New Rules For A Healthy Living At Christmas!

Grey_Wolf · 06-12-2004, 07:23 AM

We are flooded by advice how to live a healthy life fifty weeks of the year. But for Christmas even the most zelous healthfanatatics are generous. Of the most outspoken we find the new company Health Guard who sell computor health programs and lists the following "Rules for calorie-intake at Christmas":

1. What you eat when no one sees isn't calories.

2. If you drink a "light" drink with the chocolatebar the chocolatecalories are neutralized.

3. When you're having dinner with other people the calories which is surplus to the amount of calories that they consume are only ones that count.

4. Food that you eat for medicinal purposes (such as warm coco, red wine and cognac) doesn't count.

5. The more you feed your friends the thinner you will seem.

6. Snacks such popcorn, peanuts, sodas and candy which is eaten in front of the TV does not contain any calories since they are not taken in as food and are part of the entertaintment.

7. If you break the cakes into small pieces and eat them, the calories are vaporized.

8. Everything that is licked from knives and spoons during cooking does not contain any calories since the licking is a part of the cooking procedure.

9. Food in the same colour contains the same amount of calories(such as a yellow apple and cheesecake, tomatoes and strawberry jam).

10. Frozen food does not contain calories because the term calories is a term of heat.

(taken from funny a page of a Swedish daily newspaper)

Elvengirl · 06-12-2004, 07:44 AM

lol Grey Wolf

Remember stressed spelled backwards is desserts and we all know how stressful the holidays can be

Janny · 06-12-2004, 11:18 AM

How seasonal!

And all these greta scientific facts never knew...

cee2lee2 · 06-12-2004, 07:17 PM

Thanks, Grey Wolf! These sound like rules I could follow.

ArwenEvenstar · 06-12-2004, 07:53 PM

heh, maybe if I follow those rules I might lose weight itstead of gaining it . . .

Nerdanel · 06-13-2004, 04:02 PM

Thank you, oh Grey_Wolf!

I finally got my ideas confirmed!

sun-star · 06-13-2004, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Grey_Wolf
5. The more you feed your friends the thinner you will seem.

That's my favourite

Grey_Wolf · 11-15-2006, 04:00 AM

Just in time for the Great Eating Holiday - here cometh the Greate Liste o' Wondrous Facts!

**Nurvingiel** · 11-17-2006, 06:31 PM

Awesome list GW.

I'd like to add to it...

If the food is high in nutrition or other health benefits (such as turkey, red wine, etc.), this overrides any calories it may contain.

If you have to shovel the sidewalk before a meal, you can eat whatever you want at said meal, as you need to replentish energy expended.

*shifty shifty*

edit:

Quote:

10. Frozen food does not contain calories because the term calories is a term of heat.

This means you'd have to eat it frozen though. Bleaugh!

However this means ice cream has no calories.

Grey_Wolf · 11-18-2006, 04:33 AM

Thanks, Nurv!

Grey_Wolf · 12-02-2007, 07:14 AM

Its that time of the year again. Read and enjoy!

**Mari** · 12-02-2007, 07:30 AM

number 5 is genius! I don't eat that much more during Christmas, but I'll make sure to remember, in case this year is going to be different.

cee2lee2 · 12-02-2007, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grey_Wolf

Its that time of the year again. Read and enjoy!

Thanks for the reminder!

katya · 12-03-2007, 11:09 AM

Indeed Greywolf, thanks for the reminder.

These rules are pretty much common sense though

Grey_Wolf · 12-03-2007, 11:27 AM

yw mooter friends!

inked · 12-03-2007, 11:51 AM

Well, those are excellent ideas, GW. Very true. They should have added that there is a seasonal gravitational effect on weighing scales such that the angle of tilt of the earth away from the sun when it is at perigee causes elevated numbers to appear on all scale readouts!

By the way, folks in the US apparently can feel bether about their mental health if they are self-identified Republicans:
http://www.gallup.com/poll/102943/Re...-Others.aspx#2

I wonder, does this mean they get extra-mileage from your rules? Should I become a Republican? Hmmmm. Tough choice. I do like my Independent status very much. Perhaps it is because I'm a 'Mooter that I am so wonderfully mentally balanced and happy and all that other stuff in the survey?

May all the calories you eat during the winter solstice fly by gravitation to the sun!

Grey_Wolf · 12-03-2007, 01:30 PM

great post, inked!

strider8 · 12-05-2007, 04:59 PM

Some food rules I can finally follow

I don't need to use the rule 5

No I'm just joking *cough*

Grey_Wolf · 12-03-2008, 01:01 AM

So, we're here at this time of the year again - and I thought this an excellent op to revive this list of truly scientific facts.

***Varnafindë*** · 12-03-2008, 11:41 AM

And they are so logical, too - you can see why they must be true.

06-12-2004, 07:23 AM	#1
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	New Rules For A Healthy Living At Christmas! We are flooded by advice how to live a healthy life fifty weeks of the year. But for Christmas even the most zelous healthfanatatics are generous. Of the most outspoken we find the new company Health Guard who sell computor health programs and lists the following "Rules for calorie-intake at Christmas": 1. What you eat when no one sees isn't calories. 2. If you drink a "light" drink with the chocolatebar the chocolatecalories are neutralized. 3. When you're having dinner with other people the calories which is surplus to the amount of calories that they consume are only ones that count. 4. Food that you eat for medicinal purposes (such as warm coco, red wine and cognac) doesn't count. 5. The more you feed your friends the thinner you will seem. 6. Snacks such popcorn, peanuts, sodas and candy which is eaten in front of the TV does not contain any calories since they are not taken in as food and are part of the entertaintment. 7. If you break the cakes into small pieces and eat them, the calories are vaporized. 8. Everything that is licked from knives and spoons during cooking does not contain any calories since the licking is a part of the cooking procedure. 9. Food in the same colour contains the same amount of calories(such as a yellow apple and cheesecake, tomatoes and strawberry jam). 10. Frozen food does not contain calories because the term calories is a term of heat. (taken from funny a page of a Swedish daily newspaper) Last edited by Grey_Wolf : 06-12-2004 at 11:22 AM.

06-12-2004, 11:18 AM	#3
Janny The Blobbit Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...) Posts: 1,596	How seasonal! And all these greta scientific facts never knew... __________________ Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton.

06-12-2004, 07:53 PM	#5
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	heh, maybe if I follow those rules I might lose weight itstead of gaining it . . . __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination!

06-13-2004, 04:02 PM	#6
Nerdanel Spammer of the Happy Thread Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Helsinki, Finland Posts: 3,512	Thank you, oh Grey_Wolf! I finally got my ideas confirmed! __________________ "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. " - C. Sagan My (photography) website My Flickr page

12-02-2007, 07:30 AM	#12
Mari Elf Lady Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the lands where mountains are but a fairytale Posts: 8,588	number 5 is genius! I don't eat that much more during Christmas, but I'll make sure to remember, in case this year is going to be different. __________________ Love always, deeply and true ★ Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. ★ Friendship is sharing openly, laughing often, trusting always, caring deeply. ...The Earth laughs in flowers ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"...

06-12-2004, 07:44 AM	#2
Elvengirl Mirthful Maiden Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Rivendell Posts: 1,252	lol Grey Wolf Remember stressed spelled backwards is desserts and we all know how stressful the holidays can be __________________ The Elves represent, as it were, the artistic, aesthetic, and purely scientific aspects of the Humane nature raised to a higher level than is actually seen in Men.~ J.R.R. Tolkien Wanna play? www.thievesguild.com

06-12-2004, 07:17 PM	#4
cee2lee2 Elf Lord Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: 2nd star to the left..... Posts: 566	Thanks, Grey Wolf! These sound like rules I could follow.

11-15-2006, 04:00 AM	#8
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	Just in time for the Great Eating Holiday - here cometh the Greate Liste o' Wondrous Facts!

11-18-2006, 04:33 AM	#10
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	Thanks, Nurv!

12-02-2007, 07:14 AM	#11
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	Its that time of the year again. Read and enjoy!

12-03-2007, 11:09 AM	#14
katya Elven Maiden Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 3,309	Indeed Greywolf, thanks for the reminder. These rules are pretty much common sense though

12-03-2007, 11:27 AM	#15
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	yw mooter friends!

12-03-2007, 11:51 AM	#16
inked Elf Lord Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: sikeston, MO, usa, earth, sol Posts: 3,114	Well, those are excellent ideas, GW. Very true. They should have added that there is a seasonal gravitational effect on weighing scales such that the angle of tilt of the earth away from the sun when it is at perigee causes elevated numbers to appear on all scale readouts! By the way, folks in the US apparently can feel bether about their mental health if they are self-identified Republicans: http://www.gallup.com/poll/102943/Re...-Others.aspx#2 I wonder, does this mean they get extra-mileage from your rules? Should I become a Republican? Hmmmm. Tough choice. I do like my Independent status very much. Perhaps it is because I'm a 'Mooter that I am so wonderfully mentally balanced and happy and all that other stuff in the survey? May all the calories you eat during the winter solstice fly by gravitation to the sun! __________________ Inked "Aslan is not a tame lion." CSL/LWW "The new school [acts] as if it required...courage to say a blasphemy. There is only one thing that requires real courage to say, and that is a truism." GK Chesterton "And there is always the danger of allowing people to suppose that our modern times are so wholly unlike any other times that the fundamental facts about man's nature have wholly changed with changing circumstances." Dorothy L. Sayers, 1 Sept. 1941

12-03-2007, 01:30 PM	#17
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	great post, inked!

12-05-2007, 04:59 PM	#18
strider8 Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: In a spaceship, floating in your puny planet's atmosphere, awaiting orders to invade Posts: 292	Some food rules I can finally follow I don't need to use the rule 5 No I'm just joking cough __________________ The axes hewed Forlong as he fought alone and unhorsed; and both Duilin of Morthond and his brother were trampled to death when they assailed the mumakil,leading their bowmen close to shoot at the eyes of the monsters. Neither Hirluin the fair would return to Pinnath Gelin, nor Grimbold to Grimslade, nor Halbarad to the northlands,dour-handed Ranger. Those that would not return home, page830-831, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields, The Return of the King

12-03-2008, 01:01 AM	#19
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	So, we're here at this time of the year again - and I thought this an excellent op to revive this list of truly scientific facts.

12-03-2008, 11:41 AM	#20
*Varnafindë* Princess of the Noldor (and Administrative Empress of the Lone Islands) Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Imladris (and sometimes Norway) Posts: 3,304	And they are so logical, too - you can see why they must be true. __________________ Signature picture art - Bard the Bowman - by vigshane Avatar art - Footsteps of Spring (a young Luthien) - by Henning Janssen

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