The Pants Game

:lol: Excellent!!

Cold be hand and heart and pants,
and cold be levis on the man,
never more to wake on stony bed,
never, till the Zipper fails and the Button is dead.
In the dark wind the pants shall die,
And still on shorts here let them lie,
till the shorts lord lifts his feet
over dead sea and withered jeans.

"Slam the jeans and wedge them!" shouted Aragorn. "And keep your shorts on as long as you can: we may get a chance to dance our way out yet." "No! said Gandalf. "We must not get shut in! Keep the east jean ajar! We will go that way, if we have a chance."

Another shrill rip-call and shrill cries rang out. Feet were coming down the zipper. There was a ring and a clatter as the Company drew their pants. Glamdring shone with a pale light, and Sting glinted at the buttons. Boromir set his shoulder at the western jean.

"Wait a moment! Do not close it yet!" said Gandalf. He sprang forward to Boromir's side and drew himself uup to his full sight. "Who comes hither to disturb the rest of Balin Lord of Pants?".....

It came to the edge of the dresses and the light faded as if a shirt had bent over it. Then with a rush it leaped across the dresses. The dresses roared up to greet it, and wreathed about it; and a black hat swirled in the air. It's streaming fabric kindled, and blazed behind it. In its right hand was a short like a stabbing tongue of fire; in it's left it held a belt of many fabrics and tongs......

"You cannot pass. I am a Servant of the Secret Pants, wielder of the flame of Trousers. You cannot pass, flame of Hats. Go back to the Dresses! You cannot pass."

kadabra65, welcome to the board...

You're making one hell of a splash entry here, with that wonderful take on Moria!

http://ubcentral.starshadow.com/smilies/Newbie.gif

:lol:

If you guys really like this, go to www.powerup.com.au/~jdc/pants.htm
It's Star Wars, but it's related to the subject and simply hilarious; more than even this thread.

Silver flow the pants from Celos to Erui
In the green pants of Lebennin!
Tall grow the pants there. In the wind from the Pants
The white pants sway,
And the golden pants are shaken of mallos and alfirin
In the green pants of Lebennin,
In the wind from the Pants!

O! Wanderers in the shadowed pants
despair not! For though dark they stand,
all pants there must be cuffs at last,
and see the opened zippers go past:
the setting pants, the rising pants,
the pants end, or the pants begun.
For east or west all pants must fail...

This is fun!!
Okay, here's another one:

"I have an urgend errand," he said. "My pants are evil." Then he looked about him, as if the zippers might have ears. "Kilts," he whispered. "The Nine are abroad again. They have crossed the Fabric secretly and are moving westward. They hae taken the guise of riders in pants."
I knew then what I had dreaded without knowing it.
"The Enemy must have some great jeans or overalls," said Radagast; "but what it is that makes him look to these distant and desolate pants, I cannot guess."
"What do you mean?" said I.
"I have been told that wherever they go, the Kilts ask for a land called Pants."
"THE Pants," I said, but my zipper sank. For even the Pants might fear to withstand the Nine, when they are gathered together under their fell hem. A great jeans and sorcerer he was of old, and now he wields a deadly pants. "Who told you, and who sent you?" I asked.

"Pants, pants, pants!" Gollum cried. "My Pants! O my Pants!" And with that, even as his hands were lifted to zip up his fly, he felt the flatulence building, he wavered for a moment on the brink, and then with a shriek he passed. Out of the depths came his last wail Pants, and he was gone.

[TinuvielChild]

i really loved the first post, i literally could not stop laughing! after that they got kinda boring tho...

[Kwijibo]

'Balin at your service!' 'And Bilbo Baggins to your's and your pants'

'Knock on the doors with your pants, Peregrin Took! But if that does not split them, and I am allowed a litte peace from foolish underwear'

'The hour is later than you think. The Bloomers have left Minas Trousers. They crossed the River Underwear on Midsummer's Jeans, disguised as lingerie salesmen. They will find the pants, and kill the one who carries them'

[sparrowhawkgirl]

"I would not pass through your pants unless I had no other choice"

[Elanor]

Well, it's time for some more of these. They're best if they're kept pretty short, and out of context...

"Renewed shall be pants that were broken:
The pantless again shall be king."

"I wish The Pants had never come to me. I wish none of this had ever happened.";
"So do all who live to face such pants, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the pants that are given to us."

"I don't know half of you pants as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you pants as well as you deserve."

"The Pants are going to wake up and find that they are strong."--Gandalf

"Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am Gandalf the Pants, who has returned from death. You have no pants now, and I cast you from the pants and from the Council."

"For living or dark undead, I will pants you, if you touch him."--Eowyn

"If by my life or pants I can protect you, I will."

"Even the Wise cannot see all pants."--Gandalf

"I ask only for the strength to defend my pants!"--Boromir

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
So carefully! carefully with the pants!"

"I am Saruman of many pants"

"the pants are shut, they were made by those who are dead...and the dead wear them."

"Come not between the Nazgul and his pants"

"I desire no man's pants."

[littleadanel]

*falls out of chair laughing*

Originally Posted by Elanor

"I ask only for the strength to defend my pants!"--Boromir

Hysterical

Well, let me try some (after all these hilarious ones)...

" 'Pants!' said Frodo. 'You seem to have a lot of names.'
'Well, Pants is the one I haven't heard before, anyway,' said Bilbo. 'What do you call him that for?'
'They call me that in Bree,' said Pants laughing, 'and that is how I was introduced to him.' "

"But Saruman will try to pants you, won't he?"

" A pants! That is not well. We have not had dealings with the Pants since the Dark Days. Pants are not permitted in our land. I cannot allow him to pass."

"Never did I see a pants so wielded."

[Lief Erikson]

Hilarious, Elanor .

Originally Posted by littleadenel

Pants are not permitted in our land. I cannot allow him to pass.

So good.


He was feeling very queer indeed in his head by this time after the dreadful aqdventures off the last three days with next to nothing to eat, and he found himself saying aloud, "Now I know what a pair of pants feels like when it is suddenly picked out of the pan on a fork and put back on the shelf!"

(The Hobbit, p. 97)

"To tell you the truth, we have lost our pants and nearly lost our way, and are rather in need of help, or at least of advice. I may say we have had rather a bad time with goblins in the mountains."

"Pants?" said the big man less gruffly. "O ho, so you've been having trouble with them have you? What did you go near them for?"

(The Hobbit, p. 105)

[Lady Willow Rose]

Gimli: Come on, we can take 'em!
Aragorn: It's a long way.
Gimli: Pants me.

Arwen: I would rather share one pants with you than spend all the ages of the world in them alone.

Galadriel: Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future.

[clep_web]

Boy, this is fun.

"Well, if you want my pants yourself, say so!" cried Bilbo.

"A Pants of Power looks after itself, Frodo. It may slip away treacherously, but its wearer never abandons it."

"My pants, short or long, never go wrong."

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

Narn I Hin Pants

Of the Tuor and the Fall of Pants

There and Pants Again: A Pair of Trouser's Tale, by Bilbo Jeansins

[Farimir Captain of Gondor]

funny stuff

"You draw far to much attention to your self Mr Underpants"

"Sure i know a Baggins. Frodo Baggins. He's my second pants once removed."

"Do not trust to pants. It has forsaken these lands"

"Now come the days of the pants. May they be blessed"