Favourite Simpson's Quotes - Page 2

Coney · 03-19-2003, 05:22 PM

Ralph Wiggum (ya gotta luv him, not that I'd want him for a kid).

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!

I bent my wookie.

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there

Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son."

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant

And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life

I found a moonrock in my nose!

That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!

glasses · 03-19-2003, 05:41 PM

Apu:

Ah! The searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.

Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!

Insidious Rex · 03-19-2003, 05:58 PM

http://www.ivotedforkodos.com/simpsons/apu.gif

*laugh* Apu is so my favorite character.

"Hey! hey! This is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off!"

"I have been shot eight times this year. As a result, I almost missed work."

"I take it from your yelling that you like my tofu dogs?"

"Nickel off on expired baby food."

"You can emerge now from my chips. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone."

Apu: "Please do not offer my God a peanut."
Homer: "No offence Apu, but when they were handing out religions you must have been out taking a whizz."
Apu: "Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again."

"I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service."
Homer: "You're...selling what, now?"
Apu: "I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment."
Homer: "You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." [slams the door]
Apu: "He's got me there."

cassiopeia · 03-19-2003, 11:45 PM

I love this thread!
Homer is the best:

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

Gotta love that last one.

Gwaimir Windgem · 03-20-2003, 12:12 AM

Comic Book Guy is my favorite.

Lisa: "Can I sit here?"
CBG (Wearing T-shirt that says, 'Dungeon Master': "Yes. But first you must answer me these questions three."
Lisa: "Never mind."

"But how can Aquaman marry a woman without gills? You're from two different worlds!" *missile comes zipping toward his head* "Oh, I've wasted my life."

"Stan Lee insulted me! But in Bizaar-o world, that means he likes me!"

"I am beginning to think that his mind is no longer in mint condition."

"Yes, yes. If only you had the power to leave my store...you almost had it there."

"Oh, please, I'm not insane. I just want to take you to my lair, and make you my bride."

ArwenEvenstar · 03-20-2003, 12:55 PM

CBG is my hero!!!

http://www.parrswood.manchester.sch....ncinghomer.gif

thats almost too much physical activitiy for him

The Lady of the Wood · 03-20-2003, 02:00 PM

homer-"butter your bacon!!!"
bart-"but my heart hurts"
homer-(low growl)"butter it"

Blackboar · 03-20-2003, 02:06 PM

Homer

'oh!
Lisa:A deer!
Marge: A female deer!

*sigh* What could beat the Simpsons?

glasses · 03-20-2003, 04:56 PM

Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Lou: I went to the McDonalds over in Shelbyville the other day.
Chief Wiggum: The Mc-what?
Lou: Yeah, I never heard of it either but they say they have over 2000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Hmm...Must've sprung up over night.
Lou: But you know, its the little differences.
Chief Wiggum: Example?
Lou: Well at a McDonalds you can get a Krusty Burger with cheese. But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Chief Wiggum: Get out! What do they call it?
Lou: A quarter pounder with cheese.
Chief Wiggum: Quarter pounder with cheese...well I can see the cheese but? Hey, do they have Krusty's Partially Gelatinated Gum-Based beverages?
Lou: Yeah, they call them 'shakes.'
Eddie: *Pfft* 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'.

Bart: Leonard Nimoy? What are you doing here?
Leonard Nimoy: Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near.
Bart: Uh-huh.
Hot Dog Vendor: Hey Spock, what do you want on your hot dog?
Leonard Nimoy: Surprise me

frodosgirlfriend · 03-20-2003, 05:20 PM

Homer:"Mmmm Buffalo tesicals (sp?)
Lisa:"no, Dad their apples
Homer: "APPLES!!?!! pleh pleh

"mmmm.... Hippoe"

Lisa: "Dad, no, we're trying to conserve energy"
Homer: "Lisa! If we start conserving, the environmentalists win!"

"Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a q-tip!!"

Bart- "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson."

Homer: *affected voice* My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal worker: Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
*cut to outside of post office*
Homer: Great plan, BART!

frodosgirlfriend · 03-20-2003, 05:29 PM

Found somemore, now all Homer Quotes. I love Homer

Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.

Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the american dream?

Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!

Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos

Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh...

Ooh, I love your magazine. Especially the 'Enrich Your Wordpower' section. I think it's really...really... really...good.

Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Kids, if he (Grandpa) starts acting weird, lead him down into the basement

Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills brain-cells! Now lets go back to that...building...thingy... where our beds and TV...is.

My baloney has a first name, its h-o-m-e-r, My baloney has a second name, its h-o-m-e-r...

You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn · 03-21-2003, 09:47 AM

i love the simpsons! i've seen like everyone..my favorite quote is....

dr. hibert: "im a little worried about you brother getting better lisa"
bart: (stands up and moons everyone with a nose and stethescope and eyes drawn on his butt) "im dr. tush and im a little behind woo!"
lisa: he'll be fine

glasses · 03-25-2003, 05:03 PM

Rev. Lovejoy: Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll.

FoolofaTook · 03-25-2003, 07:49 PM

My favourite would have to be:

Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.

Or

Hutz: I've argued in front of every judge in this state -- often as a lawyer.

gimli7410 · 03-25-2003, 11:29 PM

ralph is a classic

ralph:whats a battle
ralph:whats a diorama
ralph:my doctor said my nose wont bleed as much if i just keep my finger out of it

ArwenEvenstar · 03-29-2003, 10:28 AM

Baby-K · 03-31-2003, 05:43 AM

Homer: All right brain, you don't like me & I don't like you. But let's just get me through this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
Homer's brain: It's a deal!

Yet another Homer quote:

Oh Lisa, you & your stories - "Bart is a vampire." "Beer kills brain cells." Now let's go back to that....building....thingy, where our beds & TV....is

Lady Tinuveil · 03-31-2003, 05:49 AM

stay away from that wackie tobaccie!
Ha ha

ArwenEvenstar · 03-31-2003, 09:44 AM

Ralph:This tastes like Gramma

Cheif Wiggum: Your right it DOES taste like Gramma

YEAH 500 posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Linaewen · 04-02-2003, 07:16 AM

'But if we take the 10,000, we'll be millionaires!'
-Homer

03-19-2003, 05:22 PM	#21
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	Ralph Wiggum (ya gotta luv him, not that I'd want him for a kid). Me fail English? That's unpossible. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma! I bent my wookie. The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants." Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son." I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life I found a moonrock in my nose! That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things! __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

03-19-2003, 05:41 PM	#22
glasses Enting Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Would you like a philosophical answer? Posts: 82	Apu: Ah! The searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying. Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie! __________________ Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT? Our early attempts for a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call...Preparation H.

03-19-2003, 05:58 PM	#23
Insidious Rex Quasi Evil Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Maryland, US Posts: 4,634	http://www.ivotedforkodos.com/simpsons/apu.gif laugh Apu is so my favorite character. "Hey! hey! This is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off!" "I have been shot eight times this year. As a result, I almost missed work." "I take it from your yelling that you like my tofu dogs?" "Nickel off on expired baby food." "You can emerge now from my chips. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone." Apu: "Please do not offer my God a peanut." Homer: "No offence Apu, but when they were handing out religions you must have been out taking a whizz." Apu: "Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again." "I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service." Homer: "You're...selling what, now?" Apu: "I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment." Homer: "You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." [slams the door] Apu: "He's got me there." __________________ "People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

03-19-2003, 11:45 PM	#24
cassiopeia Viggoholic Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 1,749	I love this thread! Homer is the best: "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." "Trying is the first step towards failure." Gotta love that last one. __________________ Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

03-20-2003, 12:12 AM	#25
Gwaimir Windgem Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA Posts: 10,820	Comic Book Guy is my favorite. Lisa: "Can I sit here?" CBG (Wearing T-shirt that says, 'Dungeon Master': "Yes. But first you must answer me these questions three." Lisa: "Never mind." "But how can Aquaman marry a woman without gills? You're from two different worlds!" missile comes zipping toward his head "Oh, I've wasted my life." "Stan Lee insulted me! But in Bizaar-o world, that means he likes me!" "I am beginning to think that his mind is no longer in mint condition." "Yes, yes. If only you had the power to leave my store...you almost had it there." "Oh, please, I'm not insane. I just want to take you to my lair, and make you my bride." __________________ Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle

03-20-2003, 12:55 PM	#26
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	CBG is my hero!!! http://www.parrswood.manchester.sch....ncinghomer.gif thats almost too much physical activitiy for him __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination!

03-20-2003, 02:00 PM	#27
The Lady of the Wood Enting Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: the dark side of the moon Posts: 89	homer-"butter your bacon!!!" bart-"but my heart hurts" homer-(low growl)"butter it" __________________ You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves. - Michael Wilding Ah caught you smiling at me, That's the way it should be, Like a leaf is to a tree, so fine. Ah all the good times we had, I sang love songs so glad Always smiling, never sad, so fine. As we walk down the country lanes, I'll be singing a song, Hear me calling your name. Hear the wind within the trees, Telling Mother Nature 'bout you and me. "Yeah.And Grizzly Adams had a beard." 'Grizzly Adams did have a beard."

03-20-2003, 02:06 PM	#28
Blackboar Legolas's beloved sister and Queen of the Wood Elves of Mirkwood Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Under the hill at Bag-end, Hobbiton the Shire Or Rivendell,I can't remember!!!!!!!!!! Posts: 1,086	Homer'oh! Lisa:A deer! Marge: A female deer! sigh What could beat the Simpsons?

03-20-2003, 04:56 PM	#29
glasses Enting Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Would you like a philosophical answer? Posts: 82	Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Lou: I went to the McDonalds over in Shelbyville the other day. Chief Wiggum: The Mc-what? Lou: Yeah, I never heard of it either but they say they have over 2000 locations in this state alone. Eddie: Hmm...Must've sprung up over night. Lou: But you know, its the little differences. Chief Wiggum: Example? Lou: Well at a McDonalds you can get a Krusty Burger with cheese. But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese. Chief Wiggum: Get out! What do they call it? Lou: A quarter pounder with cheese. Chief Wiggum: Quarter pounder with cheese...well I can see the cheese but? Hey, do they have Krusty's Partially Gelatinated Gum-Based beverages? Lou: Yeah, they call them 'shakes.' Eddie: Pfft 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'. Bart: Leonard Nimoy? What are you doing here? Leonard Nimoy: Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near. Bart: Uh-huh. Hot Dog Vendor: Hey Spock, what do you want on your hot dog? Leonard Nimoy: Surprise me __________________ Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT? Our early attempts for a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call...Preparation H.

03-20-2003, 05:20 PM	#30
frodosgirlfriend Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: I live in la la land, you know, the place you go during math class Posts: 452	Homer:"Mmmm Buffalo tesicals (sp?) Lisa:"no, Dad their apples Homer: "APPLES!!?!! pleh pleh "mmmm.... Hippoe" Lisa: "Dad, no, we're trying to conserve energy" Homer: "Lisa! If we start conserving, the environmentalists win!" "Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a q-tip!!" Bart- "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson." Homer: affected voice My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Postal worker: Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name? cut to outside of post office Homer: Great plan, BART! __________________ LOOK A WEBSITE!!! LETS CLICK ON IT!!!!!! --------------------------------------------- AND FGF'S MOST GORGEOUS MAN ALIVE AT THE MOMENT'S AWARD GOES TO......... BRANDON BOYD (yes once again) !!!!! WOOOO!!! ---------------------------------------------- Hottness has no count for age.... thats why I'm merrying a forty year old who goes by the name of JOHNNY DEPP!!!! ----------------------------------------------- Fortune cookies tell all, so when i got the cookie telling me to date my love i became a stalker to Johnny Depp, and when i find him my excuse will be "the cookie made me do it" ------------------------------------------------ I'm not stupid, I'm special ------------------------------------------------ "But why is the rum gone?" "Captian, Catian Jack Sparrow" "pa-pa-pa parsnip, parla, --" "Just don't do anything... stupid" "WELL IT BLOODY IS NOW!" ~Captian Jack Sparrow ------------------------------------------------ Read my FP.net story!!!

03-20-2003, 05:29 PM	#31
frodosgirlfriend Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: I live in la la land, you know, the place you go during math class Posts: 452	Found somemore, now all Homer Quotes. I love Homer Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get. Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the american dream? Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat! Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh... Ooh, I love your magazine. Especially the 'Enrich Your Wordpower' section. I think it's really...really... really...good. Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Kids, if he (Grandpa) starts acting weird, lead him down into the basement Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills brain-cells! Now lets go back to that...building...thingy... where our beds and TV...is. My baloney has a first name, its h-o-m-e-r, My baloney has a second name, its h-o-m-e-r... You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? __________________ LOOK A WEBSITE!!! LETS CLICK ON IT!!!!!! --------------------------------------------- AND FGF'S MOST GORGEOUS MAN ALIVE AT THE MOMENT'S AWARD GOES TO......... BRANDON BOYD (yes once again) !!!!! WOOOO!!! ---------------------------------------------- Hottness has no count for age.... thats why I'm merrying a forty year old who goes by the name of JOHNNY DEPP!!!! ----------------------------------------------- Fortune cookies tell all, so when i got the cookie telling me to date my love i became a stalker to Johnny Depp, and when i find him my excuse will be "the cookie made me do it" ------------------------------------------------ I'm not stupid, I'm special ------------------------------------------------ "But why is the rum gone?" "Captian, Catian Jack Sparrow" "pa-pa-pa parsnip, parla, --" "Just don't do anything... stupid" "WELL IT BLOODY IS NOW!" ~Captian Jack Sparrow ------------------------------------------------ Read my FP.net story!!!

03-21-2003, 09:47 AM	#32
Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn The Elven Queen Of All Pyros Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Im like a little bug stuck in the lamp...never going anywhere Posts: 795	i love the simpsons! i've seen like everyone..my favorite quote is.... dr. hibert: "im a little worried about you brother getting better lisa" bart: (stands up and moons everyone with a nose and stethescope and eyes drawn on his butt) "im dr. tush and im a little behind woo!" lisa: he'll be fine __________________ Would you judge my future based on what i did in the past? Procrastinators Unite!!!.....tomorrrow.... Kids in backseats cause accidents...accidents in backseats cause kids As long as there are tests..there will be prayers in school

03-25-2003, 05:03 PM	#33
glasses Enting Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Would you like a philosophical answer? Posts: 82	Rev. Lovejoy: Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll. __________________ Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT? Our early attempts for a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call...Preparation H.

03-25-2003, 07:49 PM	#34
FoolofaTook Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ??? Posts: 214	My favourite would have to be: Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it. Or Hutz: I've argued in front of every judge in this state -- often as a lawyer.

03-25-2003, 11:29 PM	#35
gimli7410 the dumb stoner canuck Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: canada Posts: 2,542	ralph is a classic ralph:whats a battle ralph:whats a diorama ralph:my doctor said my nose wont bleed as much if i just keep my finger out of it __________________ -"Down with the system"-Serj tankian of system of a down -“Humans have been on the earth for millions of years, yet we don’t believe man began thinking until he started building walls. And what good have these walls ever done us?”-Serj tankian of soad -"stupid people do stupid things"-Serj tankian of soad "Trying is the first step to failure" Homer Simpson "It isn't going to be easy"-jerseydevil "only the good die young" I AM CANADIAN If the people lead, the leaders will follow.

03-29-2003, 10:28 AM	#36
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	D'oh __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination!

03-31-2003, 05:43 AM	#37
Baby-K Corruptor Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Jozi SA Posts: 1,885	Homer is King Homer: All right brain, you don't like me & I don't like you. But let's just get me through this and I can get back to killing you with beer. Homer's brain: It's a deal! Yet another Homer quote: Oh Lisa, you & your stories - "Bart is a vampire." "Beer kills brain cells." Now let's go back to that....building....thingy, where our beds & TV....is __________________ Don't wet yourself with excitement.

03-31-2003, 05:49 AM	#38
Lady Tinuveil Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Oregon Hills Posts: 257	~ stay away from that wackie tobaccie! Ha ha

03-31-2003, 09:44 AM	#39
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	Ralph:This tastes like Gramma Cheif Wiggum: Your right it DOES taste like Gramma YEAH 500 posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination! Last edited by ArwenEvenstar : 03-31-2003 at 09:50 AM.

04-02-2003, 07:16 AM	#40
Linaewen Fair Dinkum Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 2,319	'But if we take the 10,000, we'll be millionaires!' -Homer Last edited by Linaewen : 04-02-2003 at 07:18 AM.

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