Tolkien Lover Anonymous 3, The Sil(ly)marillion

[klatukatt]

*The beeping was loud, but it was in a disused room because most people had already learned what happens when you mess with the Tolkien verse. One operative named Christie however was running down the corridor and heard the beeping. The computer was spitting out statistics like mad. Christie looked at some of the names then got a surprised look right in the face.*

Christie: KATT!

Katt: *materializing in the room beside her* Hi!

Christie: Jeez! What are you, and Igor?

Katt: It's an ambition of mine.

Christie: Well never come up behind me again. Remember what happened the last time you did that?

Katt: That was YEARS ago. I can't believe you're still freaked out about that.

Christie: It wasn't nice of you. Anyway you are in trouble.

Katt: Me?

Christie: Yes, you. Upstairs hasn't even heard about this yet.

Katt: What?

Christie: *shoves papers in her face* Look at that!

Katt: Oh. That.

Christie: I thought you said your Mary Sue days were over.

Katt: They are, that's just an alter-ego of mine.

Christie: Can't you keep her in check?

Katt: No.

Christie: But look at the mess her and her friends have made! How could they not have gotten caught before?

Katt: *meekly* They always follow the plot.

Christie: ANY self insert is a BAD self insert. Who is this Nelson? He doesn't have any record for any fanfiction whatsoever. In fact, he doesn't even exist outside this fanfic!

Katt: Ah, well, I think they created him so they could have a bad guy.

Christie: That's horrid!

Katt: Aw, give um a break. They're just actors.

Christie: I'll give you a break! Do you want me to take this Upstairs?

Katt: No! I'll handle it.

Christie: I'm going with you. You know you haven't been her long enough to go on your own.

Katt: Okay, just let's try and keep a low profile. I DON'T want Upstairs finding out.

*As the PPC prepared to descend upon the helpless little TLA, the TLA, who were not so helpless after all, had tied up a Valar named Morgoth and were now looking for a place to put him.*

Tano: Hey, how bout in Nelson's office.

*They opened the door and got a bowl of shock thrown right in their faces.*

Christina: Eww. Katt! Gross!

Tano: That is disturbing, but strangely unexpected.

Eärniel: Where did you get that spider?

*They stared at the cocooned Nelson turning green on the floor as the spider vanished in a puff of smoke.*

Katt: The spider? I, um, just borrowed him from another role play. Ahem.

Maggie: Are you feeling all right? This really isn't like you.

RYM: Yeah. I mean, white and sticky is one thing--

Glor: BUT! Um, we just thought we'd find you...

Tano: um...

Morgoth: Knee deep in physical contact? That is more her style.

Katt: Eh. I wasn't inspired.

*Just then they heard footsteps coming down the hall.*

Christina: YAY! It's the Valar! We're in here!

Tano: And you'll be SOOOOOO proud of us when you see what we've done!

*The door opened once more.*

Eärniel: Those don't look like Valar, guys.

*CUT TO COMMERCIAL*