What were they REALLY thinking?

[Nibs]

Frodo looks back in the caves of Moria, aware that they are being pursued, and thinks to himself "dang! [he feels his pockets] That monster flung my comb right out of my pocket! How am I ever going to beautify my foot hair in the morning??"

Frodo sits and readsbeside a tree, and thinks "hey... these feet... I think I'm on to something. Yes! The E.W. Foot Toupee factory, gladly capitalizing on Tolkien fans worldwide... I'm a freakin' genius..."

Gandalf facing the Balrog in Moria (where else?), thinking "Chris wanted to know if this thing had wings... curse this newfangled stage magic!"

Boromir holds the ring after Frodo drops it, thinking "Okay... I've been ogling... Viggo, interrupt my ogling! I can't ogle much longer!!" (Why is "ogling" so fun to say for me? Is it just me?)

Bilbo talking to his party guests, saying "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve", while thinking "actually, I hate the whole lot of you... I especially wish Gandalf would reconsider putting a firework in Lobelia's eye."

Legolas saying "I can feel it", while thinking "Dang! Who's calling me right now? Good thing I have it on spasm instead of ring. Is it spasm? Do cell phones go into spasms?" [he zones until an orc slaps him, because the orcs weren't allowed to touch the nine with their swords, if you couldn't tell]

My goodness! That was very much fun! I'd like to try again sometime, if you enjoy reading these as much I did writing them.