I made a song!!!!! part II

[Beor]

I like those, Rosie , they're real good. All my Gandalfs are white!

[Arathorn]

Every Dark Lord Wants To Rule The World (Ode to Melkor)
(Originally EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD by Tears for Fears)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Welcome to Arda
There's no turning back
Even while Ents sleep
‘Nur will find you

Breaking all their best built labors
Turn your back on Eru’s Favor
Every Dark Lord wants to rule the world

It's your own desire
Take Arda by force
Balrogs at your side

Help you take the most of freedom at your pleasure
World is doomed to sin forever
Every Dark Lord wants to rule the world

There's Utumno where light won't find you
Turning elves while the walls don’t tumble down
When they do Valar will go bind you

So proud you thought you’d make it
So bad Sauron did fake it
Every Dark Lord wants to rule the world

You can't stand this isolation
Arda’s there, You’re in oblivion
Every Dark Lord wants to rule the world

Said that you'll never, never, never, never leave it
One last time, why forsake it?
Every Dark Lord wants to rule the world

All your freedom and your pleasure
Brought to waste and gone forever
Every Dark Lord wants to rule the world

------------------------------

A Pony Named Bill
(Originally HORSE WITH NO NAME by America)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

In the Fellowship of the One Ring
I was cooking most of the time
There were wights and orcs
And wargs and things
There were downs and hills of kings.

The first thing I met was an elf with a bow
And a man with no past
The wraiths were hot
On our trail that’s not
But the Fords were just around

[chorus]
I've been through Eriador on a pony named Bill
It felt good to be out east of Bree
In Eriador, you can go riding with Bill
‘Cause there ain’t no one
short for hobbits to fill

After two days we’re near Weathertop
Frodo’s ring began to burn red.
After three days we’re past Weathertop
He was racing to an old ford’s bed
And the story, I’m told, of the currents that flowed
Made me glad to think he ain’t dead.

[chorus]

After nine days, I let the pony free
'Cause the Watcher we had to flee
There were skulls and orcs
And bones and things
There were stairs and halls of kings.

The cavern is a kingdom
With its halls underground
With its secrets safe from above
East of the city
Lies our friend most profound
‘Cause the Balrog did push and shove

[chorus]

------------------------------

Sam’s Theme
(Originally FLASH’S THEME (Flash Gordon) written by Brian May and sung by Freddie Mercury)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Sam - a-ah - saviour of our middle-earth
Sam - a-ah - he'll feed everyone of us
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Sam - a-ah - he's a gardener
Sam - a-ah – mayor of the little folk

Quest for everyone of us
Cook for everyone of us
He'll slay with a mighty pan
Every orc every sneak
Every night - with a mighty clang

Sam - a-ah
Sam - a-ah - he'll bring everything for us

Just an imp
With a man's courage
He knows nothing of a plan
But Gollum’s on their tail
Yes Sam is but pure in heart
He’ll guide his master’s trail
Oh oh - oh oh
Sam

------------------------------

Rohirrim
(Originally TERMINAL By Rupert Holmes)
Filked by Arathron/Hector

I've come back this morning to where I first said goodbye
Here within this Rohirrim Deep where horsemen survive
I was a White Wizard of the ancient lore
Worked for the great Valar west of Valinor and

You looked east at dawn like I asked for the change in the tide
Shoulder up to shoulder you fought the Uruk-Hai side
Oh your heart was screaming as I rode my steed
Following my charges you would make orcs bleed and

Oh down with the fair Rohirrim all of us whiled
So we slayed with the Rohirrim just as orcs piled

Won't you lead those folks on the day of the march of the Ents?
Thus I rode real quick on the way to the camp of some friends
We were all just willing to just let things be
Really thought the Uruk-Hai won’t let us flee but

You took hold of the Deep with the King, the Brave Theoden
Made the weary horsemen of Helm’s Deep fight and defend
I have lived with Valar my entire life
But I have not seen such valor since Beleriand strife and

So we led the brave Rohirrim to Saruman
Estel no, I wouldn't have left but I did have a plan

So here I ride this morning where men showed Sauron their stance
Here within this white castle where you will have your chance
Hope orcs never find them though they truly tried
Probably the hobbits found a hole to hide and

I am now about to begin the last of my days
I'm within what eldar would call a Grey Haven phase
I myself can only say I’m westward-lead
Ridin to the Havens with a lay in my head that goes

La da da ... and Cirdan still rows…
La da da

------------------------------

[Arathorn]

Better Age
(Originally BETTER DAYS by Dianne Reeves)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Gandalf Grey stared, staff held neatly in place
Nearly four Ardic Ages of lore on his face
He was so wise, no surprise passed his eyes
He's seen it all

We left the Shire and met Aragorn
At Bree we asked questions
Of love so forlorn
But whenever, he never, would ever turn us away
No, no oh woh

I'd say “How can we be sure that Sauron’s still strong
And why does this, The One, call his Nazgul throng
Please tell me where is Gandalf
And why is he not at Bree”

I asked Gandalf “What went wrong?
When did you get out?
Where’s that slimy Stoor that I dreamt about?
I wanna know the answers before I go meet the King”
Woh hoh woh hoh

We saw men smile as we met the King
Then we looked at that old Dunedain once again
But tonight he looked slightly, remarkably
Regal somehow

Slowly the shock came with two lads so big
Merry turned and said entdraughts
Did make them grow big
Then he told me of Treebeard and Helm’s Deep
The change in the tide
Yeah yeah yeah

Pip said “All the things you ask
You will know someday
But now we have to feast and to celebrate
The Eye is gone by fate
And by fate that means The Fourth Age”

Pip said, “Frode, we all are stars in the Shire’s dark night
Ain't no Scouring’s gonna come till the time is right
Can't get no better Age lest you make it through Sharky White
You gotta make it through the White, yes you do”

”We couldn't get through no better Age
Unless you unmade the One Ring (Frodo)
Oh, hoh, now we will see that better Age
Because you were so patient
So patient, oh Frodo, so patient “

Later that year at the turn of spring
Gandalf and Eldar came and they showed me their rings
Now, we're sailin’, and wavin' and leavin'
This Better Age

And although Elanor’s grown-up
Sam still gets confused
He stumbles through the Shire
Getting bumped and bruised
When stars show him the way
He would still hear White Gandalf say
He can hear him say
He can hear him sayin'

”You can't get through no, Eldar days
Unless you make it to the West (Samwise)
Oh hoh, you will see those Eldar days
But you gotta be sailing
Sam, do you hear me, yeah
Well, well, well, well
You can't get to no, no Eldar days
Unless you make it, you got to make it
You got to make it to the West”

Oh Gandalf, oh Gandalf
Do you see him now, Maia
Oh oh oh oh oh...

-------------------------

We Are the Halflings
(Originally WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS by Queen)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

I have no clue
What lies past the Shire
I’ve followed Wizards
And men who won’t tire
And dwarves and elves
I've met a few
I've had my share of orcs
Breath in my face
But I've sneaked through
And I need to go on and on and on and on

We are the halflings, elf friend
And we'll keep on questing ‘til the end
We are the halflings
We are the halflings
Part-time ring bearers
Because we are the halflings of the world

I've seen oliphaunts
And saw Mt. Doom’s core
Quests brought me fame, though tortured
And everything that goes with it
I want no more
But it's been no breath of pipeweed no cony stew
Some consider it a disgrace before the whole hobbit race
And what else is so new
And I need to go on and on and on and on

We are the halflings, elf friend
And we'll keep on questing ‘til the end
We are the halflings
We are the halflings
Part-time ring bearers
Because we are the halflings of the world

We are the halflings, elf friend
And we'll keep on questing ‘til the end
We are the halflings
We are the halflings
Part-time ring bearers
Because we are the halflings of the world

[Arathorn]

Hobbit Leaf Delight
(Originally AFTERNOON DELIGHT by Starland Vocal Band)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Gonna find my conie, gonna stew it right
Gonna pull some taters while it is still bright
My gaffer's always sayin’ 'add some salt, just light'
Why wait until that Slinker yells that we should hide?
When Frodo’s just a little weaker in the light of day
And we know the winged wraiths always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of Bree’s workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little Hobbit leaf delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
And the thought of smoking rings is getting so exciting
2 Hobbits at night
Smokin’ rings tonight
Hobbit leaf delight
Hobbit leaf delight

Now we’re off to Mordor feeling less uptight
I always thought that fish should not be raw as Gollum bites
But we've had our fill of lembas and I think I might
Try puffing me a little Hobbit leaf delight
2 Hobbits at night
Smokin’ rings tonight
Hobbit leaf delight
Hobbit leaf delight

Please be waiting for me, Rosie, when I come back home
We will have a lot of tellin’ for the Big Red Tome

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little hobbiton delight
Smokin’ rings in pipes of cedar makes me warm inside
And the thought of weddin' you is getting so exciting
Young Samwise in flight
Smokin’ rings at night
Hobbiton delight
Hobbiton delight

Hobbiton delight!

-------------------------

Another Orc Bites the Dust
(Originally ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST by Queen)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Ooh, let's go
Dwarf walks hastily down the keep
With the elf just way out front
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
His great axe ready to go

Legolas:
Are you ready, Gim, are you ready for this
Are you hackin' all their wretched gnarled feet
Out of the causeway my arrows rip
To the sound of their screams - yeah

Gimli:
Another orc bites the dust
Another orc bites the dust
And another orc gone and another orc gone
Another orc bites the dust, eh
Hey, I'm gonna hack those too
Another orc bites the dust

Legolas:
How do you think I'm going to sail alone
Without you when I’m gone
You took me to the glitt’ring caves down south
I took you as my own

Are you counting, are you scoring high?
How far can we push defeat
Out of the doorway my arrows rip
Through their hides and their meat
Look out

Gimli:
Another orc bites the dust
Another orc bites the dust
And another orc gone and another orc gone
Another orc bites the dust, eh
Hey, I'm gonna hack those too
Another orc bites the dust

Legolas & Gimli alternating:
Hey
Oh shoot it
Bites the dust - bite the dust hey
Hey
Another orc bites the dust
Another orc bites the dust, ow
Another orc bites the dust, hey hey
Another orc bites the dust, heeey
Ooh show down

Legolas:
There are plenty of ways to hurt Saruman
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
They can eat him
You can slap him mad and leave him
When he's down, yeah
But I'm ready, yes I'm counting on you
I'm standing on my own elf feet
Out of the doorway my arrows rip
Repeating through their hides and their meat
Oh yeah

Gimli:
Another orc bites the dust
Another orc bites the dust
And another orc gone and another orc gone
Another orc bites the dust, yeah
Hey, I'm gonna hack you too
Another orc bites the dust
Shoot out
Hey, alright

-------------------------

Gwaihir On Air
(Originally BELIEVE IT OR NOT (and Theme from the series "Greatest American Hero") by Mike Post and Stephen Geyer)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Lookin’ for paths back to Bree,
I can't just flee by myself.
Suddenly I'm up on top of Mordor,
It should've been some man or elf.

Believe it or not,
There’s Gwaihir on air
I never thought I could feel so reli-e-eved.
Flying away on his wing past the lair
Who called him here?
Believe it or not I’m relieved

They say it’s dawning a new Age,
"Sauron has gone” goes the news
Calling me out were the King and some friends
Saying all that is Dark did just lose

Believe it or not,
I lost it back there
I never thought I could feel so wea-ea-eak
Fighting away on old Stoor I was scared
Then he bit me…
Believe it or not I felt weak…

[Arathorn]

Wormtongue In Chains
(Originally WOMAN IN CHAINS by Tears for Fears)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

He’s gonna fool Rohan and they’d better behave
He’s gonna fool Rohan and they’d better behave
Wormtongue in Chains
Wormtongue in Chains
Calls Orthanc the Great White Hope
Saruman taught him the ropes
Wormtongue in Chains
Wormtongue in Chains
Well I feel lying and scheming is the smart man's deal (the smart man’s deal)
And I feel hopelessly weighed down by that Palantir (that Palantir)
Well it's a land gone crazy
With Wormtongue its chains
Trades his home for leaf and words
Sells the only King he knows
Wormtongue in Chains
Wormtongue in Chains
Meduseld
Meduseld
Well I feel deep in Orthanc there is pride time can't heal (time can’t heal)
And I feel someone in Mordor is trying to see
Well you know what I mean
It's a land gone crazy
With Wormtongue its Chains
He’s under the skin of King Theoden
Tears Rohan apart but he won't understand
They will not suspect the Great Saruman
It's a land gone crazy
With Wormtongue its Chains
Eorlingas...
Eorlingas...

-------------------

Sauron Ain't So Sure (Boromir's Lament)
(Originally PALE SHELTER by Tears for Fears)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Sauron ain't so sure
Where our excursion turns incursion
Sauron ain't so sure
When will the Nine, the Ring, will find?
He asks his orb of lore
Sauron ain't so sure

Chorus:
Where will we bring the One?
There is no safe shelter
Will we use the One
To save Gondor's lands?
But I can't operate on this venture
'Til I am sure the Ring is
Completely in my hands

How can I be sure
For all the lay Gandalf is playin'
How can I be sure
When all we do is walk east, due
You talk of elven lore
How can I be sure

Chorus

I've dreamt this before
The Ring, must I, to Gondor fly
I thought you knew it all
I'm asking you, I'm begging you
I ask you, help Gondor
How can I be sure

Chorus

Will we use the One?
Will we use the One?

[Arathorn]

Gondor Man (as sung by Master Peregrin)
(Originally GUITAR MAN by Bread)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Who draws the crowd, his horn so loud, Merry, it's the Gondor man
Who's gonna steal the show, you know, Merry, it's the Gondor man
He can make you proud, he can make wargs die
He will pull you down when the wraiths are nigh
Somethin' keeps him goin' miles and miles a day
To find another orc to slay.

Night after night who guards you right, Merry, it's the Gondor man
Who halts the Harad row, you go leave it to the Gondor man
Then he comes to town and you see his face
And you think you might like to take his place
Somethin' keeps him driftin' miles and miles away
Searchin' for the orcs to slay.

Then you listen to the stories and you like to stay along
You want to get them talking about each and every throng
Then you find yourself some courage and a sword
To call your own, it won't be long.

He can aim above, oliphaunts, so high
He will pull you down when the wraiths are nigh
Somethin' keeps him guarding and Minas Tirith knows
What it is that makes him go.

Then the wight ship anchors hither and the light is getting dim
And hope begins to waver as the trolls are getting in
But he never seems to notice he's just got to find
Another orc to slay

Anyway, got to slay
Anyway, got to slay.

----------------------

Steward (Faramir's Confession)
(Originally PERFECT by Simple Plan)
Filked by Arathoron/Hector

My Lord show no fear
Think back to Boromir
Did I grow up defending Gondor's clan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time with halflings who broke the law?
But it hurts when you leave me to Mordor's throng

And now I try hard to fight it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be Steward stuff for you
I can't compete with
Boromir
And you can't make me

'Cuz we lost Gondor
New King rules forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Steward
Now he holds our fate and
I'm now a Prince
I'm sorry
I can't be Steward

I try not to think
About that pyre with me inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you ignored me
Now seem to burn away
And it feels like I can't breathe anymore

And now I try hard to fight it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be Steward stuff for you
I can't compete with
Boromir
And you can't make me

'Cuz we lost Gondor
New King rules forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Steward
Now he holds our fate and
I'm now a Prince
I'm sorry
I can't be Steward

Nothing's gonna change the curses that you said
Nothing's gonna make us rule again
Please don't burn too fast
I can't believe it's hot
I have to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost Gondor
New King rules forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Steward
Now he holds our fate and
I'm now a Prince
I'm sorry
I can't be Steward

'Cuz we lost Gondor
New King rules forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Steward
Now he holds our fate and
I'm now a Prince
I'm sorry
I can't be Steward

[Arathorn]

Stoor River
(Originally MOON RIVER by Johnny Mercer)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Stoor River, wider than a Smial...
I'm crossing to the Shire some day...
Oh Ring Bearer, you spell breaker
Wherever you're sailing, I'm sailing your way.
Two questers, off to see Mordor
There's such a lot of lore to sing.
We're after the same Dark Lord's end--
Sneakin' 'round the bend,
Our not-so-Tookish friend,
Stoor River and we.

----------------------

Fly Me To The Luhn
(Originally FLY ME TO THE MOON by Bart Howard)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

Fly me to the Luhn
Let me slay some orc and wargs
Let me see what folk are like
In Pelennorian wars

In other words, where's your land?
In other words, Gimli bring me

Will my bow be strong?
Let me aim for ever more
You are why I keep score
Goblins, Uruk-hai galore

In other words, please strike true
In other words, I'll beat you

[Tanoliel]

Whoooo!

I come back after being sick and lookie what I've got to cheer me up! Lovely prolific Bard has done it again!

*cheers and throws confetti, as per usual*

Tano

[Garina]

*Gives Arathorn a celebratory cheesecake with complimentary dwaaaaaaarvish ale*

Very impressive! I seem to have returned to a place where there are no songs left to mangle! Meh, I shall just have to remangle some.

*bows deeply to the Master Bard of Entmoot*

[Almie]

Great to see other filkers here! You may not yet know that I like filks. A lot. I also make them. My filks are usually a bit darker than the song parodies usually are. I don't know why... maybe because I like angsty characters?

Here's one example of filks I've made. And yes, it's from Frodo's point of view.


The Eagles of the West proudly presents:
Elvenhome of Rivendell
(Originally HOTEL CALIFORNIA by the Eagles)

On a dark desert riding, cold wind in my hair
Warm smell of athelas rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My heart beat slower and my sight grew dimmer
I had to reach there in time.

There they stood by the river
I heard a horrible cry
And I knew they spoke just to me
‘We’ll take you with us and then you will die’
Then I saw a light distant, and that showed me the way
There were voices all around me
I thought I heard them say...


Welcome to the Elvenhome of Rivendell
Such a lovely place, such a lovely place (such a lonely place)
Let us heal you at the Elvenhome of Rivendell
For the time is near, can you see who’s here, periannath’s here.


His grey eyes govern the valley, I feel the time stay still
And yet they are doomed to fade before the end
How they dance in the courtyard, sad elves of east
Some anxious to remain, some willing to yield

I was asked by the Council
‘Please show us the Ring’
He said, ‘We haven’t had that spirit here since brave Elendil’.
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Then you wake up in laughter and light
Just to hear them say...


Welcome to the Elvenhome of Rivendell
Such a lovely place, such a lovely place (such a lonely place)
Forget your fear at the Elvenhome of Rivendell
Even if the wise still don’t have advice for him who abides.


Nine against the shadow
Nine against the nine
And I know
We’re are all just prisoners here
of some evil might
At the Elrond’s council
They gathered for advice
Speaking of strange lands and wars
But they just can’t pay the price

Last thing I remember, you were
Standing by the door
I’ll have to bring the old tales back
For you to write a story
‘Good luck’, said the dear friend
‘We are waiting your return
You can go on as far as you must
But can you let it burn?’

[Tanoliel]

Nice! I like it a lot.

I'm going to start working on some over the break...hopefully I will have at least one done soon.

EDIT: I want to try to filk a Rocky Horror song...any ideas, anyone?

Tano

[Nerdanel]

Oh, these are outrageous!!
You really amuse us!

Arathorn , as a huge fan of Queen,
this is the best thing I've seen!

Never stop doing this!
If you do, your poetry I will miss.

Hope u get your inpiration
so we can get our satisfaction.

Love!

[Arathorn]

Nice to be back.

I've just finished this one for Christmas. I hope you enjoy it:

I Saw Elf Ships
(Originally I SAW THREE SHIPS - Traditional)
Filked by Arathorn/Hector

I saw elf ships go sailing West
From Havens Grey, from Havens Grey;
I saw elf ships go sailing West
From Havens Grey in the Fourth Age.

And who rode in those ships dear Dad,
From Havens Grey, from Havens Grey?
And who rode in those ships dear Dad,
From Havens Grey in the Fourth Age?

The Bagginses, Gandalf, but me,
Dear Elanor and Frodo-lad;
The Bagginses, Gandalf, but me,
Dear Elanor, bring the Red Book.

Pray, wither sailed those ships of elves,
From Havens Grey, from Havens Grey?
Pray, wither sailed those ships of elves,
From Havens Grey in the Fourth Age?

O they sailed west to Eldamar,
From Havens Grey, from Havens Grey;
O they sailed west to Eldamar,
From Havens Grey in the Fourth Age.

So pass all those who bore the Ring,
And so shall I, and so shall I;
So pass all those who bore the Ring,
And so shall I in the Fourth Age.

And all the Valar to Eru shall sing,
In Valinor, In Valinor;
And all the Valar to Eru shall sing,
In Valinor in Aman's shores.

And all good souls shall hail the King,
Lord Elessar, Lord Elessar;
And all good souls shall hail the King,
Lord Elessar of the Fourth Age.

Then let us all rejoice again,
On this Fourth Age, on this Fourth Age;
Then let us all rejoice again,
On this Fourth Age, fellow hobbits!

[Tanoliel]

How lovely! I can sing this one. Meriadoc Christmas to you too, Arathorn.

(I want an oliphaunt action figure...)

Tano

[Valandil]

Challenge for today: this being March 15th, can anyone do a 'Pelennor Fields Forever' or 'Pelennor Fields _____' to the tune of 'Strawberry Fields Forever'???

[Beruthiel's cat]

Okay!

Here's my five-minute first stanza (well, it took five minutes to write -- it won't take that long to sing...)

**Ahem**mi, mi, mi***

Nazgul takes you down
Orcs are coming, too
Pelennor Fields
Fighting's for real
and something to be scared about!!
Pelennor Fields forever...

I'll try to come up with something else less inane, but I think it'll take more than five minutes.

In the meantime, any other takers????

[Beruthiel's cat]

Originally posted by Beruthiel's cat

Nazgul takes you down
Orcs are coming, too
Pelennor Fields
Fighting's for real
and something to be scared about!!
Pelennor Fields forever...

Still pretty lame, but here's the rest...

Witch King will hunt you on winged beast
Not understanding what he sees,
He thinks it's just another Rider and his page
And then he gets it in the knee...

Nazgul's taken down
And those orcs are, too...
And mumakil...feeling death's chill
The Sheildmaid made short work of it...
Pelennor Fields forever
Pelennor Fields forever!

[Valandil]

Yay! Good job BC!

If you like the Beach Boys, check out my 'Numenorean Girls' on p. 62 of this thread!

[Beruthiel's cat]

Thanks, Val!

I checked out your previous post. Very funny! Great job!

[Dwarven Sen]

I thought Arathorn did it ages ago?

Sorry haven't, looked at this thread in about a year.