War For All Valinor!

[Fimbrethil]

Random Sloth:Well mistress I went and did what you asked...

Terin:Good now go away!

Boogie:Rah! Go away! Rah!

Terin: Shut up you annoying parrot! I don't even know why I put up with you! I could kill you and be done with it!

Conscience: Good people don't kill.

Terin:Oh, and why can't I get rid of you too.

Smart Sloth: Well, because theretically it doesn't exist. You could make it stop, but that would require brain power that you just do not have.

Terin: You're such a smart ass you know.

Smart Sloth: I try.

Terin: Where did Purple go?

Smart Sloth: I believe he went to watch the penguins fighting.

Terin:Well why isn't he back yet!! That was more than enough time to watch the exploding penguins and get back here, even for a sloth. You two *terin pointed at random and smart* find him.

*about 2 hours later*

Smat Sloth: I regret to infrom you that Purple is dead. Appently he got to close.

Terin: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I will have my revenge on the penguins! Get our ranks in order we march!

Smart Sloth: Well, you see we can't march our bodies aren't made for it...

Terin: For the love of Eru! Why couldn't it have been you I sent away!

*and so making very slow progress they began to march...er...crawl toward the army of the penguins*

OOC: Conscience, I don't think I spelled that right but hopfully you get what I was trying to say. If you haven't noticed my sloths have names...names that describe who they are, just wait till I get stupid sloth in there during the battle!

[Sanity's Demise]

OOC: Okay. This is Roya and then now this is Human!!! Bwahha! Roya's funeral (sp?!)

*The army of Ninjas and penguins were all arrayed on a random hillside, the dying sun gleaming on their armor and their feathers. All had at least a bowed head, pengins randomly blowing up as the surpressed tears over whelmed them with emmotion.*

*And so, the conquestaring (Human's invention) army were so arrayed to send their old leader to her pyr. The body was lain on the pyr and was about to be shoved off by elves scantily clad in grey, all captives of war (I believe Galadriel could be recognized among them). It was glorious!!!! The slaves piled kegs of boooze onto the barge and thus laden it was sent out to sea*

Human: Wait! We need sacrificial victims!! *sees Katt and Galadriel* Aha!

*throws them both bodily on the raft Galadriel screaming and Katt saying...*

Katt: Ah ****, now I have to swim back to- *BOOM*

*and so the raft had exploded into flame and Katt poped in and out existence, only getting so far before she died and came back.*

*pop*

*Pop*

*POp*

*POP!!!*

Human: Wow! Just like pop corn!

*Katt had hopped back to shore where she was promptly knawed on by Human*

Human: Salty.....*chew*

[Human#3.141592653]

This is Insane/Human posting with mucho gusto. Or something. Simillar. Yeah.

And in the wake of the Demise of the Last Sane Person, a great void was creatd in the power structure of the Evil Conquiatdores. A gigantic war council was held, for all the organizing things. And who got what and where and...Yeah.

Anyway!

Fimbrethil, Insanity, Human, Maggie, Katt, Earniel and Goldiegolum were seated around in a large circular table, with a large map of Valinor and small monoply pieces indicating each's respective army. Currently there was an argument raging....

Fimbrethil: I wanted to be the top hat!

Insanity: *dressed in her black military uniform* NO! Human's the top hat! Goldie! Quit eating the pieces!! This is important!

Goldie: *looking upward and slightly guilty* Whimper?? *Spits out the shoe piece*

Insanity: Ok, this is just plain weird!!!

*And with that sentiment, in sauntered an extremely pretty, actually quite a drop dead gorgeous woman. She was about five foot four, with long black hair, sun tanned smooth skin, and regal green eyes. She simply enter and stood at the door, gazing interestedly at Insanity *

Insanity: *gazing back* Huuuh...er. *Looking away* Um! Yes! Anyway, as I was saying, as the north Eastern Shore has been taken...um...*sneaks a glance at HER*

*The mysterious woman casually strolled around the table with a faint foxy smile to stand directly behind Insanity, who seeemed by this point to be thoroughly distracted, and begins to babble incoherently.*

Insanity: Er..um...well...uh..uuh...and then...we...take....chickens and and and AND!

*And by that time, the mysterious woman, leaned over and wrapped her arms around Insanity's neck and shoulders, as she squeaked. The woman paused for a moment, savoring sweet victory, before lightly placing a kiss on Insanity's cheek and strolling back out.*

Insanity: Oh lord....*Falls on floor, and calls after retreating figure* NOT IN PUBLIC! PLEASE!

Woman: Fine then. I'll see you later in your tent!

Insanity: *Freezes* ARG! *makes a look of a person who was being called in by their angry significant other, which we suppose, she must have been.*

*Maggie, who for the most part had remaind silent (still fuming at Roya's capture of the Valar and her sudden death), was dressed in a regal gown of some elven kind was silently laughing at the situation*

Maggie: *Raises eyebrow smirks* What was that all about, hmm?

Insanity: None of you business! Like you're one to talk, with PHILLIP !!!

Maggie: *Squeaks indignantly*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: AAH! IT's "you're one to talk" not "your one to talk"!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: THere. I fixed it. Thanks for your pasword PIE!!!

[Human#3.141592653]

NOOO!!! Not my percious password!

Well...so long as you use it to fix my spelling errors, that's fine with me!

[Willow Oran]

Maggie: *settles back into her chair and sulks slightly* What happened in the situation you refer to had nothing to do with signifigant others. It was merely a case of close friends attempting to sleep on the same couch in squished conditions. Nothing more.

Human: Riiight... Anyway the less populated parts of Valinor have been successfully taken but the defenses Miss Innocent *she shoots a glare at Maggie* and her minions set up around the cities are still holding meaning that while we evil conquistadores have the land she's still got the elves.

Maggie: *looks smug* You bet I still have them, and I have no intention of giving them up. They're MINE.

Insanity: Yours? What side are you on anyway? I mean sure you say you're on the good side but really...

Maggie: *smiles* Well yes I am blindingly good, however you should all know by now that when I say blindingly good I really mean evil. So you could say quite truthfully that I've evil. Of course, with Roya still alive I couldn't be evil because she was but now that she's gone... I'm free to be as evil as I like.

*So saying she dissapeared*

Earniel: *sigh* We really should have known, it makes sense though, she's much more effective at being evil than you human.

Human: What?!? *sputters indignantly for a few moments and then stops, a look of horror on her face.* Wait... If Maggie's evil... Does this mean I have to be good now?

[Sanity's Demise]

OOC: aha! My account works! Happy!

Insanity: Wait...What about me? I'll be damned if i am to be on the good side! Not when my noble predecesor did soo much evil while still Sane! I declare to be evil!

*Thunder and over effects*

Human: Hey! Cut it out PJ!

*effects stop*

Maggie: *from far away* Damn it! The whole evil thing was mine!

Insanity: *sarcastic* Well, i guess it isnt now, is it cream poof?

Maggie: Ah! Curse you!

Insanity: Nah nah nah nah nah nah! *thpppt*

Maggie: Ooohhh...when i get my hands on you i'll....!

Insanity: Right...you aint gunna do a damn thing! Ponce off!

OOC: Hoy! When did I say you could be evil you...*thwacked over the head by a flying purple note book* Ach!

[Legoles]

OOC:*Sees flying purple notebook, dodges* Yack! What was that for?

*Army of anime peples sneaks behind penguin army.* "Lets stay here until they move... K?"
"K mistress Sakura."

[Human#3.141592653]

IC:

Maggie: *settles back into her chair and sulks slightly* What happened in the situation you refer to had nothing to do with signifigant others. It was merely a case of close friends attempting to sleep on the same couch in squished conditions. Nothing more.

*Snort* And it’s significant. Not sigifigant. BWA HA HA HA!!!! Got you on that one! Eh? Eh? *Promptly falls out of chair*

Also, I have posted the definition of a character in the rules and regulations thread. So...jsut in case you were wunderin'...

OC:

Human: What?! WHAT?! *Pant pant pant* I so confused!!!

Katt: I think that Maggie is Good. And evil. And Good. And...Good...at being...evil?

Human: Wait! Then that does mean that I'm good doesn't it??

Katt: Is does?

Human: *Suddenly confused* It does?

Katt: Wait! It Does!

Human: It does! Wait! No it doesn't!

Katt: Yes it does!

Human: No it doesn't!

Katt: Yes!

Human: No!

Katt: Yes!

Human: NO!!! Wait...what?

Katt: Makes you good!

Human: What does?

Katt: Maggie!

Human: Oh. WHY?!

Katt: Because there has to be a balance between good and evil. If Roya's evil, and Maggie's evil than you are good.

Human: Hey! *Suddenly excited* Does that mean that you are good too?

Katt: No. No Dear, it doesn't.

Human: *pouting* Oh. Why not?

Katt: Because first I'll be on Maggie's side, and then Roya will tempt me away, and I'll be on her side for awhile. And then maybe I'll go back to Maggie, but who can say? And last time, I had a couple of kids at that point, but that's against the rules now.

Human: Well I suppose that it's ok then. I was never any good at being evil any way. Just weird.

Katt: *Pats Human on head* Yup.

Human: So...sense you are on the evil side...does that mean I get to kill you now?

Katt: I suppose...

Human: M'kay, here. Hold my penguin *Sporks away*

*BOOM*

*Pause*

*Pop*

Katt: Damnit, now I've got rice all over my clothes!

[Sanity's Demise]

*Insanity had been watch the whole affair and was totaly confused.*

Insanity: Hey! Confusion is not my style! I gotta clear this up.

*walks in the direction of the blindingly evil good maggie's head quarter. But she is confronted by her former selfs ninjas*

Insane: What?

Ninja: well, what are we supposed to do?

Insane: Um, kill things mightly?

Ninja: Right. *goes off to rally the troops*

Insane: And they needed me to tell them that because....? Incompetent fools.

*Heads over to maggie and knocks on the door*

Maggie: What? *looks at Insane* Oh...You...

Insane: The feeling is mutual. What the hell are we to do? We are both evil but you are for some unforseen reason still protecting the elves...Why?

Maggie: Well, um...

Insane: I suppose we will have to coexist somewhat peacefully until we get that buffoon out of the way.

Maggie: Right! Want some tea?

[goldiegollum]

GG: *sneak sheaak sneak* *steps on pointy twig* ACH! AW! MEH! oh, right: *sneak sneak sneak*

She snuck stealthily over to the penguin army, but as she was umm... *snigger* quietly sneaking, she ran right into

GG: *sneak sneak-* WHA! HUMAN! *jumps unnaturally high*

HUMAN: WAH! GOLDIE! that was beautiful sneaking (though i much prefer sporking as a mode of transportation) however, a little noisy to be affective. But who cares about affective?

GG: Errr....mmmm *twiddles nervously with a ringlet of twig-filled goldish hair*

HUMAN: *causally* so... what're your plans for destruction and devestation?

GG: umm...actually i'm kind of new at this...i'm not much good at being forceful or powerful or...

HUMAN: sneaky?

GG: *pouts* .... are you going to leave now?

HUMAN: Ummm...no. I don't believe so. why?

GG: Because i'm trying to take over part of your penguin army! So i kind of need you to-*realizes what she's just said* ach! no! *drops head into hand*

[Sanity's Demise]

*Insane was a little hesitant at the prospect of going back to her tent. Where Laylah would probably be lying in wait. So she walked around for a bit. And bumped into goldie and Human.*

insane: Um, so you want some penguins aye?

Goldie: yeah...hehehe...

Insane: oh. okay.

Human: Bye.

OOC: KATT! keep the kinky ness to a minimum with her okay!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Ah! Back on the side of evil! But who was that woman with Insanity? No one does a crazy sex scene before me!

*And so Katt went off on her little quest to have some fun, fizzle some brains, and make some enemies.*

*And the mysterious woman from the monopoly scene was still waiting in Roya's tent...*

*The tent flap opened, but it wasn't who she expected.*

Woman: I've heard of you, you're Katt. The sex crazed evil one.

Katt: My reputation preceeds me? Goodie. I have heard of you too, Laylah.

Laylah: Well, what a surprize.

Katt: You know why I've come?

Laylah: *Saunters over to the bed and sits* Sorry honey. You can't just waltz in here and expect to seduce me.

Katt: You're doing a pretty good job trying to seduce me.

Laylah: Forget it. I know why you're really here. Who you're really after.

Katt: *pauses* You do?

Laylah: You're not getting her. You know it.

Katt: *grabs Laylah's neck* You don't know that! Someday I will rule her. I will rule them all.

Laylah: There's a good evil overlord.

*Cut to anything but the raunchy sex scene that just started.*

OOC: She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.

[Human#3.141592653]

OC: Good gods! It has started already!

*Shudder*

Ic:

Human: *Shivers* Something evil is taking place in Valinor...

Penguin: Mier.

Human: Well...I mean...besides the conquistadoring.

Penguin: *Nonplussed* Mier.

Human: Anyway! I have an announcement! We are no longer the Evil Conquistador Hoard of Penguins, bent on world Domination! We are now...*Dramatic pause* The Good Guys!

*Serveral penguins explode out of shock*

*squeaka*

Human: Yes, yes, I know, this will take some getting used to, but we can still smash and run amuck, we just have to be constructive is all...

*squeaka-squeaka*

Now, first thing's first! The Lands we have taken are to be returned to the elves once we get the elves back from Sickeningly sweet Maggie.

*squeaka-squeaka-squeaka*

So that means we forti-Goldie?

Goldie: *Looking up from shoving penguins into her pockets* Hermph?

Human: What do you think you are doing?

Goldie: Um...stealing your penguin army?

Human: *puts head in hands* I thought that we had discussed this.

Goldie: I know! *Wails* But I don't have an army and yours is so big, and I thought what's a few penguins here and there between friends, hmm?? *Eyes become huge a water filled*

Human: Er...

Goldie: *Sniffle*

Human: OK! OK! OK! You can have a legion of Penguins! But no more!

Goldie: YAY!! *Tracks human with her patented Fierce Hug of Rapture!(TM)*

Human: GACK! Can't...breathe...

*pause, Goldie eases up abit.*

Goldie: By the way, how many penguins in a Legion?

Human: 2 Troops.

Goldie: Oh.

*Pause*

Goldie: How many penguins in a Troop?

Human: Five Squadrons.

Goldie: Oh.

*Pause*

Goldie: How many Penguins in a Squadron?

Human: Well! I must be getting along now! Have a whole gaggle of Elves to rescue, Evil-I mean, Good Maggie running around you know...

*Sporks off into the sunset leaving Goldie with an unknown amount of Penguins behind.*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Actually, I think we WILL put in the scene. It is wonderful. I wrote it in math.

*Laylah grabbed Katt's wrist and pulled her into a kiss. Katt simply melted into Laylah's lips. Gingerly, she placed her hand in the small of Laylah's back, while Laylah ran her hands up Katt's other arms to her shoulders. Softly they fell down on the bed. The shedded clothes made a nest around them, creating a sauna from the body heat. Inside was a mixture of teeth and lips; of hair, skin, and nails. Both tasted a mixture of exquisite pain and pleasure. And they thought of the same name, which was not one or the other of theirs. They sighed and settled back, waiting to be caught. That's when the fun would begin!*

*Insane opened the tent flap and stopped. She saw the pile of clothes, she knew what she would find underneath. But she had to expose these freaks to the light...*

OOC: HAS ANYONE CAUGHT ON YET?

[Sanity's Demise]

Insane: Wha...Ga...Uh....Grr!?! *smacks head*

*The girls suddenly felt themselves being ripped out of thier nest and dragged upwards by their wrists and then roughly deposited on the floor, staring at Insane's steel toe boots.*

Insane: HOW DARE YOU!

Laylah: Um...well I can explain....

Insane: Shut up you little she whore!

*Laylah shuts up and looks at the ground. Katt laughs.*

Katt: Well, you can't deny that it was fun. And now it is even more interesting!

Laylah: It was a well written scene...And it was the best I've had in a long while....I havent been getting anywhere with her....

Insane: *fumes* Shut UP! *hits her* Now, since it is you who has done this thing, I wonder who it is that you both crave. If you were normal and had a bit of logic I would conclude that it was me but since it is you....

Katt: I am not telling.

Insane: GAH!!!

*Insane drags both naked girls out the tent and throws them down, tying Laylah and forcing her to watch. She proceeds to beat Katt to death, yet when she is an inch from death, Insane stops. She shoots a withering glance at Laylah and ruffs her up a bit too before shoving her, still tied, into the tent*

Insane: Now, I think your master would want you. Up!

*but before Katt can get up, Insane runs a knife verticly along the soles of Katts feet. She ties a rope around her neck and pulls the henchwoman along to her master.*

*Insane knocks on Maggies door*

Maggie: What now?

Insane: I think this is yours. *throws Katt to her mistress*


OOC: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIND BLEACH! MIND BLEEEEEAAAAAAACH!

[Earniel]

I think this is where I remind you all that the Entmoot is still PG-13.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: It's ok, we know.

OOC: OH MY GOD ROYA! YOU ARE SO DENSE!

Maggie: Good Grief Insane! Do you really need a lecture about excessive violence? Again?

Insane: No! That wasn't excessive at all! She had an explicit sex scene!

Maggie: You can do it so long as you don't describe it. We are rated PG-13

Insane: *splutters* Well, I wouldn't have even had to if Katt woulda just told me who she's actually after!

Maggie: Um, she didn't tell you because you already figured it out.

Insane: WHAT???

Katt: Saying I don't have any logic! HUH! That is a bad insult! OW!

Maggie: Oh Katt, let's get you fixed up, my logical sane minion.

*Maggie helps Katt limp inside while Insane looks baffled.*

Katt: Can't you just kill me again?

Maggie: Oh no dear! I would never kill you! Not unless you pissed me off.

*Door slams shut.*

Insane: But if I was right all along, that means that Katt, URG!!! *Shudders and runs back to her camp REALLY REALLY FAST!*

[Sanity's Demise]

*Insane was to be found sitting in her tent with a sizable bottle of spirits. The clothes were still in the bed, which Insane was avoiding. Laylah was in a heap in the corner of the tent*

Insane: Ach..em...eh...shite.

Human: I am surprised you didnt see it coming.

Insane: But I did! In the back of my head I did! I just didnt want to think about....IT.

Human: Oh. *shrugs and leaves*

*Insane merely sits and drinks then finally goes about reorganizing the place. She picks up the clothes and hands Laylah back hers so she can get dressed. Insane goes to sleep in her bed as laylah goes next to her. Both are asleep in minutes, for both had a long day.*