And then.... [you decide]

[katya]

When I'm waiting for something to download or for someone to return on MSN, etc., I started writing this dumb story. I finished the introduction, but I'm not actually sure what the rest of the story is going to be yet. I'm going to post the introduction now, and I'd like to see your suggestions on what happens next. You can keep any of the settings/characters or move to a new part of the world. The only thing that stays the same for sure is that the last line, spoken by "the figure", is true. If I like any of your suggestions, maybe I'll alter them and finish the story, or I'm always open to doing it as partners. Anyways...(not a word.^^, ) here's the story so far. It's called "Shimmer", a name I came up with before I started writing it, so try to incorporate that please and thank you.

Shimmer

"So," he said, looking crookedly at his companion, "You wanna get outta here?"

"Yeah," she replied. She took one last sip of her drink, and paid without a word.

As they stepped outside of the club, the night air stroked his cheek. His features were delicate, almost feminine; however. his eyes gleamed like cold steel. He reached into the pocket of his black jacket and pulled out a cigarette. Lighting it in silence, he motioned the girl to follow him as he started down the pavement.

The rays of the full moon, breaking through the clouds, gently bathed the city. It was a calm, beautiful evening, the cheap beauty of a sunny afternoon exchanged for intensely fragile gracefulness. The two's footsteps echoed through the empty streets.

The young man walked in a hurry, anxious to arrive at his destination. One could sense his cool passion, and the annoyance at a world that impeded him at every step. However, it would not pass when he did arrive. The girl struggled to keep up, plodding along in high heels.

"Hey, take it easy, baby," she said.

He rolled his eyes. "What?" His voice sounded irritated.

"You want me to break my ankle or something? What's the rush, anyway? Aren't we just heading back to your place?"

What was she doing in those shoes anyway? It seemed to him that she was just giving him one more thing to worry about. He wondered if she was in pain, and the thought pricked at his heart. His worry manifested itself in his voice as anger.

"Whatever," he said, and nothing more.

She looked at him sadly. Her eyes seemed to call out to him- "I'm sorry, I'm such a burden. I guess I shouldn't be with you after all. So, sorry." Sadness filled her chest and she failed to notice the slowing of his pace.

Suddenly the concern he was feeling was replaced with fear and alarm. There, in the empty street, was a pool of blood. From the looks of it, a car had hit something, and then driven off in a hurry. However, there was no sign of any body- only the blood, which gave off an eery glow.

"Baby," said the woman in a voice full of terror, "what the hell is this?"

He was silent and simply stared, uncharacteristically shaken up.

A figure in black crept out from an alley. The man readied himself for a fight, but the figure just stopped and looked at the couple.

"Don't worry yourself about me," it said, slowly. "I'm not the one you need to worry about. But I'll tell you what was killed in the middle of the street tonight. It was an angel."

[end]

Note: [feel free to ignore this part] believe it or not, this is sort of reality inspired. I was driving along the highway and there was this blood on the road. Of course, it had probably been a deer or something, but my first thought was "Christ! Someone got hit by a car! Sick!" Then I thought "Hm, maybe it was an angel." Only not seriously. Then I pictured this story... and I combined the already existing stories together and this is the result.

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by katya

When I'm waiting for something to download or for someone to return on MSN, etc., I started writing this dumb story. I finished the introduction, but I'm not actually sure what the rest of the story is going to be yet. I'm going to post the introduction now, and I'd like to see your suggestions on what happens next. You can keep any of the settings/characters or move to a new part of the world. The only thing that stays the same for sure is that the last line, spoken by "the figure", is true. If I like any of your suggestions, maybe I'll alter them and finish the story, or I'm always open to doing it as partners. Anyways...(not a word.^^, ) here's the story so far. It's called "Shimmer", a name I came up with before I started writing it, so try to incorporate that please and thank you.

Shimmer

"So," he said, looking crookedly at his companion, "You wanna get outta here?"

"Yeah," she replied. She took one last sip of her drink, and paid without a word.

As they stepped outside of the club, the night air stroked his cheek. His features were delicate, almost feminine; however. his eyes gleamed like cold steel. He reached into the pocket of his black jacket and pulled out a cigarette. Lighting it in silence, he motioned the girl to follow him as he started down the pavement.

The rays of the full moon, breaking through the clouds, gently bathed the city. It was a calm, beautiful evening, the cheap beauty of a sunny afternoon exchanged for intensely fragile gracefulness. The two's footsteps echoed through the empty streets.

The young man walked in a hurry, anxious to arrive at his destination. One could sense his cool passion, and the annoyance at a world that impeded him at every step. However, it would not pass when he did arrive. The girl struggled to keep up, plodding along in high heels.

"Hey, take it easy, baby," she said.

He rolled his eyes. "What?" His voice sounded irritated.

"You want me to break my ankle or something? What's the rush, anyway? Aren't we just heading back to your place?"

What was she doing in those shoes anyway? It seemed to him that she was just giving him one more thing to worry about. He wondered if she was in pain, and the thought pricked at his heart. His worry manifested itself in his voice as anger.

"Whatever," he said, and nothing more.

She looked at him sadly. Her eyes seemed to call out to him- "I'm sorry, I'm such a burden. I guess I shouldn't be with you after all. So, sorry." Sadness filled her chest and she failed to notice the slowing of his pace.

Suddenly the concern he was feeling was replaced with fear and alarm. There, in the empty street, was a pool of blood. From the looks of it, a car had hit something, and then driven off in a hurry. However, there was no sign of any body- only the blood, which gave off an eery glow.

"Baby," said the woman in a voice full of terror, "what the hell is this?"

He was silent and simply stared, uncharacteristically shaken up.

A figure in black crept out from an alley. The man readied himself for a fight, but the figure just stopped and looked at the couple.

"Don't worry yourself about me," it said, slowly. "I'm not the one you need to worry about. But I'll tell you what was killed in the middle of the street tonight. It was an angel."

[end]

Note: [feel free to ignore this part] believe it or not, this is sort of reality inspired. I was driving along the highway and there was this blood on the road. Of course, it had probably been a deer or something, but my first thought was "Christ! Someone got hit by a car! Sick!" Then I thought "Hm, maybe it was an angel." Only not seriously. Then I pictured this story... and I combined the already existing stories together and this is the result.

You had me scared there at first Kat, but the twist is very nice

[katya]

Heh, yeah sorry 'bout that. (You should read my angel-execution story.^^;; ) But I still don't know how to continue the story. I'm thinking I'm going to make it kind of happy since all my recent stories have ended really really depressingly. T.T I might even make the guy in the story stick around and be an angel. A cool cat angel. Maybe.^^; Yeah no one really cares though I guess.

[Lotesse]

I like this little story, but it feels like that is the story, and that no additions are necessary. To make it into a film script sized story, now THAT I'd be interested to see, but alas I have no ideas to add because of my writers-block demon (we hatesss him, yes we does, prrreciousss...)