Fellowship of the Ringwraiths

[CrazySquirrel]

This evening, the Nine had a long-expected party.

The huge carven doors of the former dwarven city of Gundabad stood open, the bright red sign of "The Happy Orc" inn swaying merrily above . When the first wraith, who happened to be Goth, entered, all the heads turned in his direction, the huge leers on the hideous goblin faces suddenly disappearing. Several hundreds goblins felt instantly quite sober and very afraid.

[Butterbeer]

seeing at first a solitary nazgul walk through the doors was enough for the assembled Gundadbad gang ... but even ol' pointy ears the landlord (who had seen a thing or two in his time here) stood frozen jaw dropped, as one after another, almost in slow motion it appeared to the astonished drinkers, a second, a third, a fourth (who was five) and then a fifth (who was eight) nazgul sauntered imperiously in ....


the door shut with a dull creaky thud as the Nazgul stood black robed now, lit only by the flickering candles and made hazy by the smokey billows that swept the happy orc as mists on the Anduin in the morning ...

in the sudden silence someone dropped their tankard ... the sudden crash jolting all ...

"Tark-turds! " muttered Grinning Gulag, a large fighting Orc chieftan ...

"Five nazgul!"

With an explosive crash the door was thrown suddenly open and screeching an ear-jolting terrible drinking cry of " Speed and secrecy! Drink and debauchery!" Lilly made a grand entrance ...

"Six!" replyed Gulag's mate grashnut ...


Again the door opened and Gor and Khamul entered.

"the happy orc" was eeerily quiet.

Bal the evil Elf landlord quickly took down the whip from behind the bar and lashed the orcs sitting at the bar until they shrieking and shouting moved ...

"Eight" Gulag grimaced.


Suddenly with a wierd slow creak the door slowly spun open ... and Wikkie stood framed by the doorway, arm raised towards the barman ...

[CrazySquirrel]

All the assembled orcs fell face down on the stone floor. Surely His Royal Majesty the King of Angmar was the 'Ighest Up person any of the goblins ever had the chance (or the misfortune) to gawk at. Nor was it likely they would ever see anyone 'Higher, Unless the Fiery Eyeball Hisself would come rolling to their den...
The shaking landlord approached, bowing deeply...

[Butterbeer]

It seemed almost to the cowering orcs as if a shimmering crown could be seen floating above the witch king's head for a brief second ...

Wikke stood there, arm raised and pointing as the evil elf Landlord bowed before him ...

Outside suddenly thunder rumbled and rain lashed down, lightning seared the skies asunder, Wikkie's eyes blazed red in anger ...

Drums rolled in the deep...

"What the Angmarian Arse-holes happened to the Decor in this place?
Where's the old dart-board gone?" said wikkie pointing to the bar.

Moving inside the door slammed shut behind him ...

"Anyway Nine fish and chips, plenty of salt and vinegar and some mushy peas ... and bring out the nurn 79' you keep down in the cellar ... 27 bottles should be enough for starters!"




Down below in the cellar the orc band 'tark toast' were warming up. with a sudden drum roll and cymbal flourish they downed instruments and were about to come up to the bar for some fun ...

[CrazySquirrel]

"FIISH!!! Niice fiiish!" cried Lily, forgetting to preserve her dark dignity, as a true ringwraith should. "Gollm!"

Grashnut, Gulag's mate, was excited. Bending his head right down to Gulag's hairy ear, he said in a low whisper: "I sure heard the filthy shriekers were of the tark-hai themselves! And now I believe it. Eating filthy fishes!"

He had not known that the wraiths had sharp hearing...

[Butterbeer]

Grashnut suddenly shrieked jerking upright , his eyes bulging, his tongue frozen to the roof of his mouth, an arm clutching his heart

"Did you say something?" asked Wikkie?

Suddenly blood burst violently out of Grashnut's ears and with a horrible gurgling scream he collapsed.

[CrazySquirrel]

Unfortunately for them, the orc band 'tark toast' have chosen exactly that moment to come up to the bar for some fun ... Coming from a low backdoor they noticed nothing amiss at first.
"Hey, Pointy Ears", cried Gluggrag, the leader of the band, to the bewildered landlord, "Bring us some tark-steaks and beer and be quick about it!"

[Grey_Wolf]

Lily just happened to get wooden splinter in her left tit when she was banging her empty glass in the oaken table.

Eight immediately, and enthusiastically, rushed to over to assist in the removal of splinter and application of cleaning spirits.

[CrazySquirrel]

"No, no please, Eight, let it be, it doesn't hurt at all", pleaded Lily. But Eight wouldn't listen. He grabbed Lil and started his ministrations.

Suddenly Lilly's tearful whimpers were drowned in Goth's ear-splitting shriek. "Tark-steak? he roared, banging his fist right over the golden letters of "Numenore" embroidered on his chest. "I happen to be a tark... you orc swine"

Mor tugged at his sleeve. "Peace, Goth, they must not know about that...Anyway, leave that for Wikkie"

[Butterbeer]

Wikkie, happily wolfing down his very large plate of fish and chips, with his favourite mushy peas and plenty of vinegar, merely muttered " Let Goth sort it ..."

Wikkie was in fine spirits being back in his old Kingdom, his warm smile was threatening to turn into a genuine belly-laugh seeing the split second when the Orc, Gluggrag the band leader, stood there frozen to the spot, hair standing on end, the look in his eyes one of such startled astonishment... then with a jolt his now lively darting pig-like eyes suddenly taking in the Nazgul Lord Goth and then visibly paling, noticing another eight Nazgul lords....

His fellow band members, a tight-knit and staunch unit indeed were apparently gliding quietly away from him without appearing to move their feet ...

Ahhh it was good to back...


Goth menacingly moved forward very slowly ...

The orcs gathered in the 'happy orc' were all now paying interested attention.

One started a slow clap, it caught on... as Goth slowly and menacingly went forward a rousing rythmic clap swelled round the tavern ... this should be fun ...

Eight was taking a long time healing lilly, ... who appeared to even giggle ... rubbing in many ointments ...

slamming down and smashing his bottle someone stood up faster than a viper ...

SS the snake, coiled up from his position on Khamul's shoulder and followed suit hissing ... ( IT was really enjoying things .... the Cook had been suprised by the order for 9 fish and chips ... but even more suprised by the order of a plate-full of dead mice, minced up with a sprig of parsley and no rats thank-you ... he had come storming out of the kitchens jauntily waving a large blood smeared and sharp meat cleaver in his hand... had took a quick look at his clientele and gone back very quickly indeed to prepare the best goddamn mice this side of the Mountains)

someone looked angry ...

[CrazySquirrel]

Given leave to sort the problem, Goth slowly got out his Morgul blade. Fixing Gluggrag with fiery red eyes, he stalked to him, growling and licking the blade. Actually, licking the blade was one of Khamul's favourite intimidating tricks, but Goth just found it appropriate for the situation. One has to learn from one's comrades, after all... Hovering over the grey-pale orc, Gothmog started to bring the knife down, when he was interrupted by Lily's merry shriek "Gothy, dearie, do you really NEED that smelly orc hanging around you for all eternity?"
Goth saw the wisdom of it. He really didn't want the orc to become his personal wraith. Fumbling he searched in all his pockets for another weapon. When he finally found a small pocket-knife , the mood was irretrievably broken...
Goth spat on the floor, causing a steaming hole to appear, and asked "And what is your band able to play?"

[Butterbeer]

Gluggrag 'the cool' stammered some unintelligable nonsense and shaking wildly made some un-cordinated hand and arm gestures, his whole body shaking and swaying ...

"Aagh ... Goth-Punkorc-hop!" said Goth ....

Flicking the knife up in the air it glinted in the smoky burning flames of the Tavern as it spun, Goth caught it in his teeth (there was a round of applause and many banging of tankards and tables) ...

" You better be damn good tonight!"

(actually Goth was quite intrigued... goth-punkorc-hop sounded interesting!)

someone's eyes were blazing fire ...

[Grey_Wolf]

"Ok. that will do nicely." said Eight, after thoroughly enjoying the tit-massage.

"Aah, Eight, don't stop now." said Lily, giggling."I was beginning to enjoy it."

[CrazySquirrel]

Noticing the proceedings, Five's temper flared. Cursing, he approached Eight with balled fists.

Lily found she would enjoy a fine quarrel. She adored a good fight... Perhaps more fun later...

Suddenly Lily noticed that Mor was looking longingly at Viv, obviously planning to ask her for a dance. Lily grinned evilly...

Flashing her cat-green eyes at angry Mor, Lily threw down the cowl of her ragged outer robe and let her fiery red hair spill unbound over her back and shoulders. Mor, who had a pronounced weakness for readheads (not to mention green eyes), gasped audibly. Orcs gasped as well, because for them no head was visible above Lily's shoulders.

"Morrie, luv, let's dance", whispered Lilly seductively. Abandoning her outer robe, she slipped into Mor's arms.

[Grey_Wolf]

Mor grabbed Lily in his manly arms, she gasped at his forceful embrace and they sauntered out on the dance-floor.

Five, Eight, and especially Viv followed the couple with angry flaming eyes.

[Butterbeer]

Old bal the evil-elf landlord kicked Olg-arse the runt and sent him to get more bar-staff ... already nervous but hugely excited orcs were streaming to the bar ....

"Music" shouted Bal

Goth turned and noticed a wraith giggling to Eight and gasped as another wraith flirted with Mor who seemed to be hopping mad and almost fey ... yet also passionately grasping an elegant form ...

Gluggrag stumbled incoherrently to the Bar ...

a warith was flashing a peircing look at Mor ...

Wikkie, for the first time in many long years laughed so hard since he could not remember when ....


Gor leaned over to him ...
"Do you remember the Amgmarian Alto? ... that time when he came to sing at the school ...?"

[CrazySquirrel]

"What Alto?" Wikkie yawned and stretched his long legs comfortably, observing the surroundings.
Khamul sat hunched at the table, clutching his saddlebag with both hands and seemed to be lost in thoughts. Viv, Five and Eight glared at Lily and Mor. Five angrily banged his empty tankard on the table and shrieked for more wine. Gor felt tipsy. Her happiness to be back in Angmar suddenly evaporated. Goth approached and dragged her to her feet. "Would you like an orc dance?"

[Butterbeer]

Wikkie laughed again.

A fey and fun mood was creeping over the Witch King ... smiling to himself he wondered what Sau was thinking?

Gor was now dancing ... a thumping orcish beat was thumping through the happy orc .. Lilly and eight danced ... Viv and Mor were trying to out-do them ...

Wikkie glanced over at Khamul ...

[Grey_Wolf]

As the whirling dance and menacing looks shooting continued the orcband actually showed themselves to expert musicians. The middle-earth equivalent of Ginger/Fred (8 and Viv) and Gene/Kathryn (Mor and Lily) set themselves off on each other the musicians began playing a ME version of fashionable dancemusic.

[CrazySquirrel]

Wikkie sat smiling with his eyes steadily fixed on Khamul. It was making the Second wraith nervous. Soon Khamul noticed that his Captain was murmuring something under his breath. Straining his ears, Khamul caught some words "What has it got in its bag?...It wouldn’t say, no precious. It cheated first, it did. It broke the rules. We ought to have squeezed it, yes precious. And we will, precious!”...

Khamul gulped and clawed his saddlebag even tighter. Wikkie's smile widened.
"I am just remembering this wretch, Gollum", explained Wikkie amiably and turned again to watch the dance.

Khamul stumbled to his feet unsteadily. Still clutching his saddlebag, he wandered to the dancing floor and pushing Eight aside, grabbed Viv in a tight embrace for a slow dance. "Have you sssaid oughhht on the matter to the Morgul-Lord?" hissed Khamul right in Viv's ear. Unnoticed by the others, Khamul's metal-gloved hand was closing around Viv's throat tighter and tighter. .