I don't know!!!!! Where are we... we're all doomed. And those nasty Nazgul waiting for us at the exit. Doomed.

My wife... and my son, Holdomir... damn, what will I do!

The weary little hobbit began to doze again. He had been splattered, sprayed, battered, dirtied, shaken, and awakened. It had really been a very eventful and trying day.

He wished that he had never found this blasted secret room. Not for the first time!

Dear me, I never imagined it would be this difficult for you. How about we get a game of ball going to while the time? *yes, that was a hint*

"That's it!" cried the hobbit, waking from his stupor. "A small white room, a sofa, a birdcage with budgies, a baseball and a baseball bat..."

"...no that's not it. Never mind."

He pulled out a deck of cards and began dealing a hand of solitaire.

A squash room?
Can we play Solitaire Toge Gil[/b]?

"Never heard of it, how about a hand of poker!"

The hobbit's deft little hands flipped the cards back and forth in an amazing display of prestidigitation.

I used to play "Go fish" and "Cheat" in French, class and language. I'm not too good at poker though.
Btw, no serious bets, because if you ever do get out of here, you'd have to honour them.

Another hint. What happens when the batter gets three strikes? That one was a major one. Please don't make me give it away completely!

Me is confused...

I'm not doing it the easy way...

*takes out a Claymore mine and a Kevlar shield*

*hands out hardhats and eye protection*

"DUCK AND COVER!"

*BLAM-O!*

Thick choking clouds dust and the smoke filled the room.

It was long before anyone could see anything or hear anyone.

And as if that weren't enough, someone's rudely long signature had pressed everyone against the walls!

Everyone but the little hobbits, that is! Beneath the signature's vast expanse, Gilthalion had had enough!

The hobbit's best deck of playing cards had been blown to smithereens, his best waistcoat was ruined, his silk smoking jacket was permanently stained, he had been burned, blasted, scorched, rocked, dirtied, awakened, and so many other terrible and even disgusting things had happened that if I were to tell them all it would be almost as long as the preceding signature!

The slow kindled rage of the little people had been stirred to a roaring torch of Liberty! He would endure this vile prison no longer!

Gilthalion picked up the baseball bat and put it in Bullroarer's incompetent hands. Then he threw one right across Bullroarer's strike zone.

Strike One!

Another perfect pitch.

Strike Two!

And another perfect pitch. Bullroarer got a piece of that one, but it was a foul ball, clearly outside the base line. Normally, he was a much better batter but the budgies were a distraction.

Gil threw a curve ball high and close just to shake him up. The ball hurtled past the hobbit's face and rattled his cage.

Ball One! Strike Two!

This time Gil threw a sizzling fast ball right in the middle of the strike zone and it streaked past in a flash, Bullroarer swung and missed and then...

Strike Three!

Gilthalion closed his eyes and cried aloud, though all ears were ringing and none could hear, "Are we Out yet?"

Elbreth choked on the dust and cat hair.
"OK, that's enough. No more explosives of any sort."

She watched as the hobbits picked up the bat and ball, and smiled to herself. Someone was finally catching on!

Yes Gil. You are OUT!
Who else wants to play a little game of ball?

Is Gil out or Bullroarer? Seems to me Gil was the pitcher and Bullroarer struck out...

So, Eruve steps up to the plate. Now Eruve played softball in high school, but that was a few more years ago than she cares to think about on most days. But a softball is a lot bigger than a baseball, and Eruve's batting average, even in high school, was never very high. Gil. manages to fan her on three fastballs down the middle. Eruve never even bothers to take a swing.

Strike Three! Yer out!!

Ok Gil, your time to be out... *Shan hands Gil the baseball bat.*

Fastball, Strike, one
Little tricky butterfly ball, strike two
A fast and curvy one, strike three!

You're OUT!

Gilthalion disapears with a *poof* that was not unlike the blue smoke our wizard once did...

Who's next?

*aryne, standing up from the corner she sat in trying to avoid the explosions, suddenly speaks up* "i am! i knew being mediocre at sotfball would come in handy sooner or later!"

*she takes the bat from Shan. he throws 3 good pitches, but aryne doesn't bother to swing. as the ball whizzes past her for the 3rd time, she screams out "THANKS SHAN!" before she vanishes too*

*shan now picks up the bat* "my turn now," he says, ready to leave this little white room & the explosives embedded in the walls. "who's the relief pitcher?"

meanwhile, aryne, Gil & Eruve find themselves in a rather interesting place...

aryne *

I'll pitch for you Shan, after all, I do have another way of getting out. Here.
*Elbreth pitches a nice, easy, perfect pitch. Shanamir swings the bat deliberatly late*
Oh, come on. Try a little harder.
*Elbreth pitches her best adaptation of a curve ball. Shanamir swings a little earlier, this time barely missing.*
Nice, try that again.
*A fast ball comes whirling at Shan, and he swings...CRACK! Ball and bat connect with a shattering sound. Luckily the ball is wildly foul*
Strike three, you're out!
Shanamir dissappears, leaving a cracked bat behind.

Now I'm ont confused. I'll play. I'll be pitcher. Now, who will will be the batter...

*pulls out a great big pile of plastique and a time-delay plunger*

*sets it to fifteen seconds*

"Somebody say 'Alamo'."

(Do you think 15 seconds is long enough for three strikes?)

They all hear Shan far away voice, and tought that they were hearing it in their heads... "uh uh... dock and cover!!!"

NO, I said no more explosives. Now turn that thing off before I need to lock you up elsewhere.
Anyone else who's still here, go up to the plate and pick up the bat. I'll pitch, you strike out. I already told you, I have another way out of here.

::walks up to plate::