orange and pretend you're laughing at it.

03-23-2002, 04:24 PM	#62
eowyn144 Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 435	There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him. Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." So, the man in the boat drove off. The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in. Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." The person in the boat then left. The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in. Jim said, "That's okay." The woman said, "Are you sure?" Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me." Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to heaven and was face-to-face with God. Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What happened?" God replied, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?" __________________ If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe

03-23-2002, 04:25 PM	#63
eowyn144 Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 435	its a long one but its good: A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other at the bar. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and dozing, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the digital cellphone via infra-red wireless connection to his modem port and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mail to all his co-workers, friends, clients, and suppliers that he knows. And then some. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep. __________________ If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe

03-23-2002, 04:27 PM	#64
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	I don't know who comes out worse in that, blondes or lawyers. ]: ) __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned

03-23-2002, 04:30 PM	#65
Glorious Glorfindel Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: im too doped up to remember Posts: 371	ha ha eowyn ,thats histerical!!!!! __________________ A Elbereth Gilthonial Silivren penna miriel o menal aglar elenath Na-chaered palan-diriel o galadhremmin ennorath Fanuilos, le linnathon nef aear, si nef aearon! add a drop of lavander to milk. leave town with an orange and pretend you're laughing at it.

03-24-2002, 03:19 AM	#66
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	__________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

03-29-2002, 12:55 AM	#67
Eleruin Sapling Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Arnor Posts: 14	Q: How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? A: You open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door. Q: How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? A: You open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and close the door. Q: All the animals in the world--every bird, reptile, cat, dog, bug, whatever--are all in this big meeting, except for one. Who's not at the meeting? A: The elephant; he's still in the refrigerator! Last one: Q: There's this big river that you absolutely need to get across. There's no boat, no bridge, no stepping stones or fallen logs to walk on, and the river's infested with alligators, but you really need to got across. What do you do? A: Swim across. It's safe; the alliagators are all in the meeting!! -Elly

03-29-2002, 12:56 AM	#68
Eleruin Sapling Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Arnor Posts: 14	Q: How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? A: You open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door. Q: How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? A: You open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and close the door. Q: All the animals in the world--every bird, reptile, cat, dog, bug, whatever--are all in this big meeting, except for one. Who's not at the meeting? A: The elephant; he's still in the refrigerator! Last one: Q: There's this big river that you absolutely need to get across. There's no boat, no bridge, no stepping stones or fallen logs to walk on, and the river's infested with alligators, but you really need to get across. What do you do? A: Swim across. It's safe; the alliagators are all in the meeting!! -Elly

03-29-2002, 12:57 AM	#69
Eleruin Sapling Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Arnor Posts: 14	Oops, I accidentally posted twice. Sorry. -Eleruin

03-29-2002, 01:33 AM	#70
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	whyohwhycaninotrememberanyjokes? __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

04-17-2002, 05:24 PM	#71
Moondancer Hobbit Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: U.S.A Posts: 22	A panda bear walks into a restaurant and sits down at one of the tables. When the waiter comes up, the panda orders some bamboo. The bamboo is served and the panda proceeds to enjoy its meal. Once the panda has finished eating, the waiter comes up and puts the bill on the table. To the astonishment of everyone, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. The owner of the restaurant runs to the table and demands to know why the panda has done this. The panda tells the owner to look up the definition of 'panda' in the dictionary-- he will find the answer there. The owner begins to thumb through his dictionary, and finds the entry. It says: Panda, a large black and white mammal that eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves. There is a man named Arty. His wife comes up to him one day and says, 'Arty, I'm cooking dinner for four people tonight. I need for you to go to the store and buy some artichokes. Here is a dollar.' Arty takes the dollar, mumbling under his breath, and drives to the store. He hasn't been to store in awhile, so he walks up to an employee and asks them where the artichokes are. The employee says he doesn't know, he works in diary. So Arty chokes the man. Arty asks a lady where the artichokes are. She says she doesn't work there and doesn't know. So Arty chokes her. Arty goes to up to the manager and asks him where the artichokes are kept. The manager says, 'We don't sell artichokes.' So Arty chokes the manager. The next day, the headlines read: Arty Chokes Three For A Dollar.

04-20-2002, 11:25 PM	#72
*Khamûl* Slacker Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,759	This one is kinda punny. A frog walks into a bank. He goes to the loan department and sits down at the desk Mrs. Patricia Whack. She looks at him and says, "What can I do for you?" The frog says, "I want to take a cruise to the Caribbean, and I need a loan. Give me $30,000. It's OK. You can give it to me. My name's Frank Jagger and I'm Mick Jagger's son, and I know the bank manager." Mrs. Whack looked at him funny and said, "Ok... but I'm gonna need some collateral." The frog pulls out a pink elephant half an inch tall. Patricia takes the elephant and says, "I know that you know the bank manager, but I've got to see him a moment." She goes to the back manager and says, "There's a frog out here that wants a loan. Says he's Mick Jagger's son. Do we give it to him? And what the heck is this?" She holds up the pink elephant. The bank manager says, (are you ready?) "It's a knick-knack Patty Whack give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone." Get it? rim shot __________________ "If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31

04-20-2002, 11:32 PM	#73
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	Khamul-I've heard that one before, but without the bit about the frog's father.... Very 'punny.' __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

04-20-2002, 11:48 PM	#74
galadriel88 Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Far off in a dream Posts: 1,166	LOL guys, I love those! __________________ The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come."

04-21-2002, 12:13 AM	#75
*Khamûl* Slacker Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,759	My apologies in advance to all you blondes. A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'' The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!'' __________________ "If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31

04-21-2002, 11:00 AM	#76
Glorious Glorfindel Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: im too doped up to remember Posts: 371	tee hee. can't breathe!oh no, am laughing to much!! __________________ A Elbereth Gilthonial Silivren penna miriel o menal aglar elenath Na-chaered palan-diriel o galadhremmin ennorath Fanuilos, le linnathon nef aear, si nef aearon! add a drop of lavander to milk. leave town with an orange and pretend you're laughing at it.

04-21-2002, 11:13 AM	#78
StrawberryIcecream Elf Lord Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: In my jeans Posts: 915	There are two sweets having a drink at the bar. 1st sweet " Oi barman! Were really tough sweets, get us a drink will ya?" 2nd sweet "yeah were REALLY tough!!!" The two brother sweets are drinking their beers when suddenly a cough sweet walks in the bar. The two brother sweets quicl run into the toilets and hide there. About quater of an hour later, the barmen comes looking for them. "Oi!!! I though you said you were really tough? Why did you run away from that Cough sweet?" 1st sweet " we ARE tough, its just he was menthol!!!" stupid i know but i love it! __________________ www.foolofatook.com for all you pippin's out there.

04-21-2002, 11:16 AM	#79
StrawberryIcecream Elf Lord Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: In my jeans Posts: 915	Ok you may think you have deja vu but this is a different version than the first. (this might only work if you live in the uk) There are two peices of tarmac having a drink at the bar. Tarmac 1 " Oi barman! Were really tough tarmac, get us a drink will ya?" tarmac 2"yeah were REALLY tough!!!" The two tarmacs are drinking their beers when suddenly a red peice of tarmac walks in the bar. The two black tarmacs quicl run into the toilets and hide there. About quater of an hour later, the barmen comes looking for them. "Oi!!! I though you said you were really tough? Why did you run away from that red tarmac?" Tarmac 2" we ARE tough, its just he was a cyclepath!!! (psycopath get it???!!!) (in the uk, cycle paths are red btw." __________________ www.foolofatook.com for all you pippin's out there.

04-21-2002, 11:57 AM	#80
Rosie-Lass Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: A dizzy state between insanity and sleep! Posts: 173	Those jokes are so funny! I have a v. short one and Strawberry, GG and Eowyn will already have heard it many times: Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to go and sit in the corner. I'm blonde myself, so no offence all my fellow blondes! __________________ Yoda Lives!

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