The Drunk Elf Pirates and the Quest for the Holy Wine

[The last sane person]

*roya reached shore shortly after she set out. She carefully made her way to the town and was keeping a sharp look out for any of obsidians crew, finally she spots two passed out drunk infront of a bar. a few seconds later, from that same bar, out sprinted the first mate*

Roya: *odd half smile* i found her.

*she waits until xen rushes off then slips around the back of the bar adn spies obsidian. She sits and watches him with that same odd smile on her face*

Roya: *low, almost whisper voice* so, what other side trips you be planned on?

Obsidian: *same odd smile that roya has* oh, thats none of your bussiness. what you doin here? it aint time fer us yet.

Roya: *whisper* aye but tis drawin nigh. *Obsidians men burst in on the cap'n to tell of the prisonors escape, see Roya and raise a shout. Roya slips off silenlty back to the Nal and later informs the cap'n about all she saw*

[Willow Oran]

*Meanwhile inside the armory Tano and Willow stand back and admire their masterpiece of weaponry*

Tano: Well, I think we did it.

Willow: Yes, there's no doubt about it we've done it.

Tano: We've created the Ultimate Weapon.

*there is a long pause*

Willow: Now if only we knew what it did...

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *pokes cautiously at Ultimate Weapon* Maybe it...turns everything into a pinetree shaped air freshener?
Willow: Hm...no, that doesn't seem quite right. Shoots fire at them?
Tano: Nah, too standard. Well...I guess we'll have to use it and find out.
Willow: If we see any of that other crew...the ones that have our first mate--
Tano: *grins evilly* Yeah. C'mon...let's go.
*They hoist the weapon up, unlock the door and find the captain*
Willow: Cap'n--
Tano: Cap'n, we're ready.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: So, how's the weapon going?
Tano: *grinning hugely* It's done.
Willow: It's the Ultimate Weapon. *grins just as hugely*
EG: *sighs* Good. What does it do.
Willow and Tano: *turn to each other, shrug, and turn back to the Cap'n.* We don't know.
EG: Right. Okay then. Well, it's night. Prepare the weapons.
Tano: Yes, Cap'n. *mutters to herself again*
Willow: Aye, Cap'n. . .

The Captain returns to her cabin, where Flannery is waiting.
EG: Night has fallen. You may go. You scout ahead...Roya hasn't come back yet and I dunno what's up with her. But wait 'til I've gathered the whole crew.
Flannery: Aye, Cap'n.
EG: And Flannery?
Flannery: Yes?
EG: Well. . .thanks. For coming with us and everything.
Flannery: *errr* Er, well...no problem, Cap'n. I mean...I owe you and all...
EG: *nods*

The Captain ventures out on deck, Flannery following behind, to meet the crew.

EG: ALL HANDS ON DECK!!!
The crew assembles, all but Roya and the Mate, who are in fact on land.
EG: Crew. This is our moment. We have to rescue the Mate. Our time has come. I'm sending Flannery out to scout ahead, then I'm going out in a skiff with Tano and Willow. The rest of you must stay with the ship. Earniel, you're in charge. Is this clear to all? Any questions?
Ear: I'm in charge?
EG: Yes. Okay, are we good?

Right now, Flannery is standing next to and about a step behind the Captain. Just as she's finishing her sentence, she senses something nearby. Flannery is watching the crew and does not see, but the Captain is in one of those states of extreme panic where she in fact senses more than usual instead of not noticing anything. So, what she senses is a presence, and then something moving, hears something from nearby. . .and suddenly there's an ashwood arrow flying by her. . .

Before she knows what's happening or what she's doing, she's reaching out with the tankard she had in her hand (yeah, she was drinking pretty heavily amid all the planning...) and knocks aside something that would have done some serious damage to Flannery.

They all realize what had just happened at once.

EG: *staring wide-eyed at the arrow* They know we're here.

Just at that moment, Earniel dashes over to where the arrow came from, takes one of her throwing knives, and throws. . .then she turns back to the Captain. There's a splash.
Earniel: There was only one. He's from Obsidian though. Was on the dock, there. *she gestures over to a post where an archer had been perched.*
EG: *still wide-eyed* Um. Thanks. *She turns to Flannery* Um. . .?
Flannery: Captain. . .wow. . .that. . .that was amazing, I don't know. . .how you did that. . .thank you, now I really owe you, this is, well, I--thank you so much. . .*continues babbling*

OOC: Okay, here you go Tano!
Next post belongs to Tano, we've been planning this for a while, see. But Tano, just your line, 'kay? I write the next bit

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *watches as Flannery continues to babble*
Flannery: You've saved my life, that is to say, my life, per se...existence, anyway, and I can't tell you how grateful I am--

Tano: *runs out of patience* Speak, Cap'n! Or if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss and let him not speak neither!

Willow: Hey--Shakespeare!

Tano: Right on. *they high five*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

The Captain gave Tanoliel a baffled look. Then she turned back to Flannery and gave him the same look. He looked just as confused. Then he grinned slightly, raising an eyebrow. The Captain started to laugh, then stepped over to him, grabbed him by the shoulders, and kissed him. The crew applauded. Then she turned the crew with a glare, stepped back away from Flannery, going very red indeed, and started giving orders. She found a moment to say a few words to Tano:

EG: Um. Tano. Nice Much Ado ref. Now, um, just what was that all about?
Tano: Hey, I dunno...you kissed him!
EG: *blushes again* So I did. But...why'd you say that?
Tano: *shrugs and gives her a sly glance*

Then the Captain gave orders to Earniel:
EG: They know we're here. I want you to keep a good watch on the ship. That was amazing with the archer. Too bad he's dead though...but don't worry, you were great. Anyone comes, well, send the bushbaby after me. He'll get there. Here he is *hands Earniel the bushbaby that was for a while forgotten but well-fed in the cabin.*

The preperations complete, Tano, Willow, and the Captain all went ashore, being very sneaky indeed. A slightly embarrassed but rather smug Flannery had gone ahead, flying. As they went up the beach towards the town, EG saw a sailor sitting alone on the shore drinking a bottle. When he saw them, he called softly after:

Sailor: Avast, ye!
EG: *trying not to laugh, and preparing a throwing knife, just in case, though he does at least appear to be unarmed* Yeah?
Sailor: Arr! I am a poor sailor all alone. Wilt thou assist me? For I am in great danger.
EG: You're wierd. Okay. I'm busy right now, but maybe I'll help you later? What's your name?
Sailor: Zavron, good Sir. The name's Zavron.
EG: Okay, Zavron. I don't trust you, and I've no idea who or what you are, and I'm busy right now, but. . .uh. . .stay there, maybe I'll see you on the way back?
Zavron: Uh...er...okay...?

And they continue onward. . .

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Whoo! She actually did it! Guess now I have to follow through on my part of the deal... But that's an entirely different story.

IC

*They continued onward towards the town, but before they could reach it a panicky blur shot past them followed by several of Obsidian's crew.*

Tano: *blinks* Was that-?

EG: I think so, AFTER THEM!

Willow: Wait, here come some more let's test the Weapon.

*She and Tano aim the Ultimate weapon at the unsuspecting pirates and pull the trigger just as they come down the path. Instantly there are two small blue piglets standing bewildered in front of them.*

Tano: *in a pleased tone* So that's what it does.

EG: Blue piglets? How in the name of all that is holy did the two of you come up with a weapon that turns people into PIGLETS? And why blue?

Willow: How should we know? We just put a whole lot of stuff together and slapped some inexpicable faerie magic on it. It sort of created itself after that.

EG: Oh dear, we had better get a move on. Obsidian's going to have a lot a bacon by the time we get through here.

OOC: A note about the weapon, we would have used the pinetree shaped air fresheners but Cap'n refused to have those on her ship. The only other thing we could think of was the piglets.

[Earniel]

*Eärniel watches her captain and the two crewmembers get ashore. "Good luck, may the Valar protect you." she says soflty and rather pointlessly. Then she turns to the rest of the crew. Captain Eruviel said she was in charge now, she would prove her captain's trust in her right. She wouldn't abuse her newly given command. She looks at the crew and says: *

Eärniel: Somebody get me a bar of chocolate, please.

Katt: Here you go, mate. *gives bar of chocolate*

Eärniel: Ah my favorite. Thank you, Katt. *devours bar* Alright people, you heard the captain's orders. I want this ship to be ready for a very, very fast escape if need be. Luthien, you have sharp eyes, you stay on the lookout until I get back, I've got to get the bushbaby up to shape. If you see anything out of the ordinary, I want you to tell me right away.

*The crew nods and get to work. Eärniel looks at the bushbaby in her arms that looks back very bushbaby-ish but also alert.*

Eärniel: You know what your job is, isn't it, little one? If the captains need to be warned I want you to be able to do it quickly. And I think I just saw what I needed in the armoury among Tano's junk...

*Eärniel goes to the armoury and returns a few minutes later with the bushbaby. But now it sits on a little wooden planck with four wheels on it. The bushbaby is wearing a little safety belt and small goggles.*

Luthien: You've put wheels on the bushbaby?

Eärniel: *shrugs* If it has to go and warn the captain, I want it be able to do so fast. This is the best I could think of short of a drivers licence.

*As the night grows darker still, The crew continues to watch out over the ship, awaiting the return of their captain and crewmates.*

OOC: Don't tell me THAT was all your plotting? You gave the vampire a overdue kiss?

[Elfmaster XK]

OOC: XK missed it! Missed all the ship drama with the Cap'n and the vampire, and really! 'Ere I am runnin' around like a lunatic and me Cap'n's kissin' a vampire. *le sigh*

IC

Alex was leaning from the rigging, gazing out at the town just ashore. The officer in charge was sitting on a barrel, her hand on her sword, as many of the other crew went about their business. He jumped down and went to speak with her.

Alex - So, er...
Eärniel - Second Mate, Navigator, Eärniel.
Alex - Thanks. I was just wondering, what am I here for?
Eärniel - We all wonder that from time to time, mate.
Alex - No, I mean here. On deck.
Eärniel - You want to go back in the brig?
Alex - No.
Eärniel - *raises eyebrow* So what are you saying?
Alex - *sigh* I am sure I wasn't just brought up on deck to watch your Captain randomly kiss some guy.
Eärniel - He's a vampire actually.
Alex - Ah. *Moments silence in which Alex looks a bit nauseous before he shakes his head and presses on* It's not important. Basically what I'm saying is; do I need to be here?
Eärniel - I'm not letting you go anywhere. Captain ordered you here, so you stay here.
Alex - But I don't follow her orders, do I?
Eärniel - *points sword at him* Sit down and shut up. We need as many hands as we can get to sail this ship out of here quicker than the other pirates can catch up with us. Their ship is a lot bigger than ours; The Nal is just a brigantine. The Emerald could sink our ship. The only advantage we have is speed. You follow the Captain's orders whilst you're aboard her ship.
Alex - Alright, calm down. I only wanted to go ashore.
Luthien - *comes up on deck* Didn't we all. *looks glumly at the lights in the distance*
Eärniel - Ah well, maybe next Port we reach. *takes another bite of chocolate*

Meanwhile, at the Port of Tortuga, XK is still trying desperately to evade Obsidian's crew. She's managed a pretty good job so far, and has also managed to steal a fair few tankards of ale and rum. And so the world seems a little less stable than it had before. She pauses to lean against a wall, feeling tired and out of breath. Glancing back she can see Ob men still giving chase and so she sighs and turns round, running smack into Obsidian's first mate. A momentary look of shock crosses her face before she turns to run away again, seeing his crew pointing their swords at her. Slowly she turns back to Sticks.

Sticks - *pointing pistol at her* Come on Karris, the game's up.
XK - I won't come with ye.
Sticks - *clicks back the trigger* Aye, ye will.
XK - I'd rather die. *crosses her arms*
Sticks - *puts pistol down* Would ye now. Well maybe we can help ye with that.

An Ob man approaches and as he gets near her she grabs his sword arm and smacks him in the face with it, kicking his companion and running towards a bar door. Sticks sighs, mutters "Enough of this," and takes out a throwing knife, aiming quickly and sharply throwing it. Hearing him, XK turns but not quickly enough to evade the knife and it embeds itself in her leg. She stumbles and grabs a barrel to steady herself. Glaring she swears at Sticks and pulls the knife from the wound with a grimace.

XK - How very kind, you've given me a weapon. *holds up sword* Now I have two. Very cowardly to stab me when I wasn't lookin, I say.
Sticks - Aww, now don't be bitter mate...
XK - Fight me then! Come on!
Sticks - I'd kill ye where ye...
XK - Ha! I know you won't, because *he* wants me alive! *leans smugly on the doorframe* You can't hurt me.
Sticks - *Grins and takes a step forward* Maybe...

...but XK never found out what was maybe, as someone had crept up behind her and smashed a bottle over her head. She collapsed, dropping both knives, at Sticks' feet.

Sticks - Ah ha ha haa!!!
Crew - *laugh*
Sticks - Take 'er back to the Cap'n. *snatches drink off nearby peasant* And keep a closer watch this time! *follows the crew back to the bar where Obsidian awaits.*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: Earniel....OVERDUE?!!!!

ic:

The Captain and her two most adorable (hey, that's what they call themselves!) crewmembers ran quietly toward the town.
Just outside the town's borders, they met up with Flannery.

Flannery: *whispering* Captain. I found your twin. She's unconcious, and surrounded by a bunch of Obsidian's men.
EG: *curses reeeaally badly. Flannery looks almost offended. The two crewmembers snerk.* Okay. Well, girls, your time of glory hath come. Time to use the weapon!
Flannery: *looks at it.* Er...what does it do?
Tano: Turns things into pigs. Little blue piglets, actually.
Flannery: Er...okay...
EG: Okay, here's our plan. Flannery and I will use our stealth and distance weapons to pick people off, while you go in with the weapon and start turning people into piglets. Is that clear?
*goes on with the battle plans* Okay, are we good?
Tano: Yeah, sure, Cap'n!
Willow: Aye, Cap'n!
Flannery: Yes...Captain. *smirks*
EG: Then let's go!!!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *whispers* See? There they are--they've got her.
Willow: I don't see--oh, them with that bundle.
Tano: Right. We'd better aim careful, though...don't want to turn the Mate into a piglet.
Willow: Well...
Tano: Think of the Cap'n.
Willow: Right. Let's go.
*Slowly, they sneak in toward Sticks and the others, and aim very carefully*
Tano: On three--ready? One, two, three--
*And suddenly a small blue piglet stood where a crewmember had been before*
Sticks: What the--?

ooc: Willow, you may continue if you wish....I have to run. Gotta performance, ya know.

[The last sane person]

*meanwhile, calmly sipping ale and watching this whole spectacle witrh the first mate escape and recapture, from her spot on a bar stool, Roya laughs and walks out of the bar and sleathily sneaks up behind the cap'n as she was talking battle tactics*

Roya: *nods* those sound like rather firm plans, cap'n.

EG: Ahhh!!! *sees its Roya* damn you! dont do that!! *catches her breath* jeez! where were you?! I was wanting your report!


Roya: Sorry. i got, eh, side tracked if you will.

EG: well, i wont! now do you know where the bulk of the crew are and more importantly, where my sister is?

Roya: aye. She was just now bashed over the head and taken back to obsidian. I'll show you the way if you want.

[Willow Oran]

Sadly, Sticks didn't get a chance to say anything more than "Oink" as he was the next to fall prey to the Ultimate Weapon as wielded by the two most adorable crewmembers. His companions wisely ran when they saw this. But they didn't run fast enough, soon our first mate was free once more and the population of blue piglets had increased by several.

Willow: Sooo... what do we do now?

Tano: Erm, I think we wait for Cap'n, or we wake Exk up and go look for Cap'n either one should do.

OOC: Your turn Tano, or Exk, whichever one of you wants to continue...

[Elfmaster XK]

Just as Tano and Willow turn, intending to find the cap'n, she, Flannery and Roya run up behind them.

Tano - Cap'n! The Mate...
EG - Yes I can see that, good work guys.
Tano & Willow - *grin*
EG - *bends down* Xenoia? *shakes her* WAKE UP! We have to go. *continues to gently try and wake her sister*
Willow - *glancing around and pointing out enemies approcahing to Tano, who is continuing to turn people into Piglets, she spots a bottle. Sniffing it she deduces it is rum* Cap'n, try this.
EG - Thanks *waves bottle of rum around in front of XK*
Willow - *takes bottle back* No, I meant like this *turns it upside down over XK's head. For a moment she doesn't move, but then she jumps up with a shout.*
XK - Arrgh! *sways* Oooh. Ow.
EG - Xen? You okay?
XK - *blurry eyed* Captain? Who're all these peolpe? Where am I?
EG - This is the crew, mate. And you're in Tortuga.
XK - *look of dawning* Tortuga? *attempts getting up* Ow, me leg. No it's fine I don't need a hand. We have to get out of here.
Willow - No complaints there.
Flannery - Wait, where's Roya gone?

They all turn around to see Roya walk around the corner. She turns, sees them and then starts running towards them.

Roya - Obsidian's men! They're coming! *she points frantically around the corner.* Lot's of them! Run.

Roya speeds past the crew, who all begin to move hurriedly towards the dock, firing their weapons blindly behind them.

XK - Wait! I need the key to these things!
Tano - Sorry mate, no time.
XK - I don't want to be stuck in manacles for ever!
Flannery - We'll get them off later now come on!

They all run down the hill, XK complaining all the time about the irons and the bleeding wound, and Tano and Willow occasionally giggling as an enemy turned into a particularly large or weird shaped blue piglet.

EG - *mutters as she throws her last throwing star* I sure hope Eärniel and the crew are ready...

[Earniel]

Alex: Er, Eärniel? Navigator, ma'm?
Eärniel: Now what? I thought I had made myself clear. I said, nobody's to go ashore now. Captain's orders. They'll be back any minute now.
Alex:Yes, you've said that. But somebody is already ashore. That is, I think somebody's coming.
Eärniel *suddenly alert* Is it any of our crew returning? Roya or the captain's team?
Alex: No one of them, I'm certain of it.

*Eärniel goes to the railing and looks over. And sure enough, on shore she vaguely distinguishes dark moving shapes in the night. All men, judging by their figures, so definately none of the Nal's crew. And there seems to be are coming more and more of them.*

Eärniel: *curses* That's bad. They're not just passing by, they're actually checking us out. Not a good sign. It was obvious they were going to miss that archer sooner or later; I should have thought about that before.

Alex: Too late now, I fear.

Eärniel: Aye. Tell the other crewmembers that we've got company. Do it inconspicuously. I don't want them to know that we know that they know that we know where they are and that we're here as well.

Alex:*confused* Eh?

Eärniel: They haven't done anything yet but it's bound to happen. Tell the crew to be prepared for possible immediate departure, tell them to be armed and tell them to be aware of arrows. I'm sending the bushbaby for the captain. I think she'll be on her way back already by now but she and the others won't be able to see those men before it's too late unles I warn them.

*Alex goes off and informs the crew in hushed tones about the men on the shore. Eärniel stays at the railing, readying the bushbaby for take-off. The figures ashore continue to move around in the dark. Suddenly a few sparks light up but are shielded immediatly as if those on shore don't want the crew on the ship to spot the fires. But as soon as Eärniel catches sight of somebody carrying arrows, she becomes really worried.*

Eärniel: *mutters to herself* Arrows? And fire? Not a good combination. And we're sitting ducks here. Oh bugger, the captain's going to keelhaul me if anything happens to the Nal. That's it, the busbaby goes; I just have to find a way to get it past the men ashore... Hang on, I've got it!

*Eärniel ties a message around the bushbaby and gives it a parachute. She then takes it to Tano's on deck catapult. She puts the bushbaby in the catapult and aims it at the town.*

Eärniel: Lift-off! *pulls the lever*

*The bushbaby sails through the air and a few seconds later, a little white parachute is decending above the town of Tortuga.*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

They were now surrounded by meebling, squeaking piglets. The Mate was having trouble with bloodloss and getting dizzy, and the Captian handed Tano her arrows and bow and was now carrying Xenoia on her back. They skirted around Obsidian's crew, trying not to be seen.

EG: keep close...use the weapon on them when they aren't looking...squash the piglets just in case they turn back...yes, i said squash the piglets! that's an order! or hit them over the head. incapacitate them. let's get to the ship...


Just then, they heard cannon fire.

EG: bloody hells... *looks horrified*

And a small bushbaby with a white parachute landed on her head.

[The last sane person]

*Roya too heard the cannon fire and thought it wise to leave the scene. Doing so she slipped around to the cove in which she landed earlier and set off toward the ship*

Ear: *hears Roya's boat* Who goes there! *points weapon at shadow-y Roya*

Roya: Calm down mate! its me!

Ear: where is the cap'n and crew?

Roya: Not far off. They got the bushbaby ya sent out no problem. *Throws line to Ear* Help me up!


*once she was onboard she took out her spyglass and started scouting the coast for signs of the other crew*

[zavron]

Zavron watched as the crew of the ship walked off with a quizical look on his face. He pondered what they had meant when they had said 'They would come back for him later'? They were overtrusting, why would they let a strange sailor become a part of their crew just like that! He looked up and gave a shrill bird call. A falcon flew down and landed on his shoulder.

zav: Follow them and see what they're up to.

The bird call a small whistle and seemed to nod it's head, then with a flutter it flew off (Also it left a small pressie on his shoulder).

Zav: Bleeding bird s**t! [Gets up grumbling.]

[Indril Anarion]

Luthien was in the kitchen when she heard of the news. She grabbed plenty of knives and sharp sparkly utencils and placed them in the various pockets she had sewed into her clothing for harboring more stolen goods.

She ran up on deck and saw the crowd of men gathering around their ship.

Luthien: Uh, Earniel, I can sneak down there and grab some arrows. It's my specialty ya know.

[Willow Oran]

The Cap'n and company burst out of the trees just in time to see one of the men aim a flaming arrow at the Nal

Willow: Hey! That's our ship they're shooting at! They can't do that.

So saying she lifts the Ultimate Weapon and the archer is suddenly a piglet he is not the last to meet that fate and soon the crew members on the ground are wading in piglets once more.

EG: *wading through piglets to get to the Nal* What I want to know is, why piglets? I admit that contraption has been extremely helpful but it makes no sense, why on earth would it turn things into piglets why not rocks?

Tano: Rocks are boring. Hey! Careful with that thing Willow, you don't want to turn the ship into a piglet!

Exk: *very dizzy* Huh? The ships a pig now? How did that happen?

EG: No the ship is not a pig. And it had better stay not a pig.

Willow&Tano: Yes Cap'n.

OOC: For a second or two I thought about accidentally turning the ship into a piglet... And then I remembered that Liz would probably kill me if I did...