Favourite teacher quotes. - Page 2

Starr Polish · 03-09-2002, 10:31 PM

Chemistry teacher -
-Yeah Sam, because you drive a Buick full of CORN! (what's funny is the Chem's teacher is Mr. Sams, and the student is Samo)

Band teacher -
I got the orange (we got the juice) I go the orange (we got the juice)
1 and 2 and 3 and (voice cracks)

American Lit Teacher-
While talking about Huck Finn, our teacher had a bit of a Freudian slip and switched the letters around..yeah. We were laughing the entire hour.

Choir Teacher
-Now men, this is when you gotta do what? Sing BALLS TO THE WALLS! That applies to you too, ladies, but not literally.

Biology teacher: When dogs are purebred they tend to have problems because of inbreeding
Student: My friend has two male pugs that are homosexual.
Bio teacher: See, I told you there'd be problems (don't flame me for that, I didn't say it)

Geometry teacher- Now, it all despensds (not a typo) on the variable.

Alethes · 03-17-2002, 10:56 PM

My history teacher (talking about Indians on reservations):

80% of the Indians didn't own their own homes [I think that's what he said; something to that effect]. Only a third of them did.

jerseydevil · 03-17-2002, 11:39 PM

This is about my math teacher in college - both for Alegebra and Finite Math. I think he was in his 70's but he had tenure, so they couldn't really do anything I guess..
He was a chain smoker - but of course there is no smoking in the classrooms - so he'd hold chalk in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. He'd start trying to write with the cigarette or he'd put the chalk in his mouth.

He would never teach how to do the math problems - he'd just stand at the chalk board and write the problems on the board directly from the examples in the book. Then he'd make a mistake somewhere along the line and he'd realise he didn't solve it right. The one time - one of the girls in my class went up there and pointed it out and madly said - "That's where the problem is" and stormed back to her seat after he had stared at it for 5 minutes.

In Algebra class he'd pass around a paper to take attendence. After only a couple of weeks in his class - people started having others sign their name. The one class there were supposedly only 3 students in the class but 20 names on the paper.

Kyote Fields · 03-19-2002, 04:23 PM

American History teacher:

Why did Lincoln make it as far as he did? Because Lincoln was a master debater!!

English 101:
The story goes that a king asked his wise men how it would be best to rule his land - so that the people love him or so that the people fear him. His wise men replied that love would conquer over all.
I, however, rule by fear and you will all fear me by the end of the week.

emplynx · 03-19-2002, 05:05 PM

One of my friends considers himself a master debater...

Kyote Fields · 03-19-2002, 05:58 PM

Do you get the joke? Master(de)bater? If your friend is a master debater I would expect you not to know about it, unless your friend is proud of his position in which case you need new friends

emplynx · 03-19-2002, 07:12 PM

I know the joke. I think my friends can do whatever they want in their free time, just not while I am around.

Wayfarer · 03-19-2002, 07:27 PM

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."

Who said that, Mirille?

A few gems:

geography teacher-"Brazil is actually larger than hte united states"

"I think we just hit a torso." Biology teacher after running down a pedestrian.

"The average person my age has a vocabulary of 40000 words. The average person your age has a vocabulary of 2000 words. "
"You cannot possibly know what the word 'adaquate' means"

Wayfarer · 03-19-2002, 07:28 PM

Oh, yes. The all time best teacher quote:

"Shannon, you are still my all time favorite weird person."

mirrille · 03-19-2002, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Wayfarer
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
Who said that, Mirille?

My first year biology prof did. It's so true too!

This is the same biology prof who gave us, "Sushi? I'm a parasitologist. I LOVE sushi!"

**crickhollow** · 03-19-2002, 09:25 PM

My Education Prof:

Some of you have expressed apprehension about going to Dr. _____ with problems. I promise you, she is not a frightening as you think. It reminds me of when I was driving last week, and there was this porcupine that was hit by a car, and you know how porcupines have quills on the outside? Well they're all soft and squishy on the inside. *pauses* I don't know why you are all laughing, I'm just talking about porcupines.

Eruviel Greenleaf · 03-21-2002, 04:09 AM

A writing teacher (who was subbing for our normal creative writing teacher) today said, "Yes, the snow* will go away eventually, and yes, we are all going to die."

*note: it was snowing when he said this. It does not snow very often in Seattle.

Arathorn · 03-21-2002, 04:13 AM

My Theoretical Mechanics Professor:
"The laws of Man tell you 'Thou shalt not' while the laws of nature tell you 'Thou cannot'.

Arathorn · 03-21-2002, 04:19 AM

My high school geometry teacher after a moderately close lightning strike: "Where're my dengthshurs?" (please note that she was hiding behind the teacher's desk during this time)

Laurelyn · 03-21-2002, 05:23 PM

My science teacher, after the TV miraculously flickered on and then off again: "My home world is trying to contact me!"

emplynx · 03-22-2002, 02:00 PM

One day in class we were talking abou that lady who died at 115 years old. I mentioned that I wouldn't want to live that long. My perverted science teacher said, not meaning what it sounded like, "It would be ok if you were still productive." Some one giggled. He then said, still not meaning what it sounded like, "I mean, it would be ok if you could do it without help."

GandalfTheWhite · 03-22-2002, 03:15 PM

teacher: do you know why your out in the hall?

me: no

teacher: because your attitude sucks!

Laurenis · 03-22-2002, 03:41 PM

- "Ralph are you eating the paste?"
- "Ro RMiss Roover..."

Radagast The Brown · 03-22-2002, 05:10 PM

"The break is for the teachers-not to the students!" - my Math teacher. (I think widespeard quote).

Elfmaster XK · 03-22-2002, 05:21 PM

Food tech teacher when i was making cheese on toast and she wanted to lock the door.

Tech: You don't have time for that!
Me: Yes i do, it will only take a minute the toast is nearly done.
Tech: Why didn't you put the cheese on first?

God she's stupid!

03-09-2002, 10:31 PM	#21
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	Chemistry teacher - -Yeah Sam, because you drive a Buick full of CORN! (what's funny is the Chem's teacher is Mr. Sams, and the student is Samo) Band teacher - I got the orange (we got the juice) I go the orange (we got the juice) 1 and 2 and 3 and (voice cracks) American Lit Teacher- While talking about Huck Finn, our teacher had a bit of a Freudian slip and switched the letters around..yeah. We were laughing the entire hour. Choir Teacher -Now men, this is when you gotta do what? Sing BALLS TO THE WALLS! That applies to you too, ladies, but not literally. Biology teacher: When dogs are purebred they tend to have problems because of inbreeding Student: My friend has two male pugs that are homosexual. Bio teacher: See, I told you there'd be problems (don't flame me for that, I didn't say it) Geometry teacher- Now, it all despensds (not a typo) on the variable. __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell Last edited by Starr Polish : 03-09-2002 at 10:33 PM.

03-17-2002, 10:56 PM	#22
Alethes Enting Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: urban Oklahoma Posts: 73	My history teacher (talking about Indians on reservations): 80% of the Indians didn't own their own homes [I think that's what he said; something to that effect]. Only a third of them did. __________________ He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend. -Proverbs 22:11

03-17-2002, 11:39 PM	#23
jerseydevil I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Plainsboro, NJ Posts: 9,431	This is about my math teacher in college - both for Alegebra and Finite Math. I think he was in his 70's but he had tenure, so they couldn't really do anything I guess.. He was a chain smoker - but of course there is no smoking in the classrooms - so he'd hold chalk in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. He'd start trying to write with the cigarette or he'd put the chalk in his mouth. He would never teach how to do the math problems - he'd just stand at the chalk board and write the problems on the board directly from the examples in the book. Then he'd make a mistake somewhere along the line and he'd realise he didn't solve it right. The one time - one of the girls in my class went up there and pointed it out and madly said - "That's where the problem is" and stormed back to her seat after he had stared at it for 5 minutes. In Algebra class he'd pass around a paper to take attendence. After only a couple of weeks in his class - people started having others sign their name. The one class there were supposedly only 3 students in the class but 20 names on the paper. __________________ Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

03-19-2002, 04:23 PM	#24
Kyote Fields Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: California Posts: 218	American History teacher: Why did Lincoln make it as far as he did? Because Lincoln was a master debater!! English 101: The story goes that a king asked his wise men how it would be best to rule his land - so that the people love him or so that the people fear him. His wise men replied that love would conquer over all. I, however, rule by fear and you will all fear me by the end of the week. __________________ No longer posting. If you'd like to write to me I can be reached at kyote_fields@hotmail.com. It was nice knowing all of you.

03-19-2002, 05:58 PM	#26
Kyote Fields Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: California Posts: 218	Do you get the joke? Master(de)bater? If your friend is a master debater I would expect you not to know about it, unless your friend is proud of his position in which case you need new friends __________________ No longer posting. If you'd like to write to me I can be reached at kyote_fields@hotmail.com. It was nice knowing all of you.

03-19-2002, 05:05 PM	#25
emplynx Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,214	One of my friends considers himself a master debater...

03-19-2002, 07:12 PM	#27
emplynx Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,214	I know the joke. I think my friends can do whatever they want in their free time, just not while I am around.

03-19-2002, 07:27 PM	#28
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	"Life is a sexually transmitted disease." Who said that, Mirille? A few gems: geography teacher-"Brazil is actually larger than hte united states" "I think we just hit a torso." Biology teacher after running down a pedestrian. "The average person my age has a vocabulary of 40000 words. The average person your age has a vocabulary of 2000 words. " "You cannot possibly know what the word 'adaquate' means" __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned

03-19-2002, 07:28 PM	#29
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	Oh, yes. The all time best teacher quote: "Shannon, you are still my all time favorite weird person." __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned

03-19-2002, 09:25 PM	#31
crickhollow The Buckleberry Fairy/Captain Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Washington State again (I miss Texas). Posts: 1,345	My Education Prof: Some of you have expressed apprehension about going to Dr. _____ with problems. I promise you, she is not a frightening as you think. It reminds me of when I was driving last week, and there was this porcupine that was hit by a car, and you know how porcupines have quills on the outside? Well they're all soft and squishy on the inside. pauses I don't know why you are all laughing, I'm just talking about porcupines. __________________ A day will come at last when I Shall take the hidden paths that run West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

03-21-2002, 04:09 AM	#32
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	A writing teacher (who was subbing for our normal creative writing teacher) today said, "Yes, the snow* will go away eventually, and yes, we are all going to die." *note: it was snowing when he said this. It does not snow very often in Seattle. __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

03-21-2002, 04:13 AM	#33
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	My Theoretical Mechanics Professor: "The laws of Man tell you 'Thou shalt not' while the laws of nature tell you 'Thou cannot'. __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

03-21-2002, 04:19 AM	#34
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	My high school geometry teacher after a moderately close lightning strike: "Where're my dengthshurs?" (please note that she was hiding behind the teacher's desk during this time) __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

03-21-2002, 05:23 PM	#35
Laurelyn Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Valinor, right next to Telperion . . . what did you expect, Michigan? Posts: 1,315	My science teacher, after the TV miraculously flickered on and then off again: "My home world is trying to contact me!" __________________ The Third Age of Entmoot has begun. Angel of music, guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory! The country I eat and spend the day in is by no means the country I sleep and dream in. Define patriotism. Hold the boat, you spastic monkey! ~ Elenka

03-22-2002, 02:00 PM	#36
emplynx Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,214	One day in class we were talking abou that lady who died at 115 years old. I mentioned that I wouldn't want to live that long. My perverted science teacher said, not meaning what it sounded like, "It would be ok if you were still productive." Some one giggled. He then said, still not meaning what it sounded like, "I mean, it would be ok if you could do it without help."

03-22-2002, 03:15 PM	#37
GandalfTheWhite Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 297	mine teacher: do you know why your out in the hall? me: no teacher: because your attitude sucks! __________________ "Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council." -Gandalf The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow, if I can, Pursuing it with eager feet, Until it joins some larger way Where many paths and errands meet. And whither then? I cannot say. "He who breaks a thing to find out what it is, has left the path of wisdom." -Gandalf "A thing is about to happen which has not happened since the Elder Days: the Ents are going to wake up and find that they are strong." -Gandalf

03-22-2002, 03:41 PM	#38
Laurenis Enting Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: England/FL Posts: 85	- "Ralph are you eating the paste?" - "Ro RMiss Roover..." __________________ 'Therefore he willed that the hearts of Men should seek beyond the world and should find no rest therein; but they should have a virtue to shape their life, amid the powers and chances of the world, beyond the Music of the Ainur, which is as fate to all things else; and of their operation everything should be, in form and deed, completed, and the world fulfilled unto the last and smallest.'

03-22-2002, 05:10 PM	#39
Radagast The Brown Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Israel Posts: 6,975	"The break is for the teachers-not to the students!" - my Math teacher. (I think widespeard quote). __________________ Lalala... poof! AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

03-22-2002, 05:21 PM	#40
Elfmaster XK Possessive Villain Fancier Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: On my ship, riding the waves YARR! Posts: 2,008	Food tech teacher when i was making cheese on toast and she wanted to lock the door. Tech: You don't have time for that! Me: Yes i do, it will only take a minute the toast is nearly done. Tech: Why didn't you put the cheese on first? God she's stupid! __________________ My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies, Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly - my friends. XK

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