Tolkien Lover Anonymous 3, The Sil(ly)marillion

[Earniel]

*Suddenly Eärniel comes running back to the rest of the TLA. A giant mass of jumping amphibian creatures follows right behind her. Their croaking and 'nibbit, nibbit' fill the air. Varda shrieks and jumps into Manwë's arms.*

Eärniel: Hey guys, look wat I made!

*She stops in front of the rest. The little army settles at her feet.*

Manwë: What... what are those?

Eärniel: *beams proudly* Frogs! Cute, no?

Varda: They're slimy.

Eärniel: *insulted* So's your underwear!

TC: It is? Say Varda, do Valar actually even wear underwear?

Varda: Don't you start again!

*Unnoticed Melkor sneaks behind Eärniel and gives all her frogs bulging eyes and then runs away laughing.*

Eärniel: *whines* No! Mel-ko-ooor! That's not funny! *picks up frog* Poor thing. Mm... it doesn't look so bad. In fact now that I think of it, it's rather cute...

Melkor: Dang!

Manwë: Um... could you um... send those um... creatures away? My arms are getting stiff and Varda isn't the lightest of persons.

*Eärniel claps her hands and the little creatures jump away to ponds and rivers. Varda gets out of Manwë's arms and slaps him for good measure since he insulted her weight and then storms off.*

Manwë: *sigh* Women....