Lyrd Of The Ryngs - The Homies

[Grey_Wolf]

He then walked over to the lip of the cliff again and looked over the landscape, away east the storm appeared to abate.

"I think we should give decending this cliff another try. Sam, make fast one end of the rope-ladder to that stump. And I think you shall have your wish and go first. I'll hold on to the rope while you rest your feet on the ledges and the weight off me, it will help. When you're down i'll follow you."

"Very well," said Sam heavily. "If it must be, let's get it over! ' He took up the rope and made it fast over the stump nearest to the brink; then the other end he tied about his own waist. Reluctantly he turned and prepared to go over the edge a second time.

[Grey_Wolf]

It did not, however, turn out half as bad as he had expected. The rope seemed to give him confidence, though he shut his eyes more than once when he looked down between his feet. There was one awkward spot, where there was no ledge and the wall was sheer and even undercut for a short space; there he slipped and swung out on the silver line. But Frodo lowered him slowly and steadily, and it was over at last. His chief fear had been that the rope-length would give out while he was still high up, but there was still a good bight in Frodo's hands, when Sam came to the bottom and called up: "I'm down! ' His voice came up clearly from below, but Frodo could not see him; his grey elven-cloak had melted into the twilight.

[Grey_Wolf]

Frodo took rather more time to follow him. He had the rope about his waist and it was fast above, and he had shortened it so that it would pull him up before he reached the ground; still he did not want to risk a fall, and he had not quite Sam's faith in this slender grey line. He found two places, all the same, where he had to trust wholly to it: smooth surfaces where there was no hold even for his strong hobbit fingers and the ledges were far apart. But at last he too was down.
"Well!" he cried. "We've done it! We've escaped from the Emyn Muil! And now what next, I wonder? Maybe we shall soon be sighing for good hard rock under foot again."

But Sam did not answer: he was staring back up the cliff. "Ninnyhammers! ' he said. "Noodles! My beautiful rope! There it is tied to a stump, and we're at the bottom. Just as nice a little stair for that slinking Gollum as we could leave. Better put up a signpost to say which way we've gone! I thought it seemed a bit too easy."
"If you can think of any way we could have both used the rope and yet brought it down with us, then you can pass on to me ninnyhammer, or any other name your Gaffer gave you," said Frodo. "Climb up and untie it and let yourself down, if you want to!"

Sam scratched his head. "No, I can't think how, begging your pardon," he said. "But I don't like leaving it, and that's a fact." He stroked the rope's end and shook it gently. "It goes hard parting with anything I brought out of the Elf-country. Made by Galadriel herself, too, maybe. Galadriel," he murmured nodding his head mournfully. He looked up and gave one last pull to the rope as if in farewell.

To the complete surprise of both the hobbits it came loose. Sam fell over, and the long grey coils slithered silently down on top of him. Frodo laughed. "Who tied the rope? ' he said. "A good thing it held as long as it did! To think that I trusted all my weight to your knot!"

[Grey_Wolf]

The rocky ground surrounding Emyn Muil wasn't easy to traverse. Sam found it hard to find any place where they could rest. In the end they simply threw themselves down on the ground.

"Well! ' said Frodo, standing up and drawing his cloak more closely round him. "You sleep for a bit Sam and take my blanket. I'll walk up and down on sentry for a while." Suddenly he stiffened, and stooping he gripped Sam by the arm. "What's that? ' he whispered. "Look over there on the cliff!"

Sam looked and breathed in sharply through his teeth. "Ssss!" he said. "That's what it is. It's that Gollum! Snakes and adders! And to think that I thought that we'd puzzle him with our bit of a climb! Look at him! Like a nasty crawling spider on a wall."

[Grey_Wolf]

Down the cliff going head first a black shape could be seen crawling.

[EarthBound]

Gollum was an old creature, some 600 years old if time could tell. Long before his spirit was captured by the "Package", Gollum was a simple grocer and part-time taxidermist. Rumored to have taken the package from his best friend, cousin, and local spinner/lure retailer for small-mouth bass.

Upon a weekend charted fishing trip, complete with guide, fly-rods, and tomato/cheese sandwiches, Smegol (or "The Grocer" as he was commonly referred to) noticed his cousin had fallen over-board. Upon rescuing, the cousin (it turned out) had found upon the rather sever submergence with a fitful bass: two credit cards, a gold plated watch, and an ordinary package . . .

Smegol immediately killed his cousin, the guide, seven bass, and Ralfy, an irritating git who worked at the local gas station and constantly refused to wash windows or check the oil for the full-service customers. Seemingly, Smegol had done it to lay claim to the mysterious 'package' all to himself.

Upon killing Ralfy, Smegol said outloud, "Well, right . . . that was kind of odd . . . seemed to have murdered a few people . . . hmmm . . . oh, well, likely things will turn out happy enough." Proving Smegols abilities were completely hopeless concerning fore-telling and predictions....and he was an idiot.

No one noticed Ralfly was dead for 7 days, everyone had assumed he was just particular lazy that week. Upon discovering his 'lack of being alive' a new attendant was hired and the town rejoiced.

The package consumed Smegol . . . so much so he became a creature twisted and corrupted until what was left was reduced to living off his old skills as a grocer . . . err, meaning he pilfered the dumpsters behind the local IGA grocery mart for spoiled meats and 'past-date' hostess products.

The unhealthy preservatives in the hostess products gave Smegol 'un-natural' long life. That and the food coloring dye Green #32 turned him into a grotesque and smelly creature . . . but wonderfully preserved . . . much like a fruit cake.

Time drifted and Smegol forgot his name and became another . . . Gollum. Grocer no longer came to his pitiable lips, but the throaty Gollum sound became his mantra . . . his juxtaposition for self-definition . . . a paradigm of inner-being and spatial consciousness....oh, who am I kidding . . . he liked the way it sounded while he belched soda.

At one time he’d tried giving up the package by going on the ‘Patch’, but it didn’t take.

. . . and so Gollum searched and tracked the package since loosing it to Baggins in an unfortunate game of Head-Head football, the game of choice for traveling adventurous types.

Years went by . . . Gollum searched for the package, Ralfy was still dead, and the new owner of the package was about to have a series of unfortunate events concerning an ancient grocer . . .

[Grey_Wolf]

"Do you think he can see us?" said Sam.
"I don't know," said Frodo quietly, "but I think not. It is hard even for friendly eyes to see these elven-cloaks: I cannot see you in the shadow even at a few paces. And I've heard that he doesn't like Sun or Moon."
"Then why is he coming down just here? ' asked Sam.
"Quietly, Sam! ' said Frodo. "He can smell us, perhaps. And he can hear as keen as Elves, I believe. I think he has heard something now: our voices probably. We did a lot of shouting away back there; and we were talking far too loudly until a minute ago."
"Well, I'm sick of him," said Sam. "He's come once too often for me and I'm going to have a word with him, if I can. I don't suppose we could give him the slip now anyway." Drawing his grey hood well over his face, Sam crept stealthily towards the cliff.
"Careful!" whispered Frodo coming behind. "Don't alarm him! He's much more dangerous than he looks."

[Grey_Wolf]

The crawling shape paused and then continued crawling down the cliff until it had reached a comfortable height from which to take a leap of faith, there it stopped.

"Ahh, take it easy, my Package! Slowly, slowly! Let's not risk detremental accident, shall we?" He lifted his head."That blasted light in the sky. Wish they could it turn it off!"

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Slowly he lowered himself towards the ground, and twisted himself, falling, before quickly lowering his hands and feet to break his fall. Within a moment Sam was ontop of him, trying to put Smeagol into a armlock.
"Getsssssss of ussssssss, you mussst. Powerful lawyerssssssssssss we no," hissssed Smeagol.

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

"Ah, hobbits nice are they, be to usss?" said the creature, "Be nice to them, we will, if be nice to us they will??"

[Grey_Wolf]

"Stay put, Gollum!" ordered Frodo, holding out the soldering iron Sting."You been soldered by it before, I gather."

"Pleasse hurt ussss not." pleaded Gollum."Meant no harm, we did."

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Frodo raises his weapon higher.
"Argh. Hurtss ussssss, do not. Helpsssss you we can," said Gollum.

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

"safe paths through the marssshesss we knowssss, we do" went on the creature, who had rather large pointy ears, and green skin

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

"NO," shouted Sam. "Don't believe him Mr, Frodo, he'll strangle us in our sleep."
"Ssssssssstranglessss? No my package, not our sstyle, is that. A green sssssword, we prefer to usssse," replied Gollum, drawing a lighsaber.
"Umm, Gollum, wrong story," murmered Frodo.

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzmmmmmmmm hummed the lightsaber, as gollum swirled it around, before jumping over christopher lee's head, and putting it away, as christopher lee screamed and ran back to orthanc, where he was also acting as saruman

"right," said frodo, "shall we, like, gee i don't know, get going?" he asked, tapping his foot and looking at his watch

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

"Get going we shall. Throught the Dead Marshes we mussssst go. Follow me you mussssst," hissed Gollum.
"Dead Marshes? That doesn't sound good," said Sam.
"Strong is the force with this one. Good it is not, but go that way, we must."

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

"But, i am slightly firghtened!" said sam
"Fear is not good, fear leads to doubt, doubt leads to anger, anger leads to hate, this si the way of the dark side!" said gollum

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Slowly they moved that night, until dawn began to approach and Frodo bagan to fall asleep, and only Gollum and Sam were left awake.
"I don't really like you, you know, but you seem wise, so I'm just guna ask you this.
I have seen visions," said Sam.
"About pleasentries like fish, are they?" replied Gollum.
"No, of pain and suffering and death."
"Of you are these dreams? Or of someone you know?"
"Someone I know, and love. But I can not let the die Master Yo.. *clears throat* Gollum. What should I do?
"Learn to let go of everything you fear to lose. Fear is not good, fear leads to doubt, doubt leads to anger, anger leads to hate, this is the way of the dark side!"
"I know, you said earlier."

[Butterbeer]

"fear is the mind killer ... blah ... remember the bene gesserit litany about fear ... cus i've forgoten it: something about the little death ... and watch out for the worms in the marshes - they can grow to incredible sizes!"

mumbled frodo sleep-talking ....

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

gollum turned round, "troubled is the mind of the master," said he, "worries and fears much does he! Fear is not good, fear leads to doubt, doubt leads to anger, anger leads to hate, this is the way of the dark side!" he went on

sam pricked up his ears and rolled his eyes "Yes, allright I get it already, stop going on will you?" he said to the creature