My 1st RPG in a year!

[LutraMage]

Gandalf: Right, we've off to see the evil Lord of the Rings at his pad in the Black Mountains - Mordor I believe. Better bring plenty of spiky and sharp things cos the Orcs of Mordor are not known for their warmth nor for their intention to impart goodwill on all men (or hobbits or elves or dwarfs or ents or other sentient beings etc etc)!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Adrian: But first we have to get out of this box.

Set: Oh, that's easy. Here.

*And they were outside the Black Gate.*

Gandalf: All right, how did you do that?

Set: You dreamed it. Dream it up, and the demon will comply.

[elixir]

Tshik: OK, let's go in!

Others: Who on Middle-Earth are you and where did you come from?

Tshik: Didn't one of you just dream about a crazy little green guy with large pink friendly eyes?

Others: Ummm... No.

Tshik: Oh well. Let's go in anyway.

Others: But who are you and where did you come from?

Tshik: I'm a crazy little green guy with large pink friendly eyes. But you can call me Tshik. Let's go in now. Me wanna go in!

[Adrian Baggins]

I'M A SHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Eowyn, Lady of Rohan]

Eowyn: Let's bring some long pointy sticks. You, know, um, whast are they called?
Adrian: Swords?
Eowyn: Oh yeah
*THey start towards the black gate*
*They have only gone 2 feet*
Tshik: Wait! *everyone stops* We need rocks.
Adrian: Rocks? CRAZY PERSON!!! WE ALL KNOW WE CAN'T KILL ORCS WITH ROCKS!!!!!
Eowyn: They really aren't known for their hospitality.

[LutraMage]

Gandalf: Right, so that's rocks, sharp spiky things, swords and definitely no Party Invitations - Orcs can't read you know and they make very bad Party guests! Perhaps we should also take some firewater (whisky) to befundle them. Then we could pelt them with the stones and follow it up with the drink and so they would have - wait for it - whisky on the rocks! (Groan!)

[elixir]

*They get some rocks, sharp spiky things, swords and some whisky*

Tshik: Yay, let’s go!

*Everybody goes up to the Black Gate*

Tshik: Wait! Maybe we should knock first?

Eowyn: Didn’t I tell you? Orcs have no sense of hospitality.

Adrian: How do we get in then, if we don’t knock? We could, of course, climb over it.

Set: Hem…

Gandalf: Oh, right. Dream, you fools!

Eowyn: Oh, I don’t know whether it’s so good to be on the other side of this gate, there are orcs and all…

Adrian: Yes, maybe we should dream that we have killed that Big Bad Guy already, and all of the orcs, too.

Gandalf: No, you fools! We need to fight the orcs and have a lot of adventures and almost die many times, and maybe actually die and then come back to life and be more powerful and cleaner.

Tshik: Why?

Gandalf: Why? WHY? You ask me why? Well, it’s because… hmmm… umm… eee… oh, it’s because we need to make an interesting RPG, yes, that’s why!

Others: Oh, that’s why.

Eowyn: Let’s go then. Where’s my sharp shining pointy stick?

Adrian: Umm… In your hand?

Eowyn: Oh yes. Thanks.

*They all try to look very dangerous and strong and wise and brave and beautiful, of course, as they dream about being on the other side… of the gate*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Adrian, I do appologize if it was me that called you male. However, I still don't understand to what you are reffering.

Adrian: Ah...

Set: Oooo.....

Devak: Lots of orcsies....

Tshik: WAHOO!

*And the six went racing into battle, slashing and decapitating, and generally making a mess.*

Set: I just realized I didn't get any whiskey.

*Soon the field was black with orc blood, and yet there were still more orcs.*

Set: Excuse me, can we stop for a minute?

*No. Don't make me hurt you.*

Set: Oh all right. *Slash! Hack!*

*Very good.*

[Sanity's Demise]

OOC: Random things happening for no appearent reasons?! I join!

Character: Roya
Race: Thingus
Appearence: human only not.
Gender: no one gets close enough to tell.
weapons: anything at hand, and occasionally her fists
````````````````````````````````````````````````
*quite suddenly another randomness happened*

*Poik! Poof! Roya appears!*

Roya: Eh? *is standing in the middle of the Glorious Mess* Oh....any one got a mop?

Gandalf: Who the bugger are you?!

Roya: *notices the people* You guys made this mess then?

Set: Who are you?

Roya: The Essence of Drunk.

Others: ?

Set: *moment of reflection* Hey! I know you only not really!

*they shake hands*

Roya: And I know you, only under different circumstances!

Eowyn: umm...*already not the brightest bulb in the pack decides to throw a rock at Roya's head*

*Thok!*

Roya: Oh...Umm...Ow...Right, yeah....?

Devak: Are you evil?

Roya: Yes. No. Depends.

Aragorn: *comes out of the shadows with his pipe* Describe thy self knave! *bradishes the Broken Pointy*

Roya: Neh. I am Roya! The only Thingus left alive! I think.

Tshik: You think?

Roya: Well, yes of course I think. We all do. Even blondie over there. *throws stone at her*

*Thwak!*

Eowyn: Yipe!

Roya: Yeah. Well, aside from being the Possible Last Thingus, I am also the Essence of Drunk and the Weilder of the Invisible Booze Bottle as well as I have only half a working lung.

Blue&Amea: Yay! *does a weird dance*

*Right! Back to making the mess you lot!*

Gandalf: Ahem! Places every body! Places!

Set: Alright! Orcs, come rushing at us from that hill over there and start to sceam. Just like the script says!

Orc: Aw, but I was just starting my carmel frappy....

Gandalf: Get moving! Yeesh! Extras these days...

Orc: *to another orc* I think we need a Union.

Director: Take 3 of 'orcs charging to their deaths'! And action!

Orcs: *grumble*

**** you PJ!

*big battle noises Bing Bang Bush!

Roya: *chops orcs with whatever* Hiya! Wazzah! Nya! Buzzaaw!

Others: *pretty much the same*

*suddenly Roya stops and sits down on a rock*

Roya: carp!*cough**cough**cough*cough* *pause* *cough**cough*cough**cough* *pause* *cough**cough**cough**COUGH*

Others: what the hells is the matter now?

Roya: I told you I only had half a working lung. Carry on! *cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough** cough**cough*

*all that coughing gave Roya a light headed feeling.*

Roya: Whoo! *Thunk! falls over.* This Thingus could use a nap! *zzzzzz*

Set: Oh well, onwards!

Tshik: But what about that? *points toward Roya*

Gandalf: I am sure it will find us sooner or later.

*they forge onwards*

OOC: YAY! A whole post dedicated to nothing! Hurrah!

[elixir]

*They all forge onwards and kill a lot of orcs and then kill more orcs and more orcs and more orcs and more orcs*

Adrian: Could we take a break, please?

Everybody else: YES!

An especially ugly orc: Oh, good. I do need to rest a little.

Eowyn: That doesn't seem very interesting to me. Just tiring.

Devak: Yes, we need something different, something dangerous, something exciting. Oh, I know! How about orcs imprisoning us?!

Gandalf: All of us? I am a powerful wizard and no orcs can take me alive!

Tshik: Well, the we cou...

Gandalf: Nor dead!

Tshik: Oh...

Adrian: How about they just take one of us and then others could go and save that person?

Gandalf: Well I am not going to be that person. How about you, Adrian?

Adrian: Well, I don't think I would be the best choice. I am an hobbit, and well it isn't very original if we let the orcs take an hobbit with them.

Gandalf: Well, who's then? I'm out, so is Adrian, it won't be Set for we need him too much here, well I guess it has to be Devak or Eowyn.

Tshik: I can go! I can go! Let me go!

Gandalf: I don't think the orcs would like to take you.

Devak: Psst! Gandalf! Let's send this crazy guy! We don't have to save him, and this way we could get rid of him!

Devak: Let Eowyn go. She was ranting about orcs having no good manners. She could teach them some.

Eowyn: Hey! I am a warrior girl! I do not intend to sit and relax when you try to fight me free! Why can't she go?

Gandalf: Ladies, ladies. No fighting. Yet. Let's vote. Everyone who wants Eowyn go, raise their hand. OK. Now, everyone who wants Devak go, raise their hand. OK. Well, it seems, that Eowyn got one more vote.

Eowyn: Why did you let them vote?

Gandalf: Well, they have to imprison you, so it concerns them, too. And beside, aren't you glad that the orcs would rather spend some time with you than with Devak. No offence, darling.

Eowyn: Fine! If you don't want me to be with you, then I don't want to be with you either. Let's go, boys.

*Eowyn leaves with the orcs*

Adrian: Umm... What now?

Gandalf: Now we go and save her, of course.

Others: Right. Let's go.

[Sanity's Demise]

Roya: *wakes up suddenly* I am the queeen of france!

Orc: *snuffle*

Roya: Have a tissue.

Orc: tank you!

Roya: what happened?

Orc: got sick ob all de bighting.

Roya: cheers! *goes and follows tracks of the Other People*

Amea&blue: Yay! *continues weird dance*

[elixir]

*Roya soon finds the others who are doing nothing*

Galdalf: Well, technically, you can't say that we are doing nothing. We must be doing something. I, for example, are sitting, so I am doing something, you see...

*Fine. The others are all doing something. Galdalf is sitting and humming, Devak is looking at the sky, Adrian is thinking about food...*

Adrian: Hey! I was not thinking about food!

*You are now. And others seem to be resting*

Roya: Hi! me again! What's up? Where are all the orcs?

Tshik: They went away. Jippii-jee!!!

Roya: So, what should we do now?

Gandalf: I am thinking about it.

Adrian: Didn't we have to go and save Eowyn from the orcs?

Gandalf: Did we?

Adrian: Well, you said that we should go and save her.

Gandalf: Really? I don't remember saying that. Maybe I did. Oh, well.

Tshik: So let's go then!

Devak: Go where?

Tshik: To save Eowyn.

Devak: Do we have to?

Gandalf: I suppose we should. But I guess we need a plan first. So let me think a little. Enjoy the weather.

*Gandalf starts humming again and everyone else is trying to enjoy the weather. At the same time Eowyn is being tortured by the orcs*

Eowyn: What? There is no chocolate ice-cream in Mordor? All you have is this stupid vanilla one? This is a torture! I demand you to go and bring me some chocolate ice-cream. I WANT CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM! Maybe they have some of this in Gondor?

*So the orcs are going to Gondor to borrow some chocolate ice-cream for Eowyn.*

Sauron: And get me some flour!

*So the orcs are going to Gondor to borrow some chocolate ice-cream for Eowyn and some flour for Sauron.*

[Sanity's Demise]

*and so, Roya being in cahoots with the narrator of Dooooooom, she appears with a pot of bleach right infront of sauron*

Sauron: Well! If it isnt my old wife! (remember "frodo turned evil" thread, yeah..)

Roya: Hi! *pause* I've got legs.

Sauron: Do you like bread? I've got a french loaf! *biffs her with it*

Roya: *grows to be valar tall* I've got the power of clorox 2! *dumps it on Sauron's head, now he is Sauron the recently bleached* Love you! *dashes back to where the others are*

*back with the Other People*

Adrian: *sits and thinks about frodo*

Gandalf: Yeahhhhh....*smokes his mini bong....i mean....pipe*

Tshik: *bounces up and down* fish fish fissshhhhh

Roya: *Still valar tall* ruum....

Devak: yer tall.

*back at the headquarters of Sauron the Recently Bleached*

Sauron: Hey...White isnt all that bad! Alright everyone! New uniforms and a new paint job! Galadriel & Gandalf aint the only white ones on the set!

[Eowyn, Lady of Rohan]

Does that mean you...tLSP? or am I stupid. I'm prob'ly wrong and stupid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arandir: Why don't we all just tell dumb blonde jokes until Sauron comes to his senses, grabs his pointy stick and his round thinga ma bobber and fights us with our pointy sticks and no roung thinga ma bobbers?
Eowyn: Sure.
Set: Um, guys, this isn't in the script.
Other guy: And y are you agreeing to tell dumb blonde jokes anyway Eowyn, you are one.
Eowyn: one whsat?
Other guy: A dumb blonde.
*Starts beating other guy up*
Tshik: Scratch the script.
Sauron: And scratch the dumb blonde jokes because they're stupid.
Gandalf: Yes, and let's all remember I am Gandalf the mostly white (in other words *sigh* I am still grey.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There, btw, if I am confusing u it's because of this: When I wrote my profile i for got to say:
Hobbie: Confusing people even with out her location.

[Sanity's Demise]

U r just a bit addled. Lil 9 year old. *cheeky grin*

Roya: *still tall* I think i will change my name.... I am *dramtic pause* Jack The Really Tall!

Gandalf: Okay jack.

Jack: thank you. I like the veiw from up here, you should try it little people. *walks around and nearly steps on the hobbit* Oops.

Hobbit: Watch it! (what's yer name hobbit dude?)

[LutraMage]

OOC

Originally posted by Sanity's Demise
Roya: *still tall* I think i will change my name.... I am *dramtic pause* Jack The Really Tall!

Wouldn't Jack the Lad (or Ladess) be more appropriate?

BIC

Gandalf "Let's get a grip on this RPG - where are we going, why are we going there and when are we going to get there? Well, when your 3,000 years old you will forget why you were going where you were going! "

[Sanity's Demise]

Jack: well, okay, another name change...*drumroll* I am Jack, The Tall Lad-y

Gandalf: *cranes neck* Good good. Now, on to save the little Rohanian brat!

*and off they go!*

[gandalffan2525]

suddenly: every one and every thing in arda(exept the rocks) is put into suspended animation, but, since time is reletive, nothing really changed and no one realized that any thing happened (it happens at least twice a "year", honestly! )

rock1: (rocks are immune to suspended animation) well here we go again

Rock2: this is so boring

~~~~~~~~~~end suspended animation~~~~~~~

rock1: thats better

rock2: this is so boring

[LutraMage]

Gandalf: "Did anyone else feel a strange feeling just then?"

All: "No." "Can't say that I did." "Nope." "What sort of feeling?" "Nah, you're just getting old Gandalf!"

Gandalf: "Oh well, just a strange tingle down my spine, but I guess if none of you youngsters felt anything I must have imagined it." Kicks rock in mild irratation

Rock 1 [Humans can't hear rock speach] "Ouch!"

Rock 2 "Now that's not quite so boring as normal!"

[Sanity's Demise]

Jack: *shiver* i think i just had an out of thread experience!

All: que?

Jack: Oh, never mind i said anything.

Gandalf: and they say i have alzhiemers....yeesh.

Rock: *snore*

Jack: what a pretty rock! *scoops it up and puts it into his pocket*

Rock: yay!