Do nazguls have to go to the bathroom? and other pointless questions

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I don't think Wormtongue particularly cares for hot water because when he knows he is in it he sneaks off to Isengard. I do believe there was a spa in one of the upper rooms of Orthanc though judging by the amount of time Saruman spent up there!!

OK, I've answered several of these, but have yet to ask one. So here goes. Why does Cirdan have a beard?

That wiley Gandalf (in his younger years) replaced his fine Elven cologne with Rogaine.

Who (or what) were the chief inhabitants of the Wetwang? Feel free to speculate whether they are for, against, or indifferent to the cause of the Fellowship. Don't bother answering if you are indifferent to this question's validity or disgusted with the word Wetwang. "Old King Cole was a merry old soul..and a merry old soul was he..."

Hmmm

Cirdan... well, he´s and old sea wolf, and how can you think on an beardless sea wolf. Surely he also smokes leaf with and old pipe.

Cirdan had a beard? Somehow I missed that... Wetwang--well, the buggets live there. These are sometimes know as the "fourthlings" and are about half as tall as hobbits, sometimes know as peridemiannath, or bulgytla. They live not in holes, but in pillows. The whole place is covered with their little pillow houses.

What name brand of clothing would Ghan-buri-Ghan wear if he lived in Quitman, Mississippi?

Brand of clothing? Heck, I didn't know Gramma got her stuff recognized federally!

Never having been to MS, I wouldn't know.

Well, I have been to Quitman, MS, and the Wild Men there wear Carharts.

Who has the most beautiful nostrils of any Middle-Earth character?

I guess no one wants to tackle that question, eh?

The Bakshi cartoon had a babelicious Galadriel. She had nice nostrils.

Yeah, but that "CHiPs" hairdo has to go......

In the immortal words of a friend I saw the Bakshi LOTR with, " She'd be cute if she weren't blue!" This was uttered during the Mirror of Galadriel scene.

If you were a nazgul and you could kill any member of the company except Frodo who would you kill?

Sam, because Frodo would have never made it to Mount Doom without him. Greatly increases Sauron's chances of regaining his Ring.

What would the Nazgul have ridden/driven if they had lost their steeds and Sauron had won? Harleys? Mechershmitz?