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05-28-2005, 11:21 AM
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#21 |
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Lady of the Ulairi
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minas Morgul
Posts: 2,783
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From: Mrs. S. Lob, Head of Ungol Elite Rehabilitation Clinic for ring-afflicted persons
<shelob@ungol.org> To: Misters Smeagol and Gollum Subject: Your affliction can be cured Dear Sirs, It has become clear from the prayer you sent recently to a fictional Fisher God that you are suffering from a Split Personality Syndrome (SPS) aggravated by a Persecution Mania (PM). This illness is rare in M-E, but is common enough among ring-bearers. Our Clinic is the only medical institution in Arda specializing in such mental afflictions. Our leading Professor -Consultant Dr. S. Ron has successfully treated several dwarves and men from SPS-PM syndrome. As our Clinic is highly interested in such cases as yours, we offer you free medical treatment and hospitality. You are not alone in this World. There are friends ready to take care of you. Your illness will be cured! We are waiting for you. Don't worry, just come! Mrs. S. Lob MD, PhD Head of The Ungol Elite Rehabilitation Clinic |
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05-28-2005, 12:06 PM
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#22 |
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Lady of the Ulairi
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minas Morgul
Posts: 2,783
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From: Khamul the Shadow of the East, Lord of Dol Guldur
<no2nazgul@dolguldur.org> To: The Witch-King of Angmar, Lord of Morgul <no1nazgul@morgul.gov> Subject: Your advice needed ASAP! O my Lord and Captain, I have received a strange letter from the White Witch across the river! It was on a pink-colored paper and reeking of Niphredil. She addressed me as "My dearest Lord Khamul" and vowed her undying friendship and affection. Moreover she pretended to be Our Overlord's "Lieutenant-General of West Dol Guldur (Formerly Lothlorien)" I don't know what to think! Has she fallen headfirst from her mallorn tree recently? Or is it some game started by our Master? I am afraid Our Lord's age-old infatuation with the Lady in question makes this possible… O, my Captain, what should I do? Your confused servant Khamul of Dol Guldur |
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05-31-2005, 03:57 AM
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#23 |
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Shape-shifting, men-grabbing NAZGUL
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Mirkwood
Posts: 796
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From: Manwe, Lord of Arda <taniquetil.manwe@valinor.com>
To: Mithrandir <gandalf>everywhere_and_nowhere.com Look Olorin, yet again you have let the situation out of control! You must immediately locate and apprehend a certain Gollum-Smeagol possessing vital and dangerous info. Report back immediately, Very displeased, Manwe, Lord of the West. |
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05-31-2005, 04:04 AM
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#24 |
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Shape-shifting, men-grabbing NAZGUL
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Mirkwood
Posts: 796
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To: strider@angle.com
From Gandalf T.G <gandalf@everywhere_and_nowhere.com Subject: IMPORTANT JOB Dear Aragorn, I am in a bad fix. WE ALL are in a bad fix! The M-E needs your help! Catch me a certain Gollum, little slimy mad creature almost like a mutant hobbit. Bring him to Thranduil's, NOT to Lorien! Sincerely yours, Gandalf |
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05-31-2005, 04:09 AM
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#25 |
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Shape-shifting, men-grabbing NAZGUL
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Mirkwood
Posts: 796
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From: Misters Smeagol and Gollum <fish@mmountains.com>
To: Mrs. S. Lob, Head of Ungol Elite Rehabilitation Clinic for ring-afflicted persons <shelob@ungol.org> Re: Your affliction can be cured Dear missuss Lob, Thanksss for pitying pour usss! We comesss! We comes to clinicsss! Do you have fisshesss for uss? Nice fishesss! Gollum! Poor wretchesess Smeagol and Gollum |
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05-31-2005, 06:06 PM
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#26 | |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: here and there
Posts: 3,514
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Sent: 05-28-2005 05:06 PM original message: Quote:
Dear Khamul, seek for the Olmer that was woken, in West Dol Guldur not to be found, there or thereabouts counsel and legal advice stronger than morgul spells can be found, visit Plaice, Haddock and Cod Asssociates of Anduin Vale for more secret details. (open late night Thursdays) IF in doubt ... |
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07-24-2005, 05:30 AM
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#27 | |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Some where quite interesting with psychedelic trees
Posts: 124
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Quote:
To: Gollum/Smeagol Presiousess@GollumGollum.com From: Master, ie Frodo Baggins fbaggins@Bagend.com RE: your attourney's fees -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Smeagol May I remind you That you swore on the precious to do my bidding and if you do tell TDLS about the wearabouts of his ring I shall put on the precious and tell you to jump off a cliff or into the fire! But just in case I will pay a contribution towards your attourney's fees, yours faithfully Frodo Baggins Master
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So do all who see such times, but that is not for us to decide, all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us Gandalf And what happened to the rest of your party, killed, eaten, gone home? Beorn, The Hobbit Dark and difficult Times lie ahead Harry, soon we must all face a choice, a choice between what is right and what is easy! Dumbledore Neo Are you listening to Me? Or are you too busy looking at the Woman in the Red Dress? Morpheus, The Matrix |
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08-10-2005, 09:38 AM
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#28 | ||
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Friendly Neigborhood Sith Lord
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 2,080
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to: ann landers c/o smeagol
from:friendless in antarctica dear gollum I don't have any friends  why?dear antarctica smeagol:are u some kind of penguin preciouses we likes penguins Gollum: u don't have any friends nobody likes u cackles  Smeagol: no no we likes penguins they are moviestars like me Gollum: like us Smeagol: yes thats what we meant precious Gollum: we hates movie stars they lies to us precious they lied about fish in hollywood they did, no one let us have any fish in hollywood i'm going to kick that sean astins fat **** Sam: youre hopeless
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I was Press Secretary for the Berlioz administration and also, but not limited to, owner and co operator of fully armed and operational battle station EDDIE Quote:
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08-12-2005, 04:13 PM
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#29 | |
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Hobbit
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In my own little world...
Posts: 24
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Quote:
From: Smeagol - Gollum, gollum (preciousssfishsies@gollumgollum.com) Re: Concerning Ms. S. Lob Gollum: She feeds us. Yes, yes. And She gives us the Preciousss. Gollum, gollum. Smeagol: She scares us. She fails. *starts bawling* Gollum: Why is Smeagol crying, now?
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Vive les chats!!! No one expects...oh, bugger. ~ Monty Python's The Spanish Inquisition -What is taters, precious? -Po-ta-toes ~ LotR, Two Towers (the movie) Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow; Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow. ~Tom Bombadil, LotR, The Fellowship (the book) "-Do you remember your mother? -You mean Natalie Portman?" ~The One-Man Star Wars Trilogy Last edited by Smeagol_fan : 08-12-2005 at 04:15 PM. |
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