Favourite teacher quotes. - Page 3

Starr Polish · 08-25-2002, 11:05 PM

Chorus teacher-
"I will lay everyone."

***Tessar*** · 08-25-2002, 11:07 PM

Ummmm... I'm hoping that he/she didn't mean the kind of "lay" I'm thinking of...

Rána Eressëa · 08-25-2002, 11:13 PM

My Geometry Teacher: I like to read what shirts say. I find some very interesting and funny things written on them sometimes. So girls, if you see me looking at your shirt - just remember that I like reading shirts, and I'm not a dirty old man.

LOL!

Starr Polish · 08-25-2002, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tessar
Ummmm... I'm hoping that he/she didn't mean the kind of "lay" I'm thinking of...

That's how the choir read into it, but that's not what he meant. We were working on a piece, and he had been stopping and starting, making the tenors sing this part, the altos sing that part. Well, he wanted everyone to sing, and the part he wanted us to start at was "I will lay me down...", and he just shortened it, without thinking.

Menelvagor · 08-26-2002, 12:03 AM

This thread is hilarious! I wish my teachers said stuff like this!

Arathorn · 08-26-2002, 12:09 AM

My Advanced Differential Equations professor in college:

"L'Hopital's Rule has many uses. For example... <interrupted> Oh I've got a message? Thanks"

"L'Hopital's Rule has many uses. For example... <interrupted> Oh you've got any questions? None? OK"

"L'Hopital's Rule has many uses. For example... <interrupted> Oh, I almost forgot, the Dean announced..."

"L'Hopital's Rule has many uses. For example... <interrupted> Oh what was I saying again?"

Gosh, he sounded like a broken record everytime he got interrupted (4 or 5 time).

BeardofPants · 08-26-2002, 12:09 AM

My ancient history proff used to yell NOT STONE ARCHITECTURE! at us when we were covering early egyptian mustabas. Right before he passed out in an alcoholic stupour....

Andúril · 08-26-2002, 03:44 AM

In standard six (grade 8), in our "guidance" class, the teacher asked us what we would like to do for that period.

One of the kids got up and wrote on the blackboard "Big debate".
He sat down, and when the teacher wasn't looking, someone else got up and replaced "big" with "mass".

The teacher promptly announced that we were all going to have a mass debate. He said it quite a few times, actually, before he caught on....

[edit]Upon reading through this thread, I see someone else has already mentioned "master debater". Oh well. Mine's better...[/edit]

Sween · 08-26-2002, 07:27 AM

the best one for me was in asembly one day one the teacher starting saying how the school was crap the headteacher was a complete............... then promptly resigned.

Also very strange things like 'rules were made to be broken', 'im going to teach you about my time in jail'.

Our PE teacher was the best he was as they all are a little perverted and one day the girls were doing handstands and he was helping himself to a peak as they did them holding there legs for support. Anyway he overheard us talking about this and he said 'i was not looking at there croaches i was making sure they had regulation underwear on' hmmmm yeah right

Elenka · 08-26-2002, 08:43 AM

My fith grade teacher was forever telling us, "I'm perfect"

My sixth grade teacher ended science with the phrase "Streaking, flashing and mooning" or something to that effect.

Sween · 08-26-2002, 09:40 AM

every friday our form teacher used to 'have a good weekend and be good and if you cannot be good be careful'

Eruviel Greenleaf · 08-28-2002, 04:12 AM

In an 11th grade lecture a humanities teacher once said: 'In fite of the spact.'

Erawyn · 08-29-2002, 12:13 AM

Well are tech teacher said this a lot last year- "shut up before i come over there and rip your arm off" ... that was nice.

What about stupid things you;ve done/said to teachers?
I told my science teacher to shut up once, sort of unconciously. He was blabbing on and on and on listing all the hyrocarbons, and in my half concious stupour i said shut up very loudly, i thought i was whispering... and then when the same teacher told me to watch my language ( i had been swearing quite loudly, but not during class) I said yes'm. The thing is my teacher isn't a ma'am.

katya · 08-29-2002, 09:16 PM

my english teacher who says a lot of things but i cant seem to think of them. oh well.

social studies teacher (he heard someone say "hey man") "hey man, you lost my car! that movie looks really stupid."

is social studies class the principal came in: (hes 40 but looks 50 at least)
principal:what's today's subject?
teacher:valley forge
student:remember that?

in "choices and challenges" after getting reproducvtive system anatomy study sheets:"now dont lose these. i dont want to see any penises or vaginas in the hallway!"

english teacher talking about origins/nationallities and how most of us have mixed ancestry:"there aren't many straight people around nowadays."
(giggles)
teacher:"you people know more than you should." (he's terribly homophobic)

**crickhollow** · 09-17-2002, 09:45 PM

While reading Chaucer aloud to us, my Prof. constantly says, "now, notice, this is a bit of satire, so, laugh here." at which point, we all laugh, and he says, "thank you very much."

**crickhollow** · 09-20-2002, 05:45 PM

Math for Elementary Teachers Prof: Xsub1 and Ysub1 can never be X and Y. This always reminds me of the red queen. Does anyone know why?

(at this point I spoke up for the first time during the semester)"Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today?"
Prof: That's right! What's the rule?
Me:Jam every other day
Prof: and today isn't?
Me: Any other day!

(if you don't get it, don't worry, the rest of the class was pretty clueless, too. I mean really, How often do you meet a math professor who spouts Lewis Carroll?)

glasses · 09-20-2002, 05:55 PM

My old math teacher: (when we asked her to explain a problem for us): "I am not your slave!" or "I am not your tutor, I am your teacher!"

Eruviel Greenleaf · 09-20-2002, 05:57 PM

...but isn't that what teachers are for? Explaining stuff?

Your math prof. sounds really cool, crickhollow!

**crickhollow** · 09-20-2002, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Eruviel Greenleaf
Your math prof. sounds really cool, crickhollow!

he was awesome--the only person I know who went for a double major in Math and English (actually, he had all the credits for the english major, but the english dept of the university he went to said that he had too many math credits to receive the english degree, even though he had fulfilled all the requirements--stinks, huh?)

His other favorite thing to say was, "What do they teach children at these schools?" Which narnia fans should recognize instantly as the Professor

Hasty Ent · 09-20-2002, 07:08 PM

A nun said this to me many years ago and it continues to haunt me

:

This will be written up on your permanent record, young lady, which will follow you for the rest of your life!

08-25-2002, 11:05 PM	#41
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	Chorus teacher- "I will lay everyone." __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell

08-26-2002, 12:09 AM	#46
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	My Advanced Differential Equations professor in college: "L'Hopital's Rule has many uses. For example... <interrupted> Oh I've got a message? Thanks" "L'Hopital's Rule has many uses. For example... <interrupted> Oh you've got any questions? None? OK" "L'Hopital's Rule has many uses. For example... <interrupted> Oh, I almost forgot, the Dean announced..." "L'Hopital's Rule has many uses. For example... <interrupted> Oh what was I saying again?" Gosh, he sounded like a broken record everytime he got interrupted (4 or 5 time). __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

08-26-2002, 12:09 AM	#47
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	My ancient history proff used to yell NOT STONE ARCHITECTURE! at us when we were covering early egyptian mustabas. Right before he passed out in an alcoholic stupour.... __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords Last edited by BeardofPants : 08-26-2002 at 12:11 AM.

08-26-2002, 03:44 AM	#48
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	In standard six (grade 8), in our "guidance" class, the teacher asked us what we would like to do for that period. One of the kids got up and wrote on the blackboard "Big debate". He sat down, and when the teacher wasn't looking, someone else got up and replaced "big" with "mass". The teacher promptly announced that we were all going to have a mass debate. He said it quite a few times, actually, before he caught on.... [edit]Upon reading through this thread, I see someone else has already mentioned "master debater". Oh well. Mine's better...[/edit] Last edited by Andúril : 08-26-2002 at 03:54 AM.

08-26-2002, 07:27 AM	#49
Sween im quite stupid Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cockermouth Posts: 2,058	the best one for me was in asembly one day one the teacher starting saying how the school was crap the headteacher was a complete............... then promptly resigned. Also very strange things like 'rules were made to be broken', 'im going to teach you about my time in jail'. Our PE teacher was the best he was as they all are a little perverted and one day the girls were doing handstands and he was helping himself to a peak as they did them holding there legs for support. Anyway he overheard us talking about this and he said 'i was not looking at there croaches i was making sure they had regulation underwear on' hmmmm yeah right __________________ Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot

08-25-2002, 11:07 PM	#42
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	Ummmm... I'm hoping that he/she didn't mean the kind of "lay" I'm thinking of...

08-25-2002, 11:13 PM	#43
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	My Geometry Teacher: I like to read what shirts say. I find some very interesting and funny things written on them sometimes. So girls, if you see me looking at your shirt - just remember that I like reading shirts, and I'm not a dirty old man. LOL!

08-26-2002, 12:03 AM	#45
Menelvagor Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: lurking on the edge of conversations Posts: 924	This thread is hilarious! I wish my teachers said stuff like this!

08-26-2002, 08:43 AM	#50
Elenka The Negative Soul of Entmoot Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Middle Distance Posts: 651	My fith grade teacher was forever telling us, "I'm perfect" My sixth grade teacher ended science with the phrase "Streaking, flashing and mooning" or something to that effect. __________________ W00T for the M00T!! War doesn't determine who is right - war determines who is left.

08-26-2002, 09:40 AM	#51
Sween im quite stupid Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cockermouth Posts: 2,058	every friday our form teacher used to 'have a good weekend and be good and if you cannot be good be careful' __________________ Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot

08-28-2002, 04:12 AM	#52
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	In an 11th grade lecture a humanities teacher once said: 'In fite of the spact.' __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

08-29-2002, 12:13 AM	#53
Erawyn Elven Warrior Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: america junior Posts: 320	Well are tech teacher said this a lot last year- "shut up before i come over there and rip your arm off" ... that was nice. What about stupid things you;ve done/said to teachers? I told my science teacher to shut up once, sort of unconciously. He was blabbing on and on and on listing all the hyrocarbons, and in my half concious stupour i said shut up very loudly, i thought i was whispering... and then when the same teacher told me to watch my language ( i had been swearing quite loudly, but not during class) I said yes'm. The thing is my teacher isn't a ma'am. __________________ peace never hurt anyone "Be not so bigoted to any custom as to worship it at the expense of Truth." Johann Georg von Zimmermann

08-29-2002, 09:16 PM	#54
katya Elven Maiden Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 3,309	my english teacher who says a lot of things but i cant seem to think of them. oh well. social studies teacher (he heard someone say "hey man") "hey man, you lost my car! that movie looks really stupid." is social studies class the principal came in: (hes 40 but looks 50 at least) principal:what's today's subject? teacher:valley forge student:remember that? in "choices and challenges" after getting reproducvtive system anatomy study sheets:"now dont lose these. i dont want to see any penises or vaginas in the hallway!" english teacher talking about origins/nationallities and how most of us have mixed ancestry:"there aren't many straight people around nowadays." (giggles) teacher:"you people know more than you should." (he's terribly homophobic) Last edited by katya : 08-29-2002 at 09:18 PM.

09-17-2002, 09:45 PM	#55
crickhollow The Buckleberry Fairy/Captain Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Washington State again (I miss Texas). Posts: 1,345	While reading Chaucer aloud to us, my Prof. constantly says, "now, notice, this is a bit of satire, so, laugh here." at which point, we all laugh, and he says, "thank you very much." __________________ A day will come at last when I Shall take the hidden paths that run West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

09-20-2002, 05:45 PM	#56
crickhollow The Buckleberry Fairy/Captain Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Washington State again (I miss Texas). Posts: 1,345	Math for Elementary Teachers Prof: Xsub1 and Ysub1 can never be X and Y. This always reminds me of the red queen. Does anyone know why? (at this point I spoke up for the first time during the semester)"Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today?" Prof: That's right! What's the rule? Me:Jam every other day Prof: and today isn't? Me: Any other day! (if you don't get it, don't worry, the rest of the class was pretty clueless, too. I mean really, How often do you meet a math professor who spouts Lewis Carroll?) __________________ A day will come at last when I Shall take the hidden paths that run West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

09-20-2002, 05:55 PM	#57
glasses Enting Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Would you like a philosophical answer? Posts: 82	My old math teacher: (when we asked her to explain a problem for us): "I am not your slave!" or "I am not your tutor, I am your teacher!" __________________ Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT? Our early attempts for a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call...Preparation H.

09-20-2002, 05:57 PM	#58
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	...but isn't that what teachers are for? Explaining stuff? Your math prof. sounds really cool, crickhollow! __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

09-20-2002, 07:08 PM	#60
Hasty Ent Elf Lord Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 516	A nun said this to me many years ago and it continues to haunt me : This will be written up on your permanent record, young lady, which will follow you for the rest of your life! __________________ Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

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