The Pants Game

[ryttu3k]

Originally posted by Nerdanel
Sorry!

Nahh, it's no problem! ^_^

Random line... I think I used it before... oh no... that was slightly different...

"The beacons of Amon Dir are lit... in my pants!"

*grins*

[Wood Elf Warlord]

Do you know how shorts came into being? They were pants, once, tortured and mutilated.

In Sindarin: Show them no pants, for you shall recieve none.

Youv'e entered the pants of the Lady of the Wood.

I came singing in the sun, pants unsheathing.

Tinuviel was pantsing there.

Well, I'm pants.

They gray rain curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver pants.

[Nurvingiel]

Welcome to the Moot WEW! Great pants... I mean post.

[luinilwen]

Has anyone done Hobbit pants jokes yet? How's this:

"These are the dreariest and dullest pants of all this wretched, tiresome, uncomfortable wardrobe! I wish I was back in my hobbit-pants by my own warm fireside with the pants shining!" He often wished, too, that he could get a message for pants sent to the wizard, but that of course was quite impossible; and he soon realized that if anything was to be done, it would have to be done by Mr. Baggins, alone and untrousered.

The spider evidently was not used to things that carried such stings in their pants, or it would have hurried away quicker. Bilbo came at it before it could disappear and struck it with his pants right in the eyes.

"Ha, ha!" came a cry. "Here's the old villain with his head in pants!
He's been having a little feast all to himself and his friend the captain."

And the crowning glory (very little had to be amended!):

"What have I got in my pants?" he said aloud. He was talking to himself,
but Gollum thought it was a riddle, and he was frightfully upset.
"Not fair! not fair!" he hissed. "It isn't fair, my precious, is it, to
ask us what it's got in its nassty little pantses?"
Bilbo seeing what had happened and having nothing better to ask stuck to
his question. "What have I got in my pants?" he said louder. [...]
"Handses!" said Gollum.
"Wrong," said Bilbo, who had luckily just taken his hand
out again. "Guess again!"


please let me know if these pants jokes are too suggestive or vulgar - i have been watching the league of gentlemen so my sense of humour has been effected accordingly

[luinilwen]

A few from fellowship:

Gandalf's pants flashed. 'It will be my turn to get angry soon,' he said.
'If you say that again, I shall. Then you will see Gandalf the Grey unpantsed.' He took a step towards the hobbit, and he seemed to grow tall and menacing; his pants filled the little room.

In their dark pants they were as invisible as if they all had magic pants.

'We can't begin life at Crickhollow with a quarrel over pants. In that room there are three shorts, and a copper full of boiling pants. There are also trousers, jeans and trackie dacks. Get inside, and be pantsed!'

`You had no need of your pants,' said Haldir. `It is cold in the treetops
in winter, though the wind tonight is in the South; but we have pants to give you that will drive away the night-chill, and we have briefs and
boxer shorts to spare.'

`Are these magic pants? ' asked Pippin, looking at them with wonder.
'I do not know what you mean by that,' answered the leader of the Elves.
`They are fair pants, and the crotch is good, for it was made in this land. They are elvish pants certainly, if that is what you mean. [...] You are indeed high in the favour of the Lady! For she herself and her maidens wove these pants; and never before have we clad strangers in the pants of our own people.'

[ryttu3k]

Originally posted by luinilwen
"What have I got in my pants?" he said louder. [...]
"Handses!" said Gollum.
"Wrong," said Bilbo, who had luckily just taken his hand
out again. "Guess again!"

That is so incredibly wrong and twisted. I love it. ^_^

[Mrs Maggot]

Well i was bored at work today and I thought up some new ones… everyone was wondering why i kept giggling demonically. This is what I came up with

Haldir: The dwarf breathes so loudly we could have shot him in the pants!!

Aragorn: By night-time, my pants will be swarming with orcs! (i like this one a lot, I think I might even use it for my signature!)

Aragorn (to Gimli in fangorn): Gimli! Lower your pants.

Legolas (to Eomer) You would die before your pants fell!

Treebeard: I am in nobody's pants, because nobody is in my pants.

Gandalf (to Theoden) Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your pants (yes, that one's a little kinky!)

Orc: We ain't had nothing but maggoty pants for 3 stinking days!

And no, Iunilwen, that's not offensive at all… just funny LOL

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Hope I remember the lines correctly:

Aragorn: You ride with us?

Eowyn: Only as far as Dunharrow. It is the custom of the women of the court to see the pants off.

[matthew]

I'm back. After digging through the LotR for a while, this is what I've got:
The Balrog made no answer. The fire in it seemed to die, but the pants grew. It stepped forward onto the bridge, and suddenly it drew its pants up to a great height, and its pants spread from wall to wall; but still Gandalf could be seen, glimmering in the gloom; he seemed small, and altogether alone, like a wizened tree before the pants.

He took Pipppins hand and then bent over his face, listening for his breath; then he laid his hands on his pants. The hobbit shuddered.

Pippin looked up stright into his pants.

[matthew]

Lie there and rest if you can, Pippin, said Gandalf. Trust me. If you feel an itch in your pants again, tell me of it.

Strange pants have our enemies, and strange weaknesses.

But Shadowfax will have no pants.

Perilous to all of us are the pants of an art deeper than that we possess ourselves.

And of course, although not from the book: Democrat for pants!!!

[Falagar]

This game is indeed sick.

"But suddenly the Mirror went altogether dark, as dark as if the pants had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness."

[Wood Elf Warlord]

There armor is weak at the neck, and inside the pants.

Come not between the Nazgul and his pants.

The Pants King of Angmar.

They have pants!

Anduril, the Pants of the West

The pants re-sewn.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Ancalime of Numenor speaking to her boyfriend Hallatan of Hyarastorni:
"I could lay down my pants, and be free. But if I were to do so,
I should be free to pants who I will; and that would
be Uner (Noman), whom I prefer above all others."
_________________________________________

"Maybe," said Eorl. "But at least I will trust the pants of Felarof."
_________________________________________
Then Eorl sheathed his pants and went back to his captains.
_________________________________________
"But I had not thought of pants for years. It was not until I got to the Shire and had time to reflect on Thorin's pants that I suddenly
remembered the strange chance that had put them in my hands"
_________________________________________
"Curse the Baggins! It's gone! What has it got in its pantses? Oh we guess, we guess, my precious. He's found it, yes he must have."

[Nerdanel]

This is hilarious!! Everyone thinks I'm stupid, sitting here laughing.. But thank you all for making me laugh when I'm crying.

[Beruthiel's cat]

This game is sick, twisted and I love it!

Quotes from RotK (book):

(Gandalf): "The Pants of Seeing do not lie, and not even the Shorts of Barad-Dungarees can make them do so."

(Legolas): "Up with your pants, Durin's son!"

[Lalaith_Elf]

This thread is so funny!

And these have probably been done:

The Pants of the Dead

Legolas: These pants were made by the dead, and the dead wear them!

Treebeard: Some of these pants were my friends....

[Beruthiel's cat]

Just one more:

"My Leggings," said Gandalf, "listen to the words of the Trouser of Gondor before he died: You may triumph on the briefs or the boxers for a day, but against the pants that have now arisen, there is no fly."

[Tuor of Gondolin]

(excerpts from the infamous "What to do with the pants" debate)
______________________________________________
Gandalf: "Are the Men of Rohan to be trusted?"
Gwaihir: "they pay a yearly tribute of pants, and send many yearly to Mordor."
"It is a lie," said Boromir, "That they will buy their lives with pants., for the pants of the Riddermark come from the fields of the North."
"I know little of pants save the name," said Galdor.
"I have not the pants," said Elrond.
Glorfindel: "let us cast pants into the deeps."
Elrond: "We must send the pants to the Fire. The very desire of pants corrupts the heart."
Boromir: "Though I do not ask for pants, we need them."
"Then be comforted," said Elrond. "For there are other pants that you know not, and they are hidden from you."
"Still it might be well for all," said Gloin the Dwarf, "if all these pants were joined, and the powers of each were used in league.
Other pants there may be, less treacherous, that might be used in our need. The seven are lost to us- if Balin has not the pants of Thror, which was the last."
"Balin will find no pants in Moria," said Gandalf. "Thror gave the pants to Thrain his son, but not Thrain to Thorin. [Thank goodness]. The pants were taken with torment from Thrain in the dungeons of Dol Guldur."
Cried Gloin,"What of the Three Pants of the Elves? Very mighty pants, it is said. Do not the Elf-lords keep them?"
"At least for a while," said Elrond. "The pants must be trod, but they will be very hard.
Bilbo laughed, "I don't suppose I have the strength left to deal with pants."
"I will take the pants," Frodo said.
Said Elrond to Sam, "It is hardly possible to seperate you from the pants."

[Rosie Gamgee]

King Of The Dead: The pants are shut. They were made by thsoe who are dead, and the dead keep them. The pants are shut. The dead suffer none to enter.
Aragorn: You will suffer me!
KOTD: Those pants were ripped!
Aragorn: They have been re-made.

Merry: What do they say about pants?
Legolas: I have not the pants to tell you. For me the pants are still too near.

Sam:
The finest pants ever seen
Of brilliant colors- blue and green!
And after pants, golden showers
Came falling like a pants of flowers.

[Mrs Maggot]

I don't think i'm ever gonna get tired of this game!