The Taming of Jackson

[jerseydevil]

This was brought up in the - Return of the King Predictions (pg 4) thread.

This is for people to post all there suggestions for the raiding party we have planned for February when we storm Jackson's home.

a mob of mooters will storm Jackson's home - led by the JerseyDevil and make Jackson write for every dollar the movie grosses....

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"


ad nauseum (like the movie )....

So who is with me?

Or - we could make him write out The Lord of the Rings novel by hand 20 times so he finally understands what being a TRUE fan of the books is REALLY like - not the psuedo fan he is.

BTW - who thinks that while Jackson writes all this he should wear the Arwen costume? Makes a rather disgusting picture actually - but no worse than seeing Liv Tyler trying to play Arwen or having to get through the butchered Flight to the Ford Scene .

[jerseydevil]

Raiding Party....

JerseyDevil
Elvengirl
Sheeana
Elf Girl
Cirdan
Wayfarer
Cassiopeia
Hectorberlioz
Sister Golden Hair
Ruinel
mithrand1r
Beor

Jackson's mindless hoarde....
Black Breathalizer
IronParrot
Sween

The lists will be updated as people post or ask to be included in a particular side.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Elf Girl
Hmm... I'd go with all of them. Have him start with the LotR copying, so he understands what he's done by, I quote, 'taking a great novel and making a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!'.

I'm with you, of course.

I like your idea. We'll have him write the book out 20 times - that way he KNOWS why the NOVEL is so great. Then we'll have him write out the "I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

Make it sink in really well.

Originally posted by Sheeana
"Novel"?! Romantic Masterpiece, if you please!

Oh yeah, do I get to emblazon that on the side of his house with fluorescent pink spray paint? "I (Peter Jackson) will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

You can be in charge of the pink spray paint sheeana.

Does anyone want to be in charge of giving him the forty lashes as he writes his punishment out?

[Wayfarer]

Arrr... I was just going to, you know... Kill him a little. And stuff.

[cassiopeia]

I'll join in -- just a quick swim over the ocean for me. Oh, and make him say If you want him, come and claim him for every dollar he makes (how much is he making? Millions I believe). I'm afraid I can't volunteer to give him forty lashes -- seeing him in an Arwen dress that close will damage my eyesight.

[hectorberlioz]

I'll join. for the sake of venting my frustration. I feel a little guilty though at the same time...
ok. here is my suggestion. we make PJ recite the book in front of every true tolkien fan. Opera style.

[jerseydevil]

Cirdan suggested dressing Phillipa Boyen up as a dwarf and then to toss her.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Wayfarer
Arrr... I was just going to, you know... Kill him a little. And stuff.

We thought you might enjoy givin him the 40 lashes. Sheeana had nominated you if you want the job.

[Sheeana]

I move that we hire Dobby to make PJ's life a living hell. Heck, and while he's at it, he may as well smack him 'round that fat little gut of his... "Bad PJ! Dobby not like that movie!" *smacks PJ in the gut* ....

[hectorberlioz]

or...
dress PJ as an orc and shoot him with bow and arrows.

[IronParrot]

Concerning "I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!" -

Well first of all, the "never again" part sort of implies he's already done this, and I was pretty sure neither Dead Alive or Heavenly Creatures were based on great novels, so I have no idea what you're talking about...

Furthermore, to argue the "dumbing down" and "Hollywoodization" bit is one thing (even though it's complete trash, considering Hollywood's only involvement in the entire project was financing and distribution) - but to cite "making a quick buck" as a motive... well, you're going to the wrong person. You should be talking to studio types like Barrie Osborne and Mark Ordesky. Something tells me none of you have any idea how much money directors actually make. Considering that at the time the LOTR contracts were signed, Wingnut didn't have nearly the kind of bargaining power Lucasfilm or Pixar has nowadays, the fraction of the profit actually going into Peter Jackson's pockets is miniscule compared to what's going to distribution - that's right, Hollywood, where Jackson isn't.

Do your research, folks. It's one thing to debate the films, but this is just ridiculous.

Next you'll be pillaging the streets of Wellington since the film did so much for NZ's economy in terms of film deals and tourism.

Come on, guys, I know you can do better. After all the shenanigans in GM, is this ragtag misconception of how the film industry works on any level a sufficient demonstration of your true talents?

[jerseydevil]

IP - In the commentary if FotR Jackson clearly states that all he wanted to do was make a fantasy movie. While trying to decide - he figured he'd just do it on Lord of the Rings because it had a ready made fan base. As for the Hollywoodized comment - a movie doesn't have to be made in Hollywood top be considered Hollywoodized - all it has to do is be a dumb down, spoon fed action movie. That is what Lord of the Rings is.

You can disagree with all you want. I can't stand the movies. They're no better than the Terminator movies - which I do enjoy.

[Sheeana]

IP, the movies *may* have increased tourism somewhat - which was promptly nipped in the bud by the Bali bombings and SARs - but it still hasn't made up for what we lost by giving them a HUGE tax cut (a loophole in the system which saved New Line bucketloads.) And we haven't seen a penny in the revenue garnered by the movies success either.

[Black Breathalizer]

The Scene: New Zealand where a motley group of crazed Purists lay siege to Peter Jackson's home. Inside we hear PJ say:

Peter Jackson: It's hopeless...our home is taken.

Fran Walsh: Our whole family and your team have put our hearts and souls into these movies. We MUST defend them against such mindless and unwarranted attacks.

Peter Jackson: What can we do against such reckless hate?

Fran Walsh: Let's go out and TALK to them.

Peter Jackson: YES! ...for Weta and New Line.

Fran Walsh: For Tolkien!

Howard Shore's TTT theme plays on the Jackson's living room CD player as the two walk over to the front door and open it to face the likes of JerseyDevil, Elvengirl, Sheeana, Elf Girl, Cirdan, Wayfarer, Cassiopeia, and Hectorberlioz when suddenly...

To the East, a lone figure appears. A kindly old coot with a long beard wearing black ringwraith robes...

Fran Walsh: (excitedly) Black Breathalizer, our hero!!!

Black Breathalizer: Peter Jackson stands alone.

(Someone appears besides BB...)

IronParrot: Not alone. (shouts) LOTR film fans!!!!

Millions upon millions of enthusiastic LOTR fans run down the hill and scare off the pathetic, little clique of Purists and their sad arguements.

Peter Jackson: (gleefully) WE HAVE VICTORY!!! WE HAVE VICTORY!!!

Sean Astin (Narrator): The Purist whining will pass and a new day will dawn and these incredible films will shine out the clearer because they are true classics the public have said are worth fighting for.

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Black Breathalizer
Fran Walsh: For Tolkien!

Yeah, riiiiiiight.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Eärniel
Yeah, riiiiiiight.

I said the same exact thing when I read that and was going to post the same thing - so here it is - yeah riiiiight.

By the way - BB - we're not pathetic purists. The movies were just made for the mindless movie goers. We were expecting a more intelligent set of films - but sadly they were directed from a hack - someone who had never done anything other than B horror movies and porn.

[Sween]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
By the way - BB - we're not pathetic purists. The movies were just made for the mindless movie goers. We were expecting a more intelligent set of films - but sadly they were directed from a hack - someone who had never done anything other than B horror movies and porn.

I suppose i am a mindless movie goer then?

Im sorry to point out that these are infact very very good movies and to be honest FOTR was a cut about all other action movies i have seen it had more truely beautiful moments and better dialog than i have seen in a hundred other films.

Unfortinatally you seem to have the distinction between intellegent set of films and enjoyiable set of films blured. these are quite intelegent films as far as they go in comparisson to most other films infact of the films in there genra you could argue they are the most intelegent.

Anyway if you want something intelgent you read a book thats why we use them in all schools and dont use TV and Films so much! He made these films to be enjoyed and to be honest JD you cannot possiable arguee with the millions and millions of people that love these films and there is no pleaseing everyone so if you dont like them well thats just unlucky

[Black Breathalizer]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
By the way - BB - we're not pathetic purists. The movies were just made for the mindless movie goers. We were expecting a more intelligent set of films - but sadly they were directed from a hack - someone who had never done anything other than B horror movies and porn.

I have nothing against bashing movies. In another life, I was a notorious basher of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. I did it because I CARED about Star Wars and didn't want to see its legacy lessened because of how bad TPM was. I was able to articulate my concerns in great detail and welcomed opportunities to debate opponents.

But I have to wonder about posters like you, jerseydevil. What's the motivation behind your attacks? People of your ilk want to whine and moan about these films without any intelligent arguements to support your positions. If you get your jollies by attacking Jackson as a hack and a porn-maker, I suppose that's your right even if its ridiculous. But we'd respect you more if you presented actual arguements to support your beliefs.

The way you choose to present your position makes you look laughable. When you've been pushed in a corner to offer reasons in the past, you end up squeaking out lame points that get thoroughly trounced by people who know Tolkien and his books far better than you do.

So tell us, what's this really about, dude?

[Sister Golden Hair]

BB, Jerseydevil has always disliked the films and has always stated as much. He and I have discussed this several times off the board, and in most of his points I have to agree. I for one, do not dislike the movies, although, there are major disappointments in them. The omission of what I thought were some major characters in the FotR, the absolutely ridiculous exorcism of Theoden, the total hack job to Faramir's character, Aragorn's tumble off the cliff, making Gimli comic relief, etc. As I said though, the movies were not terrible, and because I had read the books some 30 years before the release of the films, I am a book fan. I can watch the movies and enjoy them, because I know what is Tolkien and what is Jackson. Unfortunately, people that haven't read the books cannot differentiate. Some movie goers end up reading the books which is great, but the images in their minds is that from the films, not their own, which is sad in a way, because they will never know the pleasure and stimulation that the books provide the imagination. To me, the movie takes all that away.

The movie is okay, but it isn't Tolkien.

[Black Breathalizer]

Saying Jackson's LOTR films aren't "Tolkien" is completely ridiculous and incredibly gutsy (I was going to say "ballsy" but that might not apply to some of you.) Just because you've read the books and happen to like them, does that make you The Official Grand PooPa of what does or does not consitutue "True Tolkien"?

The naivety of some of you people astounds me.

Point one: film screenplays are going to be different than books. You have to make the author's point in different ways. Literal translations hardly ever work and they sure as heck wouldn't have worked in the case of LOTR.

Point two: The films are a work in progress. You can't judge book Faramir against film Faramir until all three films are completed. Whether you want to admit it or not, your view of book Faramir is influenced by your memory of reading ROTK.

Point three: Jackson didn't "make up" Theoden's possession. Tolkien himself implied it. All PJ did was ratchet the issue up a couple of notches to make it more visual and more dramatic.