Funny messages

Aeryn · 11-22-2002, 08:50 PM

Okay, does anyone else like funny messages? No? To bad.

If you (reader) have heard any funny answering machine messages. Have read any funny notes left for you (or not), and any other messages in any other way of communication, and would like to share, please post here. Thank you!.

~~~~~~
(From Japanese friend): He-lo! This is Sa-to, If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave "sexy" message I call sooner!

(College friend)A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

Hi... Now you say something.

~~~~~~~~
HEEEEEEEEEERE IT IS! I know you have been waiting for my next thread...here it is...as I said

Bye!

Humming bird · 11-22-2002, 08:57 PM

That Japanese one is funny!

Okay this is my actual message on my answering machine.

Hello. This is Kerri's answering machine, Daniel, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.

Shadowfax · 11-22-2002, 09:19 PM

One of my friends does the FUNNIEST messages on her machine! One time she put Phantom of the Opera music on in the background and spoke in this dracula accent or whatever, it was creepy! And another time she had classical music on and she was like in theis British accent, "Hello, you have reached the residence of Johann Sabastian Bach..." can't remeber the rest, any way, it was funny. Yeah.

Elven Archer · 11-22-2002, 11:53 PM

My aunt had a funny one, i can't remember exactly how it went but it was something like , Hi, we're not here right now, if it's important leave a message,if WE think it's important we'll call you. or something like that, but it was funny. My brother and my sister go to the same college and so they got an apt. together but since my sisters a teacher she doesn't want to have a funny message but here's one of many my brother was gonna put on there...
*in a game show host voice* Heelloo and Congratulations! YOu've just won the chance to leave me a message for Philip *********! If we like your message you coouuld win the faabulous prize of getting a call form me!
or something like that, the way he said it was a lot funnier. My cousin used to have one like this......
Hello? *pause* Oh hey! what's goin' on?*pause* yep...uh huh*pause*(continues on like your talking to her untill you realize it's a message.) it wasn't quite like that but it was like you were talking to her until it goes beeep.
a funny one someone left my brother was something like this.... Hi this is matt just calling to talk to matt. *laughter* we have the same name it's like hey this is matt and i'm calling to talk to matt *more laughs* i guess when matt calls me hell have to ask for matt. hahhaha.
or something like that, it was funnier if you heard it and knew the guy. all these are funnier than i can type them.

Duddun · 11-23-2002, 12:16 AM

One time my sister, Corey called her friend Torrey.
She accidently asked for corey and the brother of her friend got really confused and told her she had the wrong number and hung up.(I was eavesdropping on the other phone)HEHE!

Celandine · 11-23-2002, 09:07 PM

Corey and Torrey, they rime. HAHAHAHAHA

Duddun · 11-23-2002, 09:20 PM

Thats why my sister made the mistake.

***IronParrot*** · 11-24-2002, 12:03 AM

Quote:

"Hello. This is Kerri's answering machine, Daniel, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding."

Whoa, it's like Marvin!

***Khamûl*** · 11-24-2002, 03:00 AM

One time, one of my friends had one like Elven Archer's, except he had really loud music playing in the background. At the end, he was like "Oh hey, now I can hear you and I'm not home. Leave a message." He said that a lot of people got mad and didn't leave messages.

Aeryn · 11-25-2002, 10:59 PM

This is just wrong.

Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right....real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

And Iron Parrot, I believe it IS supposed to be a Marvin impression. Just a guess.

Ma Uai: Ua Nemti · 11-25-2002, 11:25 PM

Hello, Smith residence. (pause) Hi! How are you? (pause) Actually you know what? (pause) we're not home right now. You can just leave a message after the beep.

Kinda lame but i thought it was funny.

Aeryn · 11-25-2002, 11:34 PM

Lol, I've heard alot of variations of that. It is funny, there are some real terrible ones like...

(Recorded off of phone sex coversation): Hi I'm Linda, it is so hard being a single beautiful model...(you from far-off) Damn Linda gimme the phone (directly in phone) Hey Leave a message.

(Note I do not have this particular message)

Or,

Speak Worm! (Darth Vater voice)

Ma Uai: Ua Nemti · 11-25-2002, 11:36 PM

Hehe! "Speak worm!" That's funny.

Claenoic · 11-26-2002, 02:14 PM

I have one that is extremely juvenile... which is why I like it

.

You have just called the FBI screening number. Please wait while we scan your physical attributes *make funny noises* You have one message. *Make a high pitched beep* Anderson, listen to me! This is Bryce, you - Oh no! The Beep! I don't have much time, you ha- *beep*

Here's another which I find amusing.

HSSSSS!!! WHY HAS IT CALLED GOLLUM!?!?!?! DOES IT HAVE FISSSSHHHH!?!?!?!?! DOES IT HAVE PRECIOUSSSS?!?!?!? DOES IT KNOW WHERE BAGGINSES ARE!?!?!?!

Silverstripe · 11-26-2002, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Claenoic

Here's another which I find amusing.

HSSSSS!!! WHY HAS IT CALLED GOLLUM!?!?!?! DOES IT HAVE FISSSSHHHH!?!?!?!?! DOES IT HAVE PRECIOUSSSS?!?!?!? DOES IT KNOW WHERE BAGGINSES ARE!?!?!?!

LOL! Wonder what happened if a telemarketer called or some poor person just got a wrong number!

Eruviel Greenleaf · 11-28-2002, 06:55 AM

mine currently is something like:

hi, you've reached liz. she is currently taking over the world, but she will get back to you as soon as she is ruling earth.

if you are trying to reach the ravenna weasel farm, they cannot ship weasels to you at this time. and...you have the wrong number anyway.

***
Tanoliel thought of that one

i think i'm going to change it soon, though. do something darth vader-ish.

i like the gollum one

***Khamûl*** · 11-29-2002, 02:02 AM

When I get an answering machine, the message on it will probably be like my avatar -- changing all the time.

Duddun · 11-29-2002, 12:10 PM

I know someone who just changes his if he goes somewhere. Like if he goes to the grocery store it would be this:Hello, I am at the grocery store, please call later*beep*
And when hes there it's:Hello, Im here I just don't feel like talking to you, you can talk to me if you talk after the beep, but I won't talk back.*beep*

Smaug · 11-29-2002, 11:58 PM

Hi, you've reached Scotty

If you have a legitimate reason for calling me, please leave a message after the tone.

If you're a telemarketer, GO EAT A FLAMING BAG OF HELL!

-Scotty

...I used to hate telemarketers so badly that if I posted how badly, I would probably get kicked out of the 'moot for language that would make a Balrog put its wings over its ears and hide in a corner... Thank God for Verizon's Call Intercept. For $5 a month, I don't have to put up with 10-20 telemarketer calls a day anymore...

Duddun · 11-30-2002, 12:08 AM

I don't hate telemarketers but they do get annoying especially the ones that talk really fast.

11-22-2002, 08:50 PM	#1
Aeryn Bank'ress of Sith Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In a hot-hot place, heh Posts: 913	Funny messages Okay, does anyone else like funny messages? No? To bad. If you (reader) have heard any funny answering machine messages. Have read any funny notes left for you (or not), and any other messages in any other way of communication, and would like to share, please post here. Thank you!. ~~~~~~ (From Japanese friend): He-lo! This is Sa-to, If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave "sexy" message I call sooner! (College friend)A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Hi... Now you say something. ~~~~~~~~ HEEEEEEEEEERE IT IS! I know you have been waiting for my next thread...here it is...as I said Bye! __________________ my new account name feigndeath. This one is deactivated, I think.

11-22-2002, 08:57 PM	#2
Humming bird Sapling Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 13	That Japanese one is funny! Okay this is my actual message on my answering machine. Hello. This is Kerri's answering machine, Daniel, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding. __________________ Where are we going, From where we have been? How will we get there? And do you know when? Paths that are travelled And paths that are sought. Great expectations, Are sometimes for nought. Goals that we set, And prices are paid. Love that may flower, And flowers that fade. It seems to me sometimes, That sought after things. Are sometimes best left As matters for dreams

11-22-2002, 09:19 PM	#3
Shadowfax The Fleet-Footed Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: British Columbia Posts: 913	One of my friends does the FUNNIEST messages on her machine! One time she put Phantom of the Opera music on in the background and spoke in this dracula accent or whatever, it was creepy! And another time she had classical music on and she was like in theis British accent, "Hello, you have reached the residence of Johann Sabastian Bach..." can't remeber the rest, any way, it was funny. Yeah. __________________ Jesus saved me "To remain ignorant of things that happened before you were born is to remain a child" (Cicero, 106-43 B.C.) "Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth" (Picasso)

11-22-2002, 11:53 PM	#4
Elven Archer Elven Warrior Join Date: May 2002 Location: America! Posts: 480	My aunt had a funny one, i can't remember exactly how it went but it was something like , Hi, we're not here right now, if it's important leave a message,if WE think it's important we'll call you. or something like that, but it was funny. My brother and my sister go to the same college and so they got an apt. together but since my sisters a teacher she doesn't want to have a funny message but here's one of many my brother was gonna put on there... in a game show host voice Heelloo and Congratulations! YOu've just won the chance to leave me a message for Philip ********! If we like your message you coouuld win the faabulous prize of getting a call form me! or something like that, the way he said it was a lot funnier. My cousin used to have one like this...... Hello? pause* Oh hey! what's goin' on?pause yep...uh huhpause(continues on like your talking to her untill you realize it's a message.) it wasn't quite like that but it was like you were talking to her until it goes beeep. a funny one someone left my brother was something like this.... Hi this is matt just calling to talk to matt. laughter we have the same name it's like hey this is matt and i'm calling to talk to matt more laughs i guess when matt calls me hell have to ask for matt. hahhaha. or something like that, it was funnier if you heard it and knew the guy. all these are funnier than i can type them. __________________ "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: 'it goes on'." ~robert frost

11-23-2002, 12:16 AM	#5
Duddun I Antha Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: You expect ME to know? Posts: 784	One time my sister, Corey called her friend Torrey. She accidently asked for corey and the brother of her friend got really confused and told her she had the wrong number and hung up.(I was eavesdropping on the other phone)HEHE! __________________ If you say my name I go "What?" If you say my name twice I go and look it up in the dictionary. **************************** I'm Not Evil! ************************** If the critics say it's good, is it really That good? ************************** It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's a balloon! **************************** Duddun, Son of Bubbun

11-23-2002, 09:07 PM	#6
Celandine Elven Warrior Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 168	Corey and Torrey, they rime. HAHAHAHAHA __________________ If you look in a mirror it surely would crack My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone You can do it a trot, you can do it at a gallop, you can do it at a rate so your heart don't palpatate, just don't be late, do the PUYALLUP and in the morning i'm makin' WAFFLES We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz. Because, because, because, because, BECAUSE of the wonderful things he does. I am a banana. All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel, the monkey thought it was all in fun, POP goes the weasel Do you think Chelsey's smart? Texaco, star of the American Road! You can trust your car with the man who wears the star at the big bright texaco star!! TEXACO FOREVER!!! It's texaco.com http://www.texaco.com/texaco/

11-23-2002, 09:20 PM	#7
Duddun I Antha Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: You expect ME to know? Posts: 784	Thats why my sister made the mistake. __________________ If you say my name I go "What?" If you say my name twice I go and look it up in the dictionary. **************************** I'm Not Evil! ************************** If the critics say it's good, is it really That good? ************************** It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's a balloon! **************************** Duddun, Son of Bubbun

11-24-2002, 03:00 AM	#9
*Khamûl* Slacker Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,759	One time, one of my friends had one like Elven Archer's, except he had really loud music playing in the background. At the end, he was like "Oh hey, now I can hear you and I'm not home. Leave a message." He said that a lot of people got mad and didn't leave messages. __________________ "If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31

11-25-2002, 10:59 PM	#10
Aeryn Bank'ress of Sith Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In a hot-hot place, heh Posts: 913	This is just wrong. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right....real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you. And Iron Parrot, I believe it IS supposed to be a Marvin impression. Just a guess. __________________ my new account name feigndeath. This one is deactivated, I think.

11-25-2002, 11:25 PM	#11
Ma Uai: Ua Nemti Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: We'd tell you but you're all out to get us. Posts: 215	Hello, Smith residence. (pause) Hi! How are you? (pause) Actually you know what? (pause) we're not home right now. You can just leave a message after the beep. Kinda lame but i thought it was funny. __________________ Pharoah "Vires decusque."

11-25-2002, 11:34 PM	#12
Aeryn Bank'ress of Sith Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In a hot-hot place, heh Posts: 913	Lol, I've heard alot of variations of that. It is funny, there are some real terrible ones like... (Recorded off of phone sex coversation): Hi I'm Linda, it is so hard being a single beautiful model...(you from far-off) Damn Linda gimme the phone (directly in phone) Hey Leave a message. (Note I do not have this particular message) Or, Speak Worm! (Darth Vater voice) __________________ my new account name feigndeath. This one is deactivated, I think.

11-25-2002, 11:36 PM	#13
Ma Uai: Ua Nemti Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: We'd tell you but you're all out to get us. Posts: 215	Hehe! "Speak worm!" That's funny. __________________ Pharoah "Vires decusque."

11-26-2002, 02:14 PM	#14
Claenoic Queen of Prolonged, Unexplained Absences Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Texas. 'Nuff said. Posts: 556	I have one that is extremely juvenile... which is why I like it . You have just called the FBI screening number. Please wait while we scan your physical attributes make funny noises You have one message. Make a high pitched beep Anderson, listen to me! This is Bryce, you - Oh no! The Beep! I don't have much time, you ha- beep Here's another which I find amusing. HSSSSS!!! WHY HAS IT CALLED GOLLUM!?!?!?! DOES IT HAVE FISSSSHHHH!?!?!?!?! DOES IT HAVE PRECIOUSSSS?!?!?!? DOES IT KNOW WHERE BAGGINSES ARE!?!?!?! __________________ Very Biased Alternate Script (but it's funny!):Click here! FREAK RAIN!!!!!!!! O.o Queen of prolonged unexplained absences and long, loooong car rides. Well, hullo everyone. As you can see, I don't hang out here muchly anymore. There's a good reason for this. Y'see, I've been hanging out at a different chatboard called Cardboardia. So far, I've been havin' a blast. Not that I don't love the TLA, but the magic of Entmoot is lost on me. So, as soon as TLA ends, so will my existance here, probably. Who knows though? I might stay. Highly unlikely however. This is a good bye in advance, then. Unless you want to join me and my group of friends at Cardboardia. Cheers! Last edited by Claenoic : 11-26-2002 at 02:18 PM.

11-28-2002, 06:55 AM	#16
Eruviel Greenleaf Alcoholic Villain-Fancying Elf Pirate Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lyonesse Posts: 4,547	mine currently is something like: hi, you've reached liz. she is currently taking over the world, but she will get back to you as soon as she is ruling earth. if you are trying to reach the ravenna weasel farm, they cannot ship weasels to you at this time. and...you have the wrong number anyway. *** Tanoliel thought of that one i think i'm going to change it soon, though. do something darth vader-ish. i like the gollum one __________________ Eruviel Greenleaf in a past life. "Whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world." -The Gospel of Thomas SQUAWK!

11-29-2002, 02:02 AM	#17
*Khamûl* Slacker Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,759	When I get an answering machine, the message on it will probably be like my avatar -- changing all the time. __________________ "If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31

11-29-2002, 12:10 PM	#18
Duddun I Antha Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: You expect ME to know? Posts: 784	I know someone who just changes his if he goes somewhere. Like if he goes to the grocery store it would be this:Hello, I am at the grocery store, please call laterbeep And when hes there it's:Hello, Im here I just don't feel like talking to you, you can talk to me if you talk after the beep, but I won't talk back.beep __________________ If you say my name I go "What?" If you say my name twice I go and look it up in the dictionary. **************************** I'm Not Evil! ************************** If the critics say it's good, is it really That good? ************************** It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's a balloon! **************************** Duddun, Son of Bubbun

11-29-2002, 11:58 PM	#19
Smaug Enting Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: New England Posts: 70	Hi, you've reached Scotty If you have a legitimate reason for calling me, please leave a message after the tone. If you're a telemarketer, GO EAT A FLAMING BAG OF HELL! -Scotty ...I used to hate telemarketers so badly that if I posted how badly, I would probably get kicked out of the 'moot for language that would make a Balrog put its wings over its ears and hide in a corner... Thank God for Verizon's Call Intercept. For $5 a month, I don't have to put up with 10-20 telemarketer calls a day anymore...

11-30-2002, 12:08 AM	#20
Duddun I Antha Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: You expect ME to know? Posts: 784	I don't hate telemarketers but they do get annoying especially the ones that talk really fast. __________________ If you say my name I go "What?" If you say my name twice I go and look it up in the dictionary. **************************** I'm Not Evil! ************************** If the critics say it's good, is it really That good? ************************** It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's a balloon! **************************** Duddun, Son of Bubbun

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