Wilkie Collins

[Rían]

Wilkie Collins - what a name! A friend of Dickens, and the writer of two great books (IMHO) - The Moonstone, and The Woman in White.

Has anyone read these books?

I just reread WIW and it kept me up late again, even tho I've read it several times. I'm almost done with a reread of TM, and one of my favorite characters in literature is in that book - Betteredge, trusted steward of the house of Lady Verinder.

Both books are in the form of a collection of first-hand descriptions of events that go towards solving a mystery. In each book, a man that loves a woman that is involved, and hurt, by a mystery helps to solve it, and the book is supposedly written to explain how it happened from the viewpoint of those involved. Betteredge is in TM, and is called upon by Mr. Franklin Blake to write an account of the parts that he was involved in, and he is just such a wonderful character, and really funny. I thought I'd put in some of the funny/observant things he says for your enjoyment and hopefully to tempt you guys to read the books!

(describing his marriage) : "We were not a happy couple, and not a miserable couple. We were six of one and half a dozen of the other. How it was I don't understand, but we always seemed to be getting, with the best of motives, in one another's way. When I wanted to go upstairs, there was my wife coming down; or when my wife wanted to go down, there was I coming up. That is married life, according to my experience of it. After five years of misunderstandings on the stairs, it pleased an all-wise Providence to relieve us of each other by taking my wife."

(describing Franklin Blake) : "He was, out of all sight (as I remembered him), the nicest boy that ever spun a top or broke a window. Miss Rachel, who was present, and to whom I made that remark, observed, in return, that she remembered him as the most atrocious tyrant that ever tortured a doll, and the hardest driver of an exhausted little girl in string harness that England could produce. 'I burn with indignation, and I ache with fatigue,' was the way Miss Rachel summed it up, 'when I think of Franklin Blake.' "

(wanting a rest after getting the house ready for Mr. Blake) : " ... I fetched up some of our famous Latour claret, and set it in the warm summer air to take off the chill before dinner. Concluding to set myself in the warm summer air next - seeing that was is good for old claret is equally good for old age - I took up my beehive chair to go out into the back court ..."

(on his wife) : "She was more like a fly than a woman; she couldn't settle on anything."

(on Mr. Blake's conflicting educations in different countries) : "It is one of my rules in life, never to notice what I don't understand. I steered a middle course between the Objective side and the Subjective side. In plain English, I stared hard, and said nothing."

(describing the after-dinner entertainment) : "The footman's report was, that the preservation of a respectful composure in the presence of his betters, and the waiting on Mr. Franklin Blake at dinner, were two of the hardest things to reconcile with each other that had ever tried his training in service. Later in the evening, we heard them singing and playing duets, Mr. Franklin piping high, Miss Rachel piping higher, and my lady, on the piano, following them, as it were over hedge and ditch, and seeing them safe through it in a manner most wonderful and pleasant to hear through the open windows, on the terrace at night."

(describing some contradictions that Miss Rachel had) : "Perhaps you think you see a certain contradiction here? In that case, a word in your ear. Study your wife closely, for the next four-and-twenty hours. If your good lady doesn't exhibit something in the shape of a contradiction in that time, Heaven help you! - you have married a monster."

(on his daughter's exuberance) : "Here I should have protested again. But my daughter had got the hairbrush by this time, and the whole strength of her feelings had passed into that. If you are bald, you will understand how she scarified me. If you are not, skip this bit, and thank God you have got something in the way of a defence between your hairbrush and your head."

And I'm still looking for the one where he says he's constitutionally superior to reason ...